


On Horseback

by Emory7Claire



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Horseback Riding, America (Country), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Death, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Katsuki Yuuri, Australia, Colic, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Depressed Katsuki Yuuri, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Do horses count as original characters?, Domestic Fluff, England (Country), Eros - Freeform, Eventing AU, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Except the horses, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Germany (Country), Hasetsu, Horseback Riding, I have a problem, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's mostly Yuuri, Lots of dates, Lots of it, M/M, Major Character Injury, Makkachin - Freeform, Makkachin is his horse, Marriage Proposal, Nervousness, Olympian Victor, Olympics, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Paris (City), Rio 2016, Romantic Fluff, Saint Petersburg (City), Self-Doubt, Sick Animals, Sick Character, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, The horses are the original characters, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Victor is an eventer, Wedding Fluff, Yuuri has anxiety, Yuuri's horse Vicchan died, Yuuri's parents own a horse farm, doesn't last for long, fite me, he's ace, it's just scratching, not really - Freeform, they help each other, victuuri au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 51
Words: 99,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8916064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emory7Claire/pseuds/Emory7Claire
Summary: Yuuri is returning home to his parent's horse farm in Japan after five years of being away at college and competing in Three Day Events with his horse Vicchan, named after his idol Victor Nikiforov. Yuuri returned Vicchan to his parent's farm to rest and wasn't home for his beloved horse's peaceful passing. He's not prepared when he sees a familiar Thoroughbred in the barn and finds out that Victor has come to Japan to rest his horse Makkachin for the riding season before beginning training for the next Olympic Games. Yuuri is also not prepared for the amount of time they end up spending together and just how much his feelings for his idol blossom.AKAThe horseback riding fic that no one asked for, but I love this show and horses, so here we are.





	1. Bittersweet Return

**Author's Note:**

> The reception of this first chapter will decide if I continue with it or not.  
> Horseback riding terms you may not know are in the notes at the end of the chapter.

Yuuri stands at baggage claim, watching and waiting for his luggage to come by on the conveyor belt. People crowd around him, trying to stand as close as they can to where their bags will be dropped so they can grab their things and leave as soon as possible. Yuuri understands their want to do so. The flights from America to England and then England to Japan were torturous, and he wants nothing more than to get out of here and go home so he can take a shower and sleep for as long as he wants to.

Yuuri finally spots his suitcase and pulls it off the conveyor belt quickly, trying to keep out of everyone else’s way. He starts towards the exit, pulling his luggage behind him. He’s been in the United States for the past five years for college, only coming home during the long winter and summer breaks. It took him an extra year because he was competing around the country, but he’s graduated and is home for good.

Yuuri has just exited the baggage area when he hears a voice calling his name. He looks around and finally spots the source of the yelling.

“Yuuri!” Minako-sensei waves at him from across the way. “Welcome home!”

Yuuri smiles despite himself. Minako-sensei has worked for his parents as an instructor for two decades now. She taught him everything he knows.

“You ready to go? I’m parked right over here.” She takes his luggage and begins leading him towards the painfully obvious family vehicle.

Yuuri doesn’t blame Minako-sensei for using it, and it _is_ very hard to separate from the truck, but it’s still hilarious to see the horse trailer parked among business cars and taxis. Yuuri is thankful to see that none of his family’s horses are actually in the trailer itself as he climbs into the truck alongside Minako-sensei.

“How was the flight?” She asks Yuuri once she’s done cursing at the other drivers trying to get out of the airport.

Yuuri shrugs.

“Yuuko and the triplets have missed you. Those three have become really good riders considering they’ve only been taking lessons for a little while now.”

Her words fade into the background as Yuuri stares out the window as the distant towns turn into endless fields and forests as they head into the country.

Yuuri’s parents own and run a horse farm in the mountains outside the small beachside town of Hasetsu. He began riding and taking lessons at the age of five. His parents would have made him wait longer if he hadn’t already talked their ears off about riding ever since he could speak. After years of working hard at his riding skills and on the farm itself, Yuuri’s parents bought him a horse of his own when he was sixteen. He had to swear he would continue to take care of the other horses before they would do so.

Yuuri named the horse Victor after his favorite Russian eventer, the animal easily getting the nickname Vicchan, and the two became nearly inseparable. Vicchan would follow Yuuri around while he was doing his chores and wouldn’t stop whinnying at night unless Yuuri said goodnight to him. Minako-sensei saw potential in the horse, and Yuuri began training with her to become an eventer. After competing locally and nationally in Japan, Yuuri went to college in America, taking Vicchan with him and competing with his college riding team.

At the end of last year, Yuuri returned Vicchan to his parent’s farm to rest for a season. Two months ago, the horse passed away. Yuuri hadn’t gone to class for three weeks afterwards, holing up in his dorm room and hardly leaving his bed.

“Yuuri? Are you listening?”

“Huh?” Yuuri looks up to meet Minako-sensei’s irritated eyes.

They soften a moment later. “Were you thinking about Vicchan?”

Yuuri nods.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri.” Minako-sensei turns back to look at the road. “He didn’t suffer. He went to sleep and passed in the middle of the night. He was a spoiled old man; you should have seen how the triplets were all over him those last few months. They groomed him for hours every day.”

Yuuri can’t help but smile. “What did they do with his body?”

“It took a whole day, but we buried him in your favorite spot in the woods. We put up a shrine for him out there; I’m sure he’d love to see you when you get home.”

Yuuri nods as he turns to look back out the window.

 

“Yuuri!”

He manages to close the door to the truck and turn around just before he’s surrounded by his family and friends. The triplets bound around his legs, snapping pictures and asking questions a million miles a second. Their dad has to carry them away so Yuuko can say hello. She’s his riding mate and went to competitions with him as a dressage rider with her palomino mare. Yuuri’s mom and dad hang back, giving him a smile and scolding his sister Mari for smoking near the horses.

It takes a half hour for Yuuri to separate himself from everyone and finally gets to be alone in his room. He forgoes unpacking to flop down onto his bed, rolling over and looking around the space, which stayed just as he left it; small, simple, cozy, with his posters of Victor Nikiforov covering every wall.

Yuuri started obsessing over the eventer when he was fifteen and Victor Nikiforov was the youngest rider ever to compete and place in the Rolex Kentucky Event. Yuuri spent hours each day watching the training videos Victor’s coach had been uploading to the internet ever since the rider had been fifteen. A year after that first major competition, Victor bought his now famous thoroughbred Makkachin, and Yuuri immediately knew he wanted one. Vicchan had been an off the track thoroughbred who was quite successful in his time as a racer.

Victor went on to win the Rolex and other major three-day events for seven years in a row, six with Makkachin who people are beginning to call The New Secretariat considering the horse has rarely made a single mistake in his entire competitive career and hardly seems to be fatigued after multiple years of strenuous competitions. Most riders use different horses every year, but not Victor. Victor and Makkachin are inseparable as rider and horse.

There are rumors of Victor’s plans to rest Makkachin and train before the Olympics in two years. The now twenty-seven year old has never tried for the Russian team before, but has been expressing his interest to one day do so multiple times. It was Yuuri’s dream to compete against him one day, but with Vicchan gone, he’s not sure what he’s going to do now.

“Yuuri!” His mother’s voice comes from down the hall. “Dinner is ready! I made your favorite!”

“Coming!”

A minute later, Yuuri sits with his family, Minako-sensei, and the Nishigoris for dinner. Bowls of katsudon are placed before everyone and they all begin to eat, Yuuri the most ravenous of them all. He hadn’t eaten since morning American time and was absolutely famished when he began.

“Yuuri, tell me all about America,” Minako-sensei cheerily persists in between bites. “How was school and the riding team? How was your instructor?”

“Celestino was good,” Yuuri begins. “Always listening and putting our safety as his number one priority, but no instructor will ever be like you, sensei.”

Minako cries with delight. “Do you think you’ll continue competing?”

Yuuri bows his head at her words, suddenly disinteresting in his food.

She continues, “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to train you, and I’d love to go back to being a professional coach. Those events were so much fun! Do you remember the Japanese Nationals?”

Her voice becomes background noise as she recalls the day from years ago. What _will_ Yuuri do now? The college competitions in America put him in the spotlight and sponsors had shown their interest in him and Vicchan. He’d been asked multiple times if he would try for the Grand Prix or the Rolex Kentucky to truly begin making a name for himself. But that was before his horse passed. Yuuri knows that riders have multiple horses throughout their careers, but he had never imagined himself riding a horse other than Vicchan in competitions. How could he move on?

“Yuuri?” Yuuko’s voice snaps him out of his train of thought. “Are you alright?”

All eyes are on him, staring and concerned. He feels his face flush slightly. “Yeah, just tired.”

“You can go to bed,” his mother assures him. “Just take your bowl to the kitchen first.”

Yuuri did as his mother told him, closing his door as quick as it allowed and settling onto his bed, not bothering to turn on any lights. He had to go see Vicchan’s grave tomorrow. Maybe there--in their favorite place--he’d be able to figure out what to do.

 

It felt good to slip into his jodhpurs, chaps, and paddock boots once again. Yuuri had left them at home when he brought Vicchan back and now truly felt at home. In order to be allowed to compete, Yuuri had to help with the other horses on the farm. That was his parent’s one and only rule, and Yuuri was thankful for it. It gave him a sense of humility and responsibility.

Exercising the other horses allowed him understanding of the different personalities a horse can have and prepared him for Vicchan’s early outbursts. Yuuri would muck out stalls and brush horses and clean tack until long after sundown, kept company by the half ton animals around him. These tasks prepared him for college where the riders would leave their horses tacked in their stalls after a lesson for the stable hands to take care of. Yuuri would help the workers and ended up becoming one himself, earning a decent amount of money for his troubles.

As he steps into the barn the day after his return home, Yuuri is greeted with happy nickers and a dozen heads peering over stall doors to look at him. He smiles, petting each muzzle as he passes the creatures.

“Hi, Gia,” Yuuri muses to a pretty chestnut mare who licks at his fingers. “Nice to see you, Phichi,” he says to her neighbor. “Crispi, leave Niki alone,” he scolds a black mare down the aisle who snaps at the horse across the way.

His parents came up with an easy naming system for the schooling horses they use for lessons; the geldings are given the first names of famous eventers and competitive riders while the mares are given their last names. Niki is Yuuri’s favorite school horse, always choosing her to ride at the end of a long day of exercising. She’s calm and gentle with the smoothest gaits imaginable. Her being named after his idol is just a bonus.

Yuuri brings her tack and some brushes to her stall before formerly saying hello. The mare nickers at him, puffing air in his face once she smells his outstretched fingers. Yuuri blows back, a sign of friendship among horses, and reaches up to scratch her behind her ears.

“I missed you, girl.” He smiles as she leans into his touch. If Niki were younger, Yuuri would begin training her as an eventer immediately. But she hasn’t been able to jump over two feet in years and cataracts are beginning to form over her soft blue eyes. She’d be a spectacle in the arena with her dapple gray coat, but she’ll have to stay a happy old schooling horse.

Yuuri brushes Niki down in her stall, something Minako-sensei and his parents have been scolding him about for years.

“What if the horse spooks and tramples you?” his instructor has half-yelled at him multiple times. “Please put them in the cross ties from now on.”

But no matter how much he was scolded, Yuuri kept grooming and tacking the horses in their homes until everyone gave up telling him otherwise. He enjoyed being in their little apartment-like alcoves, hiding from the rest of the world in the dim space and entrusting his life to a creature that could kill him if it wanted to. The others didn’t realize how calm the horses are in their homes, leaning their necks out and hardly paying Yuuri any attention as they nibble on their hay.

Niki mindfully but calmly watches Yuuri as he asks her to lift her front hoof, catching it when she complies and digs out the mud and sawdust stuck inside. He uses a trick he learned at a camp to get most of the gunk out in one move; he finds the groove beside Niki’s frog and moves the pick down it hard and fast, the dirt coming out and falling to the stall floor in one clump. Niki lifts her hooves as Yuuri approaches each one, and he mumbles a thank you each time. Vicchan used to do the same, sometimes tricking him and putting the hoof down before Yuuri could grab it.

Niki doesn’t mess around like that as he finishes grooming her and putting her tack in place. She doesn’t complain as the girth is tightened around the front of her barrel, and she takes the bit into her mouth without complaint. Yuuri adjusts his helmet before taking up her reins and leading her out to the entrance of the forest trails. A stone mounting block stands outside the gap in the trees, and Yuuri mounts Niki from the block with ease.

A breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding escapes him as he settles into the familiar leather of the saddle. He can feel Niki’s breathing against his legs which conform perfectly to the shape of her back and sides. She moves forward when his ankles squeeze into her stomach, and they soon are moving along the dirt path at a steady trot.

Yuuri gives Niki her head, letting the reins lie loosely in his grasp. She whinnies, stretching out her neck and relaxing her already smooth gait. The morning sunlight shines softly through the fresh, spring leaves. Yuuri adjusts his seat as Niki finds her way up a hill, urging her into a steady canter once they reach flat ground. The mare whinnies once more as she settles into the faster gait.

It’s a few more minutes before they enter the place that was Vicchan and Yuuri’s favorite to relax in. Niki halts in the center of the space, letting Yuuri dismount onto the stone ground that has become overrun with grass and weeds. He ties up Niki’s reins, allowing her free roam of the place to graze. It’s a small clearing on the mountain, overlooking the sea and beach and small town of Hasetsu. Cherry blossoms frame the view, and to the side of the clearing stands a small stone altar. Behind it, just before the line of trees, is a mound of dirt.

Yuuri kneels before the altar. When he first found it, it was empty. Now, a shrine to his horse is set in the alcove. There’s a picture of his and Vicchan’s first competition, Yuuri in the picture hugging the horse’s neck as he holds up the blue ribbon for the camera to see. Flowers and Vicchan’s bridle accompany the picture.

Yuuri smiles. “Hi, Vicchan. I miss you… I’m so sorry I couldn’t come back to see you one last time. If I had known that you… I would have taken the next flight home.

“I don’t know what to do now.” Yuuri feels tears building up behind his eyes. “I don’t know how I could compete without you.

“What am I supposed to do, Vicchan?” Yuuri’s voice has risen. “I don’t want another horse. I can’t even _think_ about looking for one. I just want you back. Why did you leave? I know you were getting old, but I thought we had a few more years... I wanted to compete against Victor together.

"How could you have died?!” He’s cut off when a sob shakes his body and he can’t stop the tears that flow from him.

Yuuri feels soft skin and whiskers brush against his cheeks and accepts Niki’s head when she lowers it, hugging her close. “Thank you, girl.”

The ride back is quiet and thoughtless, Yuuri allowing himself to be consumed by the stillness of the forest around him. He doesn’t even notice the commotion and noise coming from the barn until he and Niki have stepped out from the trail.

A trailer and pickup Yuuri doesn’t recognize is parked in front of his home, a legion of people moving items into the house and barn from the vehicle. In the middle of the current is Yuuri’s family, trying to direct everyone and keep order. Did someone come to train with Minako-sensei? She's not very well known, so how could they have found her here?

Yuuri dismounts, leading Niki into the barn, where there's even more commotion. Mari and Minako-sensei are in the middle of everything, trying to get horses out for lessons while ordering the moving people around as to where everything should go.

Yuuri gets Niki into her stall before any of them can catch him. He untacks her and is able to slip the equipment into the tack room while Minako-sensei is trying to explain to one of the moving men that they don’t have room for five more saddles. Yuuri is heading back to Niki’s stall with grooming supplies in hand, when he sees something that’s very wrong.

A horse is in Vicchan’s stall.

The horse stands about sixteen hands, roughly Vicchan’s height, but its color is deeper and richer, a liver chestnut as opposed to Vicchan's bay. Its build is exactly that of Yuuri’s horse, distinguishing it as a thoroughbred; long legs and face with strong muscles rippling under its coat. The horse looks to him and cocks its head, a perfect star and blaze adorning its face and four perfect socks coloring its legs. A person stands in the stall with the creature, back turned to Yuuri.

“Excuse me,” he says, not even trying to hide the anger in his voice. “But this stall is not to be used.”

The person turns, a surprised look on their face. _His_ face, Yuuri realizes instantly, taking a jarred step back. His face is a face Yuuri knows, a face he sees every morning when he wakes up and every evening before he falls asleep. It’s a face that covers his walls along with his horse’s, who stands beside him in Vicchan’s stall with his perfect blaze and four white socks.

Victor Nikiforov brushes his silver hair out of his ocean blue eyes as he smiles at Yuuri. “I’m sorry, but there’s nowhere else for Makkachin to go.”


	2. Blushes and Trail Rides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri huffs, taking deep breaths to calm his rising rage. Of all the emotions he could feel towards Victor Nikiforov, he never thought anger would be one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! I will be continuing this fic, and I have some VERY exciting ideas for the story. Just a quick note, I'm home from college with nothing to do, so that's why the chapters will be coming out so quickly. I can't promise that will be the case when I get back to school.  
> P.S. I wore my fuzzy horse socks while writing this.

“I’m sorry, Yuuri,” Minako-sensei runs a hand through her messy hair. “There’s no other stall to spare in the main barn and the boarding barn isn’t gonna be done until next winter.”

They’re standing in the middle of the aisle, Victor’s moving people still rushing around them at Mari’s commands. “Does this man really need _this much_ fly spray?!” Yuuri’s sister exclaims. “When the _hell_ are the Nishigoris getting here?”

Minako-sensei sighs, rubbing her temples with the pads of her fingers. “Yuuri, I have to deal with this mess. Can we talk more about this later?”

“But-”

“Don’t give me that,” Minako-sensei interrupts. “Start your chores. They should be up on the bulletin board.”

And with that, she turns and walks away. Yuuri huffs, storming out of the barn. He’ll start his chores once he’s gotten answers. And he knows just the person to ask.

“Well, his arrival was unexpected,” Yuuri’s mother explains. “We got a phone call late last night to tell us that Victor Nikiforov himself was on his way here from Russia. He said that he wants to rest his horse for a year before beginning to prepare for the next Olympics.”

“So, he’s trying out for the team?” Yuuri asks from across the table. Footsteps and yelling come from the hallways leading to the bedrooms.

“Victor is already _on_ the team. At least, that’s what he told us.” Yuuri’s mom smiles. “He told your father and I that Russia’s Olympic team practically begged him to represent their country.” She takes her son’s hand. “Oh, Yuuri, isn’t this exciting?! An Olympic rider living under our roof!”

Yuuri smiles despite himself. His mother’s happiness has always been contagious, but he thinks he might catch her never ending good mood this time. He leaves the house, nearly running right into one of the moving men. As he apologizes, Yuuri notices what the man is holding: a box containing more blue ribbons and trophies than he’s ever seen before.

Back in the barn, he checks the bulletin board for the horses being used in the next lesson and begins tacking them up. It’s in Chrispi’s stall, trying to keep her from biting him while he picks out her hooves, where the realization finally hits Yuuri.

Victor Nikiforov is going to be staying here for up to a year. _His idol_ is going to be living under the same roof as him for a year. How the hell did this happen?! Why is Victor even here? He could have rested Makkachin at his own stable, so why come all the way to Japan? How did he even hear about this place?

Five mucked stalls, every saddle and bridle cleaned, and three lessons later, Yuuri’s just finished adjusting Emil’s bridle when his name is said from outside the stall. He looks to the door and starts when he sees Minako-sensei standing there accompanied by Victor.

“Yuuri, I have a lesson to teach right now,” she explains. “Will you show Mr. Nikiforov around, let him know where everything is and how the barn works?”

Yuuri swallows and manages to squeak out, “Yeah.”

“Thanks, Yuuri.” Minako-sensei gives him a smile before turning and disappearing out of the barn.

Yuuri turns to Victor, a blush creeping up his neck when he sees those bright blues eyes watching him and the smile set into the eventer’s gorgeous face.

“Where does our tour begin?” Victor says cheerily, waiting patiently for Yuuri to answer.

“Well, ummm… Mr. Nikiforov-”

“Please, call me Victor,” the eventer insists. “Mr. Nikiforov is for competitions.”

“R-right.” Yuuri swallows again. “How about we start with the barns and then, um, we can go out onto the trails.”

“Sounds good.” Victor’s smile widens and Yuuri’s blush deepens.

He ties up Emil’s reins and exits the stall, trying to avoid looking Victor’s way knowing his idol is just inches from him. Yuuri motions for Victor to follow him down the barn aisle, thankful that the moving people are finally gone. He focuses on explaining everything while avoiding eye contact.

“This is the main barn,” Yuuri starts. “All the schooling horses live in here and are owned by my parents.”

“They own the farm?” Victor asks.

“Yes,” Yuuri responds, reminding himself _not to look_ for fear of melting. He begins pointing out the horses and naming them. “This is Ota, Ji, Mina, Gil, Gia-”

“Wait, Gia?” Victor reaches out to the chestnut mare. “As in Giacometti?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri watches her lick at his fingers. “All the school geldings are given the first names of famous riders and the mares get last names.”

“Who’s this gorgeous girl?” Victor asks, reaching out to Yuuri’s favorite dapple gray.

He hesitates before answering. “Niki.”

When Victor turns to look him in the eye, his smile is almost too wide for his face. Yuuri’s heart skips a beat. “It’s an honor to share a name with such a beautiful creature.”

They exit the main barn and Yuuri points out the construction for the new boarding building, explaining that they’ve gotten lots of people with their own horses who want to train with Minako-sensei and are making a new space for those horses to stay. Yuuri points out the pastures past the indoor and outdoor riding arenas, and finally brings them back into the main barn.

Yuuri turns to Victor, lowering his eyes to try and hide his blush. “I’m sure I don’t need to show you the tack room. I have to exercise Gia, so we can head out on the trails once I get her tacked up.”

“Okay, I’ll get Makkachin ready.”

They go into the tack room together, Yuuri picking up Gia’s old gear and faded saddle blankets and Victor taking up Makkachin’s new and perfect equipment. Yuuri watches Victor go into Makkachin’s stall, expecting him to take the thoroughbred out into the crossties, but stops in his tracks when Victor starts tacking his horse up inside the stall. Yuuri stares until Victor catches him looking.

Yuuri leads Gia and the champion pair to the beginning of the trails, mounting on the block while Victor gets into the saddle from the ground with ease. Yuuri urges Gia forward, Makkachin and his rider close behind. He can’t help but stare at the legendary horse, his coat gleaming in the midday sunlight, gait easy and perfectly composed.

Yuuri looks up to Victor whose never ending smile is almost as infectious as his mother’s. The champion’s seat is relaxed yet perfectly set with downward heels and a straight back. His bangs hang down from under his helmet, concealing one of his aquamarine eyes.

Yuuri has to force his own away from that face to focus on Gia, who’s taking an interest in a bush on the side of the path. He pulls her head up and presses a leg to her side, steering her away from the greenery.

Yuuri begins his tour of the forest. “There are a few trails back here. If you stay straight on this path, you’ll make a big circle through the woods and end up back at the farm.” He points as they pass a trail to their left. “That one goes down the beach down by Hasetsu.”

“What’s up there?” Victor asks, and Yuuri turns to where he’s looking. It’s the hill that leads to the overlook: Vicchan’s grave.

“Nothing,” Yuuri answers quickly. “Let’s keep going.”

“ _Yu_ -uri,” Victor purrs, sending chills up his spine. “Are you hiding something up there? Is it a shrine to your lover?”

Yuuri sighs, shaking his head. “There’s nothing up there. Let’s just keep going.”

He’s about to set Gia down the main path at a trot when cantering hoofbeats sound behind him. To his horror, Makkachin is halfway up the hill when he turns around.

“ _VICTOR_!” Yuuri practically screams, Gia shifting under him nervously.

Victor stops his horse immediately, staring down at Yuuri with amazement and a hint of fear. Yuuri huffs, taking deep breaths to calm his rising rage. Of all the emotions he could feel towards Victor Nikiforov, he never thought anger would be one of them.

“Let’s go,” Yuuri says as calmly as he can, not waiting for Victor and Makkachin to come down from the hill before he moves Gia forward. The mare is still antsy, but a quick scratch under her mane has her calmed down. If only Yuuri could do the same.

They’re silent for a little longer, the only noises coming from the forest and their horses’ occasional snorts and constant hoofbeats.

“Why did you come here, Victor?” Yuuri asks when he can’t take the silence anymore.

“To rest Makkachin,” he answers simply. “I’m going to be training him hard for the next Olympics, so I want him to have some rest time beforehand.”

“I meant… Why did you come _here,”_ Yuuri specifies. “To my parent’s farm. Why didn’t you stay at your stable in Russia? It must be a lot nicer than this place…”

Victor smiles at him. “I like it here. The stable in Russia is so crowded and distracting and there aren’t any trails like these. Everything is so formal and I wanted Makkachin to be in a different environment while resting.”

“And how did you find Yu-topia?” Yuuri asks.

“Well, I was talking with my fellow competitors after the Rolex this year about resting Makkachin and one told me that he knew the perfect place.” Victor smiles. “And he was right!”

Yuuri frowns. “Who was it?”

“Oh,” Victor thinks a moment. “I’m so bad with names. He was a Thai rider, Phichit something or another.”

Of course. Phichit was Yuuri’s riding mate in America and the only person who willingly listened to him go on and on about Victor in college. They were roommates for almost all their semesters, and Phichit had to look at Victor’s face all over Yuuri’s side of the room every day. Is this his best friend’s way of getting them together? Yuuri has to Skype him later and demand some answers.

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice pulls him back into reality. The champion has stopped Makkachin in front of a trail entrance off the main path. “What’s down here?”

Yuuri pulls Gia up beside him. “That’s the cross country trail.”

Victor perks up, turquoise eyes going wide with excitement. “With jumps?”

“Well, yeah,” Yuuri answers. “We don’t have open fields, so I practiced cross country down here. There are some logs and stone fences and a water jump.”

“Can we go?” Victor’s voice is as eager as his expression. Even Makkachin looks excited, pawing at the ground and tossing his head.

“Well…” Yuuri thinks a moment. Gia can’t jump those fences, but Minako-sensei made it so she could ride alongside Yuuri and avoid the jumps with a small path on the side of the trail. It wouldn’t hurt to give Gia a little bit more of a workout.

“Okay,” he finally answers, and Victor squeals with delight. “Just follow the path and you’ll get back to the main trail. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Thank you so much, Yuuri.” He’s hardly finished his sentences before Victor is sending Makkachin down the trail at a canter. Yuuri has to act fast to keep from losing him.

Victor rides with the expertise of the champion he is and the joy of a child. Yuuri watches as he sends Makkachin over each jump perfectly, hardly holding back and letting the horse take the jumps with an ease Yuuri has never seen before. Victor never breaks from his flawless position and has seemingly cast a spell to turn him and his horse into one being with one mind.

Gia is panting when the cross country trail ends and they finally slow to a walk. Makkachin, however, has hardly broken a sweat. The horse’s stamina has been called the stuff of legends, but here it is, demonstrated before Yuuri’s very eyes. Makkachin could very well take Secretariat’s title as the horse that God built.

On the other hand, Victor is a sweaty mess. He leans over Makkachin’s neck, breathing heavily around his laugher and scratching under his horse’s mane. “Thank you, Yuuri.”

The eventer looks up at him, smiling wide. His cheeks are flushed pink from the exercise and his eyes catch the light through the trees perfectly, illuminating the joy in them to a sparkle. “That was the most fun I’ve had in years.”

Yuuri smiles back, ducking his head to hide his blush. “It was my pleasure.”

 

This is the most worst dinner of Yuuri’s life. Well, that’s a slight exaggeration. What is the proper way to describe a meal in which your idol (and crush) is sitting across from you and asking questions to all your closest friends and family while they laugh and talk and all you can do is sit in silence and think endlessly about this afternoon?

Problematic? Yeah. It’s a problematic dinner.

“How long have you been working here, Mika?” Victor asks.

“It’s Minako,” Yuuri’s instructor corrects.

“Oh, forgive me,” Victor chuckles. “I’m terrible with names.”

“It’s no problem.” Minako-sensei takes a swig of her beer. “I’ve been instructing for about two decades now.”

Victor’s eyes widen. “That's almost as long as my grumpy old coach back in Russia. You’re much lovelier a coach than he is.”

Minako-sensei blushes. “Thank you.”

“Does that mean you trained Yuuri?”

He looks up as eyes turn to him, suddenly all to aware of his own existence.

“Yes, I did.” Minako-sensei smiles proudly. “I taught him everything he knows.”

“You did an excellent job from what I saw of his riding today, Mini.”

“Minako.”

“Right, sorry.” Victor’s attention turns to Yuuri. “Did you ever compete?”

“I made sure he did!” Minako-sensei jumps in before Yuuri can answer. “He and his horse are a magical pair. Yuuri won the Japanese Junior Nationals two years in a row before he went off to college, where he continued to ride and won all sorts of competitions.”

“Under what discipline?”

“Eventing,” Yuuri answers quietly.

“I’d love to see you and your horse in action,” Victor says to him. “Maybe I could offer some advice for future shows.”

That’s the moment the room goes silent. Every eye except for Victor's is concerned and sad, watching for what Yuuri will do. Despite the pain and fury that leap into his chest, Yuuri simply stands, excusing himself, and rushing off to his room.

“What did I do, Mako?”

“It’s Minako!!”

Yuuri settles into bed with his laptop, thankful that his door blocks out the noise from down the hall. He opens Skype and calls Phichit when he sees that his old roommate is online.

Phichit picks up after two rings and his familiar, smiling face pops up on the screen. “Yuuri!”

“Hi, Phichit-kun.” Yuuri can’t help but grin back. “Did you get home alright?”

“Yeah, the flight was the worst, though. How’re you doing?”

“I’m alright,” Yuuri answers, only being half truthful. “How’re the horses?”

Phichit has three beautiful horses that he rotates throughout competitions. “They’re all good. Still a little shaken from the flight.”

“I hope they feel better.” Yuuri nibbles at the inside of his lip. “Phichit, did you ever talk to Victor at the Rolex this year?”

“Yeah! I forgot to tell you about that!” Phichit is the second youngest rider to ever compete in that event. “He offered to get all the younger competitors dinner, it was a really awesome night.”

“Did you tell him about Yu-topia?”

Phichit’s smile turns into a sly grin. “...maybe.”

“Phichit-kun!!”

“He kept going on about needing the ‘perfect barn to rest my horse in,’” he over-exaggerates Victor’s Russian accent, getting Yuuri to chuckle. “Yu-topia was the perfect place, was I not supposed to tell him about it?”

“This has nothing to do with my obsession with him?”

“Yuuri.” Phichit’s tone becomes serious. “When _you_ are given the opportunity to get your best friend together with the man of his dreams-” Yuuri groans, falling back against his pillows. “-you wouldn’t miss that chance for anything!”

“Well, you succeeded. He’s here! _Now_ what do I do?”

“Whoo him with your charms,” Phichit commands. “You can do it, I believe in you!”

“Goodbye, Phichit-kun.”

“Yuuri-” He’s cut off when his friend ends the call and closes his laptop, setting it on the floor and turning to scream into his pillow.

What the hell was Phichit thinking? _He_ whoo Victor Nikiforov?! That’s impossible! He’d already embarrassed himself in front of Victor enough and snapped at him in the woods. Yuuri would be surprised if Victor didn’t already hate him.

A soft knock on his door has Yuuri’s head lifting from the soothing embrace of the pillow. “Who is it?”

“It’s Victor. May I come in?”

Yuuri panics. The posters.

“Now isn’t a great time,” Yuuri calls back.

“Well, I just wanted to apologize. I had no idea about your horse. I’m sorry, Yuuri. I can’t imagine that kind of loss.”

“I appreciate it,” Yuuri says back.

“Goodnight, Yuuri.”

“Goodnight, Victor.”

Of all of the things that could be swimming at the forefront of his mind when the lights are off and he’s drifting to sleep, the one Yuuri dwells the most upon is, ‘he remembered my name?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fly spray - it's like bug spray for horses. We spray it on their legs to keep the flies off them in the summer  
> Tacking up - a common way to say "putting on the horse's riding equipment"  
> Schooling horse - a horse owned by a farm/barn to be used for lessons when riders don't own their own horses  
> Boarding - when someone who owns a horse keeps them at someone else's barn  
> Tack room - the room in a barn where all the riding equipment is kept  
> Saddle blankets - blankets and pads made to go under the saddle to protect the horse's back from the leather saddle. The pads can help to keep the rider's weight off the horse's spine  
> Gait - a term for the different speeds horses move at: walk, trot/jog, canter, gallop/run  
> Seat - the way one sits in the saddle, meant to be balanced and light  
> Downward heels - this is important to do at all times because the downward heels act as a rider's seatbelt, keeping their feet secure in their stirrups  
> Cross country - one of the three events held during three-day events, usually held second, after dressage. This is one of the most dangerous disciplines of horseback riding as horse and rider jump immovable natural fences made of logs and stone while galloping over a stretch of open country. This event can and has caused fatal accident  
> Discipline - the event or type of horseback riding one rides in (dressage, show jumping, three-day eventing, etc.)


	3. Welcome to the Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gives Yuuri a smile, softer than what he usually gives him. “It was nice talking to you.”  
> With that, Victor turns and walks away. Yuuri watches him go.  
> “It was wonderful talking to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your continued support of this work, I really appreciate it. All your kind words give me motivation to keep writing. Thank you so much.  
> P.S. Does anyone else think Welcome to the Madness sounds exactly like Welcome to the Jungle?

The next two weeks go by all too slowly. The Nishigoris meet Victor for the first time, the champion grinning like the sun while the triplets take pictures and Yuuko gushes over him. Soon, it’s news all over the world: Victor Nikiforov is resting his horse in Japan before the Olympic games.

Yuuri only sees the champion and his horse every once in a while throughout the day when doing his chores, often in the arena or at the trails. Victor always smiles and waves at him, and Yuuri blushes and waves back before continuing with his work. They eat at the same table, but Victor’s time and words are usually taken up by Minako-sensei asking him questions or Yuuri’s parents engaging him in conversation.

The only designated time when they see each other is at night. As Yuuri comes out of the bathroom when he’s done getting ready for bed, Victor is always there to take it after him. They always exchange a smile and a ‘goodnight’ before Victor closes the door and Yuuri goes down to his bedroom.

One night at dinner, Victor’s phone goes off and he excuses himself to answer it. The conversation the champion has is in Russian, Yuuri only picking up on his tone which ranges from polite to annoyed to laughter. Yuuri even hears his own name, tossed in as if Victor was speaking to him. When the champion comes back into the dining room to finish his meal, he’s chuckling and shaking his head.

“I’m far too forgetful for my own good,” Victor says as he sits down at the table once more. “One of the young riders, Yuri Plisetsky, won the Junior Grand Prix last year and made me promise to choreograph his freestyle dressage routine for this season.” Victor sighs as he rests his chin on his hand. “Yuri is a good rider, but he’s too set on winning and trying to prove himself. I hope my coach doesn’t push him too far.”

Minako-sensei talks to him about his coach and the other riders, Yuuri’s mother inquiring about the music Yuri Plisetsky wants to use. Yuuri excuses himself early. He lies awake in bed that night, not sure why there’s a relentless pang in his heart. It takes longer than usual for him to fall asleep, and when he finally does, his dreams are restless.

 

Ever since he was allowed, Yuuri has always been the first person in the barn each morning. It’s been blamed on his love for horses or eagerness to help, but Yuuri’s room is on the east side of the house so he always gets woken up early with a faceful of harsh sunlight. Minako-sensei uses this to get all the morning chores done, so Yuuri’s early rising habits aren’t wasted.

He walks into the barn groggier than usual and, like clockwork, the horses poke their heads out of their stalls and nicker their good mornings. Yuuri’s about to greet them when he notices an absence in Vicchan- Makkachin’s stall. He goes to the door and peeks inside, unable to stop himself from staring at what he sees.

Victor Nikiforov, seven year world champion, lies beside his horse on the floor of the stall, sound asleep against Makkachin’s side. He’s wearing an old pair of jodhpurs and paddock boots which are caked with mud and currently resting in a pile of manure. Victor’s hair is tangled and covering his face. Makkachin’s head rests in the man’s lap, happily sighing in his sleep.

Before he can stop himself, Yuuri has opened the door and crouched down beside the sleeping pair. His fingers tremble as he slowly reaches out with a hand and pushes the hair away from Victor’s face. The eventer’s cheeks are stained with mud and Makkachin’s fur is stuck to every inch of him. Still, his silvery lashes catch the morning light perfectly and the soft lines of his unconscious face make him look like a child.

It’s several seconds before Yuuri realizes those blue eyes are open and staring at him.

Yuuri’s heart leaps into his throat and he jumps back, hitting the door of the stall as he does so. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean t-”

“Yuuri,” Victor interrupts with a chuckle. “It’s fine.” He sits up, yawning. “I should have known my charms worked on you too.” VIctor laughs as Yuuri blushes hard.

“Why are you sleeping in here?” Yuuri asks.

“Makkachin was being clingy yesterday,” Victor explains, petting his horse’s head which twitches at the touches. “He wouldn’t leave me alone, so I figured he was homesick. I decided to sleep with him so he’d feel better.”

Makkachin, now awake as well, snorts and blows a long breath at his owner, who blows back before scratching under his mane.

Yuuri stares. “You do that too?”

Victor looks up at him. “Hmm?”

“The blowing,” Yuuri explains. “To show friendship. You do it too?”

Victor beams. “I thought I was the only one who did! All the Russian riders think it’s stupid.”

“Absolutely not, it’s a great way to bond with your horse,” Yuuri smiles. “Vicchan and I used to do it all the time.”

“Vicchan was your horse?” Victor asks, hardly taking notice when Makkachin starts nibbling at his owner’s hair.

“Yeah, he was a thoroughbred like Makkachin, but a few years older,” Yuuri’s smile drops a little. “I really miss him.”

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri.” Victor reaches out and takes his hand. “I can’t imagine losing a friend like that.”

They stay there for a moment, Yuuri staring at their conjoined hands while he feels the soft warmth of Victor watching him.

“I should get started on my chores,” Yuuri says while standing, feeling the absence of Victor’s hand and immediately wanting to grab it back.

The champion rises as well. “Let me help you.”

“Are you sure? It’s dirty work.”

“I can handle it,” Victor grins, arms proudly set akimbo on his hips.

Yuuri snorts softly. “If you say so.”

Not only can Victor handle it, he insists on doing the same amount of work as Yuuri. He fills up the water buckets while Yuuri scoops feed for each horse, and despite Yuuri’s insistence, he helps get fresh hay into each stall. Instead of cleaning just the bridles like Yuuri tells him to, Victor does half of the saddles and gets a load of blankets running in the laundry room just off the tack room.

So, this is why Makkachin and the horse’s equipment are always perfectly taken care of, and why Victor is always dirty at the end of the day. Yuuri thought he spent hours in the barn each day because he was lazy and took his time to look after Makkachin. Now, he understands that Victor takes care of every inch of his horse and the equipment he needs to keep riding and doing what he loves. The eventer’s passion for these creatures is unparalleled.

They turn out the first group of horses, pausing to lean against the fence and watch them trot and canter away together, looking for the best spot to graze.

“Is this what made you want to ride?”

Yuuri turns to Victor whose chin rests on his arms that are folded over the fence. He smiles as his eyes follow the herd.

“Partly,” Yuuri answers. “When I was little, I would sneak into the pasture and sit among the horses for hours. They’d lay down next to me and I sometimes fell asleep. I’m lucky I never got trampled.” Victor chuckles beside him. “When Mari began riding, I was so jealous. I didn’t stop begging my parents to let me take lessons until they finally gave in, with a little help from Minako-sensei. What made you want to ride?”

Victor’s smile widens. “My parents were supportive of everything I wanted to do. I played every recreational sport I could, performed in multiple school plays, and even joined the mathletes team. I found my passion in riding when a friend of mine told me about a nearby stable and my parents agreed to let me take lessons. The rest is history.”

“Thank you for helping me this morning,” Yuuri says after a moment of silence. “I figured a famous rider like yourself wouldn’t be willing to help with stupid barn work.”

“It’s not stupid.” Victor straightens, turning his whole body to Yuuri. “It’s important. I feel like one needs to earn the right to ride by treating the horses with the utmost respect and caring for them.”

“Wow,” Yuuri smiles to himself. “I always figured you famous riders just made the stable hands do everything.”

“The others at my stable are like that, and that’s one of the minor reasons why I wanted to leave Russia for a different barn,” Victor explains. “They’re not actively abusive to their horses, but neglect is almost as bad.” Victor’s voice now seethes with rage. “They don’t even take the time to cool them off after training, it’s disgusting!”

Yuuri, for the millionth consecutive time, stares at Victor Nikiforov, his idol, a man he practically worshiped as a god, and finds a beautiful human standing beside him. A human of compassion and fear for the safety of the creatures he has devoted his life to. A human that makes Yuuri’s heart melt.

“I have to keep working on Yuri Plisetsky’s free style program,” Victor says as he straightens and steps away from the fence. He gives Yuuri a smile, softer than what he usually gives him. “It was nice talking to you.”

With that, Victor turns and walks away. Yuuri watches him go.

“It was wonderful talking to _you_.”

 

Yuuri takes Crispi down the trail today, allowing the stubborn horse to work out the tension in her muscles. The two gallop down the main path, Yuuri sitting up off the horse’s back to give her as much speed as she wants.

No matter how fast they go, Yuuri’s mind can never drift fully away from this morning. Damn him and his stupid crush. Yuuri always figured it would go away with time, that he’d meet someone who would steal his heart and he’d be able to leave the idea of Victor behind.

Damn Victor for being so human. The person Yuuri had crushed on for eight years was a beautiful idol, someone to look up to and aspire to be as good as one day. He was a pretty face, a plastered smile, a playboy who whooed everyone but Yuuri. Now, Victor Nikiforov, seven year world champion has become Victor Nikiforov, horse lover and dork with the biggest heart of anyone Yuuri knows.

Is _Victor_ the one stealing his heart and leaving the idea of the world champion behind?

Yuuri groans, burying his face into Crispi’s mane as the horse walks the last few meters to the end of the trail.

The music is what makes Yuuri lift his head. Makkachin and Victor are in the outdoor arena, what sounds like death metal coming from a stereo set on one of the fence posts.

Yuuri dismounts, walking Crispi to the arena. As he gets closer, he can see what the championship pair is doing and it sends a chill down his spine. Victor has Makkachin at a collected canter, sending him diagonally across the arena. With every two strides, the horse makes a flying lead change. When they reach the corner, Victor invisibly sends Makkachin into a pirouette.

Yuuri doesn’t notice he’s crying until he tastes the salt on his lips. He wipes his eyes and feels the panging in his chest once more, finally understanding what it is: he misses this. He misses being an eventer with the one horse he could ever truly give himself to. Yuuri will never get to experience this again and that realization shatters his glass heart.

Victor notices him and waves, trotting Makkachin over. “Hi, Yuuri! Do you like the routine- Yuuri? Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” he ducks his head as more tears spill from his eyes, leading Crispi away. “Have a good ride.”

Yuuri can feel the gaze of those ocean blue eyes burning into his back even when he’s entered the barn and disappeared from Victor’s sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dressage - a discipline of horseback riding and one of the three events in three-day eventing where the rider gives invisible commands and the horse performs an intricate "dance"  
> Freestyle dressage - where dressage riders choreograph a routine to music  
> Blowing noses - horses do this as a way or greeting each other or showing friendship and often do it with humans  
> Nibbling at hair - horses show affection by grooming each other which humans can replicate by scratching at their manes. In return, horses will nibble at the human's hair to groom them (its happened to me and it's super cute)  
> Collected canter - a canter with a shortened stride  
> Flying lead change - when a horse canters, their lead is determined by what front leg falls ahead of the other. A flying lead change is when the horse changes their lead to the other while continuing to canter  
> Pirouette - a 360 degree spin in place, often done at the canter in dressage


	4. He's the Pang in My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is hardly aware of his own breathing. His focus is on nothing but his horse and the fences around them. His heals are turned down as they move through the next turn, headed for a diagonal line. His thumbs rest on the tops of the reins and his inside leg presses to Niki’s side for the mare to turn against.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your continued support of this fic, I've had so much fun writing it and reading your comments. A quick note: I'll be going back to college on the 22nd and will be busy. I will get chapters out at least once a week. Things will be more relaxed at the beginning of the semester, so I might be able to do two or three a week until things really take off. Again, thank you and I hope you enjoy.

“ _ Yu _ -uri, are you done with your chores?”

He pokes his head out of Ota’s stall to find Victor standing in the middle of the aisle wearing his usual smile.

“Pretty much,” Yuuri answers, stepping out of the stall. “Why?”

“Miko said I couldn’t jump unless someone is watching me,” Victor explains. “Something about ‘in case of an emergency’ or whatever. So, will you?”

Yuuri frowns. “Will I what?”

“Watch me jump?”

“...alright.”

Victor has already set up jumps in the outdoor arena and is warming Makkachin up with flat work by the time Yuuri has taken place on the fence. He understands the champion’s want to jump after a month of being forced to stay on the flat.

Victor finished choreographing Yuri Plisetsky’s freestyle dressage routine and was relieved when the young rider agreed to use it. Victor’s freestyle routines had always gotten near perfect scores due to his interpretation of the music he used, often getting pieces written just so he could perform what he wanted perfectly. Yuuri’s surprised more competitors haven’t come to him with requests for routines.

Victor slows Makkachin from a canter to a trot and sends the horse over a crossrail on the outside of the arena. Yuuri watches the ease with which the thoroughbred leaps the fence and his rider’s subtle and perfect shift to jumping position.

Victor allows Makkachin to keep his canter, head turned to a diagonal jump. With a shift of the champion’s leg and a slight pull of the reins, the horse makes a clean turn and one, two, three strides later leaps the vertical jump with ease.

As the champion pair continues around the jumps, perfectly poised over the outside lines and oxers, Yuuri finds himself instinctively reacting to each movement. His calves tighten and his back arches and he counts strides as if it were him riding the course. Yuuri slumps against the rail, the pang returning to his chest.

He remembers his first time jumping Vicchan. Yuuri had owned the horse for a month by that time, Minako-sensei insisting that he wait to understand the horse’s habits and personality on the flat before trying him over jumps. Yuuri fell three times that day, twice from Vicchan bucking him off. He had been incredibly frustrated and almost walked out of the arena.

Minako-sensei had stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, held out Vicchan’s reins, and told him to mount up. They went slowly over jumps from there on out, trotting over a few crossrails and verticals before cantering them and then trying a course. That was the first time Yuuri and Vicchan connected, the first time they had seem to meld into each other and become one being. He’ll never stop missing that feeling.

Victor jumps two more courses with Makkachin, letting the horse walk in between, before dismounting. Yuuri meets him at the gate, holding it open for the champion pair.

“Thank you, Yuuri.” Victor pauses and smiles at him. “I’ve missed that so much.”

“I know the feeling.”

Yuuri stays where he is, watching Victor and Makkachin disappear into the barn. He turns to the arena, eying the jumps. Niki hasn’t been exercised yet today. Could he…?

Before he’s questioned it, Yuuri is inside the arena, going to each of the jumps and lowering them from a meter to half a meter. He gives the oxer an incline so it’ll be easier to jump and walks the course, testing each fence for the best turning points and number of strides between jumps.

Ten minutes later, Yuuri mounts his favorite dapple gray mare and begins warming her up. Despite her growing age, Niki’s excitement has never faltered. She whinnies and tosses her head excitedly when she sees the jumps. Yuuri pets up and down her neck, trying to calm the mare down, but he shares her enthusiasm.

When he sends her towards the first jump, he can’t keep Niki at a trot and lets her leap the crossrail at a canter. Yuuri’s heart jumps into his throat as they leave the ground, every inch of him going numb from the adrenaline suddenly pumping through his body. Her hooves hit the dirt of the arena floor and he settles back to the saddle, jarred into reality.

Yuuri squeezes his calves around Niki’s sides and she elongates her strides, heading for the outside line on the other side of the arena. They cross the short end, Yuuri staying centered in the saddle as Niki’s body curves under him. They come out of the turn and face the line, his adrenaline spiking and her canter leaping forward. Two strides later, they’re in the air. Four strides later, they’ve landed on the other side of the second jump.

Yuuri is hardly aware of his own breathing. His focus is on nothing but his horse and the fences around them. His heals are turned down as they move through the next turn, headed for a diagonal line. His thumbs rest on the tops of the reins and his inside leg presses to Niki’s side for the mare to turn against. His heart beats in time with her strides and in one, two, one, two, three they leap one fence and two, one leap the second one.

Niki pivots around Yuuri’s leg once more, nearly galloping for the oxer on the quarter line of the arena. She heaves under his legs, but refuses to slow.

“Come on, girl,” Yuuri mutters. “Last jump.”

Niki snorts as if to say she doesn’t need his encouragement, and in three strides, she leaps the two rails and lands perfectly. Yuuri finally manages to slow her to a walk, her head leaning low as she catches her breath.

He sweats and lays his chests against her neck, scratching at her mane. “Good girl.”

“ _ Yuuri! _ ”

He looks up and sees Victor leaning against the fence of the arena, grinning and clapping like a madman. He slips between the posts and runs across the dirt to Niki’s side.

“Yuuri.” Victor takes his hand and smiles up at him from the ground. “Let me train you and Niki, I know you’ll be able to win the Rolex with my help!”

Yuuri stares at the eventer for five silent, agonizing seconds. He sighs, pulling his hand from Victor’s grip and hating the way the other rider’s face falls. “Niki is too old, Victor. She’s going on twenty; she can’t jump more than half a meter.”

Victor’s face falls further, his gaze dropping from Yuuri’s eyes to Niki. The hand that held his runs softly across her cheek, staring into eyes beginning to be tainted by cataracts and at fur that has begun to lose its unique gray dapples. “Oh.”

Yuuri watches the eventer walk away, the pang in his chest once for his own sadness now for Victor’s.

“I’m sorry.”

 

They don’t speak for the next week.

Yuuri can’t get the image of Victor’s downcast eyes and lost smile out of his head. It keeps him awake at night and makes him question why he cares so much. Victor has only been here for a few weeks, it’s not like they’re best friends at this point. Yuuri isn’t sure if he would even call the champion a regular friend. Still, the pang in his heart hurts more for Victor than himself and he can’t understand it.

The champion’s offer to train Yuuri and help him win the Rolex Kentucky sticks with him through the silence. The Rolex is one of the few three-day events overseen by the Federation Equestre Internationale or FEI. There are only half a dozen of these events that happen at the Olympic level, the Eventing World Championship this year being one of them. The Rolex is actually the first of six events that make up the FEI Classics.

Yuuri was considering trying for the Longines Grand Prix before Vicchan had died. The two of them always excelled at show jumping and winning that jumping competition would have put them in the spotlight of the competitive equestrian community. They would have been strong contenders for the FEI Classics. Without Vicchan, Yuuri will never get that chance.

One night, the closing of the stable is tasked to him. Yuuri stays in the stable until the sun sets completely behind the mountains. He makes sure all the horses have water and hay, checking hooves for dirt and rocks, and saying goodnight before heading up the hill to his home.

After dinner, Yuuri is lying in bed when there’s a knock on his door.

“Yeah?”

“Hi, it’s Victor. May I come in?”

Shit.

“One second!” Yuuri scrambles to his feet, starting to pull the posters from his walls.

“Is everything okay?” comes the voice from outside.

“Yeah, just give me a second!”

He takes down as many as he can, shoving the pile under his bed and going to the door. Yuuri opens it and immediately goes red. Victor stands on the other side already dressed down for bed in nothing but his boxers. The champion is muscular… everywhere. Yuuri steps back and ducks his head so Victor can come in.

He sits on his bed and motions for the other rider to take a seat behind him.

“I was thinking about how you jumped Niki,” Victor says as Yuuri sits down. “You are an exceptional rider.”

“Thank you.” Yuuri ducks his head and plays with his hair.

“I’ve also been watching your videos from competitions,” Victor continues, ignoring the noises Yuuri makes. “You and Vicchan were an incredible pair in America. You were the best rider on your college team.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“You were,” Victor insists. “And because of that, I’d like to buy you a new horse.”

“ _ What?!” _ Yuuri jumps to his feet, staring wide-eyed at the eventer.

What is he saying? Is he insane?

“It’s the least I can do considering all you and your family are doing for me,” Victor says. “Yuuri, you deserve a chance to make a name for yourself as an equestrian. You’re fantastic and I know you’ll be able to win with the right partner. There are a few breeders that I contacted this week, and they have some horses that they’re willing to sell-”

“Stop,” Yuuri interrupts. Victor stares at him, head cocked slightly. “I… I can’t do that. I can’t take your money-”

“I’m giving it to you.”

“- and I can’t betray Vicchan like that.”

Victor’s eyebrows narrow, blue eyes darkening. “There’s nothing wrong with moving on, Yuuri.”

“I can’t, Victor…” Yuuri hangs his head, trying to hold back the tears threatening to flow out of him. “I’m not ready, I… I don’t want…” his voice trails off.

“I understand,” he hears the bed creak and footsteps heading for the door. They pause. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

The door shuts with a click, and Yuuri falls to his knees, the panging back and in full force.

 

The forest is quiet the next morning. Yuuri doesn’t bother tacking Niki up completely, putting on the mare’s halter and lead rope and riding her bareback into the trails. His posture is off, back slumped forward and eyes downcast, but it hardly seems to phase Niki. She walks through the trails with her perfectly smooth gait, letting Yuuri hold tight to her mane, knowing exactly where he wants to go.

They climb the hill Yuuri screamed at Victor for going up and continue forward down the trail. They enter the overlook and Niki halts, letting him slide off her back to the grassy ground. She walks off to graze and leaves Yuuri to kneel before Vicchan’s shrine alone.

He’s silent for a solid minute, the only sound Niki tearing at grass behind him. What is he supposed to say to his best friend? How can he ask for what he’s about to?

When Yuuri finally opens his mouth, his voice is almost too soft to hear. “Hi, Vicchan. Sorry I haven’t come to see you. Things have been… they’ve been pretty crazy.”

He chuckles. “You’d never guess who came to stay at the barn for a year. Victor Nikiforov himself. He’s resting Makkachin before the Olympics. And he’s nothing like what I kept telling you. I don’t know what it is, but he’s kind and passionate and I think I’m falling for him.”

Yuuri laughs at his own words. Is  _ he  _ insane? Falling in love with the most famous eventer in the world is the craziest thing he’s ever done, and Phichit once convinced him to take a pole dancing class in college.

“Vicchan, I need to ask you something. I really don’t want to have to, but I can’t deny how much I want to keep competing.” Yuuri stares at the ground, playing with the dirt at his knees. “I jumped Niki a while ago, and I remembered how much I love eventing. I want to keep competing, maybe even win the Classics or get into the Olympics, and I can’t do that unless I have a horse able to compete.”

Yuuri takes a deep breath and looks at the picture in the center of the shrine, finally allowing his tears to drop. “Can I get a new horse, Vicchan? Can I compete without you?”

**Nothing. No answer, no affirmation. Yuuri sits before his horse and cries out his grief until there is nothing left of him. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flat - flat work or on the flat refers to the basic gaits and exercises a horse and rider do without leaving the ground  
> Crossrail - a kind of jump with the rails crossed in the middle  
> Diagonal - a jump set on the diagonal line of the arena  
> Vertical - a kind of jump with one or more rails set vertically between the posts  
> Line - a kind of jump set with two or more jumps placed one after the other. These jumps can be placed on the outside or against the wall of the arena or on the diagonal  
> Oxer - a jump with two vertical posts set close, one in front of the other  
> FEI Classics - a group of six three-day events held from April to November every year that begin with the Rolex in Kentucky and end with the International Event in Australia. The overall winners get tens of thousands of dollars in prize winnings  
> Eventing World Championship - a three-day event held every four years between the Olympics as a part of the World Equestrian Games  
> Longines Grand Prix - three separate events held in Hong Kong, Paris, and Los Angeles for indoor show jumping


	5. Water Washes Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite seeing him every day, Yuuri still hasn’t gotten over the eventer touching him. The small brushes of skin, leaning on shoulders, and overall closeness has increased between them, but he can’t exactly say he doesn’t enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for you continued support. I love reading your comments and refreshing the page to see more hits. It's so shumbling. I had my first riding lesson in months today so I'm in a good mood. Therefore, you get this chapter early.  
> P.S. Are there any scenes you guys want to hear from Victor's POV? I've been considering doing those as in betweeners as I work on new chapters. Let me know if you do.

Two months after Victor’s arrival, the champion won’t stop complaining about the heat.

He’s been leaning limp against the barn wall under one of the big fans, groaning and rolling back and forth. Yuuri had to stop him from taking his shirt off three times.

He’s giving Ota a sponge bath when a sweaty body is draped over him from behind, bare, muscled arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

“ _ Yu- _ uri,” Victor moans into his ear. “Why is it so  _ hot?” _

Despite seeing him every day, Yuuri still hasn’t gotten over the eventer touching him. The small brushes of skin, leaning on shoulders, and overall closeness has increased between them, but he can’t exactly say he doesn’t enjoy it. Yuuri hates admitting to himself all the times he’s wanted to kiss Victor.

“Because it’s summer,” Yuuri explains, trying to get the sweaty Russian man off of him so he can go back to taking care of Ota.

“Will you take me to the beach?” Victor practically begs, still clinging to him like a child.

“Not right now, I have chores to do.”

“After your chores?”

“...fine.”

The arms around his neck tighten to near strangulation. “ _ Thank you, Yuuri!”  _ Victor presses a kiss to his cheek before finally letting go.

Yuuri watches the eventer leave the barn, his face bright red. He reaches up to touch where Victor had just put his lips and his face flushes deeper.

Yuuri has thought about the eventer’s offer every day since he suggested it, and has yet to come to a decision. On one hand, he desperately wants to compete and doesn’t want to retire before his career has even begun. On the other, Yuuri hasn’t finished grieving. It’s been four months, but he still hasn’t gotten over Vicchan’s passing.

When he and Vicchan were still competing, Yuuri had thought about how his horse would one day pass and it troubled him, but he had not believed that to be the end point of his career. Yuuri had understood that one day Vicchan would die and he’d inevitably need a new horse. So why is it that he can’t imagine himself with a new horse now?

Yuuri’s thought about it, and he believes it’s because his horse’s death was unexpected. He always planned on retiring Vicchan when the horse had shown significant signs of aging. He had not planned on retiring Vicchan for another two or more years. The sudden lose of Yuuri’s horse had left a greater impact than if he had watched Vicchan fade over time.

He sighs into Ota’s fur and the horse stands stoic while leaning into him slightly.

Victor and Yuuri, having changed into swim trunks, decide to forgo saddles and ride Makkachin and Niki into the forest trails bareback. Yuuri leads the eventing pair down the path that leads to the beach. The trail follows a steady decline through the mountains that eventually opens onto the water. The area right off the path is shallow and sandy, perfect for riding and swimming on a hot day.

As they follow the trail, Yuuri turns to watch Victor and his horse. The eventer leans down against Makkachin’s neck, sighing happily at the cooling shade offered by the trees. Neither of the riders are wearing shirts, and while he’s gotten slightly more used to seeing Victor topless, Yuuri is still self conscious about his idol seeing his bare chest.

He’s always had a problem with his weight, gaining it easily if he doesn’t exercise regularly and eats too much. Yuuri put on quite a bit when Vicchan passed and he was binge eating and hardly moving for months. His weight has now dropped because of daily riding, but he still has a bit of a belly.

The horses step out onto the sand. The sun is half hidden behind the tall mountains that circle the beach, turning the stretch of ocean into a cove. The water is still and glistening under the sun.

Before Yuuri can turn to see Victor’s reaction, the eventer and his horse are cantering towards the water. Victor hollers as Makkachin’s hooves splash into the waves, spraying the water up to drench the eventer instantly. Yuuri chuckles and shakes his head, urging Niki forward until she enters the cove as well. The ocean is cool against his legs as the mare moves deeper into the water.

Makkachin trots back and forth through the cove, tossing his head happily as his rider gets more and more soaked. Yuuri lets Niki do what she wants as he watches the eventing pair.

“ _ Yu- _ uri!” Victor calls as they pass by. “Come on!”

“No, I’m alright,” Yuuri calls back as Niki walks calmly through the cove.

As the pair passes by again, Victor leans and splashes water right at Yuuri, surprising the other rider so much that he almost falls into the ocean. The eventer laughs at Yuuri’s face as Makkachin trots away.

Niki is after them with just a slight press of Yuuri’s heels. She reaches Makkachin in no time and Yuuri returns Victor’s favor, splashing the other rider. This time, someone does fall off from the surprise, and Yuuri bursts into hysterics as Victor surfaces next to his horse with a look of death in his eyes.

Yuuri doubles over and doesn’t notice when Victor disappears back under the water. The rider cries out when hands grab him and pull him from Niki’s back. He hits the water with arms wrapped around him, wrestling him to the sandy floor of the cove. Yuuri struggles against the eventer as the waves push them towards land, the pair eventually being washed up onto the sand.

They’re laughing against each other when they hit the air, foam and ocean water flowing over them. Yuuri opens his eyes and immediately goes red.

He’s lying on his back, Victor on top of him, their chests pressed together. The rider is giggling against Yuuri’s bare neck, his warm breath making his skin tingle.

“I haven’t had this most fun in…” Victor leans up, looking at Yuuri directly, his blue eyes glistening. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun.”

Yuuri can’t stop himself from grinning like a madman. “Me too.”

Victor smiles back, the eventer’s cheeks going pink.

They fish their horses out of the water and spend the afternoon racing across the sand, having more splash fights, and eventually lying on their horse’s backs in the water as they watch the sun set.

“How do you end up picking Makkachin?” Yuuri asks.

“My coach took me to breeders and trainers all over Europe, and I tried out a dozen horses everywhere we went,” the eventer begins. “None of them felt right. When I met Makkachin for the first time, he was so open and friendly, like a big dog.”

“All horses are like big dogs.”

Victor laughs and Yuuri’s heart melts at the other rider’s smile. “You’re absolutely right. It wasn’t just his personality. When I first got on him, it felt like perfection.” Victor runs a hand over Makkachin’s barrel to the content sighs of his horse. “His body seemed to fit perfectly to mine and when I worked him through the flat… it felt like our minds had become one. Almost like…”

“You had melted into each other,” Yuuri finishes. “There wasn’t a place where he ended and you began. You moved and thought together, and you haven’t felt anything as incredible since.”

Victor stares at him, aquamarine eyes shining the color of the sea beneath them. “Exactly.”

Yuuri smiles at him, his eyes bittersweet. “I know the feeling.”

They slip into an easy quiet for the next few minutes, the sun drifting further across the sky.

“Yuuri,” Victor interrupts their silence.

“Hmm?” Yuuri opens his eyes and turns to the eventer.

“Have you thought about my offer?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

Yuuri looks at Victor and Victor looks back. Could he really take this young man’s money? Could he move past the loss of his horse? Those blue eyes seem to say everything; ‘don’t worry, I’m giving it to you’, ‘it’s alright to move on’, ‘I’ll be here for you’. And Yuuri believes them.

“I’ll look for a new horse with you.”

Victor smiles wider than Yuuri has ever seen him do before. The other rider reaches out and Yuuri takes his hand. This time, he doesn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sponge bath - a way to cool off horses in the summer without hosing them off: we wet sponges and wash off their sweat spots


	6. Minuet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mare’s gaits are quick but smooth, and she easily responds to every command Yuuri gives her. The slightest press of leg and pull of rein turns her smoothly around the arena and sends her through collected trots and quickened canters. On the surface, she’s the perfect eventer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your continued support of this fic. I'm so thankful that you all are enjoying it, because it means I get to keep writing. I will post the next chapter on Sunday before I head back to college, so be prepared for some time after noon eastern standard time. Enjoy the chapter, and thank you again!  
> P.S. I hope this can be a distraction from the inauguration for some of you.  
> P.P.S. Kanako is Minami's coach from the anime

Minako-sensei refuses to let them go alone.

“I’m your lifelong instructor,” she half screams at them. “There is no way in hell that you are buying a new horse without my insight!”

It takes Victor a bit of negotiating to get time with a willing seller, but they settle on a date in early September, and Yuuri is hardly able to wait. He has the eventer go over the details again and again.

“Kanako’s a trainer and coach,” Victor explains again at dinner the night before. “She buys racehorses after their prime and trains them in eventing. She has a couple of horses she’s willing to let you try out.”

Yuuri hardly sleeps that night, too excited to keep his eyes closed for more than a few minutes at a time. There’s still a sense of guilt hanging over him, but he has to move on. Victor and Minako-sensei will be there to support him.

The next morning, Victor is bounding around with a gleeful skip in his step. Yuuri smiles at the eventer all the way through breakfast as he talks about what they should be looking for in the horses.

“They should be very calm and responsive,” Victor says around a bite of his food. “That’s obviously important for dressage, but cross country courses can go horribly wrong if horses don’t listen. They should also have stamina and a good gallop stride. For show jumping, they should be careful over the jumps. All in all, we’re looking for a brave, athletic, and fast horse.”

“What about conformation?” Minako-sensei asks.

“The conformation should obviously be sound,” Victor answers. “And the horse should have good feet, that’s important.”

Yuuri’s hands shake as he adjusts his jodhpurs and slips on his chaps later that morning. Whether it’s from excitement or shame, he’s not sure. There’s a knock at his door and it opens a second later to reveal Victor’s smiling face.

“Ready?” The eventer asks.

Yuuri grins back despite himself. “Yeah.”

Victor takes his hand and they walk to the truck together, getting in beside Minako-sensei, and driving away with the horse trailer. Yuuri sits in silence, staring out the window while the other two equestrians talk and share stories. Kanako’s barn is an hour away, so he has a lot of time to think about what he’s about to do, a fact he hates.

Yuuri had too much time to think in college after his horse’s passing, and that constant working of his mind dug him deeper into his depression. Yuuri had never lost anyone important to his life before Vicchan and had no idea how to cope with moving on. How does one move past a life that was so important to their own? It feels like he’s throwing all memory and honor of Vicchan into the dirt and crushing it under a stampede.

He can’t do this.

Yuuri opens his mouth, about to tell Minako-sensei to turn back, when a hand takes his. He turns and there’s Victor, a look of concern in those cove blue eyes, almost as if he knew exactly what Yuuri was thinking of. Victor’s thumb rubs up and down the back of his hand, a motion Yuuri focuses on. The push and pull is like the waves and with every motion, the rising pang in his chest subsides until there’s nothing left.

Yuuri can do this. He can move on.

Victor keeps holding his hand until they arrive at the stable, a barn nicer than the one at Yu-topia and quite a bit bigger. Stablehands and riders walk back and forth with horses or equipment or feed, the bustle of people more reminiscent of a city street than a barn.

A woman with a big smile waves them towards a dirt parking lot, grinning wider as they exit the car.

“Victor!” the woman reaches a hand out which the eventer shakes. “So good to finally meet you! I’ve heard a lot about you from Yakov on his visits.”

“My coach tends to brag about his students,” Victor responds, to which the woman laughs.

“This must be Yuuri,” she says, looking to the other rider. She holds out a hand to him. “Odagaki Kanako. Pleasure to meet you.”

Yuuri takes her hand, startled by her firm grip. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Don’t be shy,” she chuckles. “I don’t bite, despite what my students will tell you.” Kanako gestures for everyone to follow her. “Right this way. I already have the available horses in an arena for you. Would you like to ride first or check conformation?”

“Conformation first, please,” Victor answers for Yuuri, looping an arm over the other rider’s shoulder.

“Of course.”

Kanako leads them through the barn, the riders and stablehands staring at the group as they past by the stalls. They come out on the other side to an arena where several stablehands are walking four horses around the fence. They bring the horses over to the group when they see Kanako.

“These are our best horses.” she runs a hand over a chestnut’s cheek. “They were all successful race horses and have incredible skills in eventing.”

Victor, Yuuri, Minako-sensei, and Kanako enter the arena, the seven year champion approaching the first horse and running his hand over the slope of the bays back. From what Yuuri can tell, the horse has good conformation; his withers and shoulders are at a good angle, and he stands comfortably on all four legs. Victor and Minako-sensei, however, don’t look as pleased.

“He’s well built, but look here,” Victor points to the horse’s front legs. “He’s pigeon toed.”

Yuuri looks, and sure enough, the horse’s front hooves are turned inward.

“That’ll put too much strain on him,” Minako-sensei adds.

Kanako tells the stablehand to take the horse away as they look to the next one; a flea bitten gray mare. She turns her nose towards Yuuri, sniffing at his fingers before nuzzling his palm. He giggles as she leans into his scratches.

“Good temperment,” Victor grins.

“Minuet is the sweetest horse we have,” Kanako says proudly.

Victor turns to look her over. “Well proportioned back… good neck and head… nice legs!” He sets down her hoof, smiling up at Yuuri. “Would you like to test her out?”

“Of course,” Yuuri grins back.

Kanako asks the stablehand to tack up the mare and she’s whisked away as the group looks over the two remaining horses. Victor disqualifies them both, noting that one has a slight long back which are prone to injury and the other has a cracked hoof wall. The stablehand brings Minuet back into the arena.

Yuuri puts on his gloves and helmet while Victor checks the girth and straps on the bridle. The eventer gives him a leg up into the saddle and the people still on their feet make their way out of the arena.

Minuet responds to the slight press of Yuuri’s heels, turning towards the fence and walking around the arena once before urging her into a trot. The mare’s gaits are quick but smooth, and she easily responds to every command Yuuri gives her. The slightest press of leg and pull of rein turns her smoothly around the arena and sends her through collected trots and quickened canters. On the surface, she’s the perfect eventer.

However, something is wrong that Yuuri can’t quite put his finger on. It’s not that something is wrong so much that there’s something missing. The melding of mind and body that he felt with Vicchan and described with Victor… it’s just not there. It does take more time to develop a deeper understanding of each other, but Yuuri just can’t imagine developing them with this-

“ ** _YUURI-KUN!!!!!”_ **

Minuet spooks, jumping away from the wall and springing into a canter with her head held high. Yuuri loosens his reins and sits hard on her back, trying to get her to slow and relax. When he finally does get her to a walk and her head hangs low, he can hear the yelling coming from the other side of the fence.

Kanako is practically spitting at one of her students, a teenage boy with a thick streak of red in his hair. Victor and Minako-sensei are at Yuuri and Minuet’s side a second later, his instructor holding the horse’s reins while he dismounts and the eventer asking if he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” Yuuri responds.

“I hate to disqualify her because other than the spook, she was perfect,” Victor says as he scratches at her withers.

“I would have said no to her anyway,” Yuuri explains. “She just didn’t…”

“No connection?”

“Yeah.”

Victor sighs sadly as a stablehand whisks away the mare. The three of them exit the arena to be instantly stopped and apologized to by Kanako.

“I’m so sorry about Minami,” she says over and over. “He’s a big fan of yours, Yuuri.” She turns to the student at her side whose head hangs in shame. “He forgot about the rules we have against yelling at the barn.”

“It’s fine,” Yuuri says to her before turning to Minami.

The teen looks up at him, big eyes wide and scared. The rider ruffles his hair, thanks Kanako for her time, and leaves with Victor and Minako-sensei. He gets into the truck and can hear happy shrieks followed by more scolding from Kanako.

As Minako-sensei drives back to Yu-topia, Yuuri’s mind is blank. There’s an emptiness where the pang might overtake him, and he doesn’t understand why.

 

Victor goes to the barn to take care of Makkachin, leaving Yuuri to sit at the table with his mother and Yuuko as they sip tea and listen to Minako-sensei ramble about the day.

“He was doing perfectly on that horse until this… child comes out of nowhere and screams!” the instructor takes a swig of her beer. “‘Course a horse that spooks at something like that would never work as a professional-”

“Yes, Minako-sensei,” Yuuko interrupts. “We know.” She looks to Yuuri. “Are you sure the mare couldn’t have worked?”

Yuuri shakes his head, hiding his frown behind the rim of his cup. “She would be a much better dressage horse than an eventer. Besides, we didn’t really… click as a pair.”

“Mmmm,” Yuuri’s mother muses. “I remember how well you and Vicchan ‘clicked’ when you first rode him.”

Yuuri smiles at the memory.

All of the schooling horses are rescues or from auctions where they could have been sold to glue or meat factories. Vicchan was no exception to that.

Trainers and breeders will sometimes give up on their less cooperative horses and try to desperately get rid of them at auctions if private buyers won’t bite. Vicchan was stubborn, but one look and Yuuri could see his potential. The dirty brown coat and tangled black tail belonged to a horse perfectly built and as brave as any Yuuri had ever seen.

He begged his parents to buy him that one, and they did.

Yuuri had taken to the gelding immediately, setting him up in a stall and brushing him until every speck of dirt and tangle was gone. He got into the saddle with his parents, instructor, and friends watching. Nothing had ever felt like it.

“I honestly don’t know if I’ll find a horse I clicked with as well as I did with Vicchan,” Yuuri mumbles to his tea before taking a sip.

The room goes silent around him.

“You aren’t honestly having second thoughts now, are you?” Minako-sensei demands.

Yuuri just shrugs.

“One failed barn isn’t the end of the world, Yuuri,” Yuuko says.

“Victor has a list a meter long of trainers and breeders.” Minako-sensei slurs her words around the lip of the bottle. “We’ll find you a horse.”

Yuuri’s mom tries to force the beer away from the instructor as his mind goes elsewhere. He knows it isn’t the end of the world, but if today didn’t go according to plan… what’s to say every other attempt won’t fail as well?

Yuuri goes to his room and doesn’t emerge for dinner. There’s a knock on his door just as he’s finally about to drift to sleep.

“Come in,” Yuuri grumbles as he turns on the light and fishes around for his glasses.

“Are you alright?” Victor says as he closes the door behind him. The eventer is once again without a shirt. “I haven’t seen you since we got back.”

Yuuri shrugs. “I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“Minako said you’ve been having second thoughts.”

Yuuri just nods.

There’s a moment of silence. “Mind if I sleep with you?”

Yuuri stares up at the other rider, cheeks flushing pink.

“To keep you company,” Victor elaborates, his face going rosy. “I found that being around others keeps me from being sad.”

Yuuri nods, shifting over to let Victor get into the bed beside him. He takes off his glasses and turns off the light as the other rider settles next to him. Yuuri lies with his back facing his. A familiar warmth presses against his hand and Yuuri lets his fingers interlock with Victor’s.

“Goodnight, Yuuri.”

“‘Night, Victor.”

The rider wakes up the next morning with the eventer’s chest pressed to his own, Victor’s nose nestled against his shoulder and arm wrapped around him. Their hands are still clutched together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conformation - the physical characteristic of a horse linked to how well a horse will perform and its overall health  
> Withers - the bone at the base of the neck  
> Flea bitten gray - a coloration of horse that consists of gray skin and white fur covered with dots of black. Look it up, they're adorable


	7. The Hardest Part of Riding is the Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m your friend, Yuuri. It’s my job to help you be confident in yourself. Why don’t you trust yourself to make this decision?”  
> Has it even been his decision?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're leaving early, so this is going up early.  
> Thank you all for your continued support. I love reading your comments and seeing new updates as much as you all seem to be enjoying the story. I don't know when I'll get the next part out due to school, so please be patient. Thank you again and enjoy!  
> P.S. I'm genuinely sorry about the grays and their colorations, I had no idea that dapples faded with age when I began writing. Nine years of riding doesn't teach you everything. I'll do my best to be more accurate in the future, but there is some suspension of disbelief needed in reading this fic. Thank you all for understanding.

Over the month of September, they go to several more breeders and trainers, always coming up empty.

Yuuri tries a dozen horses, looks over three times as many, but none of them are right. They all have a fault or don’t listen well or are too skittish or a million other little things. What’s worse, Yuuri doesn’t click with any of them, bringing his deepest fear to life.

After he has to drag Victor away from a fight, Yuuri doesn’t want to try again.

“You can’t give up!” the eventer says from across the breakfast table. “I promised you that I’d help you find a new horse!”

“Well, it hasn’t worked,” Yuuri snaps, wanting to take it back immediately. “It just feels pointless to keep looking when we’ve failed so much…”

“If I had that attitude in the beginning of my career, I never would have become a world champion.” Victor’s voice is stern before softening when he speaks again. “I’m your friend, Yuuri. It’s my job to help you be confident in yourself. Why don’t you trust yourself to make this decision?”

Has it even been his decision?

“Just one more, Yuuri,” Victor begs. “Just one more and if you want to stop looking… we will.”

“Fine, Victor,” Yuuri rises, staring down at the rider. “One more.”

Victor is nothing if not a man of his word. He calls up the next trainer on his list and sets up an appointment for the very next day. They pull into the stable parking lot the morning of with high tensions and Victor acting way too perky.

A Korean woman approaches them, shaking Victor’s hand when it’s offered. “Min-soo, nice to meet you all.”

“Feelings mutual.” Victor’s smile is far too big. “What have you got for us today?”

Min-soo gestures for them to follow her through the main barn. “I have some of the best thoroughbreds in the world for you to see. They did exceptionally in their racing careers, all with fantastic stamina, and have transitioned to eventing smoothly.”

“Wonderful.” Victor gives Yuuri a wide smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. The rider is nervous.

Yuuri wishes he hadn’t agreed to this. All the other trainers claimed to have ‘exceptional’ horses as well, and we all know how well those went. He doesn’t want a machine that’s trained to perfection with no real mind driving it to act. Yuuri wants a horse he connects with, one with an unkempt mind and spirit. He wants an unbroken creature to befriend.

The group passes a gray horse on the cross ties in the barn aisle, its blank-faced owner not paying them any attention. They emerge to a huge, Olympic sized arena where five foot jumps are set up. Stablehands walk three horses around.

Minako-sensei whistles as she leans against the fence. “They’re gorgeous.”

“They’re the best horses you will find in all of Japan,” Min-soo says smugly.

Yuuri looks and instantly knows she is right. Each walks with a perfect composition, muscles bursting from under their gleaming coats. One deep chestnut catches Yuuri’s eye.

“Which is the best?” Victor asks.

“That would be Lohengrin.” Min-soo points to the chestnut.

“How’s his endurance?”

“He’s incredibly comfortable on a six kilometer course.”

“And dressage?”

“Flawless execution, only the slightest command needed.”

“And over jumps?”

“Would you like to see?”

Victor turns to Yuuri. “Care to try him out?”

“Alright,” he begrudgingly obliges. He’s only doing this for Victor and it doesn’t hurt to try. Besides, Yuuri and Lohengrin might have the connection he’s been looking for.

He puts on his gear while the horse is tacked up, taking time to walk the jumps and check for distance. When Lohengrin’s reins are handed to him, Yuuri blows in the horse’s nose. The gelding shakes his head in confusion before blowing back. Yuuri grins, petting the horse’s neck before hoisting himself into the saddle.

Lohengrin moves without hardly needing to be told to and stands still at the slightest tug of reins against his mouth. His gaits are smooth and quick, yet still controlled and purposeful. There’s a hint of wrongness that Yuuri can’t quite put his finger on.

The rider sends Lohengrin around the ring a few times before pointing the horse at a jump. His strides shorten just before takeoff, building up energy, and releasing it as he propels them both over the fence.

That’s when Yuuri gets it: Lohengrin is another machine. There’s no mind, just a creature set to autopilot. Yuuri could be completely off balance and it wouldn’t matter; Lohengrin would finish the course anyway. The rider sighs, pulling the horse up before he can jump again.

Lohengrin stops short and rears, forcing Yuuri to lean forward and grab the gelding’s mane. His feet fall from their stirrups and when the horse lands back on all fours, he starts bucking.

People believe that when something bad happens, it happens in slow motion. This is not true. Everything stays at the gentle pace of time moving forward, it is simply perspective that changes. When your heart begins to beat faster and fear takes you over and the world begins to spin, you believe time has slowed. In reality, Yuuri gets bucked off, falls, and lands hard on his ankle in a matter of seconds.


	8. Death of a Bachelor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What has been going on between him and Victor? He’s been getting much too comfortable with touching and… being touched. Yuuri’s moods have come to depend on the other rider being around and if he goes without seeing Victor, Yuuri can’t find it in himself to be happy.  
> What does that mean?! He’s wanted to kiss Victor since forever, but does the eventer feel the same way about him? Is he in love? Could they… could they be dating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my best friend hates me because of the last chapter. No joke, she called me a 'cold hearted horse whore.' It's my favorite thing anyone has ever called me.  
> Hope this chapter makes up for it!  
> P.S. Classes officially start for me tomorrow so I will be busy but I'm gonna be writing as much as I can in my free time. Please be patient and hopefully I'll have a schedule down by the time the next chapter goes up.  
> P.P.S. I hate to sound like I'm begging, but if you can spare a second, would you leave a comment to let me know if you liked the chapter and what you liked about it? I love reading them and the comments have seemingly dwindled since the first few chapters. They really motivate me to keep writing.

All Yuuri can feel is the pain shooting through his right leg.

His ears are ringing and his vision has begun to go blurry. He’s breathing too hard and his heart is beating too fast. He claws at the clip under his chin, another pair of hands undoing it for him and the helmet is ripped from his head and there’s a voice in his ear.

Yuuri looks up as his vision clears and there’s Victor, his blue eyes dark with a fear he’s never seen in the eventer. His hands cup Yuuri’s face and his mouth moves, but he hardly hears him. When he does, Yuuri wishes he couldn’t.

“Yuuri! Yuuri, are you okay?” Victor halfs screams, his eyes wide and scared. “Talk to me, _please_!”

“I’m fine…” he chokes, regretting the words as they cause Victor to grab him hard in a hug that rips pain through his entirety.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” the eventer mumbles into Yuuri’s shoulder.

The rider looks around to find himself still in the dirt, Min-soo taking Lohengrin away and Minako nowhere to be found.

“Victor, listen to me,” Yuuri says, surprisingly calm. “Go get Minako-sensei. I think I hurt my ankle.”

“She-she’s getting the truck,” Victor takes deep breaths against Yuuri’s skin. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

“Victor, relax.” Yuuri runs his hand through the rider’s hair, trying to keep his voice level. “I need you to take my right boot off, okay?”

Victor pulls away, nodding as he wipes tears from under his reddening eyes. Yuuri holds a firm grip on Victor’s sleeve as the eventer carefully takes off his chap and boot. He hisses through his teeth at the pain a few times, but the boot is off in a matter of seconds and Yuuri helps Victor pull up the jodhpur to look at his ankle.

“Блядь, Yuuri.”

There’s a huge bruise against the outside of his foot which has begun to swell, and his ankle is bent slightly inward. Victor is holding him again and Yuuri doesn’t have it in his mind to comfort the eventer, his eyes transfixed on his leg. It’s impossible to tell if the injury is a sprain or break, and that’s what terrifies him more. If it is a break… he’ll take months to recover and… who knows when he’ll get in the saddle again?

Who knows if Yuuri will ever be able to ride again?

The rumble of an engine announces Minako-sensei’s arrival. She gets out of the car and practically jumps the fence to run to Yuuri and Victor.

“Are you okay?” Minako-sensei asks him, kneeling beside the pair.

“No…” Yuuri answers.

She swears when she sees his leg. “Do you need a hand getting to the car?”

“I got it,” Victor says before Yuuri can respond, taking the other rider into his arms as he stands.

Yuuri yelps as he’s lifted from the ground, wrapping his arms around Victor’s neck. “You don’t need to-”

The eventer ignores him, walking to the gate of the arena. Minako-sensei grabs his equipment before following them. Min-soo reappears as they’re piling into the car, apologizing left and right. Minako-sensei waves her off, promising that they won’t press charges at Yuuri’s insistence.

Victor has Yuuri in his lap, leaving room in the seat between them and Minako-sensei in the driver’s seat for his leg to rest. His instructor runs back and forth between the trailer and the truck, bringing a saddle blanket to prop up his leg and handing a leg wrap to Victor as she gets in the driver’s seat.

“Wrap up his leg,” she orders as she starts the car.

Minako-sensei drives out of the barn and onto the road at breakneck speed, heading to the nearest hospital. Victor leans across Yuuri’s body, wrapping the leg wrap tightly around his ankle. He hisses at the occasional pain to which the eventer gives him a mortified ‘sorry’.

When he’s done, Victor sits up and pulls Yuuri into his arms, staring out the window with blue eyes watering. Yuuri knows exactly what he’s thinking, as the same thoughts are terrorizing his own mind. He presses a hand to Victor’s racing heart and rests his head against his shoulder, hoping to offer some solace. The eventer’s arms tighten around him and a cheek is pressed to the crown of his head. At Yuuri’s cries and grunts, those arms get tighter.

Despite his protests, Victor carries Yuuri from the truck to the ER when Minako-sensei parks at the hospital. The eventer finally agrees to put him down when they get to the front desk and a nurse asks to see the wound. Victor sets Yuuri down in one of the waiting room chairs, sitting in the one beside him and keeping an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

The nurse looks at his ankle once the leg wrap is removed and frowns after a minute. “It might be a sprain, but we’ll need to take x-rays to be certain.”

Yuuri sighs into Victor’s shoulder. It could be a break. There’s a chance that he’s broken his fucking ankle.

The nurse gets him an ice pack and in a few minutes, they’re situated in a small room with a bed, waiting for the x-ray room to be available. Minako-sensei looks over the paperwork and calls the Katsukis and Nishigoris to let them know what’s happened. Yuuri lies back on the bed while Victor sits beside him, running a hand through his still sweaty helmet hair.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri…” Victor’s voice is hardly a whisper.

“This wasn’t your fault,” he insists again. “Why do you keep saying that?”

Victor opens his mouth to respond when the nurse comes in. Yuuri is escorted to the x-ray room, given a crutch to wobble along with and leaves his instructor and friend behind. The nurse situates him in the x-ray room, wrapping something bulky around his chest before leaving.

Sitting alone in a dim room with doctors watching him from a window to his left, Yuuri’s mind is bound to drift. He’s surprised as to where it goes. What has been going on between him and Victor? He’s been getting much too comfortable with touching and… being touched. Yuuri’s moods have come to depend on the other rider being around and if he goes without seeing Victor, Yuuri can’t find it in himself to be happy.

What does that mean?! He’s wanted to kiss Victor since forever, but does the eventer feel the same way about him? Is he in love? Could they… could they be dating?

No, that’s ridiculous. Yuuri dating the world’s most famous bachelor? It’s impossible, and before he has time to question it more, the nurse comes into the room and brings Yuuri back to where Victor and Minako-sensei are waiting.

The eventer is all over him in seconds, virtually carrying Yuuri to the bed and sitting beside him again, asking what the doctors said.

“They didn’t tell me anything,” Yuuri says through clenched teeth, biting his inner cheek until the pain subsides. Victor holds his hand through it. “We won’t know until they process and look over the x-rays.”

“Yuuri.” He looks up and Minako-sensei smiles at him. “Your parents are on their way. I’m gonna watch for them in the waiting room. You gonna be okay?”

“I got him,” Victor assures her.

Minako-sensei nods at him before leaving the room. By that point, Victor is holding Yuuri’s hand up to his lips and is brushing the smooth skin of his cheek over it.

“I’m sorry,” Victor mutters into his palm.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Yuuri asks, cheeks starting to go pink from the touches.

“I insisted that you try another horse.” Victor closes his eyes and warm tears drip onto Yuuri’s fingers. “I made you get in that saddle. Now… you might not ride again for months and it’s my fault and I’m so sorry…”

The eventer is practically bawling, and Yuuri pulls him close with his free arm, wrapping it around Victor’s shoulders and holding him. The other rider cries into his shoulder and Yuuri almost joins him.

He takes a deep breath instead. “Victor, you didn’t spook the horse. If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I pulled too hard on the reins and Lohengrin was ready to go over a jump. He freaked out and it was my mistake.” The eventer’s breath has begun to steady against his skin. “I should have been honest sooner. I hate that it took multiple failures for me to come clean about feeling hopeless. I felt like the decision to get a new horse had been taken from me, but you were so excited about it that I couldn’t bring myself to say no.”

“I’m sorry,” Victor mutters against Yuuri’s skin.

“I forgive you.” He tightens his arm around the other rider. “Just promise me that we’ll do things my way from now on. No more trainers.”

Victor leans up to look Yuuri in the eye. “No more trainers. I promise.”

He smiles at the other rider before his eyes move to their hands. Victor hasn’t let go and their fingers are perfectly slotted together. Yuuri can feel the eventer watching him and his cheeks flush darker.

“Victor…?”

“Hmm?”

“What is this?” Yuuri gestures to their clutched hands.

Victor chuckles. “I’m holding your hand.”

“Yeah, but… why a-and what does it mean?” Yuuri turns his eyes away from the eventer’s smile, nerves taking him over.

“What do you want it to mean?” Victor asks softly. He continues when there’s no response. “That we’re dating?”

Yuuri immediately goes red, refusing to look back at the other rider. “I don’t… I don’t know. There’s too much going on right now, I need…”

“Time to think?”

Yuuri looks up at Victor and nods. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize,” the other rider interrupts. “I’m happy to wait for you. It's alright it you're not ready.”

Yuuri smiles, his heart skipping a delicate beat. He moves over in the bed so Victor can lie down next to him. The eventer throws an arm over Yuuri’s chest and presses a soft kiss to his forehead before cuddling into his side.

They don’t get five minutes alone before Minako-sensei barges in with Yuuri’s parents in tow, Mari pushing past them to run to her brother’s side. After insisting that he’s alright (‘no, I don’t want a foot massage’ ‘no, I’m not gonna die’), they all relax and sit around him, Victor moving to the corner so that Yuuri can talk to his family. A minute later, the nurse comes back into the room with a doctor.

“Katsuki Yuuri?” The doctor looks to him.

“Yes?”

“You’ve just got a sprain, nothing too severe,” she smiles. “You should be back on your feet within a few weeks.”

Yuuri releases a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, finally relaxing after hours of worry. The nurse puts his ankle into a brace while the doctor talks to his parents about what they should do to help his recovery; start with resting and elevating the leg, ice it every few hours to help with the swelling. She explains exercises Yuuri should do when he can walk with little pain and they decide on a date he should come back in to get another x-ray before he can start doing more intense workouts and sports.

They all walk out together a little later with prescribed medication and Yuuri hobbling along on his crutch. Victor slows his pace down so he can walk alongside the injured rider. Minako-sensei and the eventer help him into the truck while his family gets into the other car. Yuuri sits at the window, not caring to look outside. Instead, he leans his head into the crook of Victor’s shoulder and closes his eyes. An arm wraps around his waist and lips press to the crown of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Блядь - 'fuck' in Russian  
> Leg wrap - this goes around the lower leg and gives the horse extra warmth and support


	9. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri needs to talk to Phichit-kun about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!  
> Thank you all for being patient with me. The first week of college has been crazy. I had to change my schedule twice and my roommate's bed got lofted last night, so we were rearranging the whole room and it's been really stressful.  
> I'm going to aim to get new chapters out on Mondays and Fridays, but I need to know if you guys want the story to continue. I'm getting a lot of hits, but that doesn't give me the reception I need. Please leave a comment and let me know if you want this fic to continue.  
> Love you all and I hope you enjoy!  
> P.S. I need the comments for emotional support.

Yuuri’s ankle takes five weeks to fully heal.

The first two are the hardest as he has to constantly be elevating and icing his leg and it’s so boooooooooring. He hates how his family waits on him and wishes he could help. He misses riding within two hours of the first day, staring out the window of his room as horses go back and forth between the barn and arenas, wishing he were the one getting into the saddle instead of the students.

Victor spends as much time with Yuuri as he can, and he’s thankful for the company. Whenever the eventer doesn’t need to be taking care of Makkachin, he’s with Yuuri in the dining room or living room or his bedroom. They watch and rewatch Victor’s winning dressage routines and jumping courses. They play card games, betting secrets instead of money when they play poker. That day ended with Yuuri being told every single one of Victor’s kinks and uncomfortable childhood memories while he laughed his ass off.

The third week is when things become more bearable. He can walk fairly comfortably without the crutch as long as the brace is on. The swelling has disappeared and the bruising is almost gone. Mama Katsuki walks Yuuri through the exercises the doctor showed her, which consist of mostly flexing his ankle up, down, and side to side slowly. He’s allowed back in the barn under Victor and Mari’s strict supervision. Niki is happy to see him, nibbling his hair and nickering at his hugs. Yuuri still isn’t allowed to ride, but being around the horses takes an edge off missing it.

At the end of that third week, Yuuri is limping to the dining room for dinner when he hears his name said from down the hall. He inches forward until he’s within listening distance and freezes against the wall.

“I’m just wondering how he expects to find a champion if we don’t go to a breeder.”

That’s Victor. Is he really…?

“There are plenty of other places to look, Vicchan,” Mama Katsuki assures him, no doubt smiling at the man who has become like her adopted son.

“I’m more worried about how he’s going to break into the competitions,” Minako-sensei adds, her voice slightly slurred. “He go right to an Olympic level competition with a new horse, can he? Also, how would he register?”

“I can take care of the registrar,” Victor promises her. “Are there any Events in Japan?”

“There are the Nationals, but that’s not a CCI**** level competition,” Yuuko explains. “The only one in this part of the world is the Eastern Grand Prix.”

“There are the World Equestrian Games, but those just passed and won’t come back for another four years.” Minako-sensei sighs. “Victor, that can’t be good for the horse or for Yuuri. If they don’t develop a connection in time, how do you expect them to be ready to compete in half a year?”

Yuuri’s heart jumps into his throat. Half a year to train with a new horse for an Event? Is that even possible?

Victor’s voice is calm when he speaks again. “I have faith in Yuuri and the horse he chooses. He has an incredible… something, and it’s nothing like anything I’ve seen before. He can do it.”

Yuuri hobbles back to his room before listening to the continuing conversation makes him vomit in the hallway. He practically slams the door behind him and face plants into his pillows.

Is Victor crazy?! It took Yuuri and Vicchan half a year to build the connection they needed, no way is he ever gonna connect  _ and  _ train with a horse in that same amount of time. It would take a miracle, the same kind of miracle that caused Victor to fly halfway across the world to come to a small horse farm just to rest his horse in peace… is it all that crazy?

Fucking Victor Nikiforov… what is he  _ doing _ to him?

The eventer became much more clingy than he was before Yuuri’s accident, and surprisingly… Yuuri did too. He found himself, almost absentmindedly, reaching for Victor’s hands or leaning against him when they sit at the dining table or cuddling against him when Yuuri begs him to stay at night. He’s never been a physical person, rarely even hugging his friends and family. With Victor… it’s different and he knows  _ why _ it’s different and it  _ terrifies _ him.

When Yuuri asked him about dating in the ER, Victor had said he’d wait for him to be ready. He didn’t say that he wasn’t interested or told him off because he wasn’t into guys, the seven year world champion  _ wants to date him _ .

Yuuri needs to talk to Phichit-kun about this.

He pulls out his laptop and calls his best friend on Skype. Phichit-kun answers almost immediately.

“Yuuri!!” His best friends smiles through the screen. “How are you?”

“Fine.” Yuuri can’t help but smile. “My ankle’s much better.”

“That’s great!” Phichit’s impossibly wide smile grows. “How’s living with the eventing champion?”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Yuuri recalls the night in the ER to his best friend, what Victor said to him, and what’s been happening since. When he stops, Phichit’s mouth hangs open.

His next words are a virtual scream through Yuuri’s speakers. “I  _ told  _ you that you could woo him with your charms!!!”

“I didn’t woo him with anything!” Yuuri yells back, his voice going quiet when he speaks again. “We just spent a lot of time together and he went from being this god in my mind to an actual person… an amazing person who I can hardly bear go an hour without seeing and his eyes have become my favorite color and I love his laugh more than anything in the world and Phichit, what’s happening to me?”

His best friend is grinning like an idiot. “You’re in love with him!”

“ _ No _ ! I can’t…” Yuuri thinks, he thinks hard and he finds nothing to disprove Phichit’s words. It’s been six months since Victor arrived in May. Is it possible to fall in love that fast?

A knock on the door pulls Yuuri out of his thoughts. “Who is it?”

“Who do you think?”

Shit.

“Phichit, I have to go. We’ll talk later.”

His best friend makes a face. “Fine, but if you don’t kiss him within the next month, you owe me  _ big time. _ ”

“Good _ bye,  _ Phichit,” Yuuri hangs up and tucks his computer under his bed, going to the door to let Victor in. The eventer is characteristically in only his boxers and uncharacteristically without a smile.

Victor sits next to him on his bed when the door closes and presents a handful of nail polish bottles.

Yuuri stares at them. “Did you steal those from Mari?”

“They were in the bathroom,” Victor grins slyly. “It doesn’t count as stealing if they were in a communal place. Which color do you want?”

Yuuri chooses a deep, sparkly blue and the eventer shakes out the bottle before beginning to apply the color to his right hand.

“I take it you heard us,” Victor says without looking up from his work.

Yuuri chuckles. “Is it  _ that  _ obvious?”

“I could hear your brace on the floorboards.” Victor laughs along with him. “We shouldn’t have been talking about that stuff without you.”

“It’s fine,” Yuuri shrugs. “I understand why you did. You’re all concerned.”

“Hmm.” Victor blows across his fingers when he finishes his right hand. “Don’t touch anything, they’re still wet.” The eventer moves onto his left hand as Yuuri rests his right on his knee.

“How do you expect for me to find a horse, train, and be ready to compete within six months?” Yuuri asks outright.

“Getting right to the point, hmm?” Victor sighs lightly. “A horse’s capabilities are the least of my worries. As long as they are trained in eventing, I’m not worried about it. My concern is with your connection with the horse.”

“And if we can’t connect in time for the Nationals?”

Victor looks up at him. “Do you want to compete in the Nationals?”

Yuuri nods. “Yes, I do.”

“Good. If you can’t connect,” Victor shrugs. “You keep working and aim for the next competition.”

“If we _do_ do well in the Nationals… do you think we could win the FEI Classics?”

Victor smiles, finishing the final nail on his left hand. “Absolutely.”

The eventer begins a second coating. “So, if we’re not going to breeders, where shall we find your champion horse?”

Yuuri blushes softly. “There are auctions held in the area every few months. The horses there are often sold as meat or to glue factories. That’s where we get most of the school horses and it’s where I found Vicchan.”

“Do you know when the next one is?” Victor starts applying the second coat to his left hand.

Yuuri thinks. “In a few weeks, three or four?”

“You’ll be all healed up by then, it’s perfect timing.” Victor finishes with a flourish and presents Yuuri’s glittering nails. “Let’s go find you a horse.”

Yuuri and Victor spend the rest of the night talking, the younger painting the eventer’s fingernails a silky black before they move on to their toes; Yuuri’s a bright blue and Victor’s a shimmering pink. They sleep together that night, the eventer lying across the other rider’s chest and nuzzling into his collarbone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CCI**** - the highest level of Eventing in competitions, reserved for the Olympics and a few other choice competitions


	10. In Regards to Love: Eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They all have fantastic conformation,” Victor observes. “See one you like?”  
> He does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am DYING because Saferion, an amazing artist with the cutest pony, posted about my fic on her Tumblr and is gonna do art of the fic!!!! SENPAI NOTICED ME!!!! She's already sketched it and I'm SO EXCITED!!!  
> I have no choice but to continue. Enjoy the chapter!

Yuuri, Minako-sensei, and Victor are packed into the truck when they pull into a farm driveway on the day of the auction.

There are several dozen trucks and horse trailers, mostly singles or doubles with a few larger ones scattered between. Minako-sensei parks the car and they all get out, Victor helping Yuuri despite the doctor deeming him completely healed a few days ago.

The barn itself isn’t anything magnificent, honestly it’s a bit run down. However, the space is something to marvel at. Even with dozens of temporary pens and paddocks set up, the open field surrounding the grounds is still left mostly clear.

The trio walks through the pens, looking around and weaving their way through the bustle of people making deals and horses being taken away by their new owners. Yuuri looks, but none of the creatures stand out to him.

In many of the pens, horses are stuffed to the brim inside. They’re often sold in mass to factories and it breaks Yuuri’s heart that they can’t bring every single one back to Yu-topia. A large portion go to good homes, but the guilt always follows him around the grounds.

“Come on, Yuuri.” Minako-sensei wraps an arm around him, leading him away from the largest pen of disheveled animals. “Let’s check out the smaller paddocks over here.”

He feels a warmth in his hand and turns to find Victor linking their fingers together. Yuuri smiles at the eventer’s apologetic face, giving his hand a thankful squeeze.

“Check out the thoroughbreds,” Minako-sensei points to a small pen of three horses prancing around inside. “Excuse me!” She calls to the man standing at the fence. “Are these eventing horses?”

“Absolutely,” the man responds. “Care to take a look?”

Minako-sensei begins talking to him about the level of training the horses have and why the man is here today while Victor and Yuuri lean against the fence, watching the horses move around inside.

“They all have fantastic conformation,” Victor observes. “See one you like?”

He does. Yuuri’s eyes are immediately drawn to the mare amidst stallions who are vying for her attention. She trots away from them, biting at them when they get close and trying to eat at the pile of hay in the pen in peace. She’s completely black, coat glimmering midnight under the morning sunlight, with a white exclamation mark down the front of her face. She’s beautiful and powerful and Yuuri immediately wants to ride her.

“That black one,” Yuuri points to the mare. “Is she yours?”

The man sighs. “Unfortunately. She’s the most stubborn horse I’ve ever had. She’s a great horse physically. She’s fantastic at dressage and is the best jumper you’ll ever see, but she hardly lets any of my men near her.”

“Can I ride her?”

Victor shoots him a terrified look while the man laughs. “If you can get a saddle on her, I’ll _give_ her to you.”

“I don’t need a saddle,” Yuuri says.

A hand grabs his arm and he’s forced to look into Victor’s dark blue eyes. “ _Yu_ -uri, are you insane? You just recovered and now you want to get on a dangerous animal without a saddle?!”

“Every horse is dangerous,” Yuuri’s voice is surprisingly calm. “She’s no more deadly than Makkachin.”

Victor opens his mouth and says nothing. His lips forms a solid line as he sighs. “Please, just be careful.”

Yuuri presses his forehead to the eventer’s, forcing those turquoise eyes to look right in his. “I will be. Promise.”

The mare’s owner brings her out from the paddock with a little difficulty, handing the lead rope to Yuuri when he’s clicked his helmet in place. She shies away from his reach when he holds his hand out, hooves dancing in place and head thrown back. Yuuri loosens his hold on the rope and steps back, letting her calm down before trying to touch her again.

The mare sniffs at his fingers before blowing into his face. Yuuri blows back and she cocks her head at the gesture, getting a giggle from him. Yuuri rubs up and down the exclamation mark on her face and she leans into his touch when he scratches her forelock.

“Well I’ll be…” her owner says from behind Yuuri.

Minako-sensei gives him a leg up, and Yuuri settles right behind the mare’s withers. The muscles of her shoulders and barrel seem to be perfectly molded just for his legs. She stiffens and shifts on her hooves, but a quick scratch up and down her neck gets her to relax once more.

The mare responds to the press of Yuuri’s calf, turning and trotting to begin going around the outside of the paddock she was just stuck in. She tosses her head happily, relaxing her gait. Yuuri hardly has to hold on, his seat naturally keeping his balance as she moves under him, almost like their balance is set to the same axis. The mare picks up a canter at the slightest press of his heels, this gait infinitely smoother.

Yuuri can see Minako-sensei talking to the mare’s owner as they go around again, and, out of the corner of his eye, sees Victor watching intently. There’s a part of him that wants to impress the eventer, to prove himself worthy of his affection. This part of him makes his body tense up, his mind going wild to check every part of his form. The mare responds to his tension, tossing her head and dancing sideways before Yuuri gets her back on track.

Yuuri shakes his head clear, trying to relax himself once more. He slows the mare to a walk, petting her shoulder as her head hangs low.

This is not for Victor. This has never been for Victor. This is for Yuuri. He’s here to find a horse for _himself_ to continue a career _he_ wants to do. Victor will be impressed by the bond he makes with this horse and what they will accomplish together. What happens in the saddle is all for Yuuri.

With a press of his heel, the mare turns towards the open field and in an instant, leaps into a gallop. The perfect shape of their bodies keeps Yuuri on her back as she eats up the ground underneath her. His hands twist in her mane and the wind whips his face and Yuuri has never felt so _alive._ He tosses his head back and whoops into the air, to which the mare whinnies in response.

There’s a pang in his entire being, but it’s not one of grief. It’s joy. Pure, unadulterated joy, something he thought he’d never feel again.

When the mare comes to a halt in front of her owner and Yuuri’s companions, he’s leaning over her neck, smiling and heaving. She’s hardly broken a sweat.

“Yuuri!” Minako-sensei is almost in tears. “She’s incredible!”

“She is,” Yuuri says between gulps of air.

“How much for her?”

The mare’s owner turns to Victor’s grinning face. Yuuri nearly bursts into his own tears at those words. He hardly moves as they work out a price and Victor gives him the cash right then and there.

The eventer turns to Yuuri, still sitting on the mare’s back. “Are you gonna ride her back to Yu-topia?”

Minako-sensei holds the mare as he dismounts and falls right into Victor’s arms, hugging him close. “Thank you, Vitya.”

The other rider’s arms tighten around him. “Anything for you, моя любовь.”

“Be good to her,” the mare’s ex-owner says to them as he pets her one last time.

“I will,” Yuuri takes her leadrope, happily accepting her nuzzles. “Oh, I never asked; what’s her name?”

“She was ‘Aphrodite’s Child’ as a racer,” he explains. “So, we just call her ‘Eros.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forelock - the 'bangs' of a horse's mane that falls over their face between their ears  
> моя любовь - 'my love' in Russian  
> P.S. Thanks to rayningnight for the name idea ;)


	11. I Write Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri looks to the diagonal line as Eros canters around the turn of the arena. Her huffed breath and his heaves exhale at the same time, Yuuri’s hips moving easily with the rock of her body. She turns, he counts, and they jump the two fences together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is a very special day. It's my best friend's birthday!! Just for her, I'm going to post two chapters today. The other will go up this afternoon.  
> Saferion has done two pieces already! I can't wait to see them (in literally two minutes) and show them to you guys! I couldn't stop writing this chapter the other night and put off homework to do so. I hope you enjoy!  
> P.S. I LOVE YOU, SAVANNAH!  
> P.P.S. I've decided that schedules are overrated, so I'm just gonna post chapters when they're ready.

“Come on, girl,” Yuuri coos. “You’re okay.”

Eros snorts into his open palm and lets him rub the exclamation mark on her face. The boarding barn was finished a few weeks ago and they finally set everything up inside. Yuuko’s palomino and Makkachin have settled into their new stalls and now, just a few hours after buying her, Yuuri is trying to get Eros into her new home. Unfortunately, she doesn’t want to.

“If I give you a peppermint, will you come in?” Yuuri puts a hand in his pocket and crinkles the wrapper there.

Eros perks her ears, but doesn’t make a move. Yuuri huffs from the other side of the threshold to her stall. She sniffles at his fingers and he scratches her muzzle. “Do you wanna go one step at a time?”

If Yuuri believed that horses could understand humans, he’d swear that Eros nodded at his question. His views on that change instantly when the mare steps forward once into the stall. Makkachin nickers at her from the stall next door when she takes another step inside. She cocks her head and timidly nickers back.

A chuckle sounds from behind them. “Do you need help?”

Yuuri turns to meet Vitor’s sapphire eyes. “I’m just trying to be patient with her.”

He gives Eros a nudge and she steps back out of the stall. He groans. Victor giggles beautifully.

Yuuri holds out her lead rope. “Will you hold her for a minute?”

“Of course.” Victor takes it from him and Yuuri steps into the stall.

“Eros,” he calls and she looks up at him. He walks around the space. “See this? This place is safe. It’s your new home.” She cocks her head as he kneels in the wood shavings. “It’s all made up, just for you. You wanna come in?”

Eros takes a tentative few steps inside, her back hooves still over the threshold. Yuuri holds out some of the wood shavings for her to sniff at. “See? It’s safe.”

With that, Eros takes the last few steps into the stall and sticks her face between Yuuri’s arms. He giggles and wraps them around her. “Good girl!” She pushes into his chest and he almost falls over. “I know, it’s okay.”

“Wow,” Victor says from outside the stall. “She really likes you.”

Yuuri smirks at the eventer. “Jealous, Nikiforov?”

Victor makes a face at him and Yuuri bursts into laughter. He puts Eros’s new sheet on her, having to prop his shoulder under her neck to do the front clasps so she’ll stop trying to nibble at him. Once she’s settled, Victor heads out to work Makkachin and Yuuri begins on his chores.

He isn’t halfway out of the boarding barn when a sad nicker sounds from behind him. Yuuri turns and finds Eros with her head poked out over her stall door, her hoof banging on it from inside. He walks back to her, taking her muzzle into his hands.

“Are you okay, girl?” He pets her soft skin. She blows into his palms. “I can’t stay here all day, I have things to do.” Eros snorts at him. “I know. I’ll be back soon.”

In the main barn, Yuuri starts mucking out stalls. He’s halfway through doing Niki’s when Minako-sensei screams his name. He runs to the indoor arena.

“Yes, sensei?” Yuuri asks when he sees her standing at the fence.

“Will you deal with that mare of yours?!” She snaps. “She’s been crying for an hour, my students can hardly hear me!”

As if by magic, the horrifying shrieks of a horse start up when Minako-sensei finishes. She grumbles, taking her head into her hands. “Will you deal with that mare?!”

“But my chores-”

“Mari will finish them, just get her to  _ shut up _ !”

Not interested in getting even more on his sensei’s bad side, Yuuri runs to the boarding barn. The second he steps inside, the shrieks turn into nickers. Eros tosses her head happily at him.

“Girl, you can’t keep doing that,” Yuuri says when he succumbs to petting her. “Minako-sensei is gonna chop you up herself if you keep disrupting her lessons.” She licks his palm. “Would you feel better if we went for a ride?”

One again, as if she understands, Eros nods her head in response.

Yuuri gets her newly bought tack and brushes, setting them outside her stall and bringing each piece in one at a time. They spent almost two hours in the tack shop, Yuuri feeling guilty about leaving his new horse in the trailer for so long. Eros doesn’t complain or fidget as he brushes her and picks out her dirty hooves. It takes a little persuasion for her to lift the first one, but she complies easily afterwards. The fresh saddle blankets are no problem and the sleek leather of the new saddle matches her coat perfectly.

When Eros is all tacked up, Yuuri puts on his helmet and leads her out into the yard. Down past the paddocks, Victor jumps Makkachin in the outdoor arena. The jumps are only about a meter tall, smaller than what they’d be in a CCI**** level competition, but Yuuri and Eros don’t have to worry about jumps that big now.

He leads her down the path and waves at Victor when they reach the arena. “Can we join you?”

“Absolutely!” Victor calls back.

He halts the liver chestnut near the mounting block, watching as Yuuri gets into the saddle and Eros shakes out her neck. “Good?”

Yuuri sighs blissfully. “Perfect.”

Victor keeps going over jumps while Yuuri warms Eros up on the flat. Is it possible to be amazed by someone twice in the same day? Victor halts Makkachin as Yuuri points Eros towards a jump, counting her strides, keeping his eyes up and leg on, and one, two, three they leap the fence as a single force, propelled over the half meter fence by the power in Eros’s body. She lands and canters away smoothly.

Yuuri can’t find it in himself to stop, adrenaline keeping his leg on and turning his head towards the vertical on the diagonal. Eros turns around the press of his calf with ease and a few fearless strides later, lands on the other side of the fence. Another smooth turn as them pointed at the outside line. Eros’s stride extend to a near gallop, Yuuri forced to pull her back.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Yuuri mutters at each of her strides until Eros leaps the first jump with a more collected canter. Three strides later, they take off over the other fence.

Yuuri looks to the diagonal line as Eros canters around the turn of the arena. Her huffed breath and his heaves exhale at the same time, Yuuri’s hips moving easily with the rock of her body. She turns, he counts, and they jump the two fences together. Yuuri lets her canter around the short end of the arena, slowing her to a trot and then a halt on the long side.

Eros breathes heavily with her head bent, Yuuri leaning over her neck. The adrenaline coursing through him has hardly brought down his high before a voice calls his name. He looks up and Makkachin gallops towards him, Victor grinning from his back. Yuuri turns Eros towards him, smiling and spreading his arms.

“Did you see that? We were great, right?!”

Makkachin slides to a stop next to them, and Victor’s arms are suddenly around him. His hand slides into Yuuri’s hair, and before he can understand what’s happening, Victor’s lips are pressed against his.

The kiss is soft and quick but sends another rush through him, heat overtaking every molecule in his body. When Victor pulls back, the eventer is smiling wider than before.

“That was the only thing I could think of-” his cheeks go pink. “-to amaze you more than you’ve amazed me.”

Yuuri’s gaping mouth turns up into a smile. “Well, it worked.”

And Yuuri returns the favor.

He’s dreamt about doing this since he was a teenager, but he’s not prepared for what it’s actually like. The other rider’s lips are impossibly soft, if a little chapped. He tastes like sweet and salt and dust, and it’s the most delicious thing Yuuri has ever tasted.

He’s twisting his fingers into Victor’s hair, something infinitely softer than he ever imagined. Those arms tighten around him and he has no idea what he’s doing, but Victor does and he just goes with it, following the other rider’s lead and relishing in the sounds Yuuri pulls from his throat.

The sad sigh he makes when Victor pulls away gets the other rider to chuckle, the warm breath curling against Yuuri’s skin. “You’re amazing.”

The sentiment has Yuuri giggling and burying his nose into Victor’s chest. A whinny forces them apart. Makkachin is nuzzling at Eros’s neck who returns the favor. The riders laugh at their horses, forcing them away and going back to their exercise. None of them notice the three small figures running back towards the barn, giggling with phones in hand.

 

Dinner that night is surprisingly silent. Mama Katuski made katsudon, seemingly for Eros’s arrival. She and Yuuri are the only ones talking, going back and forth about his horse who she instantly loves. A single break in the conversation is when Mari decides to strike.

“Are you two dating?”

Yuuri nearly chokes on his mouthful of rice, Victor’s face going shocked.

Mama Katsuki immediately scolds her daughter. “You can’t just ask that of your brother and our guest, it’s rude.”

“They were making out in the arena!” Minako-sensei defends her. “It’s all over the internet.”

And that’s when Yuuri dies. He stands, leaving his food and muttering about closing up the barn, and leaves to Victor shouting his name. Yuuri checks each of the school horses, putting sheets on the neglected ones. He ends up in the boarding barn, Eros immediately reaching out to him from her stall.

“Hi, girl.” Yuuri rubs up and down the exclamation mark on her face. “Mind if I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go back to the house.”

Eros takes a step back as he opens the stall door and cocks her head when he sits on the ground. It takes her a second, but she settles onto the floor next to him, happily sighing when Yuuri leans against her.

“Humans suck.” He laughs when Eros snorts in almost disgusted agreement. He brushes his fingers over his lips, the ghostly feeling of Victor mouth still haunting him. “Can’t I just enjoy something without everyone around me asking a million questions?”

“Welcome to my life.”

Yuuri looks up to see Victor standing on the other side of the stall door. He smiles. “Is it always this exhausting?”

“Unfortunately, yes, but you get used to it.” Victor holds up a blanket and thermos. “Mind if I come in? I figured you’d like some company.”

Victor settles beside him and tosses the blanket over him and Yuuri, opening up the thermos and giving the stall a chocolatey scent.

“You made hot chocolate?” Yuuri can’t hold back his grin as Victor pours the drink into the lid-cup. “Are you trying to be romantic?”

“If this is a first date, then yes.” Victor hands the lid-cup to him.

“ _ Are _ we dating?” Yuuri asks timidly.

Victor looks him in the eye. “Do you want to be?”

Clutching the cup close and peering at the other rider through his lashes, Yuuri nods.

Victor’s smile widens. “Good.” He takes the cup out of Yuuri’s hand and leans close. “So do I.”

When Victor kisses him, Yuuri’s entire body gets set on fire. It’s not an unbearable blaze or slow rising heat, but the warmth of coals left in a fireplace that warms his face and tingles down his neck and chest. He tastes different from this afternoon, cleaner and less sweaty, but just as sweet.

There’s a hand on the back of Yuuri’s neck, tilting his head back and deepening the kiss. Something tugs at his hair and a delicate moan escapes him until that something licks the back of his head. He pulls away and turns to find Eros’s muzzle inches from his face.

“Eros!” Yuuri scolds while Victor giggles. “Can I kiss my boyfriend without you butting in?”

He looks back at Victor who smiles at him like an idiot. “What?”

“You called me your boyfriend!” Victor throws his arms around Yuuri, burying his nose into his neck. “I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

“ _I_ should be the amazed one,” Yuuri chuckles. “ _ I’m _ the one dating a seven year eventing world champion.”

“But _ I’m _ dating Katsuki Yuuri,” Victor says against his skin. “The kindest, most wonderful person I’ve ever met.”

“Stop!” Yuuri blushes deeply. “This is almost as embarrassing as dinner.”

“Wait until you see your phone.”

“Oh, God.” Yuuri forgot about that. “How bad is it?”

“I had a million notifications and several dozen texts and phone calls,” VIctor explains. “The picture was nice, though.” He chuckles. “You were blushing.”

“You kissed me, of course I was blushing!” Yuuri huffs a laugh, running a hands through his hair. “This is my life now.”

“Mhmm. Do you like it?”

Yuuri presses his hands to Victor’s shoulders and pushes him upright so he can look him in the eye. “I _love_ it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sheet - a thinner version of a horse's blanket used for chilly but not terribly cold weather


	12. Only Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The view of Hasetsu is beautiful as ever, the water rippling every color imaginable under the setting sunlight. Yuuri dismounts, keeping his hold on Eros’s reins and leads her over to Vicchan’s shrine. He kneels in front of it and Eros lowers her head, almost as if she’s paying respects as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, SAVANNAH!! I love you so much! Thank you for being a driving force for the continuation of this fic and my life. This one's for you.

 

“Victor, will you go somewhere with me today?”

He looks up to where Yuuri is leaning on Makkachin’s stall door. “Of course,” he responds from inside.

“I’ll finish up my chores and then we can go.” Yuuri accepts the quick peck from his boyfriend. “Have Makkachin and Eros tacked up when I get back.”

“You know she doesn’t like me!” Victor calls after him when Yuuri’s left the boarding barn. He chuckles to himself as he makes his way to the main stable.

It’s been a week since Eros came to Yu-topia, since Victor became his boyfriend, and Yuuri couldn’t be happier. They’ve been riding together every day--Victor constantly trying to kiss him while they’re trotting or cantering and nearly falling off--and spending almost all of their free time together, never to any complaint from Yuuri.

There’s something so surreal about the whole thing. Maybe it’s constantly being touched and held and kissed. Maybe it’s the onslaught of notifications that’ve been forcing him to keep his phone in his room all day or the reason for those notifications; Victor constantly taking pictures, posting them to Instagram, and tagging Yuuri in them. There are several of Victor surprising him or that were taken without Yuuri’s knowledge. A lot are kissy photos with Yuuri bright red in all of them as Victor kisses his cheek or his lips. Those are the most popular ones.

He’s been getting a never ending stream of texts and voicemails from Phichit-kun congratulating him and asking a million questions, if they’ve had sex yet being the most often despite the fact his best friend knows Yuuri is ace-spec. He and Victor have had to lock the door to keep the triplets out of their shared room because they’ve snuck in thrice to take pictures of them sleeping together. Minako-sensei and Mari are constantly teasing him, and Mama Katsuki is the only one who seems to be respecting their relationship. She absolutely adores Victor, and Yuuri’s caught her smiling at them a few times.

Despite all the hassle trying to avoid his entire family to enjoy time alone with his boyfriend, Yuuri is still happier than he’s been in almost a year. Victor went from a seven year world eventing champion, god in Yuuri’s eyes to Victor, the man with sweet kisses who always hogs the blankets in bed and never fails to make him smile every day.

Maybe Phichit was right; maybe he _is_ in love.

Yuuri checks the bulletin board and tacks up the horses being used for the next lesson and gives hay to the horses who have run low. When he gets back the the boarding barn, Victor has been cornered by Eros in her stall, her blankets crooked and girth hanging from one side of the saddle. Yuuri can’t help but laugh when he sees Victor’s terrified face.

“ _Yu_ -uri!” the other rider whines. “Help me!”

“Eros,” he calls when he enters her stall. “Leave Vitya alone.”

The mare nuzzles his hands, giving Victor enough space to slip out. “I t _old_ you she doesn’t like me.”

“I thought you guys could use the bonding time,” Yuuri responds as he fixes her saddle. “Makkachin and I get along fine.”

“Makkachin isn’t a sociopath,” Victor mutters.

Yuuri kisses his cheek and the frown on the rider’s face disappears.

They mount their horses at the opening to the trails and pick up a steady trot, Yuuri in front and Victor following close behind. They’re silent, Victor probably relaxing at the comfort of the forest around them while Yuuri tenses the deeper into the trails they get. His heart pumps faster when they reach the hill and he turns Eros up it, hearing Victor’s shock behind him.

They enter the overlook and a weight immediately settles onto Yuuri’s shoulders. The view of Hasetsu is beautiful as ever, the water rippling every color imaginable under the setting sunlight. Yuuri dismounts, keeping his hold on Eros’s reins and leads her over to Vicchan’s shrine. He kneels in front of it and Eros lowers her head, almost as if she’s paying respects as well.

Victor kneels next to him, Makkachin off grazing somewhere else in the clearing. Yuuri accepts the hand that takes his, lacing their fingers together and trying to draw strength from the warm skin pressed to his palm.

“Hi, Vicchan,” Yuuri begins. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. We’ve been… busy.”

He trails off, not sure how to continue or say what he wants to. There are tears prickling in his eyes and he sniffles. Victor draws him closer, letting him snuggle into his shoulder.

“Take your time,” is said into his hair with a kiss. Warm skin presses to his open cheek and Yuuri scratches under Eros’s chin, thanking her.

He straightens and turns to the shrine once more. “I have someone I want you to meet.” Yuuri tugs on Eros’s reins slightly and the mare steps forward, lowering her head back down to his level. “This is Eros. She’s my new horse. We’ll be competing together.” He swallows. “She’s not your replacement. Well, she kinda is, but… I’m moving on, Vicchan. I can’t be mourning over you forever.” His fingers reach out and brush over the picture set in the shrine. “I’m never going to forget you or stop loving you, but moving past your passing is something I need--and am ready--to do.”

Yuuri hangs his head and allows himself to weep, a familiar tug at his hair letting him know Eros is concerned. Victor’s thumb moves up and down his skin patiently. When he looks up at the other rider, those sweet lips are immediately on his face, kissing away his tears.

They’re lying in bed together later that night, Victor leaning against Yuuri’s chest and playing with his hair while the other rider stares at the ceiling.

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?” He turns to look into those beautiful ocean eyes he loves so much.

“How exactly do the Japanese nationals work?” Victor inquires.

“Well, there are three disciplines spanning five days,” Yuuri begins. “Dressage is the first day, show jumping is second, and eventing takes up the final three. It follows similar rules to Australia’s national competitions: the highest level is three stars with jumps at about 1.25 meters. The dressage day of eventing at that level only requires a freestyle routine.”

“How long’s the cross country course?” Victor asks.

“It’s about thirty fences,” Yuuri responds after thinking a moment.

“Would you like help with your dressage routine?”

Yuuri’s eyebrows raise. “You’d help me choreograph it?”

“Of course, silly.” Victor leans up to kiss him. “Do you have music in mind?”

“I have a few things you can listen to,” Yuuri wraps his arm closer around the other rider. “We can pick out which one works best.”

He yawns into the crown of Victor’s head, who chuckles against his head. “Let’s go to sleep. We have a long day of dressage practice ahead.”

Yuuri groans. “I can’t wait.”

Victor giggles, kissing him again and peeling off his glasses. He leaves over and turns out the light.

***

Here are Saferion's first pieces! They're so beautiful and I'm so happy with how they turned out. Go give her lots of love!

 

Eros:

Vicchan:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll are gonna get pissy about Yuuri being ace, I'm gonna explain it here and then you're gonna deal with it, okay?  
> 1) Fuck you, it's my headcanon, you can go suck a dick if you're going to be an asshole about it  
> 2) I'm ace  
> 3) It's uncomfortable for me to write smut as an ace person. By having Yuuri be an ace who's uncomfortable with sex, I don't have to be uncomfortable while writing it  
> 4) Again, fuck you, it's my fic and I can do what I want


	13. Rolling in the Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri’s not good with saying words out loud. He could think up or write down the most eloquent of phrases, but speaking it into existence is another thing entirely. When those words are about love and the fullness of his life the past eight months and he needs to say them to another person, those words catch in his throat and refuse to be put into existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, gays, it is I!!  
> Important news! I've been inspired by watching Saferion to do my very own live streams: writing live streams!! I'll be doing the first one at 3pm eastern standard time this Friday, February 3, 2017. If you wish to watch, I'll be streaming at https://picarto.tv/Emory7Claire.  
> I'll be working on the next two chapters which are not full of spoilers and will be more like this one: focusing on the training with some fluff thrown in. If you follow me on Tumblr (a-l-o-n-e-t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.tumblr.com), I will be posting a link to the stream there. I hope you will join me and enjoy the chapter!

Training Eros takes lots of time and effort. She already knows what to do, but preparing her physically is another thing entirely.

Yuuri spends hours each day on her endurance, sending her around the trails four times at a time, first at a walk then up to fast gaits until she’ll be able to gallop it with ease. They take a break and then begin show jumping. Eros needs to be able to jump multiple fences in under a certain amount of time with the least amount of faults possible. They’ll worry about height later, now it’s about getting over sixteen jumps as quick as they can. They’ve put off the dressage routine for once it gets colder as they have a limited time left in the warmer weather to work on the cross country trails before they freeze over.

This becomes especially evident when they reach the water jumps.

There are two water jumps on the back trails that took them days to build a few years ago. The first is before a short hill that got turned into step jumps, the second is two jumps over a stretch of water; one that starts on land and ends in the water and one in the middle of the water itself. The shallow pools are only about ankle deep, but the second Eros steps into the one before the step jump, she freaks out.

Thankfully Minako-sensei and Victor are both there to calm her down, the latter frantically asking if Yuuri’s okay.

“I’m fine,” he says for the fifth time, scratching under Eros’s mane to help calm her down.

They had finally gotten a warm enough day to try the water jumps and the mare refused it. Yuuri dismounts and tries to lead her into the water, stepping in himself and showing her that it’s okay. Eros takes one sniff and backs away quickly, practically pulling Yuuri over into the dirt.

Back in the boarding barn, Eros untacked and eating from a fresh pile of hay, Minako-sensei, Yuuri, and Victor talk.

“A hesitation I can deal with, but fear of the water?” Minako-sensei sighs. “This is gonna be tough.”

“We can always take her down to the beach,” Yuuri suggests. “Remember when Vicchan had that momentary fear of water jumps? One day in the ocean and he never had another problem.”

“That would be the best thing to try,” Victor agrees. “It’s better to get her adjusted to being in the water than just pointing her at a water jump over and over again until she gives up trying to fight.”

“We’re gonna have to wait for a warmer day,” Minako-sensei says. “I’ll keep my eye on the weather. In the meantime, she should be going over the other jumps. We can skip the water for now.”

The next week is taken up by log jumps, stone fences, and all of the other concoctions Minako-sensei dreamt up for the cross country course years ago. They take a break for Yuuri’s birthday.

He’s woken up by the sunlight on the twenty ninth of November, fingers running through his hair and a soft smile awaiting the opening of his eyes.

“Morning, моя любовь.”

“Victor… why do you have a bow on your head?”

It’s bright red and set right in the middle of the other rider’s forehead. His grin widens. “‘Cause I’m your present today.”

Yuuri groans and covers his eyes with his hands. “Why am I dating you?”

Victor begins peppering kisses over his cheeks. “Because you love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

The other rider giggles against Yuuri’s skin as he persists in his kisses.

“Why do you keep kissing me?” Yuuri leans into the press of lips.

“I need to give you your twenty four birthday kisses,” Victor explains. “I’m almost done, I was at eighteen.”

“You’re too much.”

“I love you too.”

That morning consists of Yuuri’s favorite breakfast, Mari being given his chores, and constant happy nuzzles from Eros. He and Victor take care of their horses and turn them out in the paddock. They lean against the fence and watch the thoroughbreds canter away together, nipping at each other playfully and kicking up their heels.

“Looks like Eros finally likes  _ someone _ other than you,” Victor teases.

“Jealous, Nikiforov?” Yuuri smirks at him.

“Not anymore.” Victor wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close.

Yuuri leans into his side. “Do you miss Russia?”

Victor chuckles. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just curious,” Yuuri shrugs. “You never talk about it.”

“There’s not much to say,” Victor admits. “Every day was the same: wake up, get dressed, train, go home, shower, sleep, and do it all over again unless I was competing. I didn’t really feel like I was living the way I wanted to for a long time.” VIctor’s eyes wander, following Makkachin as he grazes alongside Eros. “Riding used to be for fun. Learning about each new schooling horse and their personalities; that’s what I loved about riding. Competitions were a way for me to show off what I had learned and take pride in it. After seven years of the same routine, the same blue ribbons and trophies… the life and love I had for riding was… gone. It was sucked away like how Americans say school sucks out creativity. That’s how I felt about riding, but I had to keep doing it because it’s my job.

“And then I saw an opportunity-” Victor’s downcast face lightens into a sweet smile. “-the Olympics. They’re the most rigorous competition Makkachin and I will ever compete in. I knew he needed to rest before we began to really train for it. It was my chance to leave and take a break from the routine that was sucking the life out of what I love. I scoured the internet, I asked every rider if they knew of a good barn far away from everything that was ruining me. And it lead me here.” Those glimmering eyes turn to Yuuri. “And you gave me life again.”

His heart leaps into his throat and melts into his stomach, the warmth making him smile. He doesn’t care that the others might be around, he takes Victor’s face in his hands and kisses him soft and slow.

Yuuri’s not good with saying words out loud. He could think up or write down the most eloquent of phrases, but speaking them into existence is another thing entirely. When those words are about love and the fullness of the past eight months of his life and he needs to say them to another person, those words catch in his throat and refuse to be said out loud. Hopefully, the curve of his mouth and the hand in Victor’s hair will tell him everything Yuuri can’t say.

That night, every sits around the dinner table for katsudon, Yuuri blowing out the candle stuck in his pork cutlet to the cheers of his loved ones. When the triplets carry in a pile of brightly wrapped presents, Victor has to hold him down in his seat. The other rider insist that Yuuri open his presents last and he can hardly wait. He speeds through the other gifts, taking time to thank everyone for what they got him before going on to the next one immediately.

When he’s gotten through everyone else’s presents, Victor disappears down the hall and comes back with arms full of three huge boxes. Yuuri nearly cries when he sees them.

“Vitya!” He catches the top one before it can fall as Victor is sitting down. “You didn’t have to buy this much-”

Victor kisses him before he can continue, Yuuri going bright red. “I wanted to get them for you.”

He opens the first box--one of two short and wide rectangular clothing boxes--carefully, parting the tissue paper inside to reveal the gift itself. Yuuri’s fingers stop when he sees what’s nestled there. There are almost a dozen riding tops folded inside: crisp polos and thermal shirts and soft sweaters. He takes them out one at a time to the gasps of his loved ones until he reaches the final item: a custom navy blue jacket with Yuuri’s name stitched into the breast. He flips it over, revealing the words Имущество Виктора Никифорова written across the back in bold lettering.

“What does that say?” Yuuri asks Victor.

The other rider grins, leaning in close to whisper in his ear. “‘Property of Victor Nikiforov.’”

Yuuri turns scarlet red.

The next box is just as extravagant. There are multiple pairs of jodhpurs and breeches inside, each a different color, one even a shiny silver. The color palette matches perfectly with the tops, a dozen different combinations already coming to mind. They’re all deep blues and warm tans and rich browns and soft whites with accents of silver and black and Yuuri loves all of them.

The biggest and final box is full of saddle pads and boots for Eros with the same color palette as the clothes for Yuuri. They’re very well made: the blankets padded for extra support and boots as sturdy as can be while still being colorful and matching each other.

“How on earth…?” Yuuri stares at Victor in disbelief, who smiles at him.

“I had them specially made,” he explains. “I do that with all my riding clothes and I thought you’d like to have some of your own. Now you can coordinate all your colors!”

Yuuri hugs him tight, thanking Victor over and over again. They all have dessert and afterwards, everyone has to help the birthday boy get his gifts into his bedroom. A little while later, Yuuri and Victor are alone, the former carefully hanging up all his new expensive clothes.

He runs a hand over the gray sweater. “Is this real wool?”

“Yep,” Victor confirms from where he sits on the bed, scrolling through his phone. “100% authentic Russian sheep’s wool.”

“How much did this all cost?” Yuuri turns to him as he folds the navy blue jodhpurs.

Victor makes a face at him. “Are you gonna complain that I’m spending too much money on you?”

“… maybe.”

“ _ Yu- _ uri,” the other rider groans. “Why must you constantly doubt your worth?”

Yuuri shrugs, staring down at the polo shirt in his hands. Arms snake around his waist and his back is pulled against Victor’s chest. He drops the shirt when lips press against the crook of his neck.

“I want you to know how much I care about you,” Victor murmurs against his skin. “Materialism is the best way I know how to do that.”

Yuuri hums as the other rider’s hands travel up and down his sides slowly. “You could always just tell me.”

“I’m not the best with words.”

Yuuri chuckles, leaning back into him and relaxing at the warmth that flows into him from Victor’s kisses. He tenses when those hands travel below his waist.

“Victor,” Yuuri’s voice is a warning.

“Mmm.” He can feel that hum against his skin as Victor’s kiss deepens and his hands trail lower still.

“Victor, stop!”

Yuuri pushes him away and dashes to the other side of the room, standing against the door. His entire body is trembling and there’s a heat coiling under his skin that’s making him sick. Is he going to cry?

“Yuuri?” Victor is thankfully keeping his distance. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no.” Yuuri takes a deep breath, wishing for the fire in his gut to go away. “You didn’t…”

“Then what’s wrong?” Victor sounds absolutely bewildered.

Yuuri turns to face him, voice soft when he speaks. “I-I’m asexual.”

Victor’s expression goes from confused to surprised to… understanding all in a matter of seconds. “Oh.”

Yuuri buries his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, I know you really want this but I just can’t-”

“Yuuri.” There are arms around him and a soft voice in his ear. “I don’t care if we have sex or not. I care about  _ you. _ ”

Yuuri lifts his head and meets those soothing blue eyes. “But-”

Victor’s thumb on his lip stops him. He sighs. “I’m sorry… I told you I’m not good with this stuff.” Victor’s hand moves to caress his cheek. “A friend of mine explained asexuality to me; her girlfriend is ace too. I’ll never forget how serious her face was when she told me to always be respectful if my partner is asexual, even though I would be with any lover…” Yuuri chuckles. “I’ve never cared about anyone like you. I’ll do whatever you want, Yuuri. I don’t care as long as you stay with me.”

He blushes at those words, loving the way Victor’s cheeks flush pink too. He brushes the silky silver hair behind his lover’s ear, leaving his hand there to rest against his skin.

“I’m gonna put the rest of the clothes away,” Yuuri says. “I’ll be in bed in a minute.”

Victor goes back to sit on his side of the mattress while Yuuri continues hanging up his new expensive clothes. When he’s done, he climbs into bed and guides Victor into his lap. He runs his hands up the other rider’s sides, loving the feeling of his smooth, bare skin under his palms.

Victor fingers at the hem of Yuuri’s shirt. “Is this okay?”

He nods, letting him bring the fabric up and over his head. “This--touching and kissing--this is okay.”

Victor nods, pressing his lips to Yuuri’s cheek. “Let me know if anything is uncomfortable.”

“Mhmm.” Yuuri guides Victor’s lips to his own, lazily tangling their tongues and mouths together.

“I love your stomach,” Victor says in between kissing, kneading at his love handles. “It’s so soft.”

Yuuri grumbles. “I’ve always been self conscious about it…”

“Well, you shouldn’t be.”

“Are you self conscious about anything?”

Victor hums as he thinks. “My eyes.”

“What?!” Yuuri stares in disbelief at him. “Your eyes are  _ beautiful. _ ”

Victor blushes. “Most of the people I know have the same eye color as me. There’s nothing really special about them…”

“Are you kidding me?” Yuuri holds his lover’s face so he can look into those perfect opticals. “They’re the most wonderful eyes in the world. They change color based on your mood--right now they look like the ocean on a perfect day. They’re so expressive and beautiful and-”

“Stop!” Victor’s turned bright red and buries his face in the crook of Yuuri’s neck. “It’s embarrassing!”

“Good, now you know how I feel.”

They stay that way for an hour, talking and touching and kissing until they get sleepy. They cuddle up and turn out the lights, still peppering each other with kisses until they fall asleep.

 

The warmest day of November comes two days later, and they take Eros down to the beach as early as they can. Minako-sensei stands close by as Yuuri and Victor try to get the mare into the water.

Victor holds her lead rope while Yuuri splashes through the cove, trying to show Eros that it’s safe.

“Look, girl!” He calls to her, submerging his arms into the ocean. “It’s alright! This stuff's not gonna hurt you!”

Eros whinnies to him, dancing in place nervously.

Yuuri cups his hands and brings her some water to sniff. She nuzzles at his fingers. “See?” He lets the water fall and runs his wet palms over her cheeks. “It’s okay.”

When Yuuri takes her lead rope from Victor, Eros follows him into the ocean. She steps into the waves timidly and then virtually gallops into the water, dragging Yuuri with her. He, Victor, and Minako-sensei laugh as she happily whinnies and trots in circles.

Later that day on the cross country trail, Eros canters into the water with confidence and jumps the steps on the other side to the cheers of Victor and Minako-sensei.

***

More beautiful art by Saferion! Please go give her all the love on Tumblr, she deserves it.

Makkachin:

Victor's Swag:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Step jump - a kind of cross country jump that's built into the side of a hill for a horse to jump up or down composed of one or two "steps"


	14. Yuri on Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to take a break when Christmas and Victor’s birthday come around. As it’s not celebrated in Russia, this is Victor’s first Christmas experience and Yuuri is incredibly excited to share it with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> I am back with more gay! I wrote this chapter on the stream, witch is still going on. It took longer than I expected, but I will still be writing and posting chapter 15 tonight. It is currently 5:50 where I am on the east coast of America. I'm gonna go have dinner, take a break, and come back to continue in an hour and ten minutes at about 7pm eastern standard time. Please feel free to join me then at https://picarto.tv/Emory7Claire.  
> Enjoy the chapter and I hope to see you at 7!

Yuuri and Eros have not done a single step of dressage since the mare arrived. They’ve been waiting for the colder months to begin practicing due to the limited time they’d be able to practice on the cross country trail, but now it’s December and the water jumps are near freezing and the muddy trails have become hard and unsafe to ride on.

Victor and Yuuri worked on choreographing the freestyle dressage routine during their spare nights when they weren’t exhausted from training all day. They’ve chosen the music; a beautiful piano piece that Yuuri had someone at college compose for him. They spent those nights in bed listening to it over and over, coming up with different routines each time.

“The beat in the beginning is perfect for a passage,” Victor notes.

They’re lying on their shared bed, Yuuri’s phone one the pillow in front of them playing the song and a notebook resting on both their knees.

“Eros could even pause on that chime before continuing,” Victor continues. “ _ That  _ would be impressive.”

“And then when the piano part picks up, we could go into an extended trot?” Yuuri offers.

Victor nods. “I like it! I definitely feel that when the swell ends and it goes back to just the piano, you could fall back into a passage and end on piaffe.”

“Yeah! That’s perfect.”

They complete the routine and decide to begin practicing the next day. The morning of their first dressage training session, a sweater and pair of jodhpurs are folded on Yuuri’s side on the bed, waiting for him when he gets back from breakfast. Victor hums conspicuously from where he’s putting on his chaps.

“Vitya.” Yuuri’s voice is a near scold as he picks up the clothes. “Did you put these here?”

“Mhmm,” his boyfriend replies, not looking up.

“Why?”

“They’re for you to wear today.”

“Any particular reason as to why you put them out?”

Victor finishes buckling his chap and stands, spreading out his arms with heart-shaped smile set in place under his glittering eyes. “We’ll match!”

He’s wearing a rich brown sweater with navy blue jodhpurs, the clothes in Yuuri’s hands the exact opposite; a navy sweater with brown jodhpurs.

Yuuri makes a face at him. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Please wear them today, please?” Victor snakes his arms around Yuuri and nuzzles into his neck. “Please? It’ll make me really happy.”

Yuuri sighs. “Fine, but this better not become a regular occurrence.”

It becomes a regular occurrence. From that day forward, Victor lays out Yuuri’s outfits, always choosing color schemes that match with his own. The other rider doesn’t stop there and also chooses the saddle blankets and boots Yuuri uses that day so the colors match his clothes. He makes a big deal out of it at first, but comes to love it after a while. It feels nice to look good with colors specifically chosen to match each other as he usually just wears black or tan jodhpurs with whatever t-shirt he first grabs from his drawer. Also, it makes Victor happy and Yuuri has to admit, he kinda loves wearing matching outfits.

Minako-sensei agrees to let them use the indoor arena in between her lessons, so they get to practice for about an hour at a time before they’re kicked out for a while. She usually stays close by, offering advice if need be.

They start by working on the moves themselves, making sure Eros’s rhythm and regularity of each move is perfect. They spend several days working on that, the mare having most problem with the oneseys but eventually finding the right rhythm and relaxing into them.

The next few weeks are for the routine itself, planning out where each turn and move should occur and practicing them with and without music.

It’s time to take a break when Christmas and Victor’s birthday come around. As it’s not celebrated in Russia, this is Victor’s first Christmas experience and Yuuri is incredibly excited to share it with him.

The night of Christmas Eve, he plucks up the courage and asks Victor out to go get dinner in town. The other rider practically assaults him with a hug, giddily yelling his affirmation. Mama Katsuki allows them to borrow the family car for the night.

“I have a surprise for after dinner,” Yuuri teases from the passenger seat as they make their way into Hasetsu.

“Ooo, what is it?” Victor’s voice is elated.

“Not telling.”

“Aww, please?”

“You’ll have to guess.”

And guess he does. He won’t shut up throughout dinner, coming up with more and more crazy ideas for what Yuuri might have planned. The other rider doesn’t give him any hints, just saying ‘no’ to Victor’s hundreds of wrong guesses. They’re walking after dinner, Victor still guessing, when Yuuri turns them up a set of concrete steps to a well-lit building.

“Welcome to Hasetsu’s Ice Castle,” Yuuri beams as he holds the door open for his boyfriend.

Victor smacks himself in the face. “Ice skating! I should have guessed that!”

Turns out the most well-decorated horseback rider in the world is terrible at something a ten year old on the ice with them does with ease.

“You never skated in Russia?” Yuuri asks, arm wrapped around Victor’s waist and free hand holding his to help him keep his balance.

“I took a few lessons when I was little.” Victor slips again, Yuuri catching him. “But I never got all that into it.”

“Too caught up with the mathletes?” Yuuri giggles.

“No, I was actually on the swim team at the time.” Yuuri laughs harder.

The next morning, Yuuri gives Victor his twenty eight birthday kisses to the sweet chuckles of his boyfriend before they get out of bed and join the rest of the family in the living room. When it comes time for Yuuri’s parents to give Victor a gift, they pass a small box to both riders. They open the boxes at the same time and Yuuri gasps at what he sees.

Inside each box is a small blue charm with Japanese words written on the front and a little bow with a string attached at the top.

Victor lifts his out of the box. “What is it?”

“They’re omamori,” Yuuri replies, holding his identical one alongside the other rider’s. “Japanese good luck charms.”

“Those ones are for love,” Mama Kastuki explains to Victor. “For good luck in your relationship.”

Yuuri nearly cries as he hugs her and his father, thanking them both over and over again. The matching love omamori hang on the wall above their bed from that night on.

 

“Yuuri, try it again!” Victor calls from across the arena. “That was nearly perfect.”

“Okay!” Yuuri tries his best to hide the groan in his voice.

This is the second dozenth time he and Eros have gone through the dressage routine and he almost wishes she didn’t have this much endurance so they could stop for the day. While the mare happily takes her place in the center of the arena, waiting for the music to begin, Yuuri is sweaty and smelly and tired.

The piano begins and he presses his heels into Eros’s side, signaling her forward and into a passage. He counts the beats to the music, signaling to the mare to lengthen her stride as the piano part picks up. Seconds later, the violin comes in and Eros quickens into a collected canter. For weeks she couldn’t handle the collected canter, always ignoring Yuuri’s hand and extending it. Now, she listens as he sends her down the center of the arena with three half passes, a lead change signaling the start of the next one. They pirouette at the end of the arena--another struggle for Eros--before going back down the center with half passes, changing leads every other strides.

The music rises and explodes, Eros responding easily to Yuuri’s signal for her extend her canter. Just moments later, they stop as the music stops, Eros piaffing in place as the single piano picks up once more. A slight love-tap with Yuuri’s heels and she’s trotting forward at a passage. Another swell has Eros extending her canter once more before the music drops down, they move into a passage once more, and the routine ends with the last chime of the piano.

Yuuri nearly falls over Eros’s next once the music stops, sides heaving and back aching from sitting perfectly straight in the saddle for hours. There’s a hand on his and he looks down to find Victor smiling up at him.

“That was perfect, Yuuri! It’ll be impossible for you to lose with that routine.”

Yuuri can’t stop his own smile. “All thanks to you.”

He leans down over Eros’s side, slipping his hand into Victor’s hair. The other rider stands up on his tiptoes to meet Yuuri for the kiss he presses to his lips. He can taste the salt of his own sweat on Victor’s cold mouth and immediately wants to get into a shower.

The other rider yelps against his lips, pulling away and turning to Yuuri’s horse, who’s nibbling at Victor’s rear end. Yuuri laughs, pushing Eros’s face away to kiss his boyfriend again.

“She’s starting to like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Passage - a very collected trot where the horse lifts their legs up high and pauses slightly between each stride  
> Piaffe - a passage in place  
> Half-pass - a movement where the horse goes on a diagonal, moving sideways and forward at the same time, while bent slightly in the direction of movement  
> Pirouette - a 360 degree turn in place, usually performed at the canter


	15. Here I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He dismounts and brings Eros to the boarding barn, taking off her bridle and loosening her girth before leaving her alone in her stall. The three of them stand outside, momentarily silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I'd be back! I am a person of my word!  
> The stream was a lot of fun, it really motivated me to write. When I have less spoilery chapters to write, I'll let you guys know and set a time for another one!  
> In the meantime, enjoy the chapter!

It’s March, less than a month before the Japanese Nationals, and Eros has been progressing incredibly well.

She’s perfected the dressage routine and flies through the cross country course in record time with no problem and has been jumping higher and higher jumps with more and more ease every day.

Today, they’ve finally reached the point where Eros can jump the 1.25 meter fences she will at the Nationals. Yuuri is bouncing around that morning, too excited to be able to contain it. He even willingly wears the shiny silver jodhpurs Victor has been trying to get him in since his birthday. The other eventer is drooling all morning.

Eros is just as excited as he is, constantly moving in her stall and nickering at Yuuri as he tacks her up, almost seeming to say, “hurry up!” She dances on her hooves as they enter the indoor arena and sees Minako-sensei setting up the jumps. Yuuri has to try extra hard to keep her collected through their warm up. 

“Yuuri!” Minako-sensei calls to him and he slows Eros to a walk, looking to his instructor. “You two will go over this outside jump-” she gestures to the blue and white fence. “-at higher and higher heights until we get it up to 1.25 meters. Then we’ll do some courses. Sound good?”

“Yes, sensei.”

Victor stands in the corner of the arena, watching and ready to help or give advice if need be. The warm up jump starts small, just over half a meter. Eros canters smoothly, Yuuri barely able to keep her steady as they jump the fence with ease. Minako-sensei raises it to just below a full meter. Eros once again jumps it perfectly. The jump gets raised once more, now to over a full meter, and once more Eros has no problem. Minako-sensei raises the jump slightly two more times before it reaches the 1.25 meter mark.

A tap of his heels has Eros cantering forward, stride collected yet powerful. Yuuri’s hips swing with the rock of her body while his legs stay still where they’re pressed to her sides. They come around the turn of the short end of the arena, Eros’s body turning to point where Yuuri’s eyes focus on the fence. Once they’re pointed down the center, his eyes pull up to look past it and his leg presses harder. One, two, one, two, three strides pass and Yuuri squeezes hard with his calves, Eros reacting and bounding into the air. The adrenaline rushing through them both makes time slow and the split second of flight has Yuuri's heart leaping into his throat.

The landing is jarring, Yuuri’s heart falling hard into his chest. He settles back into his seat and pulls Eros to a walk. He looks up to the jump and beams when he sees all the rails are in place.

“Good job,” Minako-sensei says, trying to act unimpressed. “Walk her around while we set the rest of the jumps up.” She gestures for Victor to help her.

The rider goes to Yuuri first, the other leaning down to meet his boyfriend’s level. “You’ve done so well on her, Yuuri. I just want you to know how proud I am of you.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri smiles as a quick kiss is pressed to his lips.

“Oi! Could you two keep your hands off each other for two seconds?” Minako-sensei barks. “Would you help me with the jumps now, Champion?”

That’s her teasing nickname for Victor and Yuuri loves how it makes the rider blush. Even after months of being around Victor and watching him do mundane tasks, it’s still strange to see him do those kinds of things. The other rider is the kind of person that’s always seen under a spotlight, always going over jumps flawlessly, not setting them up with messed up hair and dirty breeches. And yet, that’s exactly what Yuuri’s looking at.

What’s stranger is just how much he’s seen of the eventer that he never would have known had circumstances not turned out the way they did. He’d never know what Victor’s morning breath smells or tastes like, never know what it’s like to brush out that silky silver hair after he’s showered or have his own hair brushed by those delicate fingers, never know under what perfect angle Victor’s eyes shine like a million blue diamonds. Yet, he does know those things, and Yuuri is still finding it in himself to be amazed by those facts.

“Yuuri!”

He snaps to attention, turning to his instructor. “Simple course to begin with.” She points to the jumps as she gives their names. “Outside, diagonal, outside line, diagonal line, oxar, and finish with a circle.”

Yuuri nods, not needing her to run through the course again. He gets Eros into a start position and urges her into a canter. Minako-sensei and Victor stand in the center of the arena, out of the way of the jumps and any path the horse and rider might take. The first jump is just as easy as before, the takeoff still always causing Yuuri to choke on his own heart.

Eros hardly needs him to use the reins, Yuuri’s eyes and legs are enough to let her know where to go and when to turn. The diagonal jump is no problem, the turn as smooth as ever as Eros bends around the press of Yuuri’s leg. She makes it to the second jump of both lines within four strides and he hardly feels the final turn to the oxar. He counts the strides under his breath, feels Eros’s heaving sides under his legs, and one, two, three they take off. The landing is smooth and solid, but what comes just before isn’t. 

There’s a hollow bang followed by a thud, and Yuuri knows all too well what that sound is. He doesn’t bother circling Eros, just slows her to a walk and turns to look at the oxar. The pole of the second half of the jump sits in the dirt; Eros knocked it over. As frustrated as it makes him, it also confuses Yuuri. The mare never knocked over oxars at lower heights, so why would she have a problem if she jumped the other 1.25 meter jumps perfectly?

“Yuuri,” Minako-sensei calls as she and Victor fix the pole. “Come do the oxar again!”

“Yes, sensei!”

Yuuri gets Eros cantering again and points her to the jump once more. She clears the first fence easily, but the second pole comes down again. They try it several more times in a row and each time, the mare knocks over the same pole.

“Yuuri, we’re gonna move on,” Minako-sensei says after a while.

She and Victor set up a different course, replacing the diagonal line and oxar with a single, three jump line. The course is the same as before with the triple as the final jump. Eros gets over the outside jump and double line with ease. When Yuuri points her at the final triple, he can feel her tense underneath him. Eros clears the first two with three strides in between. On the fourth stride before the final jump, she refuses, sliding to a stop just before it and nearly sending Yuuri over her neck.

He doesn’t need to be told to try it again, turning Eros and sending her back at it at a canter. She refuses the final jump again.

“Let’s take a break,” Victor says after their seventh failed attempt at clearing the triple line. Yuuri can tell the other rider is just as baffled as he is.

He dismounts and brings Eros to the boarding barn, taking off her bridle and loosening her girth before leaving her alone in her stall. The three of them stand outside, momentarily silent.

“It’s the height and distance of the jump,” Victor says. “She’s not used to jumping that high and far and probably doesn’t know just  _ how _ to jump an oxar of that size.”

“So, we jump her over oxars at increasing heights until she can do the 1.25 meter jump smoothly?” Yuuri inquires.

“That’s the best way to do it,” Minako-sensei agrees. “We should do the same thing with the triple. Give her an hour to rest and then we’ll get back out there.”

Yuuri and Victor end up lying on the grazing hill next to the pastures. It’s still chilly in March and the grass is cold underneath his body, but the coat he got from his love keeps him comfortably warm. Victor never seems bothered by the cold and is currently warming Yuuri’s freezing fingertips with his own hot hands.

“Do you think she’ll be ready in time?” Yuuri breaks their silence.

“Of course.” Victor’s voice is cheery. “She’s been doing incredibly well. Once she’s okay with the triple and oxar, it’ll be smooth sailing before the Nationals.”

“… do you think I’ll be ready in time?”

Yuuri can feel Victor shift against him and the burning of that gaze. He refuses to turn, eyes staying ahead to the cloudy sky that seems to be fueling his mood.

“Are you nervous?”

Yuuri shrugs. “It’s just a competition; I’ve been to dozens before… it’s not like my entire future depends on whether or not I do well in the Nationals…”

Shit, not now. It’s like someone’s shot his chest full of ink that floods his lungs and arteries and he can’t breathe and he knows this feeling too well and why now why when everything seems to be going so well and he was so happy and now the ink is in his brain and he thinks he might faint and-

“Yuuri!”

He blinks and comes back to himself, pressed up against Victor’s chest with those familiar arms wrapped tight around him as they lie on the ground. In an instant, he knows he’s crying.

Victor pulls back, keeping his arm under Yuuri’s shoudlers as he leans over him. Those eyes are nearly black with fear. “Are you okay? What happened? I’m so terrible with these things, it’s like Georgi’s anxiety attacks all over again-”

“I’m alright… I think…” He’s still trembling, eyes turning away. “I just…”

“Will a hug help?”

Yuuri just nods, unable to do much else. Victor’s arms envelop him tightly, Yuuri’s face naturally burying itself in his shoulder as he’s pulled into his lover’s lap. It’s dark and warm and safe inside Vitya’s arms. His heartbeat slows and the ink fades away until all he feels is the aftershock.

“What was that?” Victor asks once Yuuri’s calmed down. “Do you get anxiety attacks?”

Yuuri just nods against his shoulder. Victor sighs and he can feel those hands beginning to run through his hair. “I’m so sorry. One of my friends on the Russian team would get them in the middle of jumping courses and start crying. I always did my best to help him when they happened.”

“I usually don’t have anyone to help me.” Yuuri’s voice is muffled against Victor’s chest.

“How often does this happen?”

“It comes and goes, sometimes staying for longer periods of times than others,” Yuuri explains. “It usually happens at least once a month if not more.”

“Have you thought about going to see someone?”

Yuuri shrugs. “I’ve never really felt a need for it.”

“Well, let me know when it happens and I’ll do my best to help you.”

Yuuri tightens his hold on Victor’s shirt and buries himself deeper into the folds of his lover’s arms, trying his best to disappear inside them.

 

It takes a week of hard training to get Eros to cleanly over the oxar and triple. Yuuri sends her over the jumps at multiple different heights hundreds of times, they lunge her over the jumps, they do everything they can think of to help her, even having Victor bring in Makkachin to demonstrate how to jump them. It takes hours upon hours, but she eventually does it. And when Eros lands cleanly over the oxar having jumped the final triple just ten strides beforehand, Victor runs up to both of them and catches Yuuri as he slips out of the saddle, kissing him hard and laughing against his mouth.

For the next few weeks, they’ll fine tune all the disciplines and then it’ll be time for the Nationals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lunging - a way to help train a horse by putting it on a long 'lead rope' called a lunge rope and sending the horse in circles around oneself. This helps the horse to become more comfortable in their strides, to relax, and to often help them practice going over jumps


	16. Victorious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day he sprained his ankle on Lohengrin, they had passed by a boy and his gray horse in the cross ties. Here is that boy and horse, the pair moving through a perfect passage along the wall of the arena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First major plot point time! YAY! I never would have written this far if it weren't for your continued support. I have so many ideas for other major plot points in the future, so we're gonna be in this for the long haul.  
> I have to plan out the next few chapters before I'll be writing regularly again, but I have begun chapter 17. I'll post that one soon and then it might be a while before another chapter goes up. Please be patient with me and keep the comments coming; they fuel my writing passion.  
> I love you all and enjoy the chapter!

Yuuri wakes up to find Victor half lying on him, his sleeping face cuddling into his chest. He turns to look out the window where the sun shines harshly onto his face. He catches the time from the nightstand clock out of the corner of his eye and a thickness settles into his chest. In a few hours, Yuuri will be put to the test and his performance will determine if he’ll become a contender in the international eventing community.

His heart grows heavy, and he closes his eyes, trying to ignore it. Yuuri’s mind is racing and he can’t get it to _shut up._ What if Eros doesn’t listen to him? What if she can’t hold her collected canter and it messes up their routine? What if tomorrow she trips on a cross country jump or won’t go into the water? What if she knocks over the oxar or refuses the last jump in the triple? What if Yuuri can’t calm down during their rides and everything goes wrong?

He’s crying now, silent as tears trickle down his nose to pool onto his pillow. One little sob moves his chest and stirs Victor, the other rider slowly coming to his senses. Yuuri wishes he would go back to sleep, wishes he hadn’t bothered his lover’s peaceful dreams, but Victor leans up and rubs his eyes despite his silent pleas.

“Morning, моя любовь,” the eventer mumbles, opening his eyes to look up at Yuuri, his growing smile disappearing in an instant. “Yuuri? What’s wrong?”

His throat is tight and he can’t speak and the worry in those diamond blue eyes is making it worse.

“Is it another anxiety attack?” Victor asks, reaching up to brush the hair out of Yuuri’s eyes.

He nods.

“We don’t have to get ready for a little while. Is a hug okay?”

Another nod.

Victor gets off Yuuri’s chest, settling next to him and rolling him over so he can bury his face in the other rider’s chest as the arms he feels safest in envelop him. Yuuri holds Victor as best he can, his silent tears becoming motionless ugly cries as he’s held closer and closer. He can feel the other rider’s guilt, knows he wishes he could do more and hates that he can’t offer any solace; ‘this happens all the time’, ‘it passes eventually’, ‘it’s not your fault’, but Yuuri’s voice refuses to make any noise but quiet sobs.

Victor begins whispering to him in Russian, tone soft and words comforting. Yuuri has no idea what he’s saying, but it still relaxes him. The sobs making his body shudder fall few and far between and his tears dry to leave salt tracks on his cheeks.

“Это нормально, Юрий. Вы собираетесь быть удивительным,” Victor mumbles into his hair. “Do you feel better?”

Yuuri nods against his chest.

“Do you want to get up?”

He shakes his head.

“Can I show you something?”

“What is it?” Yuuri looks up to meet those glimmering blue eyes.

Victor grins. “It’s a surprise.”

Yuuri reluctantly loosens his hold on his lover’s waist, letting Victor get out of bed and head to the closet. He parts the clothes and emerges with a box that was hidden inside. Victor sits back beside him as Yuuri opens the box and gasps.

Inside is the most beautiful riding jacket Yuuri has ever seen.

It’s a deep, rich blue with silver buttons and a sharp cut. There’s a darker silk trim around the collar and seams that’s studded with hundreds of tiny gems that sparkle under the light. Yuuri lifts it out of the box tentatively, amazed at how soft the fabric is under his hands.

“Vitya…” Yuuri turns to him, mouth agape. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Victor’s blushing and smiling sweeter than he ever has before. “Just wear it for me.”

Yuuri stands and slips the jacket on over his sleep shirt. It fits perfectly. “How did you get the measurements so perfect?”

Victor chuckles. “I measured you while you were sleeping one night. It took me three hours.”

Yuuri looks in his mirror and nearly starts crying again. The jacket makes him look professional yet elegant, the glitter in the seams destined to make him stand out in the arena.

“I love it!” Yuuri rushes back to the bed and kisses Victor hard. “Thank you so much.”

“Anything for you, моя любовь.” Victor reaches into the box and pulls something else out. “Do you think Eros will like her gift?”

Yuuri’s jaw drops once more when he sees what the other rider holds out; a browband studded with a row of diamonds that glitter just like Yuuri’s jacket.

“You and Eros will get along perfectly once she sees this.”

Victor laughs.

 

Unsurprisingly, Minako-sensei is the one freaking out the most of them all.

They manage to have a decently quiet breakfast where Mama Katsuki informs them that she’s coming to help. Once Yuuri’s instructor arrives, all hell breaks loose. She demands to see everything Yuuri is planning to wear; the jacket and breeches and tall books. She demands that all the tack be clean and shining for better presentation, and that Eros’s mane and tail are brushed and braided to perfection.

Of course, she does nothing to help as she insists a rider must ‘learn responsibility for themself.’ So, Yuuri and Victor are the ones who spend the morning getting everything ready. They clean Eros’s tack once more and polish the tall boots. Victor annihilates Yuuri’s breeches with a lint roller while he’s giving the mare an extra intense grooming. A fresh coat of hoof polish is applied to Eros’s feet, her whiskers are clipped down, and the end of her tail is cut flat.

The moment Minako-sensei sees the jacket, she refuses to let Yuuri wear it. “This is an equestrian Event, _not_ a fashion show!”

“I’ve worn gaudier things to the Rolex!” Victor argues. “It falls within the dress code of the Nationals; I read it three times to make sure it would be okay for Yuuri to wear. There’s nothing in the rules against a little sparkle.”

She gives in after that, mostly because all of Yuuri’s other jackets are too small for him. He gets dressed with help from Victor who straightens the folds of his shirt and does up his tie. The other rider sneaks some sweet kisses onto Yuuri’s neck once his jacket is buttoned in place, and he has to push Victor away to put on the exercise coat the eventer got him for his birthday. They load up the truck, Eros excitedly walking into the stall inside the trailer.

Minako-sensei drives the truck and the rest of them take the family car, Mama Katsuki driving while the lovers sit in the back seat. Yuuri’s lifelong instructor follows them as they pull out of the barn’s driveway and begin down the road.

As they drive, Yuuri gets more and more anxious. His hands shake where they rest in his lap and his foot taps faster and faster against the floor of the car. They’re been working towards this for months, but now that it’s here, he’s not sure he can do it.

Yuuri turns to Victor and his lover looks back. In an instant, he seems to know what’s going on and envelops the nervous rider in a tight hug, moving over to share the seat with him so he can hold him closer. That Russian mumbling begins again, the hands on his back moving up and down like the waves on a beach and soon, Yuuri has calmed down. They stay clinging together for the next hour until they reach the grounds of the Nationals.

As equestrian competitions are a newer form of national sport, there are no parks or grounds specially made for the competitions like in other countries where equestrian events have been taking place for decades. Therefore, the Japanese Nationals are held at the largest horse farm in the country. There are horse trailers everywhere, people unloading their horses and getting them ready for the dressage component today. The large barn stands between two arenas, one for warmup and the other where riders are already being judged in the lower levels.

They park in the far corner of the parking lot, Minako-sensei backing up the trailer so Eros will step right out onto the grazing hill. Mama Katsuki goes to sign in while the rest of them get the mare out of the trailer, Eros nickering when she’s free and nuzzling at Yuuri. Victor helps him brush her mane out again and put it into a row of button braids. Minako-sensei brushes out her tail.

Mama Katsuki returns with Yuuri’s number to go on the back of his jacket and his time. He’s registered for the highest level competition that will be held as the last event of the day. This first day will determine what score he’ll be evaluated on for the rest of the Event. Three-day Eventing is based on penalty points and the rider with the least amount of penalty points at the end of the competition is deemed the winner. For dressage, a group of judges will score him and the average of their scores will be turned into a percentage that will be subtracted from one hundred and multiplied by a given number to get the penalty points for the day. From then on every fault, knocked rail, refusal, and fall will be added to that number until Yuuri’s completed his show jumping round. Of the other riders competing in the highest level, he will be going last each day.

They have three hours before Yuuri’s level will be riding, so they settle on the grazing hill where they can get a good view of the competitors currently being judged. Mama Katsuki lays out the picnic blanket she brought and the snacks she packed. They watch three riders, Yuuri holding Eros’s lead rope as she grazes next to them, until someone calls his name.

“Yuuri-kun!”

He looks up and sees the boy who spooked Minuet all those months ago running towards him, bright smile on his face and hair messy. Kanako is running after him. Yuuri stands as the boy approaches, Eros following him.

Minami comes to a stop in front of him, smile growing wider. “Yuuri-kun! I can’t believe you’re here today! Do you remember me?!”

“Of course I do,” Yuuri smiles at the boy’s excitement. “Nice to see you again, Minami-kun.”

Kanako joins them, catching her breath as she comes to a stop behind her student. “I’m sorry if he’s bothering you, Yuuri. I told him not to-”

“It’s alright,” Yuuri gives her a polite smile, trying to ignore Eros’s muzzle nudging his arm. “It’s nice to see you both again.”

“Is this your horse?” Kanako asks, tentatively reaching out to the mare who sniffs her fingers.

He nods. “This is Eros.” Yuuri lets the mare step forward to greet the two.

“I’m glad you found one, even if it couldn’t have been Minuet,” Kanako chuckles.

Yuuri rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Don’t worry, she went to a wonderful dressage competitor. I’m excited to see what you and this mare will be able to do together.” Kanako turns to Minami-kun. “Your level is almost up, we should go.”

“Yuuri-kun,” Minami turns to him, eyes wide and shining. “Will you watch me? Me and my horse Boogie-” he points to a light chestnut across the way. “-we’re doing a routine inspired by one of your old ones. Will you watch and cheer us on?”

Yuuri smiles. “Of course. Good luck, Minami-kun.”

Kanako has to carry the boy away as he squeals with happiness.

Yuuri sits back beside Victor who looks at him with eyes overflowing with love. “What?”

Victor shrugs. “It’s good to motivate others before motivating yourself. I’m proud of you.”

Yuuri blushes, looking around to make sure no one watches as he kisses his boyfriend quickly. Eros sticks her head between them before Victor can return the favor, demanding to be given attention. She lays down between them, her head resting on Yuuri’s lap as they pet her.

They watch Minami-kun perform, Yuuri recognizing the routine as the first one he ever performed with Vicchan at the Nationals. Victor’s hand takes his before he realizes he’s crying. He promises the other rider that it’s just nostalgia, wiping them away quickly.

A half hour before his level is meant to perform, Yuuri and the others bring Eros fully tacked down to be inspected. A veterinarian gives her a check up and deems her safe to compete after a few tense minutes. Yuuri mounts the mare and begins warming her up in the practice arena, immediately recognizing one of the other riders there with him. The day he sprained his ankle on Lohengrin, they had passed by a boy and his gray horse in the cross ties. Here is that boy and horse, the pair moving through a perfect passage along the wall of the arena. Yuuri looks around and spots Min-soo on the wall, watching the rider. He trots Eros up to her.

“Hello, Yuuri,” the woman smiles up at him. “It’s good to see you’ve gotten better.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri smiles back. “Is that your student?” He gestures to the boy and dapple gray.

Min-soo nods, sighing slightly. “That’s Seung Gil, my most stubborn rider. He and Almavivo are a good pair, but he never listens to my advice. It would be a problem if he were a bad rider, but he’s far from it.”

“I can tell.” Yuuri watches Seung Gil move Almavivo into a perfect extended trot.

“Good luck,” Min-soo says as she walks to meet her rider down the fence.

Yuuri warms up Eros on the flat, running through basic work at the trot and canter before practicing her more stubborn moves. Thankfully, she has no problem with the collected canter and pirouette, so he’s able to relax a bit as they walk to where they’ll be judged when it’s time, Victor holding his hand as best he can the whole while. They watch the other riders--most older than Yuuri--nerves rushing through him when the scores are called out, ranging from 17.3 penalty points to almost 30. He’s enraptured in Seung Gil’s performance, Almavivo absolutely perfect by all of Yuuri’s standards. He’s not surprised when the rider’s score comes to 15.4 points.

The rider before Yuuri steps into the arena and his heart leaps. Victor tugs on his arm and he looks down at his lover. “Make sure you can feel her mouth at all times. Ride like you do in practice and you’ll win.”

Yuuri nods, taking off the practice coat and handing it to him. His hand stays lowered, moving to Victor’s hair and running down his cheeks. His finger comes underneath the other rider’s chin, bringing his face closer.

“Don’t ever take your eyes off us,” Yuuri instructs.

“I won’t.”

Yuuri is ready when the rider before him exits the arena to a score of 25.5 penalty points. He waits until his name is called before trotting Eros inside, sending her around the twenty by sixty dressage pen and signaling for his music at one side. A simple piano opening plays them into the pen and they halt, Yuuri bowing to the judges. The real music begins and the pair begins to dance.

Gasps ring out from the crowd throughout the routine, either as a reaction to Eros’s perfect execution or the sparkle of Yuuri’s jacket that he can see out of the corner of his eye. Whatever it may be, he doesn’t have time to think about it. His mind is encompassed by his awareness of every movement of his body and Eros’s underneath him. The music has taken over his thoughts, counting the beats and giving commands automatically.

Before Yuuri has realized it, the music has ended and they make their final halt. He remembers how to breathe when the crowd starts applauding and he sees Victor grinning from the opening to the arena. He trots Eros out of the arena, stopping her beside his lover and taking the hand that’s offered to him.

“Yuuri, that was…” Victor trails off, a smile taking over his words.

The voice comes onto the loudspeaker, announcing that Yuuri’s score comes to 10.6 penalty points. He turns to look at the scoreboard and sees his name at the very top.

  

The next day is cross country.

The sparkly jacket stays hung up in the closet for show jumping the next day. Instead of the gaudy garment, Yuuri and company pack all of the necessary safety equipment which fills two whole bags; a special helmet, safety vests, bell boots, and special leg pads for Eros.

They get to the grounds as early as they can to walk the course. Mama Katsuki stays with Eros as the rest of the company heads out on the trail between levels. None of the jumps are too fancy, mostly just logs and stone walls and a few water jumps. There’s a set of step jumps at the very beginning and just before the end is a set of steeplechase-esque jumps. The ground has good footing, no patches of mud or dangerous obstacles they can see.

Eros is tacked up with the bell boots to protect her hooves and the other pads to give her legs extra support. The saddle is attached to her in an extra place with a harness that wraps around the mare’s chest. They get her checked up by the vet who deems her safe to compete.

Once again, Yuuri is going last. He watches on the monitor as other riders complete their runs just seconds over the time limit, with refusals, and several who don’t complete the course as all. Seung Gil and Almavivo are nearly perfect, only going two seconds over the time limit with no other faults. He has the cleanest round of any of the other riders.

When it’s almost Yuuri’s turn, Victor hugs him as close as he can with the safety vest separating them. “Please be careful.”

None of the jumps out there are any different from the ones on the trail back home, but Yuuri shares his fear. This is the most dangerous kind of event a rider can compete in. He holds his lover as close as he can, turning his head awkwardly to press a kiss to his cheek. “I will be. I promise.”

He climbs into the saddle and approaches the start box when his name is called. A Nationals worker takes Eros’s reins, waiting for the approval to let them go. The mare dances on her hooves as Yuuri clutches the reins tighter. His heart is beating fast and hard, sweat already beading under his gloves and at the back of his neck. Yuuri doesn’t have time to think anymore because the worker is leading them into the start box and he has to send Eros forward, the mare rushing towards the first jump which she sails over effortlessly to the cheers of those standing by.

The cross country path is roped off from the rest of the open field and small stretches of woods, an easy straightforward track to follow. Eros has to work a little harder than she’s used to due to the thick grassy ground of the fields as opposed to the dirt trails they practiced on at home. She keeps a steady gallop as they move down the path, Yuuri stuck in two point over her back with his hands buried in her mane. He only releases her hair to point her between the flags on the jumps. If they jump outside of those flags, they’ll be eliminated.

They approach the first water obstacle, a log set before it that they’ll jump over before landing in the water. Yuuri tenses and Eros reacts, shaking her head out as if she’s tired of him being so worried. He relaxes his shoulders and the mare’s excitement picks up their pace, Eros clearing the jump with ease and happily whinnying as she lands in the water. They jump another obstacle in the middle of the makeshift pond and gallop out of the water to more cheers.

The rest of the course is fluid and clean. Yuuri knows Victor is watching and he can almost feel that worry and encouragement from kilometers away. Those feelings make him more confident, the emotions flowing into Eros who jumps with a grace he’s never felt from her before. The final three jumps approach them on the other side of a hill. As they reach flat ground, Yuuri urges Eros faster and she happily complies. They fly over the ground towards the jumps, adrenaline at a peaked high.

Then, Eros trips. It’s nothing terrible, just a quick fault of her feet and she easily corrects it seconds later. But they’re now going too slow, they won’t have enough momentum to get over the final jumps. Yuuri tries to get the mare back up to speed, but the jumps are only two strides away and Eros refuses the first one, running out to the left of the jump. He hears the disappointment in the crowd as he circles the mare to the B jump which they clear with ease before getting back on track and flying over the finish line.

A vet is there to check Eros the second Yuuri slows her to a halt, his family not far behind. He dismounts, staying faced towards the mare’s side. She reaches around to nuzzle at him, but he can’t move.

A refusal. They didn’t go over the time limit as far as Yuuri knows, but overtime would have been a better fault than a refusal.

“Yuuri!” A hand turns him around forcefully and arms are around him in the next second. He’s pressed tightly against a chest he knows all too well.

All Yuuri can do in return is hold tightly to the front of Victor’s shirt, clinging to his lover with his last bit of strength. “She ran out…”

“I know.” Victor’s voice is pained in his ear.

“That’s twenty- how will I…?” Yuuri can’t finish, his words dissolving into sobs. More arms come around him and Eros presses her muzzle to his cheek.

The vet deems the mare safe and sound as the scores go up. Seung Gil is first by a large margin with only 16.2 penalty points, Yuuri in second at 30.6. Twenty points were added to his dressage score for a simple run out.

How could he possibly win now?

  

Yuuri has never been more nervous than he is now. Victor has to button his shirt because his hands are shaking to hard to do it up himself. As he reaches the top buttons, Victor leans in to pepper kisses across Yuuri’s neck.

“Vitya… that’s not helping.”

His boyfriend pulls back and looks at him apologetically before continuing to do up Yuuri’s shirt buttons.

“Is there anything I _can_ do?” Victor asks as he fixes the rider’s collar.

Yuuri shrugs. “Just have more faith than me that I’ll win. You don’t have to do anything; just stand by me.”

Victor takes his hands, kissing each of his wrists so lightly he can barely feel it. “Always, моя любовь.”

He snuggles against the eventer in the car on the way to the grounds, taking as much comfort as he can in the warmth of the body pressed against him. Eros notices Yuuri’s downcast mood the second she steps out of the trailer, nuzzling at his fingers and cheeks until he smiles again.

Minami-kun wins first in his level, showing Yuuri the trophy and ribbon he won, insisting that the other rider come and meet his horse. Boogie is sweet and accepts the scratches he puts at his neck, nickering at the hug Minami-kun gives him. The young rider wishes Yuuri good luck before he has to follow Kanako back to their trailer.

Later, they watch the other riders at the jumping arena after walking the course and planning out the stride numbers. Yuuri’s competitors ride in spite of the knowledge that Seung Gil leads them all by at least fifteen penalty points. Many perform flawless courses and cheer when they finish, but it’s all for naught. None of their scores come close to Yuuri’s second place number.

When Seung Gil and Almavivo take to the arena, Yuuri knows something is wrong. It might be the tension in the other rider’s shoulder or how he forgoes a circle to immediately send his horse to the first jump. Whatever it is, it makes Yuuri watch the pair completely enraptured. They do not do well. Two rails come down within the first five jumps and Yuuri can feel Seung Gil’s frustration from where he sits on Eros. It’s decently smooth sailing until the second to last jump. Almavivo runs out to the right, forcing his rider to circle around and try again. They finish three seconds over time because of it.

Seung Gil’s final score comes to 31.2 penalty points.

Yuuri hasn’t been this relieved or terrified in his life.

If he rides a perfect course, he’ll win. If he and Eros make any mistake, they’ll place second. If they go a single second overtime, they’ll place second. There cannot be any faults, and if there are, he’ll have no chance of earning a spot in the FEI Classics.

Yuuri looks down at Victor who stares up at him with fear and hope shining in those sapphire eyes. The eventer takes his hand a squeezes. “Я в тебя верю.”

Yuuri’s name is called and he has to let go of his lover’s hand to trot Eros into the arena. When they get to the starting point, the bell rings and he urges his horse into a canter, sending the mare in a circle to pick up a steady pace. He turns to the arena fence as he does so, immediately finding Victor staring at him. The hope in those eyes reaches him and Yuuri blows the eventer a kiss before turning back to his horse and sending her towards the first jump.

What happens after that beginning fence is a blur of adrenaline and mindless movement. His body knows the course, knows the strides and the speed and the strength needed for each jump. It rides with a confidence he’s never felt and a perfection only a champion could achieve. Under him, Eros hardly sweats, hardly loses her breath. She runs and jumps and soars as if it’s what she was made to do.

They end with a perfect course, 0.6 points ahead of the second place rider. The entire crowd is cheering, but one voice sounds above the rest, and it cheers in Russian.

***

MORE SAFERION ART, I'M CRYING. Go give her all the love; <http://saferion.tumblr.com/>

All Yours:

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Это нормально, Юрий. Вы собираетесь быть удивительным - Russian for "It's okay, Yuuri. You're going to be amazing."  
> Browband - piece of the bridle that's connected to either side and crosses over the horse's forehead, under the ears  
> Two point - another term for jumping position because only two points of the body are touching the horse (either the legs and the hands or the thighs and the calves, I don't remember which)  
> B jump - a replacement jump on a cross country course for a rider to jump if their horse refuses  
> Я в тебя верю - I have faith in you.  
> P.S. Don't tell Yuuri, but the browband and riding jacket have real Swarovski crystals embedded in them


	17. In Regards to Love: Agape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If they want to complain, fine. Yuuri’ll make them all jealous that Victor Nikiforov is devoted to him and him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! We're moving into plot #2. I'm so excited for this! More character exploration is ahead, WHOO!!  
> For now, enjoy. <3  
> P.S. Over 3000 hits! That's insane!! Thank you guys SO MUCH!!!

“ _Yu-_ uri…” a voice coos in his ear. “Time to get up.”

“Nooooo…” he groans, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. “What time is it?”

“For you it’s about two in the afternoon. In St. Petersburg, it’s eight in the morning and Yakov will scold us if we’re not at the barn by nine. I’ve never been late a day in my life, and I’m not starting now.”

Yuuri turns his head to rest his cheek on the pillow and peeks his eyes open to find Victor smiling sweetly at him.

“Hi,” Yuuri smiles back.

“Morning, моя любовь.” Victor kisses him. “If I bring you coffee, will you get up?”

Yuuri nods.

“Okay.” Victor picks his glasses up from the nightstand, cleaning them quickly, and Yuuri lets him put them on him. Another kiss is pressed to his lips. “I’ll be right back.”

Victor ruffles his hair before leaving their room. Yuuri sticks his nose into the pillow again, breathing in his lover’s comforting scent before sitting up and stretching.

Victor’s St. Petersburg apartment is stark and simple; whites and blues and grays all in soft pastels that give the feeling of a utopian future. One wall of the bedroom is covered in shelves that are devoted entirely to the rider’s ribbons and trophies, framed pictures of Victor and Makkachin next to the award they won in the photo. Next to Victor’s first Rolex trophy is the ribbon and trophy Yuuri won at the Nationals, a photo of him and Eros standing next to it.

The past 72 hours come rushing into his memory and Yuuri smiles at the thought of the moment that started it all.

He and Victor had gone into Hasetsu for dinner the day after the Nationals, walking to the castle afterwards ‘cause the eventer wanted to take a picture. They had sat down on a bench near the castle, looking out over the river and town lit up at night.

“Yuuri?” Victor had asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes, Vitya?” Yuuri loved the way he always blushed when he calls him that.

“It’s been a year since I first got here,” Victor had begun. “And I have to start training Makkachin for the Olympics next summer.”

“Oh…” Yuuri had turned to look at his gloved hands.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to Russia.”

There was nothing for Yuuri to choke on, but he had choked anyway.

“Are you serious?” He’d stared at the other rider in disbelief.

Victor had smiled at him. “Of course. I already talked to my coach and he’s willing to help train you and Eros for the Classics. Two of his other riders are competing in it, so there’s no problem and you’ll have people to practice with. The barn is huge; there are always empty stalls, so there’ll be no problem accommodating Eros.”

“Where will _I_ stay?” Yuuri had asked.

Victor had giggled at his question. “With me, silly. I have an apartment in St. Petersburg that’s just a short drive from the stable.”

“It’ll be just us?”

Victor nodded. “Mhmm.”

Yuuri still can’t believe what he had been offered that night. A professional coach, practice mates, and a place for just him and Victor.

“So, will you come with me?”

Yuuri had thrown his arms around his lover and shouted a resounding ‘YES!’ that he’s sure people heard across the river. They had kissed on that park bench before heading back to Yu-topia, the picture of the castle completely forgotten.

The next few days had been a blur. They had spent nearly an entire day packing everything, Victor constantly finding things that he swore he needed to bring back with them. Getting the horses’ things together was a disaster and having them ready for the plane ride was another hassle.

Everything after that Victor had already taken care of. They gave their horses a hug and a treat before they were put into the travel stalls that were put in the belly of the plane. The eventer had gotten them first class tickets which gave them access to a premium area of the airport with a five star restaurant and spa. They ate dinner and got their nails done before getting on the plane and sleeping against each other the whole time.

Yesterday, Victor’s coach Yakov had been there to pick them and the horses up from the airport. He’s a grumpy old man, but was kind to Yuuri and happy to see Victor. They got Makkachin settled into his stall and Eros into one right next to him, the other riders in the fancy stable coming up to say hi to Victor while casting confused looks at Yuuri. The kinder ones introduced themselves as Georgi and Mila, explaining that they're the other riders competing in the Classics.

After stopping at the barn, Yakov had driven them to Victor’s apartment in St. Petersburg, the other rider pointing out different areas and landmarks of the city to Yuuri along the way. Victor had insisted upon carrying him bridal style over the threshold of the apartment to giggles from Yuuri and grumbles from Yakov.

They had said goodbye to the coach, promising to be at the barn at nine the next morning. By then it was midnight, Victor incredibly tired but Yuuri unable to fall asleep. He unpacked until three in the morning when he could hardly keep his eyes open. He had curled up next to Victor in bed, the other rider wrapping his arms around Yuuri in his sleep, and fallen into a deep slumber almost immediately.

Now, five hours later, Victor carries two cups of coffee into their bedroom, handing the black one to Yuuri and keeping the sugary milk concoction for himself.

“I went out to the bakery down the street,” Victor says, sipping his coffee and absentmindedly brushing through Yuuri’s hair. “There are fresh pirosky in the kitchen.”

“Can’t we just stay in bed today?” Yuuri asks him. “I’m tired.”

“I know, моя любовь,” Victor scoots closer to him, wrapping his free arm around Yuuri. “Why don’t we go in to take care of the horses and exercise them quickly? If Yakov doesn’t need us, we can come home and relax the rest of the day. Okay?”

Yuuri makes a face behind the lip of his mug, but reluctantly nods. He accepts Victor’s happy kiss and allows his boyfriend to lead him into the kitchen just off the living room. They eat pirosky at the breakfast bar, Yuuri having three more cups of coffee as they talk. They get ready in the bathroom together, Victor taking longer than him because he can’t go five seconds without pressing toothpaste kisses to Yuuri’s shoulders.

“Vitya!” He calls from the closet in their bedroom. “Where are our riding clothes?”

“Oh!” Victor sticks his head in the room. “I forgot to show you. Follow me!”

Yuuri’s face is stuck in a frown as he follows Victor down the hall past the bathroom to a pair of double doors. The eventer opens them with a flourish and flicks on a light switch.

“Welcome to the equestrian closet!” Victor’s heart-shaped smile is back in place as he gestures to the room beyond the doors.

Yuuri’s jaw drops.

The room is almost as big as their bedroom, but is laid out exactly like a closet with clothing racks on the walls and shelves above them. Down the center of the room is a long bench. On the clothing racks are more riding clothes than Yuuri could ever wear in a lifetime. Solid colored jodhpurs and shirts are down the left wall and patterned ones are down the right, everything color coordinated. The only plain-ish clothes are on the far wall and even those have diamond buttons or silk trim.

On the shelves above the clothes are saddle pads, horse boots, and helmets. They’re meticulously folded and organized over the color and pattern they match with. The floor underneath the clothing rack is lined with a dozen saddles and hanging next to the show clothes are bridles, all of them different shades of brown and black leather, some of the bridle straps decorated with gems and pearls.

“Are those jodhpurs covered in sequins?” Yuuri turns to his boyfriend, completely bewildered. “Victor, what the hell _is_ this?!”

“This is where I keep my riding equipment,” Victor explains, stepping inside and running his hands along the garments. “The tack doesn’t fit in my part of the tack room at the stable and the clothes started to overflow in my regular closet.”

“I can see why.”

Victor laughs.

“This is… insane.” Yuuri follows the other rider’s lead and starts looking through the clothes. “How much did all this cost?”

Victor shrugs. “I’ve never had to worry about it.” He goes back to the clothes. “What do you want to wear today? Something pink, maybe purple? You’re about my size and there are belts if the waist is too wide.”

“Oh my god.” Yuuri stops in his tracks. “Is this why you got me those silver jodhpurs?”

He holds up a pair of pants for Victor to see; identical to Yuuri’s shiny pair except colored gold.

Victor smirks. “Maybe. I hung your stuff up over here while you were still sleeping.”

They decide on matching black jodhpurs and leather tack, Victor in a pink long-sleeved shirt while Yuuri wears a blue one. It takes them several trips to get the tack and their equipment bags into the eventer’s car parked outside. Just before they leave, Yuuri shoves a helmet into Victor’s hands.

“You are wearing that from now on, or I’m going back to Japan.”

Victor pouts. “But, my hair…”

“I’ll brush it for you!”

It dawns on Yuuri as they’re driving to the stable that everyone there is gonna know what’s written on the back of the jacket he’s wearing. They’ll know he’s Victor’s and that Victor is his. Will they blame him for their friend and barn mate leaving for a year? He didn’t ask Victor to go to Japan to rest Makkachin and… was _never_ expecting to fall in love or get fallen in love with. But here they are, holding hands in Victor’s car on the way to the stable from _their_ apartment.

If they want to complain, fine. Yuuri’ll make them all jealous that Victor Nikiforov is devoted to him and him alone.

Victor pulls into the Russian stable’s long drive, weaving through a stretch of trees before the barn appears before them. It amazes Yuuri just as much as it did the other day. The building is huge, blocking out the rising sun as they get closer. Victor goes to park around the side and the stable seems to go on forever. Like before, it takes them multiple trips to get everything to their horses’ stalls. Every time he steps into the barn, Yuuri stops and stares.

The floor is tiled in a pretty red and brown pattern, wide enough for a truck to drive through it comfortably. The stalls are almost twice as big as the ones at Yu-topia. Horses with perfectly clipped manes and shining coats stand inside, being fed by stablehands or tacked up by their owners. The stable branches off into multiple different hallways, and Yuuri would be lost if Victor weren’t there to show him the way.

The riders with their horses in the cross ties and from the stalls stare at them as they go by, their eyes lingering on the Yuuri’s back. He lets them stare, readjusting the bag on his shoulder and snaking his free arm around Victor’s waist. The other rider takes the incentive and presses their sides together as they walk, draping his arm over Yuuri’s shoulder and letting him kiss the eventer’s cheek. They’ve completely forgotten about the other riders by the time all their stuff is at their horses’ stalls.

“Morning, Eros,” Yuuri greets the mare as he enters her new home. She happily blows air in his face and he hardly has time to blow back before she’s nuzzling at him.

Victor chuckles from the stall next door, grinning just beyond the bars separating them.

They take their times brushing their horses and picking out their hooves. Victor show Yuuri the hayloft and where the feed is kept. They brought bags of Yu-topia’s horse food with them and now Eros has her own bin with her name written on top. They let their horses eat while they take care of their tack.

“Vitya!”

They both look up to the barking voice and find Yakov stomping down the aisle towards them.

“Morning, Yakov!” Victor smiles as his coach draws near. “How was your night?”

“Where were you a half hour ago?” The man barks again, getting right into his student’s face. “You were supposed to be at practice, didn’t you read the board?”

“Yakov, I got back last night.” Victor’s voice is surprisingly calm. “Both Yuuri and I are terribly jetlagged; we’re gonna need a few days to get settled before we begin heavy training.”

“You were gone for a year, you’ve had enough rest!” Yakov presses his fingers to his temples. “I told you that you shouldn’t have left. Being in Japan made you lazy again, after I had to beat it out of you!”

Yuuri sees Victor’s shoulders tense under his jacket. The man is livid, yet manages a calm tone. “I did that for the good of my horse, Yakov.”

“You could have rested him here!”

“You know that was never going to work out.”

Yuuri wants to step in and stop their argument, to apologize to Yakov or tell Victor that he doesn’t mind if they begin training today. He’s about to when he notices someone down the aisle staring at them.

The boy is young, just about sixteen, and several inches shorter than Yuuri. He has platinum blond hair that falls straight to his shoulder, piercing blue eyes glaring right at him. The boy stands beside a massive gray horse, at least seventeen hands if not more and clearly some sort of clydesdale or draft mix. Yuuri gives the boy a smile, waving politely, but he just gets a disgusted look in return before the boy goes back to grooming his horse.

Yakov is grumbling when Yuuri pays attention to his boyfriend and coach once more. “You have until Friday to get settled. The Olympics are in just over a year, Vitya. You should have started training for them instead of going on a love crusade.” With that, the old man storms off.

Victor is breathing heavily, huffing in an anger Yuuri has never seen in him before. He puts his arms around his boyfriend, letting the other rider nuzzle into his neck and cling to him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” Victor’s voice is muffled against his skin.

“Don’t be.” Yuuri runs his hand through his favorite silky silver hair. “I was the one who wanted to be lazy this first day.”

They stay that way for a few more seconds, Yuuri unable to ignore the revolted look he gets from the blond boy down the aisle.

“Morning, lovebirds!”

There are suddenly strong arm around them both, lifting them into the air with a squeeze.

“Mila!” Victor scowls at her as she laughs, setting them down again.

Yuuri laughs himself when he sees her shirt; ‘nobody knows I’m a lesbian’ written across her chest in bold, proud letters. “I like your shirt.”

“It seems counterproductive, but it actually sends a clear message: stay away boys, this is just for the ladies.” She winks at him and he laughs again.

“Mila!” Georgi appears down the aisle. “We’re supposed to be practicing dressage!”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” She turns to Victor. “I was thinking about how confusing it would be to have two Yuris in the barn, so I came up with an alternative.” What she says next is shouted down the hallway. “Hi, Yuri- _o_!”

The blond boy turns to them with a new rage in his blue eyes. “ _That’s not my name, hag!_ ”

Mila laughs once more. “I look forward to training with you, Yuuri.” She says to him with a sweet smile before following Georgi around the corner.

Victor and Yuuri get their horses tacked up, and the eventer takes the other rider on a tour of the grounds. The barn is huge, sprawling fields fenced in by huge pastures and a cross country course set up over the far hill. Past the course is an apple orchard, completely open to the riders and their horses if they decided to get a snack. Victor explains how he got caught stealing once and he charmed his way out of the situation, convincing the orchard owner to let him take apples whenever he wanted.

They trot and canter between the rows of fruit trees, racing occasionally and kissing whenever they get close enough. They pick apples as they go, putting them in their pockets for later or giving them to their horses. Makkachin waits patiently for Victor to pick him an apple and hold it out before eating. Eros doesn’t have his patience, snatching an apple (and branch) from the trees when Yuuri tries to pick her one.

They get back to the barn a few leisurely hours later, taking their time to cool off their horses and brush them down. The apples are distributed to the other horses around the barn when their owners aren’t looking, two for Georgi and Mila’s horses Carabosse and Sala. Victor introduces Yuuri to all the horses, giving their discipline and the personality of their riders. They get fresh hay and feed Makkachin and Eros for the night. While Yuuri is taking his time to measure out his mare’s dinner, the boy Mila teased with the name Yurio comes into the room, closing the door with a bang behind him.

“Hi.” Yuuri gives the boy a nervous smile, scooping more of Eros’s feed into her bucket. He can feel the pierce of those eyes stinging him from behind.

“You should go back to Japan, fatso,” the boy snarls at him.

Yuuri pauses in his scooping, turning timidly to the teenager. “… what?”

“I’ve been training under Yakov for ten years. He promised me a place on his team as long as I worked hard for it, and now Victor’s pig comes along and gets a free spot with no work?” The boy makes a face. “I should be competing in the Classics, not you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll be back in your own country by tomorrow morning-”

“Yurio.”

The voice Yuuri loves most is calmly furious from where he stands in the doorway. “ _Never_ speak to Yuuri that way again.” Victor walks in and takes his boyfriend’s hand. “If I hear you being disrespectful to my дружок again, Yakov will hear about it.”

“What do I care, geezer?” Yurio spits at him. “You’ve already won him enough trophies. I’ll prove your дружок as worthless as his owner.”

With that, the boy leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> дружок - Russian for "boyfriend"  
> Don't know if ya'll know this, but I have a great disdain for the actions of a certain character. Can you guess who it is?


	18. Teenagers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor thinks a moment, continuing to brush through his hair. “The boy has been training under Yakov for longer than I have; ten years, I think. He’s too young to get into the competitions he wants to and therefore is bratty with the older riders who can. He especially hates me because I’ve won so many of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o!!  
> A little news; this month is fem-slash February and I'd love to do some stuff for it because I am a lesbian myself and I hate the lack of f/f love on AO3. So, I'll be doing some Sala/Mila and cis-swap!Victuuri smut, along with a short cis-swap Victuuri fic, maybe with mermaids.  
> In the mean time enjoy, lovelies!!  
> P.S. I know ya'll are gonna be confused about the smut thing because I made such a big deal about being ace and not writing smut for this fic, but I'm gay and I like vagina so writing about penis is uncomfortable for me while writing about vagina isn't. Got it? Good.

The next morning, they have their horses tacked up and in the massive indoor arena at 9:30 sharp. Mila and Georgi bring their horses in while Victor and Yuuri warm up. The eventer constantly trots past his boyfriend, pressing quick kisses to his cheek. Mila teases the other Russian rider, telling him he’ll fall off if he keeps doing that. It’s just a joke until Victor actually falls off Makkachin when he tries to kiss Yuuri on the lips.

Georgi’s gelding Carabosse is a handsome black brown boy who he works incredibly well with. They seamlessly work through the flat, moving from gait to gait with ease. Mila and her mare Sala also work seamlessly as a pair. The Russian rider told Yuuri the story behind her horse’s name and it took him five minutes to stop laughing. She had named the horse Sara after her long-distance girlfriend, but the r became an l on the form for their first show. The name stuck when Sara found the story so funny that she named her new horse Mira in response.

Yakov enters the arena with Yurio trailing after him, a woman that Yuuri recognizes as the other coach Lilia trying to take the boy away.

“Yakov, none of this is fair!” the teenager is yelling at the coach.

“Yuratchka, you’re not old enough for the Classics, nor would you be qualified for it.” The old man’s voice is surprisingly calm.

“I’ve been working under you for almost my whole life! I’m better than most of the riders here, and I’m certainly better than that pig!”

Yuuri freezes, Eros following his lead, and he stares towards the boy, hanging his head slightly.

Yakov stares down at the boy with a cold look. “I’ll be the judge of that. Learn to care more about the sport you play than the trophies you may earn. _Then_ I might let you ride in the Classics in three years.”

Yurio growls at his coach and finally allows Lilia to drag him away.

Yakov turns to the other riders who have stopped their horses and are staring. “Begin a posting trot. We’ll be riding with no stirrups today.”

Yuuri crosses his stirrups over the front of his saddle before doing what his coach asks. His thighs begin to burn after just a few minutes of riding without them. He ignores it when he sees the perfection with which the other riders handle it, Victor the easiest of them all. The eventer is joining them in their training until he needs to advance ahead of them to the Olympic level.

He trots Makkachin over to Yuuri and says to him quickly, “This is how he tests everyone when they first come in. It won’t get harder after this.”

“Vitya, if you’re going to flirt with Mr. Katsuki, would you please do it elsewhere?” Yakov calls from the center of the arena.

Victor circles away from Yuuri, blowing him a kiss as he goes.

They work on the flat for half an hour, letting the horses walk often to relax their backs from the constant bouncing of their riders. Yuuri’s thighs finally get to ease their tension a little when they get ready to start jumping, moving their horses over to one side of the arena to stay out of the way of the course.

“You shouldn’t have to rely solely on your stirrups to stay in the saddle,” Yakov begins as he adjusts the jumps to just under a meter. “Riding without them will force you to move with your horse to keep your balance and supporting yourself with your legs. It’ll also force you to slow down and think about your strides and position.” He claps his hands when he finishes. “We’ll start with a simple course and work our way up to thirteen fences.”

Yuuri’s legs are trembling when he dismounts, actually falling onto his butt when his feet hit the ground. Mila is laughing uncontrollably as Victor helps him up and Eros gives him comforting nuzzles. Yakov stops him on his way out.

“You did well today,” he says, giving Yuuri the first smile he’s ever seen on the man’s face. “I thought Victor was blinded by his feelings when he told me about your skill as a rider, but now I can see that he was being genuine. You and Eros are a fantastic pair.”

“Thank you, sir,” Yuuri says before following the others out of the arena.

 

Every night after they eat dinner and shower, Yuuri and Victor relax by brushing out each other’s hair. Tonight, they do it in their shared bath that’s almost 40% epsom salts to help relax their muscles.

Victor lays against Yuuri’s chest as he runs a comb and his fingers through his boyfriend’s silvery hair. The water’s comforting heat has cooled to a lukewarm temperature, and Yuuri finds himself shivering occasionally despite the heat of the body pressed against his. He shouldn’t be as surprised as he is that the bathtub can fit them both as easily as it does.

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“Should we get a dog?”

He stops in brushing Victor’s hair to stare at him. “Vitya, we have two horses to take care of. Do you really think we can take care of a dog as well?”

Victor sighs, “You’re right… Do you think we could extend the apartment so Makkachin and Eros can stay here?”

Yuuri laughs so hard at this question that some of the bath water splashes onto the tiled floor. Later, Yuuri takes Victor’s place to sit before his boyfriend in the tub, lazily moving his hands through the water while the eventer runs the comb slowly through his hair.

“Why does Yurio hate me?”

Victor sighs. “He doesn’t hate you. Honestly, I think he’s angrier at Yakov but has decided to take his anger out on you.”

“Why?” Yuuri turns to look at him over his shoulder.

Victor thinks a moment, continuing to brush through his hair. “The boy has been training under Yakov for longer than I have; ten years, I think. He’s too young to get into the competitions he wants to and therefore is bratty with the older riders who can. He especially hates me because I’ve won so many of them.”

“And he hates me because I’ve taken a place he knows should be his.”

Victor makes a face. “In theory, yes. But Yurio is too impulsive when he rides, often cutting his corners during jumping courses and going way too fast during cross country. And that impatience always hurts his dressage routines. I feel for that horse of his. Poor Agape hardly gets a break.”

Yuuri twirls a long strand of his hair between his fingers. “… am I any better?”

Victor stops in his brushing, hands settling to his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Yuuri, you’re the most hardworking, patient, perfect rider I’ve ever seen. You won a National competition at the highest level. Honestly, you should be competing in the Olympics next year with me.”

Yuuri chuckles. “Like _that_ would ever happen.”

“It will. One day, you and Eros are gonna kick my ass in the Olympics, and I will gladly polish your gold medal every day.” Yuuri giggles at the kisses Victor presses to the back of his neck. “Yurio could train for a thousand years and never be as good as you.”

Yuuri blushes, turning to press his own kisses to Victor’s lips.

“I’m gonna teach Makkachin to bite him. That’ll teach him for being mean to моя любовь.”

 

The next few weeks find Victor surpassing the three other riders in level and moving on to train separately with Lilia when Yakov isn’t available. The weather warms and they go out to train on the cross country course. The one at the Russian stable is much more similar to what is actually seen at a competition than the one at Yu-topia. Mila laughs at how excited Eros always is to go through water jumps, and Georgi and Carabosse outshine them both when it comes to speed and endurance. They spend a lot of time cantering or galloping alongside the course without going over any jumps. It doesn’t take long for Eros to get more comfortable going over the grassy terrain.

The days in May when it’s colder find them back in the indoor arena, either practicing combination jumps, oxars, or their dressage routines. Sala and Mila shine in their dressage routine, moving more fluidly together than Yuuri could ever dream of. He has his own time in the spotlight during show jumping. While the other two knock at least one or two rails, Yuuri and Eros always have clean rounds without coming close to getting a fault.

His favorite thing of all is how much closer he and Victor seem to get every day. Yuuri realizes one day while they’re out in town on a weekend date that they’ve spent every day for the past fifty-six weeks together, almost half that time as a couple. He can’t imagine spending another one without the other rider by his side. They spend their nights watching each other’s favorite movies and TV shows or ignoring them to make out instead. Their weekends are full of dates to museums and walks around St. Petersburg and leisurely rides through the orchard. Every morning, Yuuri wakes up to a cup of coffee and a kiss. Every night, he stays up scrolling through his phone while Victor cuddles to his side. He’s starting to feel that if he had to spend any time apart from his lover, he’d physically shatter.

Maybe they should get married.

It's been on Yuuri's mind ever since Victor told him about his best friend Chris' wedding. He finds himself staring at jewelry stores and the rings inside, even doing research on the proposal traditions of Russian and the Western world. The idea is terrifying but still all too exciting for him to ignore completely.

The whole experience appears perfect and would be if it weren’t for one thing: Yurio’s constant abuse.

Agape’s stall is just a few meters away from Eros and Makkachin’s, so every time Victor walks away to get something or talk to someone, Yurio is in Yuuri’s face or calling him ‘pig’ or ‘fatso’ or other things from where his horse stands on the crossties. It feels like a needle is stuck into his skin every time he hears one of those words or looks into those malicious blue eyes, so different from the sky blue eyes he loves so much.

Yuuri spends a lot of time in the apartment’s bathroom, sitting on the toilet or edge of the bathtub. He taps his feet and holds his head in his hands and thinks about those words over and over again. After a week, he begins scratching at his arm whilst doing so. Yuuri can’t find it in himself to fight back against the boy because everything he says is true.

Yuuri _is_ fat, Yuuri _is_ a pig, Yuuri _doesn’t_ deserve to be in the group going to the Classics, Yuuri _doesn't_ deserve Victor so why would he ever consider asking for his hand? He’s begun doubting why he came here in the first place, considering going back home and leaving his would-be fiancé without an explanation. His hands always shake too much for him to actually finalize buying a ticket whenever he looks for flights back to Japan. Those thoughts and actions have kept Yuuri from sleeping well at night and his mind often wanders during his days out with Victor. His boyfriend is concerned whenever he finds him in those states, but always deems them to be anxiety instead of their true diagnosis.

Maybe Yurio is right. Maybe Yuuri should go back to Japan tomorrow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have actually fallen on my ass when dismounting. It was embarrassing and hilarious.


	19. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ride her like we aren’t here,” Yakov tells him. “You and her are one in the same. When you ride like that, you’re perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Guess whose best friend hates them because of the last chapter!  
> I'm currently working on both smut pieces for fem!slash February and I've got to plan out the short mermaid!AU fic before I can really get to writing it. I think it's only gonna be 3-4 chapters.  
> In the mean time, enjoy the chapter! I hope this makes up for the last one.

One day in early June, Yuuri is carting a wheelbarrow full of Makkachin and Eros’s manure to the pile out back of the stable when he notices a single pair of rider and horse in one of the outdoor arenas. He recognizes the two immediately as Yurio and Agape. They sail over jumps at an impressive speed, getting over fences flawlessly without needing to swing out into the corners. The power in the horse’s muscles is amazing and the way with which his young rider steers and urges him forward is unlike anything Yuuri has ever seen.

Lilia and an old man stand by the arena, talking occasionally. The old man seems too enraptured in Yurio’s riding to pay much attention to the woman at his side. When the pair finish the course, the teenager stops his horse by the two adults. Yuuri turns away, a familiar pang in his chest, walking back to the barn without seeing their reactions.

 

“Yakov, I’d like you to give Yurio my place on the Classics team.”

“Excuse me?” The old man stares at him with complete bewilderment.

Things haven’t been getting better for Yuuri emotionally. What the young rider spits at him on a daily basis has been harming his focus and therefore his riding, making Eros antsy and constantly run out of jumps. The scratching has gotten to the point where his skin is always red in that one spot and he wears long sleeves even in the warm weather to avoid anyone asking him questions. Victor has been trying to figure out what’s wrong, but he avoids talking about it every time his boyfriend tries to bring it up. What he witnessed earlier was his breaking point.

“I saw him riding this morning.” Yuuri fiddles with his fingers nervously. “He and Agape are a fantastic pair. He’d do so much better in the Classics than I could. He should be going… not me.”

Yakov looks Yuuri up and down, eyes seemingly trying to dissect him. “Tack up Eros and be in the arena in half an hour.” He walks off without another word.

Yuuri follows the old man’s instructions, stepping into the arena with his mare later to find the other Classics competitors and Yurio getting onto their horses already. Agape is outfitted in leopard print boots and saddle blanket, the jacket his rider wears matching them. Yurio sends Yuuri a cocky grin as he walks Eros to where Mila and Georgi stand with their horses.

“Hi, Yuuri,” Mila smiles sweetly at him. “Do you know why Yurio’s here?”

He just shrugs in response. They all get warmed up and wait patiently for their coach, who arrives and begins setting up 1.25 meter high jumps.

“Are you all aware of the IEA team we have here in St. Petersburg?” Yakov asks as he calculates the strides between two jumps in a line. They all answer in the negative. “IEA teams travel to other barns and compete on the horses at that stable. They compete a level beneath what they’d be on their own horses.”

“What does this have to do with the Classics?” Yurio asks, clearly bored from how he leans over Agape’s neck.

“IEA jumping tests have a very simple set up; a horse and rider jump a few starting fences. They’ll stop, get a moment’s advice from their coach, and proceed with the full course.” Yakov finishes setting up the fences. “I’d like to try this exercise with all of you. You’ll jump a course and will be scored using the IEA standards.”

“That sounds stupid,” Yurio mumbles.

Mila goes first, doing perfect by Yuuri’s standards except for the slight clipping of a diagonal fence. Yakov calls out her score to be a 65.

“Why is it so low?” she asks her coach as she walks Sala back to the rest of the group.

“It’s impossible to get a perfect 100,” Yakov explains. “An 80 is a miraculous score. You did very well, Mila.”

Georgi and Carabosse do well as well, getting a 67. When it’s Yurio’s turn, he sends Agape forward with a whip of his crop and Yuuri flinches. He gets over the practice fences the fastest of them all, pulling his horse to a stop in front of Yakov.

“Ride him out into the corners and count your strides,” his coach says almost forcefully, as if desperately trying to make his student listen. “Try to use your crop less.”

Yurio rolls his eyes and sends Agape around the course, ignoring Yakov’s advice. The pair jump the fences perfectly and as fast as possible. They zip around turns faster than bullets and end in record time. Yakov is shaking his head when he announces the rider’s score as a 45.

“What?!” Yurio is livid.

“You didn’t listen to what I said,” Yakov begins. “Show jumping is about taking your time and being careful. Save your bravery for cross country. If you’re not careful, a mistake could be made and a pole could be knocked over. That or you could get hurt. You need to learn to be patient, count strides, and be as efficient as possible.”

Yuuri goes last, and he’s trembling when Yakov looks to him. The gentle squeeze of his heels is all Eros needs to pick up a steady and strong canter. They leap the practice fences effortlessly, the synced movement of their bodies helping to relax the rider slightly. The mare comes to a halt in front of Yakov, Yuuri awaiting his instructions.

“Ride her like we aren’t here,” Yakov tells him. “You and her are one in the same. When you ride like that, you’re perfect.”

Yuuri nods, hands still shaking slightly, and sends Eros forward once more.

They head for the first jump, the rider pointing his horse to the center of the fence and then looking past it. One, two, one, two, three they jump the fence as one and land softly to continue smoothly to the next jump. Around the turn to the diagonal line, Yuuri’s eyes twitch to the side and he sees Yurio scowling at him. His legs clenched around Eros’s barrel, who snorts at him and barely makes it over both jumps well.

Somehow, Victor is in his peripheral vision, and Eros is nickering in her sweet voice. The two things Yuuri loves most in the world surround him: the man he wants to marry standing nearby with arms ready to comfort him if need be and the horse he instantly connected with always there to support him and carry him through their problems. He takes a few deep breaths in time with Eros's strides, finally fully relaxing.

Yuuri straightens his back, lifts his eyes, and rides.

There’s no sign of the pang when he and Eros come to a halt at the end of their course. All the other riders stare at him; Mila and Georgi amazed, Yurio confused. Yakov grins at him as the pair walk back to the others.

“78,” the coach calls out.

Yuuri nearly chokes.

“It would have been higher, but your diagonal line was a bit weak.” Yakov turns to the other riders. “Yurio, you’re excused. Let’s try that again, Mila.”

“I’m _what_?!” the teenager is furious.

“You heard me.” Yakov’s voice is firm. “Dismount and put Agape away. When you can learn to ride with the patience and humility of Katsuki Yuuri, I will let you ride in the Classics.”

Yurio looks towards Yuuri, expression surprisingly blank yet cold. The teenager huffs before doing as his coach says, leading Agape out of the arena. He watches the young rider go and finds Victor standing at the entrance to the barn, smiling at him warmly and proud. Yuuri smiles back, feeling a knot in his stomach finally come loose.

No more secrets.

 

Later that night, Yuuri brings Victor into the bathroom and sits him down on the edge of the bathtub where he’s spent many restless evenings.

“What’s this about, моя любовь?” Victor asks again, clearly confused as to why Yuuri grabbed his arm and brought him here without a word.

He sighs, free hand trembling and heart racing. “I hate keeping secrets from you, so I need to tell you some things now.”

Victor is silent for a moment. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Pfft!” Yuuri bends forward against his lover’s chest as he laughs. “Vitya… th-that’s biologically impossible.”

“Just making sure,” Victor grins.

That smile helps Yuuri relax a little. “I’ve loved being here with you... but Yurio hasn’t made it easy.”

“That little-”

“It’s not entirely his fault,” Yuuri cuts in before Victor goes off on a tirade. “I’m overly sensitive and anxiety and depression run in my family. It’s been fine as long as I’m in a positive environment, but…”

“But Yurio makes this one negative.”

Yuuri nods, turning away from Victor before speaking again. “I’d come in here to sit where we are and think about what he said. I felt worthless, like I didn’t deserve to be here or to have you and it was torture. I even considered going back to Japan...”

Yuuri can hear the horror in Victor's next words. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

"I didn't want you to worry." Yuuri looks up to him, throat tightening at the look in those eyes.

"I'm _always_ worried about you, that's my job." Victor sighs, closing his eyes. "... I was so scared that you were hurting yourself."

"Well, it's nothing like what you're thinking, but-" Yuuri rolls up the sleeve of his sweater, revealing the red spot on the underside of his arm, little scratches and scabs criss-crossing over his skin. “I did scratch myself. It kinda helped to... take my mind off everything.”

Victor’s gasp is delicate as he takes Yuuri’s arm into his hands and kisses the red spot. He looks to him with tears welling up in his diamond eyes. “I’m so relieved it’s not worse.” He pulls Yuuri into his arms.

He hugs Victor close. “I’m done with dealing with this in silence.”

Victor pulls back to look him in the eye. “I’ll help you however you need me to.”

Yuuri nods, wiping away the tears that slipped from Victor’s eyes. “There’s one more thing.”

The other rider looks at him with fear in his expression.

Yuuri forces himself to look into his favorite eyes as he says, “I love you.”

Victor cries harder than before, smiling like he’s looking at the most beautiful thing in the universe. “I was wondering when you would say that.”

Yuuri’s pulled close and kissed hard, the lips pressed to his salty and infinitely smiling. The most important words of his life are spoken against his mouth, the air used to say them filling his lungs and keeping him alive for ten more seconds, “I love you too.” This time, Yuuri is the one doing the close pulling and hard kissing. His own infinite smile is cemented to his face.

Victor pulls back to look at him once more, eyes suddenly worried again. "You're not actually going back to Japan, are you?"

Yuuri chuckles, running his hands through his lover's hair and shaking his head. "No. I'm staying right here with you."

Victor leans in to kiss him again and again, and there's only one thought on his mind; Yuuri is going to marry the fuck out of this man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	20. This Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you,” Victor whispers.  
> “I love you too,” Yuuri says back before kissing him again.  
> “Mmm,” Victor hums against his lips. “The Paris air got to you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentaine's Day, my lovelies!! It's amazing how random events can line up so perfectly, such as this day of love and the release of this chapter.  
> I'm still working on the fem!slash and tbh, I don't know if I'll have them done before the month is over. We'll see if On Horseback continues to take over my life. I have to prepare the next few chapters, so I hope this will hold you over until then.  
> Enjoy, my dear readers!  
> P.S. I feel bad that I didn't do anything for Victuuri week, so maybe this will meet some of those prompts!

The first Classics Event is the Les 4 Etoiles de Pau in France on October 22nd to the 24th. They’re flying to Paris to meet up with the other young riders before flying across the country to where the Event is held. Victor insists upon coming, refusing to let Yuuri or Yakov talk him out of it.

“I am _not_ missing моя любовь’s first International competition,” is his final argument. After that, they give up.

Yurio also comes with them at Yakov’s request for him to see what is required in a Classic’s rider so he can see firsthand what he needs to improve on. The teen spends the entire plane ride to Paris sitting apart from the others and sneering at Yuuri and Victor who are leaning over each other and watching movies together and staring out the window at the clouds and ground far below. Mila taps her foot nervously.

All the riders are staying at the same hotel near a stable that offered to house the horses for the night before they all go to Pau. The Russian riders and Yuuri enter the lobby after seeing their horses settled in, and Mila immediately abandons her suitcase to run across the space to where a small group is checking in. She wraps her arms around a young woman and lifts her into the air from behind, giggling like the happiest person on the planet. The woman shrieks in her arms, matching Mila’s giggles with her own.

When she’s put down, the girl turns to Mila and kisses her, laughing with joy in between their press of lips. This must be her long-distance girlfriend Sara. She had mentioned her and her brother were competing in the Classics and had taken a train to Paris from Italy.

“ _Yuuri_!”

He turns away from the happy girlfriends to find Phichit-kun running across the lobby to him from the doorway. Yuuri catches him in a surprised hug, happy to see his friend after a year and a half. They talk for a bit, Victor getting caught up in a conversation with Phichit about their horses. When Yakov comes back with the room keys, he takes the coach out of earshot of the other riders.

“What’s wrong, Yuuri?” Yakov asks when he sees the nervous look in the rider’s eyes.

“Nothing,” Yuuri says as honestly as he can considering the lilt in his voice. “Everything is far from wrong. It’s just… Victor told me about his parents and how you practically took him in so I figured it would be the best to do this with you.”

Yakov frowns at him, waiting for the rider to get to the point.

Yuuri takes a deep breath. “I’m going to ask Victor to marry me tonight, and I’d like to ask for your permission to do so.” He keeps going without waiting for the coach’s reaction. “It’s important in Japanese tradition to ask the parents because we believe that when two people get married, their families are married as well, and I read that it’s also important in Russian culture, so I figured that I better do it before-”

Yuuri’s cut off by Yakov’s hand settling on his shoulder. “Of course you can marry Vitya, Yuuri. I wouldn’t want anyone else taking care of him.”

He smiles up at Yakov, thanking him before returning to Phichit and his soon-to-be fiancé.

They get their room keys and head up together, Yuuri and Victor saying goodbye to the others before disappearing into their shared room, promising to meet them for dinner later. Victor immediately flops down onto the king-sized bed, snuggling into the fluffy hotel pillows. Yuuri smiles at his dork of a boyfriend before excusing himself to the ensuite bathroom.

He locks the door behind him and sits on the toilet seat lid, pulling a little box out of his coat pocket. He flips open the case to reveal two perfect gold rings nestled side-by-side in the black velvet. Yuuri’s planning to use his Classics winnings to pay off the credit debt he’s currently in because of these guys. He knows it’ll be worth it to see the look on Victor’s face.

It occurs to Yuuri in that moment that this is _actually_ happening. Today, October 20th, he’s going to spend all day in the city of love with the man of his dreams and then will propose to him at the base of the Eiffel Tower. He’s gone over what he’s going to say with Phichit-kun again and again, practiced it with Georgi, and gotten emotional support from Mila. Yuuri's already shaking. Is he even gonna be able to get out what he needs to say? Only one way to find out. He slips the box back into his pocket and goes out into the bedroom where Victor has already settled down and turned on the TV.

“Oh no, mister,” Yuuri scolds, turning off the screen to Victor’s complaints. “I’ve never been in Europe before; we’re going sightseeing.”

“But Yuuri-”

“Don’t ‘but Yuuri’ me,” he interrupts. “The flight was less than three hours and you slept through most of it. You can’t be _that_ tired.”

Victor pouts and Yuuri gives him his puppy eyes. The eventer gives in first.

They spend all day in Paris, starting with the Louvre and working their way around to the other famous spots. Yuuri insists that they go to the Eiffel Tower last because he wants to see the city at night.

They marvel at the frescos in the museum and spend an hour talking about Van Gogh’s work. They walk around Notre Dame to admire the architecture before going inside to look at the bells and discuss how _Hunchback_ is the best of the least-appreciated Disney movies. They stop at cafes for light snacks instead of having lunch because they know the other riders--specifically Chris--are going to order too much food later tonight. The sun goes down and they make their way to the Eiffel Tower, Yuuri’s heartbeat growing faster with every step. He wonders if Victor can hear it.

The elevator in the tower reminds Yuuri of a subway car with bars to hold on to and hardly any space to stand inside. Windows wrap around all the walls, letting them watch as they climb higher and higher into the sky. Victor clings to him on their way up, closing his eyes tight.

Yuuri chuckles. “Are you afraid of heights, darling?”

“No, just of… falling from them.”

“Don’t worry.” Yuuri kisses his cheek. “I’ll always be there to catch you.”

“Oh, моя любовь!” Victor kisses him deeply to the scattered cheers of those in the elevator.

“Wow, the Paris air must really be getting to you,” Yuuri giggles against his lips.

“Is it contagious?” Victor teases.

Yuuri blushes, feeling for the box in his pocket. “We’ll see.”

They take a smaller second elevator to the very top of the Tower, stepping out into the cold, October night air. The city looks amazing, streets lit up like rivers of liquid gold that spread out in all directions. The ground just beneath them is dark with a stretch of grass and trees, the areas of lamplight standing out like stars.

Yuuri turns to Victor and finds him entranced in the view, if holding tight to him in fear.

“I’ve been up here a dozen times,” Victor seemingly whispers. “Yet, I don’t think I’ve ever found it this beautiful.”

Yuuri smiles, running a hand over his lover’s cheek and turns his head to kiss him. The press of their lips is soft at first, quick and sweet. Yuuri stands up on the tips of his toes to deepen the kisses, loving the feeling of Victor’s tongue and taste against his. The arms of the eventer come around his waist and pull him closer, Yuuri careful to keep the box from pressing against Victor’s leg inside his pocket. They pull back just enough to press their foreheads together and breathe the same air.

“I love you,” Victor whispers.

“I love you too,” Yuuri says back before kissing him again.

“Mmm,” Victor hums against his lips. “The Paris air got to you too.”

When they’re back on the ground, they walk hand-in-hand to the small park across the street. Yuuri steers Victor over so they stand under one of the lamps, facing each other.

“Vitya,” Yuuri starts, stopping the second he looks into those diamond eyes. His throat is closing up and the words he practiced with Georgi are escaping his mind.

“Yes, Yuuri?” Victor’s smile is sweet and patient, cheeks pink from the cold.

“God, this is harder than I thought it would be,” Yuuri laughs nervously and lowers his eyes. He looks back up and laughs again at the wide-eyed look Victor gives him. “Thank you for everything up until now. If it weren’t for you… I never would have been able to move on from Vicchan or have Eros or… be as happy as I am now. And I-” he slips his hand into his pocket. “-never want to stop being this happy.”

Victor’s hands move to cover his mouth when he sees the box, keeping Yuuri from going down on his knee to hold him close. The rider has to hold the box up right between their faces to be able to open it. The first tear slides down the eventer’s face when he sees the rings.

“So, um…” Yuuri stumbles over his words. “I probably don’t need to say it at this point and I know the rings aren’t really a Russian thing, or that’s at least what one of the sources said so…” He looks into the eyes he loves most in the world which look back at him like they love _his_ the most. “Vitya, will you marry me?”

Victor can only nod, crying and smiling too much to speak. Their hands tremble as they slide the rings onto each other’s fingers, Yuuri nearly dropping his to the horrified shrieks of his fiancé. When Victor slides the ring into place on Yuuri’s hand, he immediately moves to kiss him deeper than he ever has before. He gasps as the eventer dips him backwards over his knee to kiss him more passionately. Someone whoops across the way.

Yuuri can’t stop smiling and laughing with glee when he’s back on his feet, virtually crushing Victor in his arms and lifting his fiancé into the air and swinging him around. People nearby have stopped to cheer and say their congratulations, more joining in when Victor screams **_”I’M GETTING MARRIED!”_ ** Yuuri swears the whole city heard that, but he doesn’t care. He wants to tell the entire world that his idol, a seven year world champion, is now his fiancé.

They’ll wait until later to post the news to Instagram.

 

As promised, they meet up with the other riders back at the lobby of the hotel to go out to dinner together. All thoughts of announcing their engagement go out the window when they enter the building to find Sara and Mila screaming at her brother Mickey, who screams back.

“You should have knocked! That’s what _manners_ are for!” Sara yells.

“I’m glad I didn’t!” Mickey counters. “It would have given you time to stop!”

“Mila is my girlfriend, Mickey, we’re allowed to have sex when we want to!”

“Why did you have a key to our room anyway?!” Mila butts in.

“To keep you from doing this nasty stuff!”

“I am a grown woman and you are _not my father!_ ”

“Viten’ka!”

Victor turns to the thickly accented voice and smiles wide. “Evening, Christophe!”

Chris Giacometti saunters across the lobby to where he and Yuuri stand, giving the eventer a hug. A man with shoulder-length brown hair follows close behind his competitor, taking his hand when he gets close. Yuuri notices the matching silver rings on their fingers.

Chris looks to him and smiles, something flickering in his eyes. “You must be Yuuri.” He holds out his hands for the other rider to shake. “Victor hardly stops talking about you these days.”

“It was the same with you and Sam when you first got together,” Victor teases his friend.

“Was it?” Chris’ partner asks after a chuckle.

Chris makes a face at Victor who smirks back.

The other young riders arrive over the next few minutes, greeting each other and introducing themselves to Yuuri. He knows them from watching the Classics every year, but meeting them in person is quite different from what he imagined. Mickey finally stops screaming at the two girls long enough to say hello, Sara following his lead. Emil arrives shortly after, immediately going to Mickey before greeting the new rider. He’s just as upbeat and cheerful as Yuuri remembers him being in interviews. Georgi comes down later, dodging Mickey’s attempts to say hi. Finally, Otabek Altin enters the lobby from outside, Yurio on his heals, the older of the two smiling softly as he listens to the young rider speak.

Once they’re all together, Phichit leads the group to a nearby restaurant that takes half an hour to seat them all. They wait patiently, Yuuri staying close to Victor and Phichit’s sides the whole time. Sara and Mila come over to talk to him halfway through, and he happily listens to the Italian rider talk about her horse Mira and tells her about Eros. When they’re seated, Chris orders champagne for the whole table to cheers.

The night goes on to laughter and bants about who is going to win the Etoiles de Pau.

“None of your thoroughbreds stand a chance against my Arabian mix,” Chris brags confidently.

“If she can’t get over the jumps, her endurance won’t matter,” Emil counters. “Anastasis has you all beat when it comes to presentation. Roans always do, blue roans especially so.”

“This isn’t a beauty contest,” Victor reminds him. “This is an Event to show off the-”

“‘Skills and gruelling training a horse and rider endure for months,’” multiple competitors finish for him.

“You say that every year,” Otabek pipes up from down the table.

Victor waves them off. “Alright, alright. Don’t blame me when you spend more time grooming than in the warm up arena.”

“Ha ha.” Chris’ eyes narrow at Victor, moving between the eventer and Yuuri at his side. “What’s with the rings, you two?”

Yuuri nearly chokes on his water, going red immediately. Victor perks up, holding out his hand for everyone to see the gold that glitters on his finger. “Yuuri proposed!”

Every living thing on the planet earth hears Phichit’s scream.

His best friend hugs him hard enough to squeeze the life out of him. The other riders get up to congratulate them both, the other people in the restaurant chiming in as well. Their waiter brings them a free bottle of champagne and pours the engaged couple a pair of drinks. They link arms to sip at their wine, Yuuri unable to look away from the eyes of his fiancé. His _fiancé_.

“When’s the wedding?” Phichit asks the second things settle down. “How soon do I need to start planning?”

“We’ll get married when Yuuri wins the Classics,” Victor answer.

“Vitya!” Yuuri scolds, looking timidly across the table.

The others laugh, Chris reaching out to pat the young rider on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We always joke like that. Still, you’re gonna have to wait a few years, because I’m gonna win the next few Classics while you’re at the Olympics, Nikiforov.”

The others butt in to tease the Swiss rider and Yuuri.

“Whose name will you take?” Sara asks. “Or will you combine them?”

“I like Katsuki-Nikiforov,” Victor sighs to himself. “It has a nice ring to it.”

“How’d you know you wanted to get married?” Emil asks. “Was it love at first sight?”

“Not really,” Yuuri blushes. “I’d never imagine we’d be getting married back then.”

Phichit snorts from beside him, chuckling as he says, “You sure about that, Yuuri?”

Chris joins in on his laughter while Victor blushes from behind the lip of his glass.

Yuuri frowns, looking between the three of them. “Am I missing something?”

“Mhmm,” Chris smirks. “Your memories of the night you met Viten’ka.”

“It was the middle of the day,” Yuuri corrects him. “He was standing in my dead horse’s stall.”

“Yuuri,” Victor takes his hand. “Chris and I went to your college for the 50th anniversary of the riding team. We attended the school for a year before Yakov offered to coach me.”

“I remember,” Yuuri recalls. “It was two days after I got the news about Vicchan. I heard you’d be coming and when I called to tell my mom, she told me.”

“You were so distraught, that night at the party-” Phichit laughs again. “-you drank sixteen glasses of champagne.”

Yuuri’s heart drops into his stomach. He’s only ever been terribly drunk twice in his life, and thankfully forgets everything the day after. He’s seen the videos of both instances enough times to know what happens when he does.

“Oh, god. What did I…?” He trails off, staring horrifyingly at the others.

“First, you started challenging everyone to a dance off,” Chris recalls. “We did ours on a pole… half naked.”

Yuuri shrieks.

“I won ours, of course," Phichit says proudly. "Then-"

"I helped get you back to your room when you passed out," Victor interrupts.

Yuuri jolts in his chair, hand gripping Victor’s arm tightly. “The posters… oh, god.” He buries his face in his fiance’s chest, images of the walls of his college dorm room flooding his mind. He looks up to his beloved. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Phichit told me that you didn't remember anything, so I decided not to,” Victor explains. "I’m glad I did considering how you’re reacting now. You probably would have hidden away from me in shame and we wouldn’t be getting married.”

"I still have pictures of that night if you want to see," Phichit teases, holding out his phone to Yuuri.

"No! No!" He pushes his friend's hand away.

Those three tease him for the rest of the night, Victor all the way until they're getting into bed. Yuuri stops his teasing with the threat of taking back his ring and dropping it from the hotel room window. He stops after that.

They settle into bed, curled up close, the rings on their hands clinking together as they link fingers before drifting to sleep.


	21. Victor's POV #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be entirely honest, he’s desperate for a break. Eventing has become a shackle around his neck, something he once felt immense joy in now becoming his biggest burden. Once one Classics ends, the next one begins, and the cycle of winning and endless fake smiles repeats itself.

The night of Victor’s seventh Rolex Kentucky win, he takes the other young riders out to dinner.

He and Chris have always gone out for BBQ after the Event as a tradition, and for the past few years they’ve invited the other young riders to come along. Tonight, they’re joined by Emil, Mickey, Mila, Otabek, Georgi, and the newest rider Phichit. Victor remembers him from an exhibition ride he did for the 50th anniversary of his college’s horseback riding team in Detroit. As they walk, Chris goes on and on about his honeymoon with his now husband Sam.

“At the end of everything, it honestly felt stupid to have argued over where to go at all,” Chris says to the rest of the group. “Backpacking through Europe is always a great choice. Do you remember when we did it to celebrate your first Classics win, Viten’ka?” He nudges at Victor.

The champion smirks. “You mean the time you barfed all over me on the _very first_ train we took?”

“Pfft!” Mila throws her head back to laugh. “I _need_ to hear this story.”

“Would you rather hear the one about how Victor lost his virginity and thought he had herpes for a week?” Chris grins back at him.

“Touche.”

Mila is doubling over in laughter when they reach the restaurant, the host giving them weird looks as they’re seated.

“So, which story am I hearing tonight?” She persists the two riders.

Victor waves his approval to Chris and he begins the tale of their unfortunate night in Prague. He turns his attention to Phichit and Otabek at his side who are scrolling through the former’s phone, the Kazakhstani rider actually smiling slightly.

“You had good rides the past few days, Phichit,” Victor cuts in, the Thai rider perking up at the compliment.

“I have Incognita to thank for that,” Phichit grins. “He really saved me a few times out there.”

The rider’s chestnut gelding was fantastic, Victor honestly had felt a little jealous while he watched them jump. The pair still fell behind Otabek’s Beethoven, Chris’s Rapsodie, and Makkachin to come in fourth. Their dressage routine was a little weak.

“You don’t happen to know of any really nice, small barns, do you?” Victor asks Phichit.

“Oh, here we go again!” Mila groans at his words.

“What’re we going again?” Emil asks.

“Victor has been going on about moving Makkachin to a different, quieter stable to rest the guy before the Olympics,” Georgi explains.

“Wait, you got accepted onto the Olympic team?” Chris turns to his best friend. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It didn’t seem all that important,” Victor waves him off.

“‘Not that important’?” Chris stares at him in bewilderment. “The Olympics are the most advanced athletic competition a person can compete in. How is that not a big deal?!”

Victor shrugs. “It’s just another competition. It can’t be all that different from the Classics.”

“Except the jumps are higher and courses are longer and you’re competing for your country instead of yourself,” Otabek points out.

“Touche,” Victor says to the other rider. He looks back to Phichit. “ _Do_ you know of any small barns that would be willing to take in Makkachin and I?”

To be entirely honest, he’s desperate for a break. Eventing has become a shackle around his neck, something he once felt immense joy in now becoming his biggest burden. Once one Classics ends, the next one begins, and the cycle of winning and endless fake smiles repeats itself. Victor never rides Makkachin for pleasure anymore, and he can’t recall the last time they skipped training and went out into the orchard for the day instead. He hasn’t gone on a date in seven years, hasn’t been out to spend a day in St. Petersburg, hasn’t even gotten a proper night’s sleep.

Victor just wants to rest and find enjoyment in his life again. Yakov has been against it every time it’s brought up, but the champion is not budging on his decision. He just needs to find the right place to run far away to.

“Well…” Phichit taps on his phone a few times. “There is one I can think of.”

He hands the device to Victor who finds a picture of a lovely little barn and arena on the screen. Phichit tells him there are more photos, and the champion scrolls to find pictures of well cared-for horses, wide stalls, and a friendly Japanese family smiling at the camera.

“That’s Yu-topia Horse Farm in Hasetsu, Japan,” Phichit explains. “It’s not the biggest facility, but it’s nice and quiet and there are trails through the mountains, and the Katsuki family that runs it are the kindest people you’ll ever meet.”

Victor doesn’t hear what he says next because he’s found a picture of a familiar face and his heart stops. The face is smiling wide beside a bay thoroughbred, hugging the horse’s head close as it nibbles at his shirt. Victor last saw that black hair mussed up with a tie wrapped around it and those chestnut brown eyes were wider and his clothes had been wrinkled and unbuttoned.

“Who is this?” Victor shows Phichit the photo.

The Thai rider chuckles. “You don’t remember?”

“Of _course_ I remember, that’s why I’m asking!”

“Remember what?” Chris butts in.

Victor shows him the picture. “Do you remember him from Detroit?”

Chris perks up, smirking deeply. “Absolutely. I would _never_ forget that boy’s ass.”

“That’s my best friend, Katsuki Yuuri,” Phichit chimes in.

Yuuri. Victor looks at the picture again, smiling to himself.

That night had been just a few weeks ago and had stuck in his mind through all of them. The 50th anniversary of the riding team at his college had been a relieving escape from grueling training, and it had been kinda fun to perform old dressage routines and jump fences reminiscent of the ones at his first Rolex. It was a trip down memory lane, but nothing could have prepared him for the joy of that night.

Victor had noticed the sad boy at the beginning of the day when he was introduced to the current riding team. Celestino introduced the boy as one of the graduating riders, but he had been distant when they shook hands, looking down and refusing to meet Victor’s eyes. He saw Yuuri later that night at the drinks table, downing glass after glass of champagne.

The boy had swept through the crowd after grabbing a full bottle of champagne, dragging his best friend into the middle of the ballroom and ordering him to record his dancing. The two then had a dance-off, Chris becoming intrigued and joining them. Before he knew it, Victor was watching the two of them dance on one of the poles in the corner of the room, taking videos of his own.

Then, the boy had sauntered up to him, taken his hand, and danced with him. They waltzed and tangoed and swing-danced to the most inipropriate of music for those dances, but Victor didn’t care. He hadn’t smiled like that in years. Yuuri had been so suave yet giddy and happy in his own way.

At the end of that night, when Yuuri was close to passing out, the boy had pulled Victor close and ground his hips against the champion's leg.

"Victor..." The boy's words had slurred together, his eyes sparkling under the light of the chandeliers. "If I win the dance-offs, will you marry me?" He had snuggled his face into the champion's chest. "I've loved you since I was a teenager... you'd make me the happiest person on the planet if you married me..."

Victor had blushed deeper than the setting sun while the boy passed out slumped against him. Yuuri’s side of his and Phichit’s dorm room was covered in Victor’s face, and he blushed harder when he helped the drunk boy’s room mate get him into bed.

“He’s not going to remember tonight tomorrow morning,” Phichit had said.

“I’ll leave my number for him,” Victor had told him, writing it down on sleeping Yuuri’s hand.

“Do you want me to tell him?”

“No,” Victor had decided in the moment. He still doesn’t understand why, but something had told him that they’d meet again and when they did, Victor wanted to meet Yuuri as he was without champagne for blood.

When Phichit finally manages to get his phone back, Victor pulls out his own and immediately schedules a flight to Japan. It’s a decision he’d never end up regretting.


	22. Applause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jumps are specially designed for the Event, water jumps shaped like ducks and the French flag made of flowers at the base of several of the hedge jumps. The course is a marvel to look at but the jumps themselves are nauseating. Eros will have no problem over them, but Yuuri still finds himself worrying at their size and stretch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! Sorry if I kept you waiting, I had lots of planning to do and I'm very excited for you to read the upcoming chapters I have in mind. In the mean time, enjoy the chapter.  
> <3<3<3

Yuuri wakes up the next morning to find the ring on his hand glittering into his eyes. Familiar fingers trace over the gold band and he looks up to find Victor staring at him with the sweetest smile on his face.

“‘Morning, fiancé.” That smile widens.

Yuuri gasps, looking to the ring on his hand and finding Victor’s with an identical band. “Oh my god…”

Victor brushes the hair out of his eyes, fingers lingering on his skin. “I can’t believe it either.”

“We’re getting married,” Yuuri breathes, staring at the other rider lying beside him.

“We’re getting married!” If Victor’s smile gets any wider, it’s going to rip his face in half.

“Are you sure?” Yuuri asks. “Are you sure that you want… me?”

Victor’s smile fades, replaced by a furrowed brow and straight set mouth. Faster than Yuuri can even comprehend, a body is pressed against his, arms and legs wrapped tightly around him and face buried into the crook of his neck, already peppering his skin with kisses.

“Vitya…?” Yuuri asks timidly.

“Last night was the happiest night of my life, and it’s because you asked me to marry you.” He can feel that warm breath against his skin. “In  _ Paris  _ of all places! And now you’re going off like I didn’t say ‘yes’ to wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“… technically you didn’t say ‘yes’, you just nodded and started crying.”

“ _ It was a ‘yes’, Yuuri! _ ” Victor grumbles, somehow hugging himself closer to his fiancé. “I love you and I  _ hate  _ when you think these negative things about yourself.”

“… I know.”

“Then stop thinking them! I’m making an order as your fiancé that whenever you start thinking those things, you have to tell me so I can get them out of your head.” Victor leans back to look Yuuri in the eye, dead serious. “That’s my order, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.” Victor’s hands move to cradle Yuuri’s face. “I’m so thankful for you. You’ve wanted me as I am and brought life and love back into something that I felt shackled in. All I ask is that you stay with me and never leave.”

Yuuri runs his own hands over Victor’s face, thumbing at his lips, ready to kiss him, when his hand catches his attention and a memory comes back to him. “Oh my god…”

Victor frowns. “What?”

“Was that  _ your  _ number on my hand after the anniversary party?”

Victor laughs, nodding and kissing him. “Just in case you remembered.”

Yuuri lets him kiss him for a few more minutes before he gets up and calls him mom with the intention of informing her of his engagement.

“Yuuri!” Comes her happy voice from the other line when she picks up.

He smiles. “Hi, Mom. How’ve you been?”

“Busy,” Mama Katsuki answers. “We’re planning a viewing party for tomorrow night.”

“You’re what?!”

“We’re gonna watch the Event live the next three days,” she explains. “I invited that breeder and her student who won at the Nationals.”

“Kanako and Minami-kun?”

“Uh-huh!” Her voice is chirpy. “They’re really excited to watch you in action.”

“That’s really nice of them,” Yuuri smiles. “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you about.”

“Oh?”

“Do you remember what I told you that I was planning to do in Paris?” He asks her.

“Proposing to Vicchan?” She asks.

“Yeah.” He looks down at the ring on his finger. “I did it last night, and he said yes.”

Yuuri has to hold the phone away from his ear to keep from getting hearing damage due to the scream that comes through the receiver. Mama Katsuki’s voice is elated and distant as she informs those around her of the news, speaking in quickened Japanese. Minako-sensei grabs the phone from her, demanding to speak to Victor to inform Yuuri’s future husband of the ass-whooping he’ll receive if he hurts her student in any way, Yuuko grabbing it back from her to congratulate Yuuri while the triplets ask a million questions.

He’s smiling widely at the voices when he notices Victor giggling at his phone. That’s when Yuuri’s phone starts to go off with notification tone after tone.

“I’m gonna have to call you guys back,” he says, taking a few seconds to say goodbye to everyone before he hangs up and jumps his fiancé. “What are you doing?”

Victor’s still giggling when he shows Yuuri his phone which is open to Instagram and a new picture he’s posted. In the photo, Victor grins as he holds up his ring hand, Yuuri smiling in the background while on the phone. The caption reads, “Fiancé telling the future mother-in-law about proposing last night.” Multiple notifications pop up every second.

“ _ Vitya! _ ” He pummels his fiancé’s shoulder while the other rider laughs his ass off.

“When else were we gonna tell people?!”

“You could have asked me first!”

Victor agrees to take another picture to put on Yuuri’s account of them holding up their clasped ring hands while kissing. Both photos become the most popular posts in Instagram history within the half hour.

 

The flight to Pau is short and sweet, the other riders either ignoring the engaged couple or taking pictures of their shenanigans. Victor kisses Yuuri’s ring every chance he gets, saying sweet things in Russian that the other rider doesn’t know the meaning to but still have him blushing. When the eventer falls asleep, Yuuri shows him the same courtesy, holding his hand to kiss the ring he placed there and whispering loving things in Japanese into his fiancé’s ear.

They land in Pau and immediately go to the Event grounds at Domaine de Sers. The stable is nice and fancy, Eros happily trotting into her stall and gobbling down the hay already set down for her. She was curious about the ring when Yuuri first held out his hand to her at the airport.

“Victor and I are engaged,” he had explained to her, still hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth.

Despite the fact the  _ he  _ proposed, the idea that they’re gonna spend the rest of their lives together, committed to each other alone is just…  _ mind-blowing. _

The day before the first day of the Event consists of settling their horses into their new environment and checking out the courses. They won’t get to see the show jumping course until the day of, but they get the chance to walk the cross country one and Yuuri is amazed at what he sees. The jumps are specially designed for the Event, water jumps shaped like ducks and the French flag made of flowers at the base of several of the hedge jumps. The course is a marvel to look at but the jumps themselves are nauseating. Eros will have no problem over them, but Yuuri still finds himself worrying at their size and stretch.

The other riders go up to Victor at some time during the day to talk about the flower crown. Every year, a crown of roses has been presented to the winner of an Event by one of their competitors. Usually, it’s their closest rival, but they decided that Victor would do the presenting for this string of Classics Events. It’d be like the champion passing down his legacy to the next line of eventers.

Yuuri goes to bed early, letting Victor’s breathing lull him to sleep.

 

His fiancé has a surprise for him the next morning: a new coat, this one a deep black with diamond buttons and velvet trim. Chris is jealous when he sees it, prodding Sam as to why his husband never got him a jacket like it.

Yuuri’s nerves build as people crowd into the bleachers off the dressage arena. He and Eros have perfected their routine a dozen times over, but there’s still an itch under his skin that gives a nervous twitch to his fingers. As Yuuri stands beside her, the mare turns her head to sniff at him. Eros cocks her head and nickers as if to ask him ‘are you okay?’

Yuuri sighs and smiles softly. “I’ll be alright, girl. Warm up will help me calm down.”

Eros’s gaits are smooth as ever while they work through the flat in the warm up arena. The delicate sway of her body and sound of her breath cause Yuuri’s heart to return to its regular beat and the roaring in his ears to clear. Looking around the ring, those nerves get taken over by intimidation.

Emil was not lying about Anastasis; the blue roan is the most gorgeous of the horses in the ring. Chris’s Rapsodie is the smallest and most compact with naturally concave face and lifted tail. Unlike the grays with their dark skin and white fur, the Arabian’s muzzle is pink, distinguishing her as an albino with sky blue eyes. Phichit and his bay mare Terra work through a passage on the other end of the arena. Terra is one of three of the Thai rider’s horses, Incognita being the one he rode in the Rolex last year.

Mickey and his dun Serenade hardly keep Sara and Mila alone, their mares getting antsy and nipping at the gelding. Otabek is the one Yuuri finds himself watching the most as his eyes wander. His gelding Beethoven rivals Anastasis for the title as most beautiful of the horses present. The horse’s flowing tail and braided mane are a luscious silver in contrast to the deep, dust colored dapple coat that covers the rest of his body. Yurio watches the Kazakhstani rider from the fence with an entranced gaze. Victor gives Yuuri and Eros the same look.

The pair take a break for some water, his fiancé holding out his phone.

“Your family has been calling non-stop,” Victor says with a grin. “Minako wants to give you some advice.”

Yuuri takes his cell and holds it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“ _ Yuuri! _ ” Comes the voice of his instructor. It’s late in the evening in Japan and she’s clearly begun drinking. “Remember to keep a feel on Eros’s mouth and don’t let her break from a collected gait.”

“Yes, sensei.” Yuuri smiles at her words. “I’ll remember.”

“Good. Your mom wants to talk to you.”

There’s a shuffle as the phone is handed off and Mama Katsuki’s voice comes through the receiver. “Hi, Yuuri!”

“Hi, Mom,” he smiles softly. “How’s the party going?”

“Really well!” He can hear the grin in her voice. “Everyone is so excited to watch you and Eros compete!” Her voice softens for her next words. “Good luck, Yuuri. Ride like you and that mare are one being, and remember that we’re cheering for you.”

Yuuri blushes softly. “I will. Thank you.”

“Give that fiancé of yours a kiss for me!”

Watching the other riders go, Yuuri’s intimidation grows. He grips the reins like a lifeline as his competitors dance around the arena before his eyes. Their horses are elegant and graceful, and each new score sends Yuuri’s heart racing faster. It’s almost his time when a hand takes his and begins peeling off his glove. He looks down to find Victor standing beside Eros, watching him as he takes the glove off bit by bit.

A flush runs through Yuuri’s entire body as those soft lips brush against the ring Victor placed there, his fiancé looking up at him afterwards. “Good luck, моя любовь.”

Yakov gives him some quick instructions before his ride, but Yuuri doesn’t need them. He can feel the support of his family and lover sending confidence into his every move, Eros responding to it in turn.

His dressage ride isn’t as highly scored as some of the other riders, but he doesn’t need to worry about it. Yuuri catches up to them by having flawless cross country and show jumping rounds, ending on his dressage score in first place while the others had faults added to their penalties. He happily pins the first place ribbon to Eros’s bridle while he holds the trophy, smiling for the cameras. When Victor appears with the flower crown, Yuuri dismounts and bows his head so his fiancé can place it over his helmet. He’s smiling wider than he ever has before when he kisses the eventer on international television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue roan - a horse color, gray and white hairs giving the appearance of a blue tint to the fur while their manes and tails are black  
> Dun - a horse color, yellowish fur with black mane and tail. Duns are distinguished from buckskin colored horses by their dorsal stripe: a line of black fur that connects the mane and tail and runs down the spine  
> Gray vs albino - there is no such thing as a white horse. Horses with white fur and gray skin (as seen on their muzzles) are called grays because of the color of their skin. Albino horses have white fur and pink skin


	23. Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many times is Yuuri gonna choke on nothing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for making you wait. This is a short one, so I'll have the next chapter up tomorrow.  
> Enjoy!

Yuuri officially hates the cold.

It never reaches zero degrees (32 F) In Hasetsu, even in the coldest months. Yet, in St. Petersburg, it gets below zero in November, and Victor warns that it’ll only get worse.

Yuuri spends the first few weeks of that month before the International Event in Australia either burrowed in blankets in their apartment or burrowed in jackets and scarves at the stable. He gets a couple pointed looks from Yurio and giggles from Mila, but he’s warm and able to comfortably ride, so he doesn’t care what they think.

Victor thinks it’s adorable and loves to squish his fiancé into tight hugs that make his fluffy jackets poof out even more. The eventer tucks his fiancé’s cold feet under soft blankets and snuggles close to him on the couch and in bed. He loves the warmth and has fallen asleep against his fiancé multiple times. Yuuri doesn’t even try to hide how much he loves the attention.

Eros doesn’t share his hatred for the cold, and he’s never seen her happier than when it snows for the first time.

It snows just a week after they get back from France, Eros sticking her nose out the window and trying to catch snowflakes when they arrive that morning. Yakov forgoes training due to the cold, so Victor and Yuuri decide to have some fun. They bundle up and make sure their horses will stay warm with polos and blankets under their saddles. Then, they go trotting out into the snow.

Eros loves it.

Yuuri is forced to give her a long rein because she keeps sticking her nose into snow banks and tossing the white powder into the air. Makkachin almost seems to be laughing at her behavior with little snorts and nickers. The horses pick up their feet as they move through the snow, Victor still trying to kiss Yuuri despite the extra bounce in Makkachin’s step. He surprises his fiancé with a face-full of snow at his next attempt, and the outing turns into a snowball fight on horseback.

Yuuri gets Victor the most times, hitting him in the head to complaints that his hair will get messed up even though it’s under a helmet. He shuts up his fiancé every time with another snowball to the face. They make their way to the orchard, Eros disappointed when she can’t find any apples, and slow to a walk. Yuuri closes his eyes against the cold breezes, relaxing into the movements of the mare beneath him. He peeks to his right to find Victor staring at him with an enraptured smile on his face.

Yuuri blushes at the look. “What?”

Victor sighs happily. “Nothing, I’m just… it’s still crazy to me.” Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “That we’re engaged, that you’re mine, that I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with you.”

Yuuri flushes deeper, ducking his eyes down. “Do you always get this sentimental in the cold?”

Victor laughs. “Only when it snows. You should have seen me in the blizzard we had two years ago.”

There’s a hand on his cheek that turns his head and Yuuri’s lips and pressed against the lips of the man he loves, cold and chapped yet still sweet. Victor pulls away, grinning at the blush on Yuuri’s cheeks that’s most definitely not from the cold. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Yuuri kisses his fiancé again before he can react to those words.

“No you fucking don’t,” Victor says between kisses, genuinely. “I love you the most, never suggest otherwise, you asshole. Don’t test me, I will fight you. There is no way in hell you love me more.”

Yuuri is doubled-over with laughter before he’s even finished his tirade, trying to shut his fiancé up with more kisses, but he can’t hold himself together long enough to do so. He urges Eros into a canter, at which point Victor gets furious and starts chasing him through the orchard on Makkachin. Yuuri is squealing when the Olympic pair catch up to him and his mare, and Victor grabs her reins to stop them. The argument is resolved with a few more Russian curses and some kisses. They’re walking back to the barn when Victor’s voice pierces the silence.

“When would you like to get married?”

How many times is Yuuri gonna choke on nothing?

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” he answers honestly. “Have  _ you _ ?”

“A little bit.” Victor smiles to himself.

“Do you have an idea of when you want to get married?”

“I was thinking we could do it once the Classics is over,” Victor begins. “The Olympics will have passed as well, and it’ll be nice in Hasetsu that time of year.” His cheeks flush slightly. “I think getting married on the beach would be nice.”

Yuuri hums as he thinks. “We could ride down the trails to the cove.”

Victor gasps delicately. “We could get married on horseback!”

Yuuri giggles as his fiancé starts going on about the ideas that come to his mind, making a mental note to remind him to write them down later. Phichit will want to discuss them with him, and Mama Katsuki will want to help execute everything.

They turn the horses in early, making sure they’ll be warm for the night before heading home. They take a hot bath together and make a fire, curling up together on the couch near the fireplace. They read books quietly until they fall asleep against each other, heated by the warmth of the dying embers.

 

“ _ Yu _ -uri…”

“Nooooo…”

“I got you an extra tall cup of coffee.”

Yuuri peeks his eyes open to find Victor kneeling next to his side of the bed, fingers tracing over the golden band on his fiancé’s hand.

“Do you know of the concept of  _ en _ ?” Yuuri asks with a tired lilt. Victor shakes his head. “ _ En _ is the meeting of two beings that leaves a long lasting bond. It’s a very important belief in Japan. Japanese homonyms and word associations are incredibly important when it comes to  _ en.  _ One of those homonyms is the word for circle or round, so rings are used as a metaphor for or an expression of a wish for  _ en. _ Because of that, rings have an especially profound level of meaning in Japan.”

Victor is silent for a thoughtful moment. “Is it like the idea of soulmates?”

“Kind of,” Yuuri answers. “But that doesn’t really capture the concept of  _ en. _ ”

“Is that why you gave this to me?”

Yuuri looks into those diamond blue eyes and smiles. “I wanted to marry you, but I’ve realized that marriage really isn’t the best way to portray how I feel about you.” He takes his fiancé’s hand, their rings clinking together. “I want to be bonded and connected to you in every way that I can. I want to have  _ en  _ with you.”

Victor blushes and smiles back. He leans in to kiss his fiancé softly before saying against his lips, “If you think that you can get out of having to get out of bed by saying that, you’re sorely mistaken.”

**Yuuri groans, but goes to the kitchen to have breakfast with Victor, blushing deeper each time his fiancé presses a kiss to his cheek. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff That is Canon to this AU but That I Will Not Have Time to Explore in the Fic Itself:  
> \- Victor is the cook of the two, Yuuri being that one guy in college who burnt Mac 'n Cheese cups in the microwave and set off the dorm alarm multiple times. He leaves the cooking to Victor who, having lived by himself for so long, taught himself to cook and spoiled himself for years. Now, he gets to spoil his fiancé  
> \- Victor goes insane in tack shops, almost buying out the entire store every time. Yuuri first learns about this when he needs new spurs and Victor ends up bringing a pile of equipment they don't need to the register. Yuuri had to drag him out of the store to keep him from buying anything other than what they needed  
> \- I probably don't need to say this, but they cuddle A LOT. Like, all the time. Neither of them can go to sleep if a part of them is not touching the other  
> \- They catch each other staring all the time. It started back when Victor first arrived, but when they got together, they didn't have to turn away quickly anymore. They sometimes make a game out of it, circling around their horses in the cross-ties or their stalls and peeking around to see who can catch the other looking first. It really gets on Yurio's nerves  
> \- They're very professional when actually training, often standing off to the sides of the arena to watch the other at work. They'll give sneaky advice while Yakov and Lilia aren't looking which is always helpful. They'll even train just the two of them when they get an arena to themselves. The intimacy is different during these times; hands resting on legs or hips, leaning their faces close to speak, rubbing each other's shoulders for encouragement. Victor will recreate their first kiss if Yuuri does something he's especially proud of  
> \- Victor has a lot of sponsors and does a lot of modelling, the more the merrier (it's the #1 reason why he's so rich). All the posters and pictures Yuuri had of the eventer came from those magazines. Once they become the hottest power-couple in the equestrian community, they do sponsored ads together. Victor has the photographers send him every single one, even those that don't get into the magazines. The nicest ones, he frames and puts up around the apartment. The others he puts up on his side of the closet. Yuuri steals a few to keep for himself  
> \- They try to do pair riding one day, but Eros still doesn't trust Victor 100%. While he's trying to get on, she keeps moving and he keeps falling into the arena dirt, Yuuri laughing the entire time. Makkachin is more cooperative  
> \- Victor takes a ton of pictures of him, Yuuri, and their horses. Some make their way onto Instagram where they're incredibly popular. He has a collage of them as his phone wallpaper, and has his favorites printed out in his wallet. Little does he know that Yuuri has had a picture of him and Makkachin in his own wallet since the beginning of college  
> \- Yuuri saves every photo of them that Victor posts to Instagram and keeps them in a special folder on his phone to look at when he gets sad  
> \- Yes, they coordinate their outfits and equipment every day  
> \- Victor was considering proposing to Yuuri at one of the Classics Events in front of the entire crowd on the show jumping day, but Yuuri beat him to the punch  
> \- When they were training together under Yakov, they competed to see who would have to do the dishes that night. It made them extra serious during those first few weeks of training  
> \- They find themselves feeling disgusted and dirty after a long week of training, so they have spa days over the weekends. They put special smelling bath salts into the tub for their aching muscles, and teach themselves how to give manicures and pedicures once Victor buys all the supplies they'll need. They paint each other's nails a different color each week, Yuuri getting good at it after a while. They do facials and put curlers in their hair and drink tea and just have a fun night of pampering together


	24. We Are the Champions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ganba, моя любовь,” Victor says against the skin of his fingers.  
> Yakov manages to separate them just before it’s Yuuri’s time to ride. “Keep your leg on her and a feel for her mouth. Focus on the music; it’ll help with your nerves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, as promised.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

The Classics standings are determined by points awarded to those who placed in the top ten spots; fifteen to the winner, twelve to the second place rider, ten to the rider in third, etc. Yuuri is in the lead with Chris and Otabek close behind him. After this second Event in Australia, the real competition will begin.

In recent years, the younger riders have come out on top, and many believe it will be the same this year. Ever since Victor was the youngest rider to compete in the Rolex, more and more young riders have dominated the Eventing scene and have overtaken their seniors in the Classics. It has always come down to the same six riders competing for the top spots in the past few Classics, and this second Event will solidify who holds those places.

The second Event of the Classics is the International Three Day Event in Adelaide, Australia. They arrive the day before the Event on November 18th, and Victor immediately starts complaining about the heat. For Yuuri, it’s a welcome break from the diabolical cold of Russia. They have dinner out with the other young riders that night, Yuuri refusing to touch the wine that’s passed around. He has to force Victor to do the same.

Yuuri gets up early to warm up Eros before it gets too hot to do so. Victor is already brushing his teeth by the time he goes into the bathroom. He wears his regular riding clothes, not wanting to get his show habit dirty and takes his time getting Eros tacked up. She happily munches on the apple Yuuri brought her while he brushes her down and gets her saddle in place. She finishes her snack quickly when he brings in her bridle.

The arena is completely grass, very different from what they’re used to doing dressage on. Eros will have no problem with jumping on the grass, but dressage will be a different story altogether. Some of the older riders are in the warm up arena when the pair arrive, as well as Otabek and Beethoven. No matter how many times he sees him, Yuuri is always amazed by the beauty of the gelding.

Victor watches as he warms Eros up with flat work, keeping to one side of the arena away from the others. He has her extend and collect her trot and canter before they begin to practice passages and pirouettes. She loses her balance a few times, but eventually finds her footing on the grassy arena.

The other riders begin showing up later in the morning, so Victor and Yuuri put Eros back in her stall and head back to their hotel room. The rider gets dressed in his show clothes while the eventer lounges on the bed.

“Do you want me to do your tie?” Victor asks a struggling Yuuri.

He’s wearing his blue, diamond encrusted jacket in the hope that it’ll keep him cooler than the black velvet one will. He lets his fiancé tie his tie, mind wandering in their silence.

Chris and Otabek did very well with their dressage routines in Pau, only falling behind Yuuri due to their jumping rounds. The heat will make Eros antsy and he may lose his focus. They’ll both get tired easily, so it’s good they warmed up in the cool morning. If the others are more comfortable in the heat, Yuuri and Eros may fall behind easily.

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?” his focus comes back to his fiancé.

Victor looks worriedly at him. “Are you okay?”

Yuuri nods. “Just thinking.”

He gets a call from his family when they’re back in the barn, the close timezones meaning everyone is more awake and less drunk in Minako-sensei’s case. Yuuri gets some good advice from his instructor and well wishes from his friends and family before he has to hang up. He catches Victor smiling at him as he tucks his phone away.

The morning gets hotter the closer they get to showtime, Yuuri hardly paying attention to the size of the crowd that is seated around the arena. He wets a sponge and gives Eros a little bath, the mare nickering and reaching around to nibble at his hair in thanks. Victor takes the opportunity while she’s distracted to braid her mane. The mare still doesn’t like him all that much.

Yuuri watches his competitors with a slight nervous twitch to his fingers. Chris, Otabek, and the other young riders do very well. Their horses hardly seem to notice the switch from a dirt to grass arena. Otabek and Beethoven get 31.4 penalty points dancing beautifully to the gelding’s namesake’s sixth symphony. Chris and Rapsodie are in a close second with 34.1 penalty points. Mila is their closest rival with 42.5.

Yuuri mounts Eros once the vet deems her safe to compete. His eyes stay transfixed on Phichit and Terra who dance to music from his best friend’s favorite movie. Familiar fingers tug at his glove, and Yuuri giggles as Victor presses kisses to his knuckles, nerves disappearing. His fiancé smiles against the gold band on his hand, looking up at Yuuri through shining, silver lashes.

“ _ Ganba _ , моя любовь,” Victor says against the skin of his fingers.

Yakov manages to separate them just before it’s Yuuri’s time to ride. “Keep your leg on her and a feel for her mouth. Focus on the music; it’ll help with your nerves.”

“Yes, coach.”

Yuuri trots Eros into the arena when his name is called. She settles into an easy passage as he signals for the music. The piano tune plays them into the dressage pen. Eros halts, Yuuri bows, and they begin their dance. The mare is antsy just as he feared, and he relaxes as much as he can to help her calm down. They get through the majority of the routine perfectly, if a bit stiff. Eros breaks from her collected canter during a half pass momentarily before Yuuri gets her back on track.

At the end of the day, Otabek is in first, Chris a close second, and Yuuri overtakes Mila to get third with a score of 41.3. He gives Eros another bath and takes a cold shower of his own before falling asleep with Victor lying on his chest.

 

They get up early to walk the cross country course, Yuuri nursing a tall thermos of coffee while they do so. The jumps are basic, following a trail around the park. Some of the jumps pass close to an intersection where cars are driving by. Yuuri makes a face, worried about what might happen if a car honks with a horse nearby.

Today is cooler, Eros much more relaxed during warm up. The slight breeze makes Yuuri more comfortable inside his safety equipment. The vet deems the mare safe to compete, and they wait by the starting gate with the Russian team, watching the other riders jump the first two fences.

Victor clings to Yuuri as he always does before a cross country course. They’re both all too aware of the danger of this day in an Event. An incredible amount of trust must be put into the horse during a cross country course. Thankfully, there’s no creature Yuuri trusts more than Eros. Still, his fiancé is reluctant to let go of him when he needs to mount up. Victor double-checks the boots on Eros’s legs and the girth to see if they’re secure.

“Vitya.” Yuuri stops him before he can check the bell boots again. “We’re gonna be fine.” He leans down to kiss the ring he placed on his fiancé’s hand before walking Eros forward to get into place by the start gate.

When Phichit and Terra are a good distance ahead on the trail, the Event worker signals their go-ahead. With a slight press of his heal, Eros bursts forward into a gallop, tearing over the ground to the first jump. She leaps it effortlessly to the cheers of those standing by. They have eleven minutes to get over the forty jumps.

Eros’s endurance keeps them going at a good pace, Yuuri’s legs beginning to ache from holding himself in two-point position. The blood pumping through his head drowns out the cheering crowds standing on the other side of the ropes that outline the course. The jumps near the intersection come up and Yuuri tenses. Eros snorts and continues with confidence, giving no attention to the cars driving by. All she cares about are the jumps, and they finish the course with seconds to spare.

The vet is waiting for Eros and Victor for Yuuri at the end point. He slides to the ground and collapses into his fiancé’s arms.

“That was perfect, Yuuri.”

Eros is deemed fine by the vet when the scores are announced. Yuuri, Chris, and Otabek are in the same places having made no faults. Phichit has fallen to sixth place with Sara taking fifth.

Yuuri’s exhaustion has him out cold before Victor has even gotten into bed.

 

The final day of the Adelaide Event begins with finding Eros lying down in her stall and needing an intense grooming session to get all the dirt out of her coat. They walk the jumping course when she’s all cleaned up, Yuuri finding a slight concern with the last jump in the triple line which is only a single stride away from the jump before it. He wouldn’t be worried if the arena were a dirt one, but Eros isn’t used to this kind of footing for show jumping.

The warm up goes well, and Yuuri watches the other riders with fingers tight around the reins. Otabek knocks one rail to bring his score to 35.4 penalty points. Chris would have won the Event if Rapsodie hadn’t knocked two rails to bring his score to 42.1. All the other riders knock at least one rail. There’s a chance for Yuuri to get second if he and Eros make no faults. He rides her into the arena after kissing his fiancé for luck. They ride the course perfectly until the final jump; the triple. That single stride isn’t enough for Eros to get over all the way, and the top rail comes down. They stay in third, Victor crowning Otabek with a ring of orange roses.

Back in the barn, Yuuri gets a phone call from home.

“Hi, Mom!” He says once he picks up the phone. “Did you see how well Eros did today? We’re tied with Otabek for first in the Classics rankings-”

“Yuuri,” she interrupts him, voice heavy and sorrowful. The last time she spoke to him in that tone…

“Mom, what’s wrong?” His heartbeat pounds in his ears, making it hard to hear the next few words his mother says.

“It’s Niki. She has colic, and we’re not sure if she’s going to make it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Canon Things!:  
> \- The reason Georgi didn't talk to Mickey is because he has a crush on the Italian rider, but he's dating Emil, so the Russian rider is salty about it  
> \- Otabek and Yurio spent the day together in Paris having a lot of fun, riding around on the elder's motorcycle. Not saying that they went to a DJ concert after dinner, but I'm not denying it either ;) They hang out at every Event and text every day  
> \- Yuuri and Victor shamelessly stare at each other's asses. Mila caught Yuuri once and asked him "aren't you ace? Why are you staring at his butt?" And Yuuri responded "just because I ain't tapping that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it"  
> \- Victor occasionally wakes up after a deep sleep and looks over to Yuuri and says "holy shit" out loud because he still can't believe that KATSUKI YUURI is HIS FIANCE  
> Ya'll will get some MilaSara canon stuff next time!


	25. Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the riding lessons have been cancelled until further notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Did ya'll miss these terribly sad major plot points? I know I did!!  
> Enjoy!  
> <3<3<3<3<3<3

Niki had colic a few years ago. Her intestines were twisted, and she needed surgery. The procedure had left her digestive system weak, the vet ordering she be put on a special diet. She had warned that if the mare got colic again, she might not survive.

The Adelaide taxi pulls up to the airport later that day, Victor getting out to help Yuuri with his luggage even though he’s perfectly capable of getting it from the trunk himself. He lets his fiancé do it, understanding why he wants to. On the ride to the terminal, Yuuri became all too aware that they’d be separated for the first time in a year and a half, and he doesn’t want to go through with this.

It’s almost as if Victor’s read his mind when he finally speaks. “I can always come with you.”

Yuuri shakes his head. “You have training to do, and someone has to exercise Eros while I’m gone.”

Victor’s eyes are downcast, refusing to meet his fiancé’s. “That’s why I want to go.”

Yuuri chuckles. “She’s not going to kill you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s only for a few days.”

Victor nods, still not looking at Yuuri. His fingers caress the other rider’s jaw, lifting his chin so those diamond eyes are forced to meet his.

“I love you,” Yuuri says to him softly, pressing their lips together quickly.

Victor nods again. “I’ll call you every night, okay?”

They embrace, holding each other close before Yuuri begins towards the terminal alone and leaves his other half behind.

 

Mama Katsuki waits for him at the airport in Japan. Yuuri hugs her before they get into the car and drive for Yu-topia.

“How is she?” He asks.

His mother sighs. “Not good. The vet thinks it’s stomach distention. We have a few new stablehands and one of them may have fed her too much grain one day, but we’re not certain how she got it. Her stomach may have ruptured, and we’re trying to keep her as comfortable as possible while using the medications the vet gave us and… hoping for the best.” She smiles at him. “I think seeing you will help.”

The Japanese countryside is just as Yuuri remembers when he looks out the window. The last time he saw this view, his instructor sat in the driver’s seat and he was depressed because he was heading to the final resting place of his beloved horse. Now, he’s depressed because he’s begun to feel the separation that he’s feared the entire flight.

Yuuri twists the ring around his finger, the metal surprisingly cold against his skin. It’s only been a few hours and yet… it feels like a part of him has died, like there’s an empty hole in his chest, like he’s lost a limb, like half of him is gone. He hardly notices when they pull into Yu-topia and his mother parks the car.

Yuuri’s father offers to take in his luggage so he can go see Niki right away. He follows Mama Katsuki down to the barn, getting barraged by friends and family when he steps into the stable. The triplets are surprisingly without their cellphones and simply cling to his legs. Yuuko, Mari, and Minako-sensei are forced to lean over them to hug him while they give him updates on Niki’s condition.

Yuuri walks down the aisle as he listens to them. Her gut noises have gotten worse and she won’t eat anything. She hasn’t stood up in hours and the medication hasn’t seemed to have any effect on her condition. When they finally reach the stall, Yuuri has created a horrible image of the mare in his head. What he finds is worse than what he could ever imagine.

Niki’s dapples have completely disappeared, replaced by large patches of dirt on her coat. She’s breathing heavily from where she lies on the floor of the stall. A nasogastric tube curls around the halter on her head before disappearing down her nostril. It takes all of Yuuri’s strength to keep from falling to the floor at the sight of her.

Takeshi sits by Niki’s side, petting the mare’s neck. He looks up and smiles. “Yuuri!”

“Can I…?” He asks timidly, reaching out to the horse.

“Of course.” Takeshi gestures for Yuuri to join him beside her, guiding his hands to her neck and cheek.

Niki lifts her head slightly, sniffing at the new human who’s joined her group of caretakers and nickers at his smell. She nudges at his hands and he scratches under her chin.

Yuuri smiles. “I missed you too, girl.”

He spends the rest of the day with her, refusing to leave her side. Yuuri helps Yuuko and Minako-sensei give the mare her medicine, holding Niki still and cooing to her as she struggles against them. She rests her head in his lap afterwards, and he pets her until long after the sun has set. The noises coming from Niki’s gut make Yuuri more worried by the second. She’s sweating and fidgeting and he has to stop her from rolling several times.

Some time after what would have been dinner time, there’s a knock on the doorframe and Yuuri looks up to find Yuuko standing there. She smiles and holds up a blanket and thermos. “I figured you’d get cold and hungry.”

He takes the items from her, draping the blanket over himself and Niki and opening the thermos to find the sweet smell of his favorite tea. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” she sits next to Niki, petting the mare’s stomach. “I know this is hard for you. It’s the least I can do to make you feel better.”

Yuuri smiles at his lifelong riding mate, not feeling quite as empty anymore. Niki snuggles her head closer into his lap and he rests a comforting hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her fur, a motion that has calmed him before.

Yuuko sighs. “I was always jealous of how well you and this old lady worked together. I blame you having ridden her your entire life.”

“Niki wasn’t the first horse I rode.” Yuuri looks up to his friend.

“Really?”

“The first horse I rode’s name was Ice,” Yuuri begins. “I hardly remember him; he died when I was little. Niki was the first horse I jumped with when I was eleven. She introduced me to the sensation of momentary flight, and I couldn’t be more thankful to her for it.”

Yuuko’s eyebrows rise. “Wow.”

“She’s the reason I fell in love with competing,” Yuuri explains as he strokes the mare’s neck. “I rode her in my first show years ago. We got fifth place, and I wanted to do better. The next time we competed, we won. Niki’s changed my life more than any person has. Well-” Yuuri feels for the ring on his finger. “-any person but one.”

Yuuko smiles. “If I went back in time and told my seventeen year old self that showing you Victor’s training videos and Rolex win would lead to you two getting engaged… I probably would have completely believed myself.”

Yuuri doubles over in laughter that has the school horses nickering their concern.

Yuuko giggles. “I’m serious! There never would have been a doubt in my mind that you would get the man of your dreams.”

They talk for a little while longer before his friend leaves him with the blanket, tea, and sick horse. Yuuri stays up for a few more hours, talking to Niki and trying to keep her calm and comfortable, then gives her the medication that will help her sleep and falls into his own slumber, still cradling her head.

 

All the riding lessons have been cancelled until further notice.

Yuuri offers to help with chores around the barn, but his instructor tells him no. The new stablehands are perfectly capable of taking care of the school horses and he has a lifelong companion to help nurse back to health. From the look of it, that isn't going to happen.

They finally get Niki to stand up after two hours of patient encouragement and take a slow walk around the arena once before they have to put her back. Not only is the medicine not helping her get better, it hasn’t seemed to have slowed down the illness at all. Niki’s gut noises are getting worse, she’s sweating more, and they haven’t been able to stop her from rolling a couple times unlike yesterday.

They’re doing everything they can, but the mare isn’t getting any better. Yuuri has found himself wishing for her death to end her suffering throughout the ordeal.

That night, Mama Katsuki, Mari, and Minako-sensei force him out of the barn and into the house.

“We’ll take care of her,” his instructor promises. “Clean yourself up, have a proper meal, and get some sleep. You deserve a break.”

Yuuri reluctantly agrees, and once his stomach is full and he’s finished showering, he enters his bedroom for the first time in months. It’s just as he left it except for the bedsheets which have been changed and folded neatly. His suitcase sits in the center of the room, untouched.

For the first time in a day and a half, Yuuri opens his phone and is barraged by the number of notifications littering his screen. There are the basic Instagram and Twitter ones that he ignores, and then there are the texts from his friends and fellow eventers offering condolences and wishing for Niki’s full recovery. Then, there are the ones from Victor.

Text after text of ‘I miss you’s and ‘the bedsheets smell like you’ and ‘Eros is being a bitch how on earth do you ride her so perfectly’ and ‘I can’t sleep without you’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again. Yuuri opens Skype and finds he’s missed thirty-seven calls from his fiancé. He has a mild panic attack before pressing the call button and waiting.

Two seconds later, the other line is answered. “моя любовь!” Victor’s voice is faded from the static of Skype’s connection.

Yuuri holds the phone close, as if he could hug his fiancé through the screen. He holds it up to look at Victor once more. The eventer’s eyes are shining and his hair is mussed up. Yuuri can see the matching omamori hanging on the wall behind him, meaning he’s back in Russia.

“Vitya…” he says his lover’s name like a prayer.

“Why haven’t you answered me?” The eventer’s voice cracks around those words. “I’ve called you non-stop since last night.”

“I left my phone in my bag.” Is Victor crying? “I’ve been with Niki since I got to Yu-topia, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Victor sniffles. “How is she?”

Yuuri hands his head, letting out a long breath. "She's not good. The medicine isn't helping and she can hardly stand." He looks back up to Victor in his phone screen, thousands of kilometers away, as the first tear falls from his eyes. "She's dying, Vitya... and there's nothing I can-"

The sob that tears through Yuuri's body cuts him off as he finally breaks apart. He ugly cries while Victor coos from his phone's speaker. He cries for the old mare he loves and for the horse he's already lost and the new mare who saved his life. He cries over the distance that separates him from the other half of his soul, over just how far away the only pair of arms that could comfort him are. He cries for the friends and family whose love he doesn't deserve. He cries until he's too tired to continue, curling up in his blankets and listening to the Russian coos of his fiancé as the tears dry on his cheeks.

"Это будет хорошо, моя любовь." Victor's voice is sweet and soft. "Неважно что произойдет, я буду здесь для вас."

"How's Eros?" Yuuri asks when his voice comes back to him.

"A pain in the ass." He laughs at the face Victor makes. "She wouldn't let me get into the saddle after two hours of trying to tack her up! Everyone was staring at me, it was awful. I had to wear _your gloves_ to trick her into letting me onto her back."

"My gloves don't fit you."

" _Exactly!_ "

Yuuri chuckles. "She gets sassy."

" _Now_ you tell me!" Victor sighs. "She misses you... I know how she feels."

Yuuri runs his fingers over the image of his fiance in the phone screen. "I miss you both so much."

Victor copies his action. "I wish none of this had happened."

"Me too."

They talk late into the night; sharing childhood stories, silly dreams, and potential wedding plans. Victor has to end the call when Yuuri finally falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colic - a term that describes a wide variety of equine illnesses, but they're all abdominal pains or any problem with the gastro-intestinal tract. These illnesses are caused by many not one specific factor, leading to it being a common sickness amongst horses. Sometimes the sickness is simply caused by a blockage or a built up of gas that can be easily passed, but other times they can lead to infections, inflammation, the twisting of the intestines, or other fatal obstructions  
> Stomach distension - the small capacity of the horse’s stomach makes it susceptible to distension when large amounts of grain are ingested in a single meal. There is the potential for the stomach to rupture  
> Nasogastric tube - a tube that is put down the nostril of a horse to enter its stomach and helps to administer medicine and alleviate gas  
> Это будет хорошо, моя любовь. - It'll be alright, my love.  
> Неважно что произойдет, я буду здесь для вас. - No matter what happens, I'll be here for you.


	26. Victor's POV #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he walks into a room, Yuuri is always sitting on the couch or napping in their bed or cleaning his tack or failing to make a simple snack. Now, every time he steps into a different room of the apartment, expecting to see the love of his life, he finds the space empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY YOU GUYS!!! (you will be my favorite if you know what that's from)  
> I'm back with more of this story from Victor's point of view.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Victor texts Yuuri the moment the taxi drops him off at the Adelaide hotel. By then, Yuuri should be in the air, but he doesn’t care. His thumbs tremble above the keyboard for several eternal seconds before he types ‘I miss you’ and sends the message.

It’s true. It’s been two hours perhaps and he already misses his love. How does one live when their life has left them?

Victor flops back onto the hotel bed, absentmindedly running his hand over Yuuri’s side of the mattress. He always sleeps on the right side and Victor sleeps on the left, though they inevitably end up tangled together in the middle anyway. Every morning, he wakes up to Yuuri’s sweet, sleeping face next to his. His dark hair is always messy, more and more tangles appearing the longer his hair gets, and it takes Victor several minutes to force himself from the arms around him, mostly because he spends most of that time getting distracted with kissing every inch of Yuuri’s face.

Tomorrow morning will be the first day in over a year that he’ll wake up completely alone.

Yakov has to force Victor out of bed the next day. He spent the majority of the night sending Yuuri texts and trying to call him on Skype with no response to either. He woke up feeling terribly lost and scared before he remembered what happened yesterday.

The Russian riders have a flight back to St. Petersburg in the afternoon, so Victor has breakfast with Sam and Chris who are the only other ones who won’t leave until later today. He notices Yurio and Otabek huddled in a corner of the lobby on his way out. Those two have gotten very close over the past few days. He’ll have to ask Yurio about it when they get back to Russia.

Breakfast is somber, Victor mostly quiet while the husbands talk. He scrolls through his Instagram, staring longingly at the photos of him and Yuuri. No matter how many times he refreshes his texts or Skype, there’s nothing from his fiancé. He’s already begun to worry despite the many times he’s told himself that Yuuri is with Niki and probably doesn’t have time to answer him. Still, Victor’s fingers twitch with nerves he’s never felt before.

“Viten’ka.”

“Huh?” He looks up to the worried faces of his friends.

Chris smiles. “It’s wonderful to see you having found someone you want to protect, but it’s only been a few hours and you’re acting like you’ve been separated for decades.”

He stares down at his untouched coffee. “It feels like it’s been decades.”

Mila sits next to Victor on the flight, letting him rest his head against her shoulder for when he falls asleep just like Yuuri always does. He’s tentative to help get Eros into the barn, not fond of the look she gives him. Victor holds her lead rope at an arm’s length as he leads her through the stable and quickly removes her halter when she’s in her stall. He goes next door to give Makkachin a hug before going home.

Victor immediately wishes he had stayed at the stable.

When he walks into a room, Yuuri is always sitting on the couch or napping in their bed or cleaning his tack or failing to make a simple snack. Now, every time he steps into a different room of the apartment, expecting to see the love of his life, he finds the space empty. It gets annoying after a while, but Victor can’t stop fidgeting enough to sit still in one place for very long.

He texts and calls Yuuri constantly, never getting a response. He texts Chris and Phichit to contact his fiancé to make sure he’s okay, but they don’t get any response either. That evening alone in the apartment are the worst few hours of his life, and he spent the last several years depressed out of his mind. Happiness is addictive, and once the force that gave Victor joy has been taken away, he finds it hard to function at all. The stupor with which he does everything that night resembles that of a sleepwalker. It’s near impossible for him to fall asleep, the light of his phone screen eventually lulling him into a restless slumber.

 

The day Victor’s always feared arrives: he has to ride Eros.

That mare has never liked him. She flattens her ears at him and swishes her tail into his face and has tried to bite him multiple times. He has a theory that the only reason she gently nibbled on his ass all those months ago is because Yuuri was there and she was tired from the training that day. He’s worried that he’ll have lost at least one limb by the end of the day.

Victor decides to exercise Eros before training Makkachin, just to get it over with. He manages to get her blanket off and the first of her saddle pads on before she notices the he’s not Yuuri. She snaps at his arm and he retreats to the aisle, barely closing the door in time. He spends the next hour standing in the corner of Eros’s stall, trying to approach the mare and going at her speed until she lets him touch her for longer than two seconds. Another hour of patience and running out of the stall several times later, Victor finally leads the mare into the indoor arena.

He adjusts her girth as best he can without getting his arm bitten off before putting his foot in the stirrup and bouncing on one foot to help him mount up. He jumps and lands face first in the dirt as the mare takes five steps to the right. It’s an unpleasant dance around the arena for a half hour, Victor bouncing on one leg while Eros sidesteps away from him until he finally manages to use the saddle and the mare’s mane to pull himself onto her back. Victor’s afraid she’s going to buck, but thankfully Eros just huffs like a grump.

He forgoes the long training of Makkachin to quickly exercise the gelding before going home just after noon. Before he disappears into the bathroom to soak in a salt bath all afternoon, he flops down onto the couch and calls Yuuri on Skype.

Nothing.

He tries again.

And again.

And again.

And again and again and again and again.

Nothing. Every time, no response.

Victor is so close to crying from frustration. He tries one more time, letting Skype ring for almost a minute, praying with every tone. Finally, it picks up.

“ _ Yuuri! _ ” He cries of delight and relief, nearly shedding built up tears.

“No, it’s Mari,” comes a female voice in response. “Yuuri’s been in the stable for the past two days. He left his phone in his bag.”

“Oh.” Victor slumps against the couch cushion. “Is he okay?”

“For the most part,” she replies. “I have a feeling it’d be worse if it were Eros or Vicchan who he had to watch die.”

“Right…”

“Listen, Nikiforov.” Mari’s voice is suddenly stern. “I never got to talk to you when you got engaged to my brother, so I’m gonna take the time to do it now, okay?”

“Okay…” Victor answers timidly.

“First: break my brother’s heart and I’ll break your neck.

“Second: his favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate peanut butter. He requires an entire gallon whenever he’s sad.

“Thrid: Yuuri is the kindest person you’ll ever meet, but he’s also clueless. He never knows when someone is flirting with him or just how to say ‘no’ when he doesn’t want to do something. He opens up when he knows you well, but with strangers, he’s a lost cause. Just… protect him for me, okay? It was my job when he was younger, and now it’s your job. Okay?”

“I’ll take care of him,” Victor says. “I promise.”

“Good,” Mari happily sighs. “We’re gonna force him to take a break from looking over Niki. Give it an hour and then call again. He should answer.”

“Thank you.”

Victor takes his bath, lazily playing with the water and combing his own hair. It’s halfway through the hour and he’s back in their room when his phone goes off with a familiar ringtone. He actually starts crying when he picks up the call and sees Yuuri’s face.

“моя любовь!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Vitya is a lost baby without his fiancé. While Yuuri is a depressed mess when they're separated, Victor is an anxious mess.


	27. Into the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He uses a saddle blanket as a pillow and lays close to the mare, stroking her neck as they fall asleep side-by-side, his instructor watching on with a somber look in her eyes.  
> “I love you, girl,” Yuuri whispers, kissing the center on her forehead before allowing himself to drift into a slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter was supposed to go up yesterday, but midterms are coming up and I was really busy with school stuff.  
> GOOD NEWS: I am going home for spring break in two weeks on the 11th of March. I'll be there until the 29th, I believe. This means I will have a crap ton of free time, which means more consecutive chapter updates for you guys!  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Yuuri is forced to open his eyes when the harsh sunlight shining down on him becomes too much. He rolls over into the shadows, confused by the lack of the smell of coffee and Victor’s comforting scent and the puffy duvet. Then, everything comes back to him. He sighs, curling up deeper into the blankets and holding his ring to his lips.

Yuuri checks his phone and there are over a dozen more texts from Victor.

_I’m back at the stable. The apartment is too lonely without you._

_Do I have to ride Eros tomorrow?_

_She hates me, Yuuri._

_Makkachin says hi!_

_Why does your horse like Mila more than me?_

_SHE LIKES GEORGI MORE THAN ME!!_

_She hates Yurio, though._

_I feel a little better._

_Makkachin jumped 1.5 meters today!_

_He gets a peppermint._

_He loves peppermints._

_I miss you brushing my hair._

_I’m gonna try to sleep. I love you. Miss you <3 _

Yuuri’s smile grows with each text. He types a simple “I love you too <3” and sends it before getting up to go have breakfast.

Niki looks worse when he gets to the stable. Mari, Mama Katsuki, Yuuko, Takeshi, Minako-sensei, and the triplets are all crowded in and around her stall as the first two give her her medicine. Yuuri watches from the background, ready to rush forward to help if needed.

His instructor stays with him in Niki’s stall throughout the day. Mama Katsuki called the vet and gave her an update on Niki’s condition, and she said it was okay to up to painkiller dosage a little. The mare is less fidgety and seems to simply drift in and out of sleep all day. She keeps her head rested in Yuuri’s lap as her gut noises continue to get ever worse and she sweats furiously.

“She really missed you while you were away,” Minako-sensei says out of nowhere in the middle of the day.

He looks up to her. “Huh?”

She pets the mare’s stomach. “I took up your job of doing the morning chores, and Niki would be the first one to greet me every day without fail. She always seemed disappointed when she realized I wasn’t you.” She smiles at him. “I think you being here has made this easier for her.”

Mari brings Yuuri his phone later that night after it was apparently ringing non-stop. It starts going off again the second it touches his hand. He answers and smiles at Victor’s sweet crying of his name. They talk for a while in hushed words, trying not to disturb the mare sleeping in his lap.

“How much longer do you think you’ll be?” Victor asks him.

“I don’t know,” Yuuri answers honestly. “I’ll come back when Niki gets better or when she…”

“...Should I just come there?”

Yuuri chuckles. “No, Vitya, you still have to take care of the horses.”

“Блядь.”

Yuuri throws his head back to laugh, waking up Niki in the process. They end the call so he and Minako-sensei can give her the sleep medicine. He uses a saddle blanket as a pillow and lays close to the mare, stroking her neck as they fall asleep side-by-side, his instructor watching on with a somber look in her eyes.

“I love you, girl,” Yuuri whispers, kissing the center on her forehead before allowing himself to drift into a slumber.

 

Niki is gone the next morning.

Yuuri wakes up alongside the mare to find that her breathing has stopped and her heart isn't beating. He doesn’t scream or call out for help, he just holds her immobile head close as he cries into her fur. He’s muttering apologies against her skull when Minako-sensei finds him and goes to get the others.

When Yuuri can finally pry himself away from her body, he helps Takeshi, his father, and Mari carry her body into the hay cart so they can bring her to the overlook. Mari, Takeshi, and the triplets stay back to help his father navigate the cart through the trails while the rest of them go to the clearing with shovels. They’re all quiet as they begin to dig a ditch alongside the grass-covered mound already set by the line of trees.

The cart arrives when they’re halfway done, and with the extra hands they get the hole dug within the hour. They all say goodbye to the mare from where she lies on the cart. Yuuri hugs Niki’s head and gives her one more apology and muttered ‘I love you’ before helping to lower her body into the grave and bury her.

Mama Katsuki gives him a picture and the mare’s bridle to put in the alter. Yuuri kneels in front of the shrine, setting up the picture frame and nearly breaking down at what photo is inside. Just like the one for Vicchan, the picture is of his and Niki’s first show, his ten year old self smiling timidly at the camera as he holds up the fifth place ribbon. The young mare, still full of dapples and life, nibbles at his messy hair still in its hairnet.

He lies the bridle alongside Vicchan’s and stands to let the rest of his family honor their lost mare.

That night, Yuuri calls Victor. The ringing lasts all of two seconds before his fiancé picks up the phone. The eventer’s smile turns into a look of concern when he sees the red tint to his fiancé’s eyes.

Yuuri nearly chokes on his words. “She’s gone, Victor. She went last night. We buried her today.”

His fiancé coos to him in Russian as he cries hard into his pillow, muttering nonsense against the fabric. He buys a ticket to St. Petersburg for a flight the next day.

 

Yuuri spends the entire plane ride sleeping against the window, trying to forget what happened over the last seventy-two hours for as long as he can. In Russia, he finds his luggage easily and begins his trek towards the doors at the end of the hallway. He stops when those doors open and someone comes running through them with a familiar coat and unkempt silver hair.

Yuuri is running before Victor sees him, and when he does, he’s bolting for his fiancé. The rider weaves through the wave of people, eyes never leaving those of the eventer. The cavern of his chest is filled with a need and his legs can’t move fast enough. His suitcase wheels tremble from how quickly he pulls it along. When they’re two meters from each other, Yuuri abandons his luggage to hurtle himself into Victor’s open and waiting arms.

He buries himself in his fiancé’s chest, breathing in the scent he’s missed so much. Those strong arms encase him in a safe darkness, soft lips pressing to every inch of his neck. The empty space in Yuuri’s chest is filled once more, and he finally relaxes against the missing piece of him.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri.” Victor’s voice is soft in his ear as fingers card through his hair.

“I know.” He lifts his head, hands moving to caress his fiancé’s cheeks and meeting those diamond eyes. “I missed you so much.”

“I promise I missed you more.” Victor presses their foreheads together. “I _never_ want to have to ride Eros again.”

Yuuri chuckles. “Was she that bad?”

“She was _worse_.” He chuckles again. “How you get her to listen to you, I will never understand.”

“It takes a special connection,” Yuuri teases.

“I think it was mostly because she missed you,” Victor teases back. His eyes go soft. “I know how she felt.”

Yuuri wastes no time in pressing their lips together, drawing his lover’s face closer with the palms on his cheeks. They don’t deepen, never open their mouths to each other. These soft kisses are enough, drawing them back to a reality that they’ve been absent from. A reality in which they live alongside a kindred soul, every press of their two halves making them feel whole once more.

Yuuri tastes salt before he realizes he’s crying. Victor pulls away to give him a worried look and wipe the tears away. “Are you alright, моя любовь?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri sobs. “I just… I missed you and Eros so much and I miss my family and Niki and I wish she hadn’t died and wasn't in so much pain and maybe she would have lived to thirty if I had stayed but I'll never know but my family doesn't blame me and you've all ben nothing but supportive and I’ve never been happier and I-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Victor cuts him off, kissing away his tears. “I know, моя любовь, I know.” His hands are on Yuuri’s cheeks, thumbs rubbing back and forth over his salty skin. “I know how tough and confusing this whole thing can be, but I’m always going to be here to help you through it. I owe it to you after everything you’ve done for me.”

Yuuri frowns. “What I've done for you?”

Victor smiles. “I felt like eventing and competing and winning were a shackle around my neck. I didn’t ride for pleasure at all and rarely spent quality time with Makkachin. It was just training and competing day in and day out. And then that anniversary celebration happened and you in your beautiful drunken stupor brought life back into my life for an evening. Phichit made it possible for me to chase after what I knew I wanted - what I needed - and I’ve never been happier either. You breathed new life and love into this sport and into my life and I will be forever thankful to you for it.”

Yuuri moves to his tiptoes to press their foreheads together. “I wish I could marry you right now.”

Victor perks up, immediately full of energy. “You wanna do it? It can’t be that hard to find an ordained minister in an airport. Hey! Is anyone here a-”

Yuuri shut him up before any minister _actually_ shows up to marry them on the spot, although that would have been amazing. He reminds Victor that it’s also a legal matter; they’ll need to buy the papers to sign and make it official. The eventer goes pouty, but is soon back to his smiling self once Yuuri distracts his driving by kissing his ring over and over again.

It seems like they’re never not touching somehow for the rest of the evening. Whether it’s holding hands or pressing their knees together while they eat or cuddling on the couch (something they both missed _so_ much), they don’t let go of one another all night. In bed, they lie close together and kiss until they fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am Satan, and Saferion is my tiny Satan. We will murder all of your emotions!


	28. Silver Linings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Russian Nationals are being held in the beginning of April when the weather begins to warm and they’re all working hard to be ready for it. Everyone but the three Classics rider and single Olympian. The next Classic Event is the Rolex in late April and Yakov is busy with his other students, so they take the time to do some much needed relaxing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to the Russian Fairy! I love you my delicate, angry punk of a son. You get this chapter because of this special occasion, and also because it was ready anyway.  
> I need to talk to ya'll really quickly. Depending on the day and time, chapters with either get lots of hits or hardly any at all, and I'm worried about this because it means many of you that might want to read the latest update won't be able to because you aren't seeing it. So, I am going to be giving you all dates and times as to when I will be posting the next chapter. As of now, the next chapter will go up on Saturday, March 4th at 4pm Eastern Standard Time. I have a long paper to write for my science class, so I need the rest of this week to work on that. I hope this helps ya'll tune in if you really want to read the next chapter but often miss out.  
> Enjoy the chapter, lovelies! I'll see ya'll on Saturday.

The honeymoon feeling of being reunited with Victor fades the next morning. He missed the coffee in bed and early morning kisses, but there’s a nagging guilt in his gut. He feels like he should have stayed with his family for longer, helped on the farm, made sure they were all okay. Instead, he ran off for his own selfish reasons.

Yuuri tells Victor there’s no point in going back when he voices his feelings to his fiancé. He’ll have to call them more often to let them know his thoughts are with them.

Eros is incredibly happy to see him his first day back at the barn. She nearly jumps him when Yuuri opens her stall door and steps inside. She nibbles at his hair and presses her face to his chest, demanding hugs which she receives.

“I missed you too, girl,” Yuuri chuckles as he scratches under her mane.

That day is the beginning of several in which Victor hardly leaves his fiancé’s side. While Yuuri loves the company, it gets really annoying really quickly. He knows his fiancé is concerned about him, and he is very right to be, but constantly being around one another is not going to fix that problem. They don’t always need to shower together, they don’t always need to read on the couch together, he doesn’t have to go out and buy ice cream every night (not that Yuuri's complaining), and Victor doesn’t need to constantly be asking Yuuri if he’s okay. Despite the annoyance, he doesn’t have it in him to tell his fiancé off.

Yuuri’s birthday arrives, and he prays as hard as he can for a quiet day.

It starts that way. Victor makes a big breakfast and brings it to him in bed. They eat and kiss and talk and everything feels a little normal again. Victor announces that he’s gotten the day off for them, convincing Mila and Georgi to take care of their horses so they can go out on the town to celebrate Yuuri’s birthday.

The spend the majority of the day at his favorite museums in the city. Yuuri’d like to enjoy the art and exhibits, but Victor is constantly talking. He reads the descriptions of the paintings aloud or talks endlessly about rocks and minerals. By the time they’re heading to dinner, Yuuri is ready to punch him in the throat.

He knows that Victor is trying to keep his mind off of what happened in Japan, but it’s not helping. He doesn’t want to forget. He wants to remember Niki and grieve and move past it in his own time. He was able to do that with Vicchan, Victor understood when it came to Yuuri’s old gelding, so why can’t he understand it now?

Part of the blame goes to Yuuri himself. He hasn’t exactly been communicating his feelings that well, hasn’t really been able to speak or put up much of a fight at all. Victor is a physical person, better at using his actions than his words. Yuuri doesn’t need either right now. He needs silence and stillness so he can think.

Victor stops outside a fancy restaurant, parking the car and stepping out onto the sidewalk. He turns back to his fiancé with a smile. “Coming?”

Yuuri looks past him to the restaurant and the people inside. It looks cramped and dim and loud. Considering how he’s fidgeting, there’s no doubt that he’ll go off or break down inside, making a scene and ruining everyone’s evening. His leg bounces and his heart races and he just can’t.

“Yuuri?” Victor has gotten back into the driver’s seat and closed the door. He reaches out to his fiancé. “Are you okay?”

And that’s when he snaps.

“NO! I’m _not_ okay!” Yuuri pushes Victor’s hands away, hating the face his fiancé makes but he needs to get this out. “I haven’t been okay since I got back! I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but keeping me from thinking about it _at all_ is not helping! Niki is dead, Vitya, and I need to be able to grieve or I’ll never be able to move on! I do want your help in this, but I also need time to be alone. None of this is working and I’m sorry but I can’t take it anymore!”

Yuuri hates himself for putting the terrified look on Victor’s face, but he’s so damn frustrated. He falls back against the car seat, closing his eyes and breathing to try and calm down.

“… what do you want to do right now?” Victor’s voice is soft and timid.

Yuuri sighs. “I want to go home.”

The car ride back is silent, and when they get back to the apartment, Yuuri immediately goes into the bathroom and locks the door behind him. He undresses, turns on the shower, and finally allows himself to grieve.

Yuuri cries. He cries for the absence of Niki in his life, he cries as he blames himself, he cries as he forgives himself, he cries for his fear of losing Eros, he cries as he misses his family, he cries and he cries and he cries.

Yuuri feels a lot better when he gets out of the shower after his fingers have become prune-ish, and he towels himself off. He half dresses himself in a t-shirt and boxers, pausing when he picks up a comb from the sink counter. His hair has gotten much longer since he got to St. Petersburg, the ends curling around the nap of his neck. Victor loves combing and playing with it. Yuuri sighs and brings the comb with him as he exits the bathroom.

The first thing he notices is the smell. It’s a smell he recognizes immediately, something he grew up loving and his stomach growls. Yuuri walks down the hall and steps into the kitchen. A huge bouquet of red roses sits in a vase on the island. Victor stands by the stove, flipping two pork cutlets in a sizzling pan. A mixture of vegetables sautes in another pan and two bowls of rice sit to the side.

Victor looks up when Yuuri walks in. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Yuuri can’t stop staring at the food. “What’s all this?”

“I was going to surprise you with it later this week, but considering the circumstances, I thought tonight would be more appropriate,” Victor explains. He wrings his hands out as he continues. “It’s my way of saying sorry.”

Yuuri smiles up at his fiancé, wrapping his arms around the eventer’s neck. “You’re forgiven.”

Victor grins widely and kisses him, holding Yuuri close by the small of his back. He stops the eventer from kissing him again with a finger to his lips. “You’re forgiven _if_ you stop constantly breathing down my neck and wait for _me_ to come to _you._ I want to be able to grieve properly and if I need you for anything, I won’t hesitate to tell you.”

“Deal.” Victor kisses him again before Yuuri can stop him.

They sit down and eat, kissing between bites and feeding each other bits of pork and rice that drip onto their clothes. Victor combs Yuuri’s hair while he opens his presents later that evening. Thankfully, there aren’t as many as last year, mostly just used books that the eventer picked out with care and a set of adorable horse-print pajamas.

When they’re in bed, Yuuri curled up against his fiancé’s chest and about to drift to sleep, Victor mumbles into his hair, “I’m sorry.”

Yuuri turns his head and presses a kiss to his collarbone. “You did what you did out of love. Just don't do it again. Now shut up and go to sleep.”

Victor chuckles and holds him closer.

 

Victor’s birthday comes and goes, another quiet day for the two riders. By the time February comes around, things are picking up around the barn for the younger riders, Yurio especially. The Russian Nationals are being held in the beginning of April when the weather begins to warm and they’re all working hard to be ready for it. Everyone but the three Classics rider and single Olympian. The next Classic Event is the Rolex in late April and Yakov is busy with his other students, so they take the time to do some much needed relaxing.

They only take one spontaneous day trip to Moscow because Yakov almost ripped out what was left of his hair in anger when he found out they weren’t at the stable. They spend a lot of their time in the orchard or riding through the cross country course that’s covered in snow. They have to dry their clothes every night and cuddle up by the fireplace to keep from getting frostbite.

There’s a little celebration for Yurio’s birthday in March. Yakov and Lilia give him small gifts while the other riders give him well-wishes and sweets. Yuuri tries to tell him ‘happy birthday’, but the seventeen year old ignores him. He’s there to watch when Victor tells the teen about his present; the eventer had to jump through some hoops, but he managed to get Yurio into the highest level in the Nationals. The young rider nearly leaps for joy, hugging Agape and thanking Victor over and over again. The eventer doesn’t mention that it was Yuuri’s idea.

As the older riders begin getting ready for the Classics again, Yuuri finds himself watching Yurio’s training sessions with Lilia and Yakov during his breaks. He and Victor make it a regular thing, eating lunch in the bleachers off the arena and making notes of their own on the teen’s riding.

“He’s gotten much better with his jumping,” Yuuri observes, taking the cup of tea that Victor hands him. “But I’m still worried about just how much he uses that crop.”

“Mmm.” Victor sips at his own mug. “It’s be fine if it were just for cues or discipline, but there isn’t a better behaved horses than Agape. I wonder what would happen if the crop were taken away completely…”

“Would Yakov listen if you suggested it?”

“No,” Victor sighs. “He’s too stubborn to accept advice on how to teach his students from anyone other than Lilia.”

“… would _she_ listen if you suggested it?”

Victor opens his mouth, but closes it a moment later, his face set in a pondering expression as he sips his tea. Yuuri waits as his fiancé goes into the arena to whisper to Lilia for a few minutes. He sits back down and they watch as the two coaches talk before Yakov calls out for Yurio to drop his whip and jump the course again.

“How am I supposed to get him to listen?” Yurio calls back.

“Use your legs and your eyes!” Lilia orders. “If you both are connected as horse and rider should be, you’ll need only the turn of your head and press of your legs to cue to Agape what you want him to do.”

Yurio rolls his eyes, but urges the gelding into a canter and begins the course again. Victor and Yuuri watch with baited breath as the teen truly rides. Yuuri beams with pride as Yurio and Agape jump the best course he’s ever seen them do. The teen’s cues are much more observable than they should be, but it’s better that he’s letting the gelding turn around the press of his leg than the whip of a crop. Agape even seems to be having fun. The pair finish the course, Yurio halting his horse in front of the coaches.

Yuuri and Victor leap to their feet, clapping and cheering. Yurio sneers at them both while Yakov yells for them to get their horses ready for afternoon training. The teen refuses to look at them both for the rest of the week.

The day of the Russian Nationals arrives, and Yuuri and Victor do their best to stay out of everyone’s way while they tack their horses up for an orchard ride. Yuuri is adjusting Eros’s girth when he notices a string of curses coming from a stall down the aisle. He walks towards the noise and stops when he sees Yurio struggling to do Agape’s mane in clean braids.

“Do you want help?” Yuuri asks.

The boy turns to him sharply and he’s surprised to see the young rider’s eyes are puffy and red. “No! Go away, pig!”

Yuuri does, but only to get Victor and they return to the boy’s stall.

Yurio doesn’t look pleased to see them. “ _I said ‘go away’, fatso!_ ”

“We just want to help, Yurio.” Yuuri holds up his hands in peace. “Victor does Eros’s braids better than I ever could and I can help with your nerves-”

“ _I’M NOT NERVOUS!_ ” Yurio snaps at them. Agape nuzzles at the boy’s hands.

“They’re just breathing exercises. Can we come in?”

Yurio doesn’t stop them when they do and lets Yuuri guide him to a corner of the stall while Victor goes to work on Agape’s mane. The rider leads the teen through basic breathing techniques. Breathe in through the nose, hold for a moment, breathe out through the mouth. They repeat the cycle slowly until Yurio has calmed down and Victor has finished the braids in Agape’s mane. The teen gives them grumbled ‘thank you’s and they wish him good luck.

Yurio and Agape, crop excluded, get first place in the highest level of the Nationals’ Three-Day Event. Victor and Yuuri hardly let him go five minutes without showering him in praise. Yuuri thinks the teen secretly likes the attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crop - a riding whip used for discipline and cues during riding. It can become an abusive tool when used incorrectly and every rider should be taught proper use of the crop when they first start out
> 
> Some More Fun Canon Stuff for You: An OtaYuri and MilaSara special  
> \- Sara and Mila first met at the Longines Grand Prix where their horses where stabled next to each other. Mila's horse had a rock stuck in his hoof and Sara had helped her get it out because the gelding was so fidgety. They had stared back and forth at each other all day until Mila plucked up the courage to ask her out to dinner that night. Of course, Sara said yes  
> \- Mickey tried to stop Sara from going until he saw that her date was a girl. He was still skeptical, but felt better about Sara going out with "a strong, beautiful girl than a nasty, rude man." Sara was embarrassed but Mila had felt honored  
> \- After a few more dates over the course of their first Classic series, Sara asked Mila to be her girlfriend, to which the latter was overjoyed and of course, said yes  
> \- They would text and Skype every day and once a month met in person. Sometimes Mila would fly to Italy, sometimes Sara would go to Russia, other times they met in the middle in Berlin or Prague or Amsterdam. These away dates are their favorite because they get to be away from everyone and just be together with no distractions  
> \- They have sex for the first time on that trip to Amsterdam, the love in the spring air getting to them. They got some noise complaints from their hotel room neighbors  
> \- Currently, they're trying to move in together and are unsure if Sara should go to Russia or if they should move elsewhere in Europe. They're considering London, but think St. Petersburg is their best option. Sara is thinking about proposing after this Classics series
> 
> \- Yurio had been alone on the rooftop of the hotel in Paris when Otabek showed up and joined him in looking out over the city. When the teenager had snapped at him, the Classics rider had been unfazed. Instead, he reminded Yurio of their time together in one of Yakov's riding camps for young students. They had talked for a while on the rooftop before going out on Beky's motorcycle to look around the city as the sun has set before getting something to drink and heading back to join the others for dinner  
> \- Otabek had laughed at Yura's disgusted face when Victor announced his engagement to Yuuri  
> \- Beka and Yura text each other all day and have worked out a schedule to Skype throughout the day during their breaks and at night  
> \- Beka mostly listens as Yura complains about Yuuri and Victor or how 'hard' or 'unfair' his coaches are being. Beka often has to remind him why they do so and give him the proper, technical details behind what they instruct the boy to do and why it will help his riding. These bits of advice from Beka have made Yura listen to his coaches more and take what they say as legit helpful teachings  
> \- Yura has been insisting that he continues to go to the Classic events, giving the excuse of wanting to see 'proper three-day eventers in action', but Yakov knows it's just to see Beka. He doesn't say anything to the teen and always has a plane ticket already bought for him  
> \- They've expressed their want to date each other several times, but Beka insists that they wait to properly start going out when Yura is eighteen. Yura complains, arguing that they're only two years and a few months apart in age, but Beka - being a gentleman - is adamant about this. He'll do nothing but kiss Yura on the cheek or top of the head  
> \- When Yura gets home on his seventeenth birthday, a package is waiting for him. Inside is a plush cat and leopard print leather jacket to "wear on the motorcycle" as the note says. It's signed 'Love, Otabek'. Yura smiles at the note giddily all night


	29. Concrete Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor sit on the edge of the pond, the former tentatively skimming his fingers over the surface of the water while the latter leans against him. Yuuri looks to his fiance and pats his head. “You okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your guys' patience! Sorry about the wait. Here you go; some fluff with extra fluff on the side and a dash of meta humor.  
> Enjoy!  
> P.S. Next chapter will be up either Monday at 2pm EST or Tuesday at 5pm EST

“You wanna do  _ what _ ?!”

“Stop in New York City on the way to the Rolex,” Victor repeats. “We’ll go a day early, spend it in the city, and then fly to Kentucky the next morning.”

“I got that, but  _ why _ ?”

“I love it there, and I’d like to show you my favorite places.”

Yuuri stares at his fiancé, the delicate blues eyes he adores wide and begging and never in a million years is he gonna be able to say ‘no’ to those eyes.

“Fine, but Mila is taking care of Eros while we’re gone. I don’t want another Georgi incident.”

“Yes, sir,” Victor salutes him, grinning. “You’re going to love it, моя любовь.”

 

New York is loud and cramped and smells  _ terrible _ . It gets better once they leave Broadway, but Yuuri couldn’t stand the stink of everything. He’s certain he saw dog poop and vomit in the street and was too busy watching where he was stepping to look at the musical signs Victor was pointing out to him.

Central Park is a much needed and appreciate escape from the bustle of the crowded part of the city, and Yuuri has to admit… it’s quite beautiful. It’s late April, so it’s a nice and warm day with a slight breeze. Half the trees are still devoid of leaves, but squirrels run across the stretches of grass and up the giant rocks that protrude from the ground.

Victor takes him through every area of the park, winding around pathways and up hidden hills and to large pond and over bridges and it’s wonderful. He’s so enthusiastic to show Yuuri every part of the park and he loves seeing the joy it brings his fiancé. They climb up the Alice in Wonderland statue off the sailboat pond, reciting the quotes written around it in the stone tiles and trying to remember the rest of the Jabberwocky poem to the best of their ability. They get lost after ‘snicker-snack.’ They watch turtles swim in the turtle pond and climb up a hill hidden in a dense section of forest to lie on the rocks, rest, and kiss before moving on.

Next up are the two museums off the park. They go to the Natural History Museum first, Victor practically dragging Yuuri to the marine biology room to show him the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling. On the floor of the room, people lie underneath it and in a corner of the space, a little dome is set up where people are lining up to go inside. They decide to check it out.

When they finally enter the little space, they find people sitting on the floor and staring up at the ceiling of the dome. It’s like a mini planetarium, with a projector in the center shining a movie up onto the ceiling of the dome, showing scenes of the ocean and different sea creatures that make Yuuri feel like he’s swimming alongside them. They sit on the ground near the wall, Yuuri watching the movie completely enraptured while Victor rests his head against his shoulder. His fiancé peppers kisses along his neck and Yuuri allows him to capture his mouth with his lips, trying to be quiet as to not disturb the other patrons.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art is just, if not more, wonderful than the other one. They get lost in mazes of rooms of art, finding Monet and Van Gogh and marveling at the beauty of their brush strokes and color use. They walk through a portion of museum that’s completely decorated like a French palace. There’s a four-poster bed with sheets the most glorious shade of blue. Even Victor’s eyes can’t match the magnificence of this shade of blue.

Their journey and aching feet lead them to sit in what Victor describes as one of the most famous rooms in the MET: the Temple of Dendur. The room is easily one of the biggest in the building, ceiling high in the air above them. Half of the space is devoted to the Temple itself, the other to a small pond flanked by Egyptian statues. One of the walls is tilted outward slightly and is made completely of windows. Dusk is visible through them, turning the light of the room into a warm glow.

Yuuri and Victor sit on the edge of the pond, the former tentatively skimming his fingers over the surface of the water while the latter leans against him. Yuuri looks to his fiancé and pats his head. “You okay?”

“Mhmm,” Victor answers without opening his eyes.

“Tired?”

“Mhmm.”

“Nervous about the Olympics?”

Victor shrugs.

“They’re coming up. You sure you’re not worried?”

“I’m sure Makkachin will do wonderfully.”

“Alright. Just let me know if you do get nervous and I’ll help however I can. I owe it to you after all you’ve done for me.”

Victor smiles and turns to kiss Yuuri’s shoulder. “That’s what I’ve loved about being with you.”

“Hmm?” Yuuri plays with his fiancé’s hair.

“Mutual communication,” Victor explains. “It takes us no longer than a few days to open up to each other and talk about the problem and work out a solution and take immediate action to fix it. No need for screaming matches or long periods of miscommunication.”

“That stuff only happens in movies,” Yuuri says.

“You’d be surprised,” Victor responds. “I’ve had quite a few partners who refused to reasonably talk about  _ any  _ problem.”

“Well… it only happens in  _ healthy  _ relationships in movies.” Yuuri frowns to himself. “Why do they insist on using that dated plot device over and over?”

“They think it’s the only way to create relationship drama.”

“Well, it’s  _ not _ ! That’s so stupid. Just injure one of them or put them in a taxing situation. That’ll help strengthen the believability of their relationship more than miscommunication will!”

“Shh. Don’t give anyone any ideas.” Yuuri chuckles at his fiancé’s sleepy voice. “You would be a good writer.”

Yuuri shakes his head. “No. I’m terrible with words.”

Victor looks up at him, eyes finally opening. “I call bullshit on that.”

Yuuri chuckles again and leans down to kiss him.

They get a hot pretzel on their way to the hotel, Victor going on and on about the other places in New York that they should go when they have more time: the High Line and the MOMA and some amazing pizzerias and Carnegie Hall and Bryant Park in winter during the fair and Strand Bookstore down by Union Square and Rockaway beach.

“Y’know what, Vitya?”

“What?”

“You were right. I  _ do  _ love it here.”

“… should we move here when we get married?”

** “Not  _ that  _ much!” **


	30. American Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eros is very happy when Yuuri and the other riders walk out to the course. She tosses her head into the rain and prances along the paths. Victor chuckles as the mare nudges Yuuri with her nose and he scratches her, the mare nickering happily when he does so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, my horse whores? I'm just kidding; I am the only horse whore.  
> This is super exciting! 20 more chapters left! I've been writing and planning nonstop and I'm super excited for ya'll to read these last few dozen chapters. I have a lot to do these next few days, so I'm gonna set the time for the next chapter's posting to be this Friday, March 10th at 2pm Eastern Standard Time.  
> Enjoy, my lovelies!

The Rolex Kentucky in Lexington is just six days before the next event in the Classics series; the Badminton Horse Trials in South Gloucestershire in Great Britain.

Kentucky is warmer than New York and much less smelly. Eros settles easily into the Kentucky Horse Park barn as she always does. The Park’s grounds are huge and incredibly fancy. Yuuri would almost say it’s more fancy than the stable at St. Petersburg. The buildings are all white with blue trim and the fences of the pastures are stainless ivory posts. While their horses are relaxing, some of the riders walk onto the cross country course.

The jumps are very well designed, much different from the ones in Pau and Adelaide. The Rolex is different from those in that it’s much more well-known and popular than the rest of the Classics series. Plus, it’s in America and sponsored by a major company, so that gives it an edge over the others.

The cross country jumps are shaped like detailed logs and fallen trees and wooden ducks for the water jumps and horseshoes out of hedges. The height of them is intimidating from the ground, but they won’t be from Eros’s back.

The day of dressage arrives and Yuuri is the most nervous he’s ever been before a Classics competition. The Kentucky Horse Park can host up to seven thousand people in its outdoor arena, making it the largest crowd he’ll ever have to ride in front of. Once Eros is tacked up, he snuggles into his fiancé outside her stall. Victor puts his arms around Yuuri without question.

“You okay?” He asks against his fiancé’s hair.

“Yeah,” Yuuri mumbles in response against his shoulder. “Just nervous about the crowd size.”

“Focus on Eros,” Victor instructs. “Don’t think about anything else and you’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

They watch from the sidelines as the other riders trot their horses out and perform. Sara and Mira do very well, coming up in second, just behind her girlfriend. Phichit and Terra take third with their beautiful routine, Chris barely managing to come close to them in a distant fourth. By the time Yuuri mounts Eros as one of the final riders of the day, he’s determined and less nervous than he was before. Victor held him until he calmed down and now he listens to Yakov’s advice just before his turn.

“You know the drill,” the coach begins. “Keep a feel for her mouth and focus on her only. You’ll do very well that way.”

Yuuri nods but is still tense when Eros trots into the arena and signals for his music. The mare snorts as she moves in a passage to enter the dressage pens and halts for her rider’s bow. It’s not her fault that she’s sensitive to the slightest change in his emotions. Eros breaks from her collected canter and isn’t as perfect at her pirouettes as she usually is. At the end of the day, Yuuri and his mare are between Chris and Phichit to place fourth.

In the hotel room later that evening, Victor regards him with a concerned look as they get ready for bed.

“Do you need anything?” He asks Yuuri when his fiancé comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered.

The rider shrugs. “A distraction would be nice.”

Victor perks up. “I have just the thing!”

He produces a magazine that he places between them when Yuuri sits on the bed. He flips through the pages and it’s immediately clear what the book is for.

“Wedding suits?” Yuuri raises an eyebrow.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Victor excuses. “Besides, they’re so nice and it’s never too soon to start planning.”

Yuuri smiles at his fiancé’s enthusiasm. “Alright, what did you have in mind?”

Victor recommends some matching ones, but he’s not sure about them. They have different styles; Vitya likes the more extravagant multi-pieced suits while Yuuri prefers the simple and pastel ones. They spend the night arguing over how “no, you cannot get the shiny gold suit, Victor” and “do we really need ties  _ and  _ boutonnieres?” They fall asleep after finally agreeing on a simple tie style, Victor to wear it in pink and Yuuri in blue.

Victor goes to get coffee the next morning while Yuuri puts together the safety equipment he’ll need for cross country. At Yu-topia, the students taking jumping lessons are required to wear one of these pieces while they ride; the protective vest. It became a rule when one of the young boys fell and bruised his ribs during one of Chrispi’s hissy fits.

In the stable, the vet is already going around and checking on the horses. Yuuri just finishes putting on Eros’s bell boots when she comes to the stall and deems the mare safe and sound. It begins raining not long after, the course beginning to fill up with water as the crowds takes places around the jumps. The course won’t be any more unsafe to ride on, but the weather may hinder the speed of the horses.

Eros is very happy when Yuuri and the other riders walk out to the course. She tosses her head into the rain and prances along the paths. Victor chuckles as the mare nudges Yuuri with her nose and he scratches her, the mare nickering happily when he does so. The eventer holds on to his fiancé while they wait for his turn. As they get word of the eliminations due to falls - including Emil - those arms get tighter around Yuuri.

“Do you have to do this every time?” He asks the eventer.

“Yes.” Victor presses a kiss to his fiancé’s shoulder.

“Eros has never made a mistake on a cross country course. Nothing bad is going to happen to us.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

Yuuri sighs. Why is he always right? “What would make you feel better?”

“… marry me right now?”

Yuuri rolls his eyes to Victor’s giggles. He mounts Eros just before his turn, kissing the eventer’s engagement ring for good luck. The mare takes off with a quick tap of his heels, eating up the ground as she gallops forward and jumps the first two fences flawlessly. Yuuri slows Eros to a quick canter, wary of the wet terrain they’re moving across. He gives her a bit of her head, keeping her slower while allowing her to find her own footing.

The rain gives a chill to the air and helps to wash away Yuuri’s sweat. Eros huffs in time with her strides, helping her rider to time out when they need to take off before jumps. The water is no problem, and the slower pace and longer reins allow the mare to move easier over the muddy terrain. They finish just two seconds over the allotted time. At the finish, the vet waits for Eros and Victor for Yuuri. His fiancé holds him close while the mare is deemed physically sound.

Yuuri has the fastest time, bumping him past Phichit to take third place before the final day of the Rolex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys. Ya'll will get more wedding talk as the chapters go on.


	31. I Walk the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor giggles when he turns to see that Eros has completely ruined Yuuri’s hair. His fiance combs through it with his fingers and gets it back to look relatively presentable before he puts on his helmet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have something important I want to talk to ya'll about.  
> So, I'm a college student and there's a lot of stuff I'd like to be doing or need to be doing, but I end up devoting my time to planning and writing this fic. I want to get some recognition for what I'm doing and I know it's gonna sound like I'm complaining, but taking the time to comment more than two sentences on a chapter is the least you can do considering what I'm doing for you. I work my ass off in school so I can have enough time to bring you these chapters - written and edited to my personal satisfaction - on a regular basis. Two minutes of your time is not going to hurt anybody and will give me a lot more confidence with what I'm doing. It makes me incredibly frustrated and depressed when I check on the fic's status and see a bunch more hits and no new comments. Maybe two or three of you new regularly comment and if you're wondering why there are so many comments considering my complaining, I respond to every. Single. Comment. Meaning half of those comments are mine.  
> The next chapter will go up at 4pm Eastern Standard Time on Saturday or Sunday.  
> I hope you enjoy.  
> (Tiny Satan, you are exempt from the commenting rule)

The morning of the show jumping day of the Rolex, Yuuri and the Russian riders get to the arena first to walk the course. There are twenty jumps but before the competition, at least five will be taken away for the final course. They’re given the order of the jumps and find the number of strides between combinations, looking for the best places in the arena to turn to reach the center of the fence. The arena at the Kentucky Horse Farm is bigger than the ones at the other Classic Events, making the distance between jumps longer.

Yuuri finds himself spending a lot of time at the final jump set of the course; a triple line with the final fence set as an oxer. He checks the stride count again, two of his wide steps equating to one canter stride. There are two between the first jumps, five before the oxer. This setup is not uncommon, especially as final jumps, but Yuuri is still nervous about it. It combines the two jump types Eros had the most difficulty with.

“Yuuri.” He looks up to see Yakov standing beside him. “You’ve been over her for a while.”

“I’m a bit worried about this final triple,” he says honestly.

“Why?” The coach frowns. “You and Eros always do well over these.”

“She likes to go fast,” Yuuri begins. “So she extends her stride and it’s hard to keep her collected.”

“Right.”

“It took a long time to get her going over triples right; keeping the power in her stride while also keeping it collected. She does it now, but these with the oxer as the final fence adds a layer of difficulty. She needs to be collected for the first two jumps and extended for the last one.”

“She’ll be fine,” Yakov assures him. “You tend to worry too much.”

Yuuri smiles. “I know. I can’t help it.”

“It’s not always a bad thing,” Yakov says. “It makes you care more for those you love, but it can also make you doubt yourself.” The coach rests a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Never doubt yourself.”

Yuuri frowns. “Are we still talking about riding?”

Yakov smiles softly, pats his shoulder, and walks away.

Later that morning, the young riders crowd around in the stable, making plans to get BBQ tonight. Yuuri watches with a gentle grin as Victor jokes and laughs with his friends. He hardly notices as Eros nibbles and messes up his hair.  _ God  _ he’s so in love. It still blows his mind how any of this was able to happen.

It makes Yuuri wonder about fate and the series of events that had to occur for them to meet and fall in love. Vicchan’s death which caused Yuuri to get drunk that night which caused Victor to become infatuated with him and later would be the driving force for him to come to Japan and what would have happened if Phichit had said nothing after the Rolex two years ago? Does it matter? They’re here now, and things Yuuri never would have thought possible have been happening nonstop.

He met his idol and just a few months later, started dating his idol. A year later, he proposed to his idol in Paris and placed the ring on his finger as his idol  _ cried _ at the idea of them spending their lives together. Now, Yuuri’s idol is planning the wedding they haven’t set a date for but jumps at the idea of getting married immediately but wants to showcase their love to their closest friends and family. Now, Yuuri knows what his idol smells like after a shower, how he likes his coffee, what his cooking tastes like, just how much Victor needs to be cuddled because his feet get cold even when he’s wearing socks.

The craziest part of this whole thing is that… his idol actually  _ loves him back _ .

Victor giggles when he turns to see that Eros has completely ruined Yuuri’s hair. His fiancé combs through it with his fingers and gets it back to look relatively presentable before he puts on his helmet.

The other riders jump the course in front of seven thousand onlookers and the twitch in Yuuri’s fingers intensifies as he watches. That last triple has the majority of the horse and rider pairs knocking over at least two poles during their rounds. Chris is the only one who rides a clean round and Sara knocks four, causing them to switch places; Sara going down to fourth and Chris getting bumped up to second. If Yuuri and Eros knock a single pole, they’ll take the Italian rider’s riders place and she’ll take third.

As Yuuri goes to kiss Victor’s ring before he sends Eros into the arena, his fiancé takes his face in his hands and presses their lips together. When they pull back, Victor is blushing softly. “Good luck, моя любовь.”

With a squeeze of his calves, Eros trots forward into the arena. They circle and at the sound of the bell, the mare picks up a canter at her rider’s signal.

The first few fences are basic vertical jumps and she gets over them with ease. They come up to their first oxer, Eros excitedly lengthening her strides. Yuuri collects her once more and counts, one, two, one, two, one, two, three, four and he sits up into jumping position as the mare leaps the side-by-side poles. He settles back into the saddle as she lands with a soft jolt and they continue towards their first line.

As they continue through the course, the looming challenge of the final triple gets closer and closer. Yuuri doesn’t want the second to last jump to come, but they inevitably land on the other side of it and head to the final triple. He holds Eros’s mouth close with the reins and puts his leg on, signaling for her to collect her canter while holding in her energy.

The first jump is smooth. Eros lands and Yuuri stays in two-point for the two strides before the next fence. He holds the position as she conquers the second jump. With a release of the reins and a press of his heels, her stride extends and they sail over the oxer. The crowd erupts into cheers when Eros lands on the other side of the fence. Yuuri looks back as he hugs his mare’s neck to see all the poles perfectly in place, not a single one knocked over.

Mila and Sala win the Rolex, Chris comes in second, and Yuuri takes third. He watches with a smile as the Russian rider holds her trophy high and accepts the crown of yellow roses Victor places on her head. Sara kisses her girlfriend in front of the cameras with her fourth place ribbon in hand.

As of now, Chris is in the lead for the overall Classics rankings, Yuuri is in second, and Otabek and Mila are tied for third.

 

The next morning, Yuuri and the other Russian riders go down to the stable to get their horses ready for the plane ride to England. He knocks on Eros’s stall door when he doesn’t see her face peeking over it to greet him. “Wake up, lazy lady. We’ve got to get ready to go to Badminton-”

Yuuri’s voice cuts off when his heart jumps into his throat and chokes him.

Eros lies on the floor of the stall, sweating and gut making heart-wrenchingly familiar noises.

“Vitya!” Yuuri screams down the aisle before rushing into the stall. Eros stands with effort to meet him, pressing her face to his chest and painfully nickering at him, almost as if she’s asking him for help. He wraps his arms around her. “I’m here, girl. It’s gonna be okay.”

Victor appears at the stall door when Yuuri presses his ear to her side. “What’s wrong?”

Yuuri swallows a sob. “It’s colic. She’s got colic.”

“Блядь,” Victor mutters, turning to shout for their coach.

Yuuri checks Eros’s feed bucket, finding a small amount of a grain he doesn’t recognize. “Who fed the horses last night?”

“I think it was one of the barn workers,” Victor answers. Yakov appears and the eventer tells him what’s happened.

Yuuri scratches under Eros’s mane as she leans into him. He coos to her while trying to calm himself down. She was fine last night, so they found it almost immediately. She’ll be alright as long as they get her a vet soon. But she’ll never be able to compete in six days…

“Yuuri.” He looks up to his fiancé in the doorway of the stall. Victor rushes over to him and wipes away the tears he didn’t realize were flowing down his cheeks. “She’ll be fine, моя любовь. We found it right away, we just need a vet-”

“I know, I know,” Yuuri cuts him off. “But what about Badminton? She’ll never get well enough in time.”

Victor’s mouth sets in a straight line and Yuuri can virtually see the cogs in his head turning. Moments later, his fiancé leaves the stall and furiously dials a number on his phone.

He speaks when the call is answered. “Lilia, it’s Victor. It’s an emergency. Eros has colic… I know. Listen, I need you to put Makkachin on a plane to England tomorrow and call Dr. Petrov… Yes, I know she’s expensive but she’s the best vet in the area… tell her I’ll cover the costs. I’ll text you what I need packed for Makkachin and when Eros will be coming in to St. Petersburg… Thank you so much, Lilia.”

Victor takes a deep breath when he hangs up the phone, turning back to his fiance.

“What the hell, Vitya?” Yuuri exclaims.

“We’ll send Eros back to St. Petersburg,” Victor begins. “Dr. Petrov is the best vet in Russia; I’d trust her with the health of any horse.”

“But, Badminton-”

“You’ll ride Makkachin in Badminton.”


	32. Stammi Vicino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The original plan was to immediately head to Bath once they landed, but now Victor and his fiance will stay behind in London to wait for Makkachin. The Badminton officials agreed to send a trailer the next day to pick up the champion horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I made a big deal about the comments the other day, but I'd like you to comment if, when, and whatever you can. Anything you guys comment will be very much appreciated.  
> I don't know when the next chapter will go up, I kinda want to take some time to rest now that I'm home. I think 4pm EST within the next four days. I'll see you guys then!  
> Enjoy!

“ _ What _ ?!”

Victor takes a timid step back from his fiancé and Yuuri internally smacks himself. “Sorry, I just… how? I’ve never ridden him before. Is this even allowed?”

“It should be okay under the circumstances,” Victor explains, stepping back up to his fiancé. “And if I can ride Eros, you can definitely ride Makkachin. We have a few days before Badminton, I can teach you in time.”

“What about the Olympics? Doesn’t he need to rest?”

“One lower level event isn’t going to hurt him. It should actually help him get ready for the harder challenge.” Victor runs his fingers through his fiancé’s hair. “It’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Yuuri’s heartbeat starts to relax a little.

Yakov walks back up to them. “There’s a flight to St. Petersburg in five hours. I called the airport and they’re ready to accommodate Eros.”

“Someone has to go back with her,” Yuuri says. “I don’t want her going alone.”

“I’ll go,” Yakov offers.

“No, you’re their coach, they need you at Badminton,” Victor says. “I can call Chris and see if Sam’s willing to-”

“I’ll go back with her.”

The three of them turn to the teenager standing behind them.

“Yurio,” Yuuri begins. “You don’t have to-”

“I don’t want to hear it, pig,” Yurio cuts him off. “I’m the only one of you that doesn’t need to be in England. Besides… I owe you.”

“You don’t owe Yuuri anything,” Victor says. “And Eros doesn’t like you-”

“She likes me a lot more than you, geezer,” Yurio snaps. “Please, just let me do it before I change my mind.”

Yuuri stares at the teen for a moment before nodding. “You know how to take care of her?”

“Isn’t it just the same as with any horse?”

“Eros is a little more sensitive than other horses and she’s gonna be antsy.” Yuuri gestures for Yurio to follow him into her stall. “Don’t let her eat anything ‘cause there might be a blockage. Let her rest as much as possible unless she’s rolling or there’s a chance she’ll hurt herself. A sponge bath should help with the sweating.”

“Right.” Yurio pats the mare when she brings her head over to him.

“No, no, no,” Yuuri stops him from doing it again. “Don’t pat her hard like that. It reminds them of kicks and whips. Horses show affection through grooming, so if you scratch her, she’ll think you’re grooming her.”

“Whatever,” Yurio rolls his eyes, but scratches Eros’s cheeks to which she nibbles at his free hand.

Yuuri chuckles, looking out to his fiancé on the other side of the stall door. “She  _ does  _ like him more than you.”

 

They leave the teen with Eros and the Kentucky Horse Farm’s vet, Yuuri hugging the mare for a solid five minutes before agreeing to go. Victor lets him have the window seat on the airplane and he spends the entire ride to England staring at the clouds, feeling worse than he did when he had to leave his fiancé for Japan. Victor doesn’t try to overstep any boundaries, gently touching Yuuri’s arm and giving him concerned looks every once in awhile. He just turns back to the window and his fiancé makes no complaints. Yuuri wants to be alone with his thoughts.

The original plan was to immediately head to Bath once they landed, but now Victor and his fiancé will stay behind in London to wait for Makkachin. The Badminton officials agreed to send a trailer the next day to pick up the champion horse. Yuuri sits on the bed in their hotel room while Victor calls the St. Petersburg stable.

“Lila?” He asks when the phone is answered. “It’s Victor. Is Eros there?” His shoulders relax. “Good. And Dr. Petrov? Wonderful. I’m gonna give the phone to Yuuri.”

“How is she?” He asks the second he puts the cell to his ear.

“Were you never taught manners, Katsuki?” Comes the thickly accented response.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri blushes from embarrassment. “Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s no problem, and don’t worry,” he can hear her smile. “I know you’re worried about your mare. Eros is doing well. Dr. Petrov says it’s a buildup of gas and grain in her stomach. Once she passes it, she’ll be fine.”

Yuuri relaxes a little, letting out the breath he’s been holding for hours. “Thank god…”

“Yuratchka has been looking over her ever since they got back,” Lilia says. “She seems to be enjoying the company.”

Yuuri smiles. “That’s nice to hear. Will you keep me updated on her?”

“Of course. Good luck in Badminton.”

“Thank you.” He hangs up and gives the phone back to Victor.

“How’s she doing?” Yuuri’s fiancé asks him.

“It’s just a build up in her stomach,” he answers. “She’ll be fine when she passes everything.”

Victor smiles. “That’s good. You feeling better?”

Yuuri nods. “Yeah.” He opens his arms and his fiancé hugs him close.

Makkachin arrives the next morning. The driver of the trailer takes them to the runway next to the airport where the planes are parked. The horse, dressed in shipping boots and blankets, is lead out of the travel stall and given to Victor. The eventer hugs and pets his horse while Yuuri helps put the equipment into the bed of the truck. Once Makkachin is put into the trailer and the airport workers are thanked, the two riders and trailer driver begin the two hour journey to Bath.

 

The riders are staying in Bath between event days. The town is only a fifteen minutes drive from the Badminton grounds. Five days before the dressage day, Yuuri and Victor bring Makkachin to the warm up arena. Yakov stands close by while the rider mounts the champion horse with the help of the eventer.

“Go trot him around,” Victor instructs. Yuuri follows this order, Makkachin bouncing forward. “Once you understand how to ride him, everything else should be easy.”

“Right,” Yuuri nods. The champion horse’s jog is smooth like river waves. He responds instantly to the rider’s commands.

“The major difference I noticed while riding Eros is that she needs a heavier seat than Makkachin and that he’s steadier in his gaits.” Victor speaks up so Yuuri can hear him. “Lighten your seat, almost into a light seat position.” Yuuri follows his instructions, the horse moving easier underneath him. “He likes having his head. Keep just the lightest feel on his mouth.”

Yuuri does as Victor says for another few hours with breaks throughout. His legs get sore quickly and it becomes harder to keep a perfect position in the saddle. By the end of the day, he’s sweating harder than he ever has and Makkachin is just as energized as he was at the start of the day. Yuuri falls asleep immediately that night.

Over the next four days, they work towards getting the rider used to being on Makkachin, but they only make half the progress they need to. On the flat, they do well together. Yuuri almost masters getting the horse between gaits and keeping control over him the whole time. They’re decent at jumping as well, knocking at least one or two poles each round, but Yuuri finds the gelding easier to control and keep collected during courses.

Where they falter is in dressage.

Makkachin is much more sensitive to Yuuri’s commands, not needing spurs like Eros does. Yuuri is never expecting the movements to happen so soon, and he loses his balance for the first dozen times they practice. They often miss the cues for the movements in the music as the rider is used to a different timing than is needed for Makkachin. They try their hardest to get the dressage routine perfectly, but they always end up messing up several times while practicing.

The night before the first day, Yuuri lies on the hotel bed feeling completely defeated.

“Do you need anything?” He turns to meet Victor’s worried gaze.

“Have you heard from Lilia?” Yuuri asks as his fiancé gets into bed beside him.

“Eros is fine,” he answers. “She apparently passed some of the blockage today. Lilia said she’s doing better and that Yurio has been spoiling her.”

Yuuri smiles softly. “Good.” He lets Victor take his hand and press soft kisses against his knuckles. “I’m worried about tomorrow.”

Victor gives his palm one last kiss. “I know.” He presses his lips to his fiancé’s. “You’ll be fine. I believe in you.”

Yuuri smiles wider. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light seat - Often called three point position, light seat is when one sits up out of the saddle to where only their legs touch the horse and their rear end brushes against the back of the saddle with the horse's movements


	33. Migraine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you don’t do well in Badminton, do you think you still have a chance of winning the Classics this year?”  
> Yuuri’s forced smile falls before he speaks again. “We’ll have to see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, do I have a DOOZIE for you guys today! Next chapter will go up at 4pm EST some time before Saturday.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Yuuri is quiet the next morning.

Victor hasn’t gotten anything from Lilia since they woke up and the rider is fidgeting as he gets his show clothes on. Every notification ping of the eventer’s phone has Yuuri’s heart leaping and all it takes is a look from his fiancé to know it’s not from the Russian coach. She was getting better yesterday, but everything could have changed in the twelve hours they haven’t heard from the St. Petersburg stable.

Yuuri isn’t gonna stop worrying until he gets news about Eros’s condition, and these nerves could severely hinder his riding ability.

Suddenly, a weight is lifted off his face and his vision goes blurry. He turns to find Victor’s fuzzy face with what’s supposedly Yuuri’s glasses perched on his nose. He can just make out the grin on his fiancé’s face.

“How do I look?” The eventer spreads his arms, awaiting judgement.

Yuuri smiles softly. “I don’t know, I can’t see. Here, let me get a closer look.” He steps up to his fiancé and leans in to press their faces together, getting close enough to put a kiss on Victor’s lips and they burst into giggles.

They don’t hear from Lilia until they’re already down in the stable grooming Makkachin, and by then Yuuri has other things to worry about.

Some of the riders come up to him, asking about Eros and why the champion horse is in Badminton. When he explains the situation, Yuuri always gets one of two responses: sympathy and well-wishes for his mare, or anger that Makkachin is his replacement. Chris comes the closest to the middle ground, saying, “I hope Eros gets better, but you should know that this is now an unfair competition.”

Yuuri is the most nervous he’s ever been.

His heart is pounding and his fingers twitch as he does up Makkachin’s bridle straps and the air feels like it’s crushing him. The champion horse nudges at him with concern and every look from Victor is a worried one. His poor fiancé… This has to be stressful for him, worrying about two things he loves instead of just one.

Then, the FEI TV reporter arrives. Word about Makkachin must have spread fast considering the crew only takes an interest in Yuuri and the champion horse in place of Eros. Victor tries to get them to leave, but his fiancé agrees to an interview, hoping the talking will get him to calm down a little.

“How are you feeling about today?” The reporter asks right off the bat.

Yuuri does his best to smile. “Pretty good, but a little nervous.”

“Because of the horse you’re riding?”

“Yes. I’m not used to riding… um, Makkachin’s style, so I’m a bit worried about that.”

“Why are you riding Victor Nikiforov’s gelding instead of your own mare?”

“Eros is… uh, she has some health problems. She’s perfectly fine,” he adds quickly. “And she’ll be in Germany for the next event. My fiancé was kind enough to let me ride Makka for Badminton.”

She smiles. “That’s wonderful. But, are you nervous that your inexperience with this horse lead to a lower ranking in the FEI Classics leaderboard?”

Yuuri swallows. “... yes.”

“If you don’t do well in Badminton, do you think you still have a chance of winning the Classics this year?”

Yuuri’s forced smile falls before he speaks again. “We’ll have to see.”

The reporter thanks him for the interview and walks off, her crew following close behind.

Victor’s usual anxiety quelling tricks don’t work as the Event draws closer. Warm up does not go well, Makkachin reflecting Yuuri’s nerves and skittishness. His fiancé hugs him, brushes his hair, even gives him a massage, but none of it makes him relax. There’s something about this environment, the expectations of the crowd due to him being atop Makkachin, and being thousands of kilometers away from Eros. He misses her and he  _ hates _ not knowing how she is every second.

As the Event formally begins, Yuuri’s nerves worsen. Victor ends up taking him across the property to where the cross country course is being worked on. The dressage arena is far away and the cheers of the crowd are distant.

“Just relax, Yuuri,” his fiancé coos once more. “Breathe.”

“I’m trying,” Yuuri near snaps. “Have you heard from Lilia recently?”

“Eros is fine, моя любовь,” Victor says. “She is every time I ask.”

“I know, I’m just worried about her.” Yuuri runs his hands through his hair. “I’m worried about the Event and the Classics and everything and…” he trails off. "We should head back soon."

He begins towards the barn slowly, trying to breathe with the steady rhythm of his steps. He stops when his fiancé speaks.

"Yuuri... If you don’t place at least third today, I won’t marry you.”

He turns to stare at the eventer. Everything is quiet… then, Yuuri begins to cry.

Victor’s face immediately changes to one of worry and regret, a look that worsens as his fiancé speaks.

“Why would you say that?” Yuuri sobs, voice nearly a scream. “As if you’re testing me? You always make me stop thinking I need to earn your love, you always give it willingly, what would  _ ever  _ make you say otherwise?!”

“I just wanted to help-”

“By threatening me?!” Yuuri’s voice breaks and he allows it to get as loud as it wants. “You don’t think that’s been plaguing me? You think I don’t know the consequences of me riding Makkachin in this Event? I know I could put too much strain on him before the Olympics, I know that if I lose, I’ll ruin your image, so I’ve been psyching myself out all week but it’s only made things  _ worse _ ! I just want to get through this first Classics, I want to see you win gold at the Olympics, I just want to marry you, and I’m sorry that I could mess that all up in just  **_one day_ ** !”

“I… I’m sorry.”

Yuuri trembles as he sighs. “Just go. I need to be alone.”

He listens to Victor’s footsteps as his fiancé walks off.

Yuuri kicks at the grass with the pointed toe of his tall boots. Stupid Victor! It’s not like his mental problems just began, his fiancé is just ill equipped to deal with them and how constantly they change.

He breathes and stretches and tries to clear his head with the movements, but Victor’s priceless expression sticks in his mind’s eye. Yuuri does feel better after crying and getting all that out. “If you don’t place at least third today, I won’t marry you.” What on earth was he thinking that would accomplish?! Did he think the threat would motivate him instead of terrify him beyond belief?

Yuuri shakes his head. Forget his idiot fiancé. If he performs the routine as he practiced with Makkachin and remembers the horse’s behaviors, they should do well.

As he enters the stable just before his turn, Victor turns to look at him. His fiancé has the champion horse completely tacked up and ready in the aisle. They don’t speak as they join the Russian riders and their coach at the arena. Yakov gives the two eventers curious looks as he helps Yuuri mount Makkachin and get ready for his turn.

“Give him more head than you would Eros,” his coach says. “A softer feel on his mouth, softer cues, and lighter seat are what’s going to help you the most.”

Yuuri nods. “Thank you, coach.”

His name is announced and he trots Makkachin into the arena to the confused and amazed sounds of the crowd. He signals for the music, bows, and begins.

Yuuri follows his coach’s instructions to the best of his ability, but it’s a form of riding he’s so unused to, he’s bound to mess up at least a few times. And mess up he does. Makkachin does his best to save the routine, but Yuuri is so focused on his seat and rein length that a chunk of the time, he forgets to cue the next move several times. They do better than Yuuri expected, but ultimately fall to seventh place by the end of the day.

He doesn’t look at his fiancé for the rest of the afternoon.

 

Yuuri comes out of the bathroom later that night to find Victor already in bed. He sits on the edge of the mattress, feeling his fiancé’s eyes fixed on his back.

“I’m gonna start seeing someone in St. Petersburg,” Yuuri begins. “A therapist or psychiatrist maybe. The way things are now make these… episodes too stressful for us both.”

There’s silence until he feels the mattress shift underneath him and arms come around his waist. Yuuri turn to look at Victor and accepts the kiss pressed to his lips.

“I’m so sorry,” his fiance says against his mouth.

“It’s fine-”

“No, it’s not. I  _ never  _ should have said what I did.”

“You were stressed-”

“But you were more so and I made it worse.” Victor sighs and rests his head one Yuuri’s shoulder, cuddling against the crook of his neck.

Yuuri runs his fingers through his fiancé’s hair, holding him close with his free arm. He can’t think of anything to say. What do you say to the idiot you fell in love with after they’ve done something stupid?

Yuuri chuckles at the thought. “You’re an idiot.”

Victor looks up at him and Yuuri laughs harder at that adorably offended expression. He kisses that stupid face. “I love you.”

After a few more kisses, Victor smiles. “You’re going to be amazing the next two days.”

“Only if you don’t threaten me again.”

“… shut up.”


	34. Trial and Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Show jumping day begins nervously, with coffee and kisses helping to take off the edge. The sky is clear and the sun makes Yuuri’s riding jacket sparkle. Victor loves it and takes multiple pictures of his fiancé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Did you miss me?  
> I have important news that I cannot share on here unfortunately. I've been informed of AO3's no promotion rules and, seeing that I really don't want to be kicked off and for all my work to be deleted, here is a link to the Tumblr post where I talk about it in detail: http://a-l-o-n-e-t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.tumblr.com/post/158532137352/emory7claire-is-creating-fan-fictions-patreon  
> The next chapter will go up tomorrow at 4pm EST because this one was supposed to go up yesterday. Enjoy, lovelies!

As to be expected, they both feel guilty the next morning. Victor hugs Yuuri from behind while he’s brushing his teeth, muttering apologies into his ear. He plays with the eventer’s hair, telling him it’s okay and apologizing as well. They’re hugging and cuddling and kissing throughout the morning enough to annoy the other riders. Yakov scolds them several times, but they ignore him. Makkachin is a little jealous.

They’re very professional during warm up, Victor staying close to the fence of the arena and giving Yuuri advice on riding his horse for the half hour.

“You’re too hard on his sides,” the eventer instructs. “Don’t press your heels into him; your calves should be all you need.”

“Right.” Yuuri sends the gelding forward into a steady canter with just his lower leg pressed to Makkachin’s sides.

“Good!” Victor calls as they canter by him.

Yuuri feels much better today, calmer and more confident. Makkachin reflects this, keeping his head high and movements smooth. The gelding rests in his stall as Yuuri puts on his safety equipment. The vet checks Makkachin and deems him safe to compete. Victor gives instructions as his fiancé as they’re walking out to the cross country course.

“Keep your leg on him, but not too hard and no heel.” He speaks a hundred miles a second. “He’s smart, he knows when to use his energy and when to let loose. All you should need to do is steer him and he’ll do the rest-”

Yuuri grabs his fiancé and kisses him, promptly shutting him up. “I got it, Vitya. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

Victor giggles, cheeks flushing pink. “I love it when you call me that.”

Yuuri sing-songs that name the rest of the walk, loving just how red his fiancé gets. “Vitya, Vitya, Vitya, Vitya, Vitya…”

Vitya holds onto him and pets his horse as they wait for Yuuri’s turn. When it’s time, the rider is given a leg up onto the liver chestnut gelding and his kisses his fiance for good luck. Just before he goes through the starting gate, Yakov gives him some quick, basic advice, ‘leg on, eyes forward, calm and confident.’

With only the slightest press of Yuuri’s calves, Makkachin gallops forward through the start gate and leaps the first jump to the cheers of the crowd standing by.

It’s tricky keeping a light press on the gelding’s sides while staying in two-point position. Yuuri ends up grabbing Makkachin’s mane in between jumps to keep his balance better. Just like Victor said, the horse knows just when to go faster and when to slow down and collect himself. He’s effortless over the jumps and is calmer than Eros usually is. They finish with multiple seconds to spare, Makkachin happily trotting into the arms of his owner at the end.

Once all the riders have gone, Phichit-kun is in first place and Yuuri manages to make fifth. His best friend comes running up to him to hug him, excitedly talking a hundred kilometers an hour. Not even Yuuri’s nerves for tomorrow could make him less happy and proud of his friend.

 

Show jumping day begins nervously, with coffee and kisses helping to take off the edge. The sky is clear and the sun makes Yuuri’s riding jacket sparkle. Victor loves it and takes multiple pictures of his fiancé.

They warm up, get Makkachin checked out by the vet, and stand by the arena to watch the other riders. The course is surprisingly simple, something Yuuri is very thankful for. It appears to be an apology for the tough jumps in the cross country course yesterday. There are only ten jumps and two combinations. However, one of those combinations is a triple.

Phichit is one of the first riders to go, trotting Terra out into the arena. The bell rings, the mare picks up a canter, and they head for the first jump.

Despite having three horses, the Thai rider has a special connection with all of them. They love him and he loves them. Each one is wildely different from the others, Terra being calm and collected while Incognita is hot headed and sassy. Because of this, Phichit has a fluid riding style, easily changing aspects of it to best suit each of his horses.

Now, he sits lightly in the saddle, letting Terra choose their steady speed, only needing the slightest movement of the rider’s hands and legs to steer the mare. Their first jump is flawless, the pair sailing over the poles with inches to spare and landing softly, turning to the next jump; an oxer.

There’s a care and strength to Terra’s movements, as if every single one of them is meticulously planned to give their course the best outcome. Yuuri can see her holding in the power in her limbs, waiting for the moment to release it and catapult her and her rider over the fences.

They finish with a perfect round, no jumps down and many seconds on the timer to spare.

Yuuri and Makkachin only knock down one rail and finish just inside the time limit. This bumps him up to finish in fourth behind Chris and Mila. Phichit takes the first place spot, giddily letting Victor crown him with a ring of green roses. The Thai rider hugs his best friend close and happily holds up his trophy for the photographers.

 

Back in St. Petersburg, Yuuri refuses to go back to apartment before seeing his mare. His leg twitches as they drive for the stable, Victor’s hand in his doing little to calm his nerves. His fiancé stops the car outside the main door to the barn before he goes to park, letting Yuuri out.

He bolts down the aisles of the stable, his body remembering the path to the stall that his mind couldn’t possibly think of right now. There’s only one thing he can think about.

Yuuri reaches the aisle of the stable where his horse resides and a soft, familiar nicker greets him when he does. A big head with black fur and a white exclamation mark down the front peeks out over the stall door and whinnies at him. Yuuri runs and envelopes that face in a hug, drawing Eros close as she nickers again.

“I missed you so much, girl,” Yuuri coos as he scratches her neck and the mare nuzzles into him, as if to say the same thing back to her rider.

***

These are some lovely pieces I commissioned hetteh-spegetteh for on Tumblr. I absolutely adore them, go give her all the love: http://hetteh-spegetteh.tumblr.com/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for those of you who saw, let's just pretend that while AO3 was doing maintenance, I didn't accidentally make seven copies of the same chapter. Let's just imagine it was all a dream. Okay? Good)


	35. Wild Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eros is happy to get back to work. She’s restless as Yuuri tacks her up, shuffling around in the stall and nipping at him. He walks her around the arena a little to calm her down before mounting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! It occurred to me that not all of you may have seen the message from the last chapter, so I'm gonna link to it here as well. Go check it out if you're interested: http://a-l-o-n-e-t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.tumblr.com/post/158532137352/emory7claire-is-creating-fan-fictions-patreon  
> Next chapter will go up 4pm EST before Wednesday. Enjoy, lovelies!

Yuuri thanks Yurio for taking care of Eros over and over until the teen runs away from the older rider every time they cross paths. The mare needs lots of time to rest and recover. Thankfully, they have two months before the next Classics Event in Germany.

Yuuri starts going to weekly therapy sessions and they help a lot. He gets antidepressants and Victor brings them to him in the morning with his coffee. The warming weather makes living in St. Petersburg more bearable and the horses have begun to perk up because of it. Eros spends her time grazing in the pastures all day or walking through the orchard.

Because of the weather, Yuuri finally only needs the jacket Victor gave him for his birthday to stay warm. He loves wearing it proudly, waving at the people who stare to show off the ring glistening on his finger. The words written on the back of the jacket make him proud, and Victor is happy to see him wear it every day.

Yuuri’s been spending Eros’s resting time watching his fiancé’s training sessions. He stands to the side of the arena and watches Victor’s form and the way Makkachin moves under him. Their jumps have reached the Olympic height, the pair now effortlessly leaping fences that Yuuri is scared to attempt. He tries to give the best constructive criticism he can, kind of feeling like his advice is worthless, but Victor always listens and tests out what Yuuri suggests and is thankful for it.

The eventer begins training at full speed, riding for hours every day with breaks in between. He begins to get too tired to cook at night, so they order takeout or have Yuuri’s failed attempts at making food. Victor drinks more and more coffee each morning and falls asleep much quicker at night. He sometimes skips shaving or showering to get extra sleep. Yuuri starts worrying after a week, but Victor is always his happy self so he tries not to let it get to him too much. Their weekend dates turn into quiet days in bed or on the couch, Victor sleeping while Yuuri reads. He enjoys this lazier side to his fiancé, but the underlying worry is still there.

After a couple weeks of rest, it’s time to begin Eros’s recuperation. The night before, Yuuri does his best to make dinner and afterwards, Victor collapses on the couch. There’s a pile of dishes in the sink and after an hour, the chef goes to confront his fiancé.

“Vitya.” Yuuri shakes his shoulder. A groan is the response he gets. “You gotta do the dishes. You know our rule.”

“Can you do them tonight?” Victor’s voice is muffled against the pillow. “We were on the cross country course all afternoon.”

Yuuri frowns, brushing the silvery hair away from his fiancé’s face. “Are you alright?”

Victor turns to look up at him with hooded eyes. “Yeah, I’m just tired.”

“You’ve been tired every day for two weeks.” Yuuri runs his fingers over Vitya’s pale skin. “You sure you’re okay?”

His fiancé turns to kiss the rider’s hand. “I’m sure, моя любовь.”

Yuuri sighs and does the dishes, carrying a sleeping Victor Nikiforov to bed afterwards.

 

Eros is happy to get back to work. She’s restless as Yuuri tacks her up, shuffling around in the stall and nipping at him. He walks her around the arena a little to calm her down before mounting.

They work through the flat, trotting in large and small circles, Yuuri using his legs to naturally bend Eros’s body and get her used to moving again. He lets her move and does his own work, sitting deep in the saddle and holding two-point position for extended periods, getting used to riding his beloved mare again. Her canter is just as smooth and excited as he remembers.

They go through the same jumping courses they always do, the fences remaining just under a meter tall. Eros jumps them almost too effortlessly, clearly wanting to go higher when Yuuri gets ready to dismount. He scratches under her mane and promises that they’ll go up to a meter tomorrow.

Once his mare is brushed and settled into her stall, Yuuri goes out to the outdoor arena to find his fiancé jumping yet another course. He sighs as he leans against the fence. Victor and Makkachin were doing this when he and Eros were warming up and they still haven’t stopped. Even the champion horse’s stamina wouldn’t allow them to go on for this long.

Yuuri would have said nothing if not for what he notices as the pair canters by him: the saddle blanket. It’s Victor’s plan blue blanket with red trim, the same one he used yesterday. The eventer  _ never  _ uses the same pads two days in a row.

Victor was lying last night… something  _ is  _ wrong.

Yuuri climbs up to the top railing of the arena fence, waving his fiancé over. When Makkachin is just under a meter away, he reaches out and grabs the gelding’s reins, pulling them over his head and out of Victor’s hands in an instant.

The eventer reels back in shock. “Yuuri-”

“Shut up, Vitya,” he says sharply, staring down his fiancé. “Tell me what is going on right now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been tired for weeks, you’re working too hard and too long, and you’re reusing dirty equipment,” Yuuri rambles. “You’re pretending that you’re okay when it’s obvious that you’re not. I can tell, I’ve been doing it my whole life.” He sighs, lips trembling. “Please,  _ please  _ tell me what’s going on.”

Victor stares at him, fingers curling into Makkachin’s mane. He lowers his eyes before speaking. “I’m sorry… I guess I feel like I  _ need _ to work hard. I disappeared from the eventing world for two years and now I have to make a good comeback or I’ll lose everything. No one is going to want to do sponsorships with a last place rider. I  _ have _ to get at least silver in Rio or risk losing my income... and now that I have you to worry about, I feel even more pressure and I’m just so scared, Yuuri…”

He reaches out and does his best to hug Victor, Makkachin moving closer so he can hold his fiancé closer. The eventer leans into Yuuri, clinging to his jacket. He runs his hands over the trembling shoulders of his lover.

“Do you want to see a therapist?” Yuuri asks. “It’s really helped me with my nerves.” After a moment, Victor nods against his shoulder. “Do you want me to make you an appointment for tomorrow?” Another nod.


	36. Part of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri cards his fingers through Vitya’s silver locks and a question comes to mind. “Victor?”  
> “Hmm?” He can feel the rumble of the hum against his chest.  
> “Why did you cut your hair? I’ve always wondered but never got to ask…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, you nasty sluts! Just kidding, I love you all you're all beautiful people.  
> So, the last two chapters didn't get a lot of hits, so I have a feeling a lot of you didn't see the important message I posted about. No worries, but this is the last chapter in which I will talk about it. Hopefully now more of ya'll will be able to see it. Go here to learn more: http://a-l-o-n-e-t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.tumblr.com/post/158532137352/emory7claire-is-creating-fan-fictions-patreon  
> Next chapter will be up Thrusday at 4pm EST. Enjoy, lovelies!

Luhmuhlen is the second to last event in the Classics Series. The horses will stay at the Luhmuhlen stable while their riders are in the close towns of Hamburg or Hannover, Germany. As far as the young riders go, they’re pretty evenly split as to where they’re staying. The Russian riders and Italian siblings are staying in Hamburg while the others are in Hannover. Well, they learn differently when they walk into the hotel and find a familiar dark-haired young man signing in at the front desk.

Yurio bursts into a dead sprint and catapults himself into the boy’s arm, yelling, “ _ Beka _ !”

Once settled into their hotel room, Yuuri and Victor debate whether they should stay in and order room service or if they should go out for dinner. They decide on staying at the hotel tonight and going out on their last night in Germany. They order their food and feed each other in bed while watching TV. Later, Yuuri reads while Victor naps on his chest.

It’s been a few weeks since the eventer’s first therapy session and things have been much better for the both of them. They made a plan for their income and figured out a system for when one of them has an episode. They cook or clean together, go walking or organize the riding equipment, sit and talk or leave each other alone. They breathe down each other’s necks about taking their medication and have gotten into a fight or two over something trivial, but it’s not different from their relationship before therapy. In fact, they have less trivial fights than before.

Yuuri’s thankful they’re both getting help and that Victor is less stressed and training at a safe pace. He’s still tired often, but it’s not weighing on him as much.

Yuuri cards his fingers through Vitya’s silver locks and a question comes to mind. “Victor?”

“Hmm?” He can feel the rumble of the hum against his chest.

“Why did you cut your hair? I’ve always wondered but never got to ask…”

Victor had much longer hair when he started as an eventer. At one Event, it flowed down his back and at the next, it was cut short. He’s quiet for a moment.

“I told you I was unhappy in eventing before I met you.”

“Yeah. ‘Like a shackle around my neck’, right?”

“Mhmm…” Another moment of silence. “What I left out is that I had bad anxiety and depression during that time.”

“Well… that’s a given.”

“But I didn’t get help.”

Yuuri sits up abruptly, upsetting the fiancé lying on his chest. “Why not?”

Victor sits up too. “I hated the idea that there was something wrong with me. Yakov and Lilia tried forcing me into going to therapy, but I never went to any of the sessions they scheduled. I was stressed and tired all the time and I let it show too much.” Victor sighs. “One night during a particularly bad episode, I took a pair of scissors and started cutting my hair off. I don’t know why, but it made me feel better. Lilia took me to a barber the next morning to have it styled properly. After that, I decided to grin and bear the pain. I never let anyone know how sad I was.” He looks to Yuuri and smiles. “And then I fell in love with you, and I’ve never been happier.”

The rider leans forward and kisses his fiancé, holding him close. “You better not keep secrets like that from me.”

Victor chuckles. “Never, моя любовь.”

 

Luhmuhlen goes wonderfully.

Eros is happy to be back with her competitors and competing against them, acting like an especially good girl in order to try and beat them after her hiatus. She does her best and they end up in second place at the end of the three days, falling behind Chris and his Arabian mare. Yuuri can hear the Swiss rider teasing Victor as his best friend crowns him with blue roses.

“Jealous, Nikiforov?” Chris smirks at him.

Victor looks to Yuuri and chuckles at his friend. “Not even a little.”


	37. Two Steps Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yakov! It’s been a while.”  
> Yuuri and the coach turn to the voice, finding a handsome young man smiling at them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my gorgeouses!! I am back with more chapters! Well, just one. I'll have the next one up on Sunday before I leave for school, around 2 or 3pm EST.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

After a year of rest and a year of training, it’s finally time for the champion eventing pair of Victor Nikiforov and Makkachin to go to their first Olympics, and they’re going to be late for their plane to Rio.

He may appear like a genius when it comes to riding, but most of the time he’s just a sweet idiot. Victor left all his packing to the night before they left, being too tired from training the days leading up to it. He stayed up until the early morning to pack all his things, and Yuuri wakes up before him for the first time ever. He brings his fiancé a cup of coffee to help rouse him, shaking his shoulder.

“Vitya,” Yuuri coos. His fiancé groans. “You have to get up or we’re gonna be late.”

“What time is it?” Victor’s voice is muffled by the pillow.

Yuuri checks the clock. “About eight. We have to leave for the airport in half an hour.”

Victor sits up abruptly, nearly knocking the coffee out of his fiancé’s hand. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?!”

“Calm down, I already laid out your travel clothes and the luggage is by the front door,” he hands Victor the cup of coffee and kisses his (big ass) forehead. “Come out for breakfast when you’re ready.”

They’re able to take their time while still being hasty as they eat and get ready for their flight. Yuuri is going with Victor and their coach, refusing to hear any arguments against it. They already made plans to meet Yakov and Makkachin at the airport, all the horse’s equipment being packed up and loaded onto the truck the day before. The engaged pair take their medication together, have a quick freak out before they find the keys, and lock up the apartment before getting into the car.

The flight is long and tiring, Yuuri and Victor sleeping on each other the majority of the time. As they get closer to Rio, the eventer begins looking out the window to try and spot the city. He finally does, rousing Yuuri to point out the massive cluster of buildings nestled between mountains and a gorgeous curving beach.

They have to settle Makkachin into the stable before they can go to the hotel, refusing to let the Olympic workers do it when they’re greeted at the airport. The more stables Yuuri enters, the more impressed he is with the lifestyles of professional horseback riders. The stable and other Olympic buildings are nestled in the valley just below Christ the Redeemer and his widespread embrace. The barn is outdoors, with just a metal overhang to protect the stalls. Despite this, the stalls are huge and Makkachin happily trots into his new living quarters. Yakov and Yuuri set the horse up with food and water while Victor organizes the equipment.

“Yakov! It’s been a while.”

Yuuri and the coach turn to the voice, finding a handsome young man smiling at them both.

Yakov sighs, reaching out to shake the boy’s hand. “Nice to see you again, JJ.”

Ohh, Yuuri thinks to himself. This is Jean-Jacques Leroy, the Canadian rider who nearly beat Victor in the FEI Classics a few years ago.

“Where’s Victor,” JJ asks, his eyes settling on Yuuri. “Or is this your new favorite student?”

Yakov chuckles, “Victor’s at the truck, but Yuuri here is definitely my favorite student.”

The rider blushes as he goes back to scooping Makkachin’s grain.

“Are you riding next week?” JJ asks him.

He looks up to find the boy standing a little too close for his liking. “No, I’m here to help Victor.”

“Surely if you’re Yakov’s favorite, you should be riding in the Games,” JJ grins, somewhat slyly but also polite… Yuuri can’t put his finger on what that expression is.

“Well, I’d be representing Japan not Russia, so it wouldn’t really work out,” Yuuri answers, a bit more nervous that JJ keeps getting closer to him.

“Did you move to Russia just to train with Yakov?” JJ laughs. “I wish I could do that.”

“Not entirely…” The Canadian rider is almost on top of Yuuri, pinning him against the stall door. “Could you please… um-”

“JJ!”

Yuuri’s heart melts with relief when the Canadian rider turns to Victor as the eventer comes walking back towards Makkachin’s stall. He does not look pleased, turning to Yuuri with a concerned eye. He mouths ‘thank you’ to his fiancé as Victor begins talking to JJ, distracting him from his prey.

The rest of their day is uneventful. That night, they do their usual ritual of lying in bed, Yuuri reading and Victor dozing on his chest.

“Vitya?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you gonna compete in the next Classics?”

Victor shrugs. “I don’t know. Are you?”

“Maybe.” Yuuri plays with a strand of his fiancé’s hair. “If we did, we’d be competitors.”

“Mhmm.”

A moment of silence. “You’re gonna kick my butt.”

Victor chuckles, looking up to his fiancé to kiss him. “It’d be a lot harder for me to beat you than you think.”

“Only if you  _ let _ me win.”

“моя любовь, I’d never  _ let _ you win anything. If I did, I’d have to do all the house chores.”

Yuuri laughs and kisses Victor until they fall asleep.

***

I have a little sneak peek for ya'll, something that will be the next project I work on once On Horseback is done.

http://a-l-o-n-e-t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.tumblr.com/post/158747299292/a-little-sneak-peek-for-yall-regarding-the-next


	38. Aria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri huffs as he goes back to brushing Makkachin with a fervor, meeting Victor’s concerned eyes and smiling with relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! New chapter for ya! There'll be another one up a 4pm EST some time this week, so come check frequently so you don't miss it.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

“Yuuri!”

He opens his eyes and turns to look at his fiancé’s excited and blurry face. Victor holds out a plate of piping hot food. “This place has the  _ best  _ continental breakfast!”

Once Yuuri’s laughing has subsided, they sit at the table in the hotel room and eat. Today is the first day of Eventing. It’s the second week of the Olympics and the riders have spent the last week getting used to the arenas and cross country course. Makkachin has been showing off to the other horses, being the only one of them who can do five jumping courses in a row without breaking a sweat.

JJ and his bay gelding King have been trying to match the champion pair’s skill and show off as well, but Yuuri’s fiancé does it effortlessly and without realizing it. That adorable occasional air-headedness is something he loves so much about Victor.

The dressage routine the Russian rider has been working on for a year stands out whenever he practices it around his competitors. The music Victor had composed is an elegant aria in Italian, reminiscent of an operatic love song. Makkachin’s usual bouncing movements have become smooth and graceful to match the piece and its many rises and falls. No matter how many times Yuuri asks, Victor won’t translate the piece for him.

“It’s meant to be felt,” he’s said a dozen times. “Not understood.”

Yuuri’s gotten multiple headaches from all the times he’s rolled his eyes at that explanation. He’s never seen the full routine with the music, so he’s excited for today.

They get down to the stable an hour after breakfast, Victor dressed in an elegant tailed riding jacket. The fabric is soft and a rich maroon with golden trim and buttons. He has a special gold embellished browband for Makkachin, who’s especially perky this morning. He knows what today is.

Yakov drills his oldest student while Yuuri brushes down the liver chestnut who happily nibbles at his arm. One glance left lets him know JJ is staring at him from down the barn. He’s done that every day for the past week, thankfully keeping his distance but that expression still makes Yuuri incredibly uncomfortable yet he still doesn’t know why.

“Hey.”

Yuuri jumps when he turns to see the Canadian rider standing just a meter from him.

“Hi, JJ,” he says to be polite despite his racing heart.

“Shouldn’t Victor be brushing his own horse?” JJ asks, trying to pet Makkachin but the gelding snaps at his fingers.

“He’s getting himself ready for the competition,” Yuuri explains, going back to brushing Makkachin. “Besides, I don’t mind doing it.”

“But if you’re Yakov’s favorite student, shouldn’t you be riding in the Olympics as well and not brushing Victor's horse?” JJ has crept forward a little.

Yuuri huffs. “He spent an entire year preparing for this and deserves a little help. Besides, I’m competing in the Classics this year.”

“Oh, I had no idea!” JJ’s grin widens. “I’m sure you’re far ahead of the other riders.”

“Nope, I’m second in the overall rankings, but thank you.”

“Is that Chris Giacometti keeping you from the prize you deserve?”

Yuuri takes a step back, turning to the Canadian rider with a confused look. “This is my first year in the Classics, I have  _ no  _ faith that I’ll win. I’m surprised I even got as high a place as I did. Chris has been working hard for  _ years _ to win the Classics, he deserves it after all this time! And why do you care?”

JJ shrugs. “I thought it’d be nice to get to know you better. Maybe when this competition is over, we can go get a drink. I found this great bar last week-”

“Wait.” Yuuri holds up a hand and steps back again. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Vitya staring. “Have you been  _ flirting  _ with me?”

JJ raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t know?”

“ _ No _ I didn’t know! And don’t  _ you know  _ that I’m engaged!?” Yuuri holds up his hand, letting the ring catch the light and glimmer in JJ’s face.

“To who?”

“ _ Him!” _

JJ turns and goes sheet white at Victor’s furious expression.

“Now go the hell away!”

JJ steps back and goes to his own stall, tucking his tail in and ducking his head down like a dog who’s been caught in the act. Yuuri huffs as he goes back to brushing Makkachin with a fervor, meeting Victor’s concerned eyes and smiling with relief.

The dressage portion begins after noon, when the heat has dispersed a little. Yuuri watches Victor and Makkachin warm up with a wistful excitement. The pair move fluidly as a single entity, a centaur as they trot and canter passages and perfectly pirouette. Victor constantly stops to ask Yuuri and Yakov for advice. The coach always has a lot to say, but the eventer’s fiancé can only tell him that they look perfect.

“Just try to keep your hands down a little more,” is the bit of advice Yuuri gives.

They wait by the arena for Victor’s turn, his fiancé’s hand on his thigh as they share passing glances. The eventer’s fists clench and unclench around the reins and his eyes have turned gray.

“Y’know, this isn’t gonna be my first time watching you compete,” Yuuri says.

Victor looks down at him with a soft smile. “I know. That was the anniversary celebration, right?”

Yuuri shakes his head. “You were competing in the Eastern Grand Prix in Beijing about seven years ago.”

“I had long hair then.”

“Mhmm.” Yuuri smiles. “I begged my mom to let me go and we went together. I used all of my allowance to help her pay for them.”

Victor giggles. “Did you enjoy it?”

Yuuri nods, sighing against Makkachin’s side. “It was worth every yen. You were amazing, just like I know you’re going to be now.”

Victor’s smile deepens and he leans down, Yuuri meeting him halfway in a kiss. The eventer’s name is called a second later and his fiancé watches the champion pair trot into the arena. He signals for the music, bows, and begins.

The aria is light, yet deep and rich. The strings and winds and brasses work together perfectly to bring a magical meaning to Makkachin’s every move. The slow passage beats perfectly with the subtle rhythm of the piece, the fluttering flutes making the horse’s hooves seem to float above the ground. Yet, the powerful voice that sings of something sad with a voice of longing gives a powerful effect to the rippling of the gelding’s muscles and the perfect posture of his rider.

The rises in the music call for extended canters and cantered tempi changes across the arena while the softer moments have the pair pirouetting and piaffing, all of it coming together in an elegant dance and culminating in the final rise of the man’s voice that has Makkachin powerfully cantering around the arena.

_ “Stammi vicino _

_ Non te ne andare _

_ Ho paura di perderti” _

It’s a piece of love and longing and desperation and Victor was right. It cannot be understood, it must be felt. It would seem the entire crowd felt it too, for as the eventer bows on the final note of the piece, the audience rises and applauds louder than ever.

At the end of the day, Victor is far above the other riders in first place, his penalty points coming to a 11.3, a nearly unheard of score for a first time Olympian.


	39. All Along the Watchtower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they wait at the starting gate for Victor’s turn, Yuuri goes over Makkachin’s equipment again and again to make sure everything is in place and secure. He readjusts the girth, checks the fit of the bridle, rewraps the polos on the gelding’s forelegs, checks the bellboots, makes sure the safety boots on his hind legs are-  
> “Yuuri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, here we are again, my lovelies. Next chapter is very important, so be here at 4pm EST on Thrusday to read. Enjoy my dears!  
> P.S. Little hint for you guys: the chapter titles are songs that relate to the content of that chapter. Just so you know ;)

Yuuri wakes up from a restless sleep with Victor still slumbering against his side. He leans back into the soft hotel room pillows with a sigh.

Yuuri’s been worried about this day since they arrived in Rio. Cross country is dangerous, there’s no doubt about it, but his fiancé is no idiot or amateur. He and Victor have been on the cross country course in St. Petersburg together a countless number of times and the eventer outshines him every time, but his anxiety is refusing to let him stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong today.

At every Classics event thus far, at least ten riders have been eliminated due to a fall or injury during the cross country day. Yuuri has seen dozens of horses refuse and trip over jumps, their riders being tossed to the ground or the water or into the jump itself. They’re not always hurt, but their looks of defeat at the end of the day are the worst things Yuuri’s ever seen. If Victor were to fall today, he’d lose everything he worked for for two years.

The body cuddled against him shifts, beginning to rouse itself. Yuuri closes his eyes and pretends to sleep as Victor wakes up. Sweet kisses are peppered against his skin before the bed shifts and he hears his fiancé padding around the room. He doesn’t open his eyes until he hears the hotel room door shut firmly, the sound signalling that Victor has gone to get coffee.

Yuuri sighs deeper into the pillows. Every logical part of him is telling him that Victor will be fine, but his anxiety is not letting his fears go away so easily. He lays there, trying to think of anything else until his fiancé returns to kiss his mind into blankness.

At the barn, Yuuri focuses on grooming Makkachin to distract him from his racing heart. Victor puts on his safety equipment nearby, Yakov running through the course with him. There’ll be forty-five obstacles that must be jumped in twelve minutes. The trickiest ones are near the water, which Makkachin has never had trouble with. He often clips hedges, but if he listens to and trusts Victor, they’ll be perfect.

Or they won’t.

Yuuri shakes the thought out of his head, realizing he’s been brushing the same spot on Makkachin’s flank and the gelding is looking at him with confusion. “Sorry, boy.” He moves to brush the dust off of the horse’s back. Victor comes up to help him with the tack and they get Makkachin ready for warm up.

All through and after warm up, Yuuri can’t stop fidgeting in one way or another. His foot taps into the grass, his tumb rubs at the hem of his shirt, he shifts on his feet, he just can’t stop moving. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t take his mind off of what could happen today. Not even Makkachin and Victor jumping the practice fences perfectly calms him down.

Equestrianism is dangerous. Riders risk their lives every time they climb into a saddle, no matter what discipline they ride in. Yuuri has broken bones, pulled muscles, and bruised virtually every inch of his body from his lifetime of riding. Losing someone to this sport… it would break him.

As they wait at the starting gate for Victor’s turn, Yuuri goes over Makkachin’s equipment again and again to make sure everything is in place and secure. He readjusts the girth, checks the fit of the bridle, rewraps the polos on the gelding’s forelegs, checks the bellboots, makes sure the safety boots on his hind legs are-

“Yuuri.”

“What?” He jumps as he turns to find Victor half a meter from him.

“Are you going to be checking Makkachin’s tack all day?” The eventer asks with a humorous glint in his turquoise eyes.

“I-I just wanted to make sure it was in place. I thought the boots were-”

“моя любовь.” Victor cuts him off, hands coming up to caress Yuuri’s face, thumbs rubbing at his temples. “I’m going to be fine.”

“… you don’t know that.”

“I trust my horse. Makkachin isn’t gonna let anything happen to me.” The gelding turns to nicker at them, as if to prove his rider’s point. “Once we cross the finish line, you’ll realize you had nothing to worry about. I know from experience.”

Yuuri focuses on those words and the movement of Victor’s thumbs on his cheeks, finally relaxing. He closes the distance between them to press soft kisses the his fiancé’s lips. He doesn’t care if the other riders see or if the many cameras catches it. He loves this man, shouldn’t he be allowed to express that anywhere he goes?

They cling to each other for a few minutes before Yakov separates them and Victor has to mount up. He waves to his fiancé as Makkachin walks to the starting gate, calling out as he does so, “я люблю тебя!”

Yuuri glances to the side and sees JJ staring at him. He scowls at the Canadian rider who looks away quickly. Yuuri can’t wait to leave Rio so he never has to see that man again.

He watches as Victor and Makkachin approach the starting gate, the gelding prancing on his hooves in anticipation. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it instant, the horse has jumped to a gallop. He sprints to the first jump and leaps it effortlessly, he and his rider disappearing around the bend that leads to the next fence.

A screen is set up next to the first jump on the other side of the course barrier. The cameras that are set up beside the jumps follow the riders as they pass by. Right now, the screen shows Victor and Makkachin as they gallop a stretch of the course with no jumps. Just as they’re slowing for the next few fences, it cuts away to another rider.

Yuuri waits with baited breath for the screen to show his fiancé again, getting frustrated every time it shows anyone else. Victor and Makkachin are as flawless as they always are, being careful and trusting in each other as they fly over jumps with hardly any effort. It’s over a hedge jump that Yuuri nearly has a heart attack.

Makkachin leaps it, but his hind legs aren’t high enough to clear the brush. In an attempt to save himself and his rider, the gelding bucks mid-jump. In doing so, he imbalances Victor who grabs hold of his horse’s mane to stay on.

“Your heels!” Yuuri mutters into the back of his fist. “Put your heels down!”

Victor pulls himself back up and shoves his heels down in the stirrups, spurring Makkachin forward just as the horse begins to slow. They finish the course with no other problems, only going two seconds over time. The finish line is right beside the start gate, and Yuuri is waiting there as the liver chestnut gallops over it and comes to a halt.

Yakov takes hold of Makkachin’s reins as the vet approaches the gelding. Yuuri takes Victor into his arms as the eventer dismounts. He’s sweaty and heaving and limply holds onto his fiancé as Yuuri draws him close.

“You were right,” he says in his exhausted fiancé’s ear. “I should have trusted you. You were wonderful, you both were wonderful. I can’t wait to see you win gold tomorrow.”


	40. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor trots his gelding into the arena, urging him into a canter as the bell rings. They circle, get collected, and head for the first vertical. Yuuri watches with a pounding heart and teeth digging into his fist. He may have first place, but enough knocked rails and refusals could still disqualify the pair. A year of rest and a year of training have culminated into these eighty seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm posting this early because I finished it early! The next chapter should go up by Monday at 4pm EST, it all depends on when I get it perfect. Don't want to slack off during the climax!  
> Enjoy, my lovelies! And, good luck.

There’s a hand in his hair as the smell of strong coffee wakes him up. Yuuri peeks open an eye and smiles at the blurry face just inches in front of his.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” It takes Victor a few tries to get Yuuri’s glasses on him. “Breakfast is here. Come on.”

“Can we eat in bed?” He asks, running his fingers through his fiancé’s silvery hair.

Victor makes a face but stands up to go get the plates of hot food from the small hotel table. He climbs into bed beside Yuuri, handing him a plate which is thanked with a kiss.

“Did you notice that our kiss from yesterday was all over the internet?”

Yuuri chokes on his mouthful of eggs. “Were people freaking out about it?”

“I think a lot of comments read, ‘why aren’t you married yet?!’ Which I have to agree with.”

Yuuri laughs and snuggles his face into the crook of Victor’s neck, pressing a feather-light kiss to his collarbone.

“When _are_ we gonna get married?”

Yuuri rests his temple against Victor’s shoulder, looking up at his fiancé who looks back.

“The final Classics event is in three weeks,” the eventer continues. “Do you think we could…?”

“Three weeks to plan a wedding isn’t the greatest idea,” Yuuri points out. “How long does it usually take?”

“Some people spend years planning their wedding.”

Yuuri bolts upright. “ _Years?!_ You may be rich, but we are not having _that_ expensive of a wedding.”

Victor chuckles. “Alright, моя любовь. What do you want to do for our wedding?”

Yuuri turns pink. “Well, I hadn’t given it much thought. Getting married on the beach down by the cove would be nice, and I’d like all our friends and family to be there.”

They talk weddings and best men and walking down the aisle until it’s time to get down to the barn for show jumping.

They walk the course first, Yuuri helping Victor check the stride counts while Yakov gives advice on how to approach each one. The fences are all taller than anything Yuuri would attempt at the moment and the final triple is concerningly tight, but it’s the spreads that have his eyes widening the most. They’re like step jumps, but the jumps are made of poles and are all pressed together to form a literal diagonal that’s two meters wide and terrifying to look at. Victor, of course, is unfazed by it. Yuuri’s seen him and Makkachin jump a dozen of them before and it always makes his stomach lurch.

They head back to the barn to tack up the liver chestnut gelding, the fiancés teaming up so it goes twice as fast: Yuuri curries while Victor brushes, the eventer swiping dust in the other rider’s face when he’s not paying attention. Yuuri gets back at him when he’s picking out one of Makkachin’s hooves and successfully tosses a clump of dirt onto Victor’s pristine riding shirt.

Warm up is basic, Victor riding with extra confidence, giving Makkachin an extra spring in his step. The vet deems the gelding fit to compete and then they wait by the arena for the eventer’s turn.

JJ and King are one of the first pairs to go, the bay picking up a steady canter as the bell rings. Yuuri watches them with partial interest, unable to stop himself from noting how well they work together. King is soft and compliant under JJ’s firm hand, but the rider is not afraid of listening to his horse. They work together and only knock one pole, guaranteeing themselves a spot on the podium. Where that place will be depends on the other top spot riders.

Victor mounts Makkachin when his name is called. Yuuri grabs his hand before he can walk off, kissing his ring through the glove. “ _Davai._ ” They smile at each other.

Victor trots his gelding into the arena, urging him into a canter as the bell rings. They circle, get collected, and head for the first vertical. Yuuri watches with a pounding heart and teeth digging into his fist. He may have first place, but enough knocked rails and refusals could still disqualify the pair. A year of rest and a year of training have culminated into these eighty seconds. The first jump is a success and the clock officially begins.

The verticals and oxars are no problem for the championship pair, but Yuuri is more concerned about the spreads and lines. The third jump is a water spread, a small fence set before a two meter water obstacle that the horse and rider must clear. Victor looks to the jump as Makkachin turns, pressing his leg close and keeping a feel for the horse’s mouth. One, two, three they leap it with no problem, Makkachin tossing his head slightly as they continue forward.

Two vertical jumps later is the step spread. Yuuri’s heart roars in his ears as he counts the liver chestnut’s strides in the approach to the fence. Victor’s form is perfect and confident, helping Makkachin clear it easily. They seem to pause over the center of the jump, Yuuri’s stomach somersaulting before the gelding’s hooves hit the ground on the other side. The rest of the verticals are a breeze and then they approach the second to last jump, a wide-set oxar, and one, two, three they leap it with ease. They approach the final triple line with time to spare. Each fence is just two strides apart each, and Makkachin has no problem over the first one. Two canter beats later, Yuuri’s worst fears come true.

The gelding’s front legs go right through the top rail of the center jump, causing him to trip. He lands on the other side and fumbles on his hooves, unbalancing Victor. The eventer tries to stop his horse, but Makkachin is not one to refuse jumps. He leaps the last fence, going through the top two rails and falling sideways towards the arena dirt. Victor’s unbalanced seat has caused him to fall to the gelding’s side and the eventer’s helmeted head goes right into a pole. He gets trapped under his horse as they both hit the dirt, Yuuri’s heart stopping as his beloved disappears under the massive animal.

Makkachin gets up right away and trots off, seemingly unfazed. Victor doesn’t move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it would be important ;)


	41. If I Die Young...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re getting married.”  
> “Really?!”  
> “Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, do I have a doozie for you guys today! It's a bit lengthy, so give yourself a good time span to sit down and digest all of it. I'm gonna give myself a bit of time because I have a bit of work to catch up on, so the next chapter should go up on Thursday, March 6th at 4pm EST.  
> Davai and enjoy, my lovelies!  
> P.S. Does me telling you guys the date and time when the fic will be updated help you stay on top of reading it better? Just curious. Please answer if you have the time and if you think of something that'll work better, please suggest it!

Yuuri’s heartbeat pounds through his head. It’s the only thing he can hear as he breaks free from Yakov’s hold and runs out onto the course. Makkachin has returned to his rider’s side and nuzzles at his face. Victor doesn’t move.

The gelding shies away as Yuuri collapses at his fiancé’s side. He rolls him over onto his back and removes his helmet with trembling hands. He runs his fingers through the eventer’s sweaty silver hair.

“Vitya?” His eyes are half open and distant, dirt covering his once crisp riding jacket. “Vitya?!”

“Yuuri…” Victor’s voice is pained, hand reaching towards him slowly.

He takes that hand and holds it close. “I’m here… I’m right here, you’re okay.”

Yuuri is suddenly shoved aside as the medical team descends on the fallen rider. One medic turns to him with a scowl and tries to separate his hand from Victor’s. “Sir, you need to go back to the stands.”

Yuuri matches that look with added fury. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my fiancé.”

“моя любовь…” comes Victor’s quiet plea as he gently tugs on Yuuri’s hand. He turns back to the eventer, speaking softly to him as the medics continue their work. He’s left alone from then on.

“I feel some broken ribs,” one medic says to the others. “They could be broken in two places.”

“Concussion?”

“Looks like he’s got a mild one.” The medic to his left looks to Yuuri. “You were right to take his helmet off immediately.”

An ambulance arrives minutes later. The medics help the hospital workers get Victor onto a mobile gurney, having to make adjustments because he won’t let go of Yuuri’s hand. He climbs into the ambulance alongside them, sitting close to his fiancé’s side.

“Is Makkachin okay?” Victor asks as the ambulance doors close.

Yuuri nods. “I saw Yakov taking him back to the stable. He looked fine, just a little spooked.”

A breathing mask is put over Victor’s face before he can respond. A nurse helps him breathe while another opens his shirt. Yuuri has to look away as the bruising on his fiancé’s left side is revealed. He hangs his head as he listens to the workers speak back and forth.

“This doesn’t look good. It could be flail chest.”

“Call Hope and let her know we’ve got someone coming in for an emergency CT scan.”

“He’ll be lucky if none of his organs have ruptured. That was quite a fall.”

Tears slip from Yuuri’s eyes and drip from his nose. Victor’s hand squeezes his, as if he’s the one who crashed into a jump and broke his bones.

They arrive at the hospital and Victor is put onto a different gurney. He keeps hold of Yuuri’s hand as he’s carted through the halls, forcing his fiancé to keep up with the nurses. They’re trying to separate the two, but the eventer’s hold is firm.

“… don’t… go…” Victor’s voice is hardly audible through the breathing mask, but the plea in his eyes is all too visible.

Yuuri’s throat closes up, fresh tears threatening to spill over. Every instinct tries refusing to let him leave his lover’s side. Despite them, he kiss his fiancé’s palm and untangles their fingers. He stops at the end of a hallway, watching Victor being taken away, his hand still stretched out to Yuuri.

A nurse shows him to the waiting room, promising to bring him information about Victor’s condition the moment it becomes available. He sits in one of the plush chairs, mind racing.

This is wrong. This shouldn’t have happened. Victor should be getting rewarded the gold medal he worked so hard for. He shouldn’t be in a hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. Two years… two years of work to lose it all in seconds… how could this have happened…?

Yuuri curls in on himself and cries, lost and alone.

 

Yakov joins him after a while, letting him know that Makkachin is fine. Knocking into those rails didn’t hurt him. They sit quietly side-by-side, Yuuri spending the time on his phone. It’s been buzzing since he climbed into the ambulance and he has to turn off the notifications after a minute. A quick glance at Instagram confirms his suspicions that fans of Victor and him have been posting pictures and videos of the accident and sending their well wishes. He’s grateful when the notifications stop and he gets a chance to check the texts from his friends and family.

Yuuri calls his mom when he sees he’s missed half a dozen from her. She starts talking the moment she picks up, telling her son how awful she feels and how scared she was while watching the aftermath. His mom asks how Vicchan is and Yuuri does his best to fill her in from what he can remember the nurses saying. He promises to let her know about Victor’s condition the second he’s updated on it.

The other young Classic competitors have been texting him non-stop. Phichit-kun’s texts chronicle a freak out over the course of an hour, most of the messages in all caps and desperate pleas for Yuuri to respond to him. He does, answering the questions his best friend sends while he looks through the other riders’ texts. They’re mostly wishes for Victor’s fast recovery, with a little more detail in Mila and Georgi’s case. The one that stands out to him is Chris’s. Victor’s best friend sent a single, simple text.

_How is he?_

Yuuri answers in similar fashion, _I don’t know yet. Haven’t heard anything since we arrived. I’ll let you know when I know more._

 _Please do,_ comes the response.

An hour after he first sat down, the nurse returns and approaches Yuuri and Yakov.

The rider stands up to meet him. “How is he?”

“Not good,” the nurse says sadly. “The CT scan shows that he has flail chest. Three of his ribs are broken in two places each, floating freely in his chest. They didn’t pierce any organs, but there will be mucus build up in his lungs and there’s a possibility he could develop a pneumonia.”

Yuuri swallows, trying to process all that information. “So… what happens now? How will he get better?”

“He’ll have to be put on life support,” the nurse begins. “Surgery to reconnect the bones will aid in breathing and draining fluid. It’ll lower the chance he’ll develop pneumonia and will speed up the healing process.”

Yuuri relaxes a little. “It’ll help him?”

“In every way, yes.”

“Okay.”

“I need your permission to go ahead with the procedure.”

“Of course.” Yuuri signs the form the nurse holds out to him. “When can I see him?”

“When the surgery is over and he’s stable.” The nurse smiles with sympathy. “I’ll let you know the second visitation is allowed.”

Yuuri goes back to his seat when he leaves, slumping down into the cushions. The nurse’s words ring through his head, ‘ribs… broken in two places… pneumonia… surgery… surgery…'

“You know.” Yakov’s sudden words pull him back to reality. “When you asked me for permission to propose to Vitya, I had my doubts. They were small doubts, but they were there.” He turns to Yuuri and smiles softly. “I don’t have any doubts now.”

Yuuri matches that smile and leans over to hug his coach. “ _Spasibo._ ”

They wait to get updated on Victor’s condition, Yuuri informing his friends about the surgery. His mom’s response sticks in his mind, ‘No one should have to see their loved one go through something like this.’

“Yuuri.”

His head whips around to that familiar voice. “JJ.” His face goes cold as ice as he stands to meet the other rider. “What are you doing here?”

He’s still in his riding habit sans-jacket, boots muddy and sleeves covered in fur. “I came to check on Victor. We’ve been competitors for years, I’d feel guilty if I didn’t come.”

“You won’t be able to see him.” Yuuri crosses his arms. “He’s in surgery right now.”

JJ looks down. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry, Yuuri.”

“Thank you, but it’s best if you go now.”

“Yuuri-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Leroy.” He begins to turn away.

A hand on his arm stops him. “I’ll go, but I want to apologize first.” Yuuri shrugs off his hand, but stays where he is to listen to the Olympian. “I should have backed off when I saw you were uncomfortable. I made a mistake in thinking you were playing hard-to-get and I made a fool of myself. I’m sorry.”

Yuuri looks JJ up and down and forces himself to relax. “Thank you.”

He nods. “I hope Victor gets better soon.” With that, the Canadian rider turns and walks off.

It’s some time in the middle of the night, when Yuuri has failed to fall asleep in the small waiting room chair, that the nurse finally returns and approaches him and Yakov. The rider is on his feet in an instant, his exhaustion completely forgotten.

“Can I see him now?”

The nurse nods. “The surgery was a success and he’s stable. Follow me.”

“Yakov,” Yuuri turns to the coach. “We can see him.”

He stands immediately and follows the rider and nurse down the hall.

He talks as they walk. “The surgery was longer than expected, but there were no complications. They successfully reattached his ribs and got him on life support.” He chuckles. “He’s still loopy from the anesthesia.”

The nurse shows them to Victor’s room, standing back as they rush inside. Yuuri’s fiancé is shirtless under the hospital sheets, the left side of his chest covered in fresh bandages. Nasal cannula tubes meet under his nose, and one much larger one sticks out of the base of his sternum. Victor is much paler than usual and sweaty.

The eventer turns as they walk into the room, looking to his fiancé and frowning. He cocks his head before his eyes open wide.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

It’s Yuuri’s turn to frown. “What?”

Victor’s words slur together and his voice is genuinely pained. “I left you my number… you never called me.”

Yuuri snorts, the nerves that had been building up in his chest fading away. “I forgot.” He goes to sit next to his fiancé. “I was really drunk. I didn’t remember a thing the next day.”

“Really?” Victor sits back into the pillows. “That sucks. We had a great time.”

“I know, my best friend told me about it.”

“You’re a great dancer,” Victor giggles. “And you have a great ass.”

It’s taking all of Yuuri’s composure not to burst into hysterics. “So I’ve been told.”

“You were dancing so well… so sexy…” He grins widely. “Much better than Chris.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you go out with me?” Victor takes his hand, eyes sweet and sincere. “Wait… you never would. I’m not good enough for you.”

“Victor, I _am_ going out with you.”

“ _What?!_ ” Victor’s eyes are wide as dinner plates.

“Yeah.” Yuuri holds out his ring finger. “We’re getting married.”

**“** **_Really?!”_ **

“Yes!”

“Wow…” Victor stares at him, completely starstruck. “I’m so lucky.”

“I am too.”

“You’re so beautiful.”

“You are too.”

Victor smiles. “You’re such a good dancer.”

“So you said.”

Victor frowns. “Did I? Will you dance with me again?”

“Of course. Not right now,” he adds when his fiancé actually starts getting up. “You have to stay in bed and get better.”

“How long have we been dating?”

Yuuri giggles. “About two years.”

“Did I buy you that?” Victor points to the ring on his finger.

“No, I did.” Yuuri takes his hand and holds it up so he can see the ring on his own finger. “I got you one too. It’s what I proposed with.”

“Wow…” Victor holds the ring up to his eye, staring intensely at it. “You must really love me. When did we get engaged?”

“Almost a year ago.”

“Did I propose?”

“No, I did. We were in Paris.”

“ _You proposed to me in_ **_Paris_** _?!_ ”

“Yeah.”

Victor sighs dreamily. “How could I be so lucky?”

“That’s my question to ask, Vitya.”

“But you’re so pretty! Are you a model? Did we meet again at a photoshoot?”

“No, you’ll remember eventually.”

“Wait… have I _kissed you?!_ ”

Yuuri can’t hold back his laughter any more. “Yes, we kiss a lot.”

“Wow… we’re _engaged_.”

“Yeah.”

“… most beautiful man I’ve ever seen…”

Yuuri looks up and meets Yakov’s eyes, finding his coach bright red and holding in his own laughter. The nurse comes in a minute later, followed by a woman in scrubs, presumably a doctor.

“How are you feeling, Victor?” The doctor asks, her voice rich as coffee with its thick accent. “Any odd pains? Can you breathe alright?”

“Are you here to marry us?” He asks her.

She smiles. “Unfortunately not.” The doctor turns to Yuuri. “You must be the fiancé. He wouldn’t stop asking for you when he was conscious.”

“When can Victor come home?” Yuuri blurts without thinking.

“We _live_ together?”

“Yes.”

“What we’re worried about right now is fluid build up in his chest and preventing pneumonia,” the doctor begins. “The surgery will help with draining the fluid and as long as his breathing is normal, pneumonia won’t develop. He’ll be in charge of his morphine doses so he can do so. Once there is no more fluid build up and he can breathe on his own, he can be discharged and continue healing at home.”

“How long will that take?”

“I would guess three weeks. No more than four.”

Yuuri squeezes Victor’s hand. Burghley.

“Thank you, doctor.” Yakov says.

She nods and heads out of the room. The nurse begins to follow her, pausing at the door. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Can I sleep in the bed with him?” Yuuri asks before he can leave.

He smiles and nods. “Just be careful of the tubes.”

“You wanna sleep together?”

Yuuri turns to his fiancé and smiles. “It’s hard for me to sleep without you.”

“Wow… I never thought you’d ever love me back.” Victor’s hand settles on Yuuri’s cheek. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

He decides to stay up with his loopy fiancé despite his exhaustion. Yakov eventually falls asleep in his chair as the lovers talk on and on. Yuuri records parts of their conversation to show Victor later.

“For our wedding, I wanna wear a _big,_ sparkly pink dress!” Victor throws his arms out on ‘big’. “And you’ll have to match; pink suit or pink dress, both work.”

“Mhmm.” Yuuri smiles softly at the eventer, listening to his boisterous wedding plans.

“And I want the biggest diamond for my wedding wing- wedding ring.”

“With a gold band to match the engagement one?”

“Yeah!” He thinks for a moment. “So, you’re an eventer.”

“Yes,” Yuuri answers. “You came to my family’s farm to rest Makkachin before the Olympics.”

“Right!” Victor’s smile is the brightest thing in the room. “I was so happy when I saw you again. I had been thinking about you every day for months.” He giggles. “Now you’re mine and I didn’t even have to try!”

Yuuri’s cheeks are burning from smiling so much. “Once we were together, you had to try very hard.”

“I worked for you-” Victor pokes him in the chest. “-so I could keep you.”

“You did.” Yuuri holds his fiancé’s hand close. “We both did.”

“Because I love you.”

Yuuri kisses his fiancé’s palm. “I love you too, моя любовь.”

Victor goes silent. “Say that again.”

Yuuri presses his lips to the eventer’s knuckles. “моя любовь.”

“It sounds so beautiful when you say it.”

Yuuri giggles as he keeps pressing kisses to Victor’s hand. The eventer yawns. “Are you tired?” He nods. “Mind if I sleep with you?” He shakes his head.

Yuuri climbs onto the right side of the bed, lying on his side against Victor to give his fiancé most of the space. He buries his face in into Victor’s neck, wrapping his arm around his waist and cuddling close. His fiancé snuggles back against him, and they fall asleep together.

 

For the third time, Yuuri wakes up before his fiancé, letting the _beep, beep, beep_ of Victor’s heartbeat wake him up. He sits up as best as he can while still lying beside his fiancé. He runs his fingers through that silvery hair and presses kisses to his favorite forehead until the man beside him begins to stir.

“‘Morning, Vitya,” Yuuri coos as the eventer’s eyes blink open.

Victor turns to him. “… Yuuri?” His turquoise eyes light up when he sees him. “Yuuri!”

There’re hands tugging his hair and then a kiss is forced onto his lips, the mouth of his lover messy and chapped.

Victor’s jaw trembles as he holds Yuuri close. “It hurt…”

“I know.”

“I was alone… I couldn’t find you…”

“I’m sorry.” Yuuri presses their foreheads together. “They needed to operate on you, I had to let go.” He rubs his thumbs back and forth over Victor’s cheeks, trying to calm him with the motion.

“Operate…” Victor looks down at his chest, turning away quickly once he does. “Oh god… the triple.”

“Yeah.”

“Makka- is Makkachin okay?!”

Yuuri nods. “He’s safe. Yakov went to go check on him.”

Victor relaxes back against the hospital pillows, closing his eyes. “Two years… I really fucked up.”

Yuuri sighs, resting his head beside his fiancé’s. “The doctor said you can be discharged in three weeks.”

Victor’s eyes snap to his. “Burghley.” Yuuri nods. “Wait… when’s your flight to Russia?”

“Don’t worry; I’m not taking it.”

“What?!” Victor groans as he sits up. “You have to go.”

“No.” Yuuri helps him lie back down. “I’m not leaving you. We don’t need to discuss this any more.”

“Yuuri, this is your first Classics Series.” Victor begins caressing his fiancé’s cheek. “You’re second in the rankings, you could win. If you did, you’d be the first person to win the Event in their first year competing. You’d make history! I don’t want to be the one who makes you miss that opportunity.”

“I don’t care about a title,” Yuuri says firmly. “I’m not going anywhere unless you’re coming with me.”

“Please, I’ll feel so guilty if my stupid actions made you miss this.”

“And I’d feel guilty if I leave you here to chase my selfish dreams.”

“It’s not selfish; this is your career. I’ve had to decline dates for competitions before-”

“ _This isn’t a date_! Your organs could have ruptured and you may have died in that ambulance and I never would have forgiven myself! I’m not leaving and that’s _final_!”

Yuuri collapses into Victor’s chest, letting the built up fear from last night go as he cries against his fiancé’s skin. Vitya leans into him and cards his fingers through his hair. The motion helps calm his sobs to sniffles.

“I’m sorry,” Victor murmurs.

“I was so scared…” Yuuri buries himself deeper against his lover. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Victor is quiet, clinging close to his fiancé. There’s no point for Yuuri to go to Burghley without him; he’d never win without the support of the man he loves.

Victor falls asleep a little while later, the dozing man clinging to Yuuri’s waist as he sits beside him in bed. Yakov comes back from the stable bearing coffee and snacks.

“I called the airport,” the coach begins as he sits down. “I had them cancel two of the seats and move the third to the day after tomorrow.”

“You can call and cancel that one too,” Yuuri says. “I’m not leaving him.”

“You won’t be ready for Burghley if you don’t go.”

“I know.”

“… ahhh,” Yakov hums, sipping his coffee. “In that case, I’ll have to revoke my blessing for your marriage to Vitya.”

“What?!” Yuuri whips around to look at the old man who continues to casually drink as if he didn’t just crush one of the rider’s dreams.

“I knew Vitya was in love with you when he willingly let you go to Japan when you needed to,” Yakov explains. “He solidified it again when he immediately organized everything for Badminton and Eros’s recovery. He’d do anything for you and risk hurting his own selfish feelings no matter what. If you had to go to the moon for a decade, he’d make sure you get there.”

“But he wants me to go to Burghley- wants me to go back to Russia to prepare.”

“Exactly. He’s putting what you need over what he really wants.” Yakov smiles sadly. “That boy never wants to be apart from you, Yuuri, of course he wants you to stay. But he knows that you’ve worked too hard and done too much to let that want get in the way of what you need to do.”

“I don’t need to win anything, there’ll be other Classic Series I can compete in.”

Yakov makes a face. “True, but this is your first one and you’ve done better than even I expected. Vitya’s wanted you to win ever since he first saw you ride.” The coach chuckles. “The night after he saw you jump, he called me and wouldn’t stop going on about how amazing you’d be as an eventer. He was convinced that you’d have no problem winning the Classics. He believed in you before he had seen your full potential.” Yakov leans forward in his seat. “That night, Vitya told me that he was going to buy you a new horse and help you achieve your dreams. He’d never forgive himself if this is how he breaks that promise.”

Yuuri looks down at the peaceful, sleeping face of his beloved and begins to cry. “I just… want to do something for him.”

“You can stay or you can go. It’s your choice.”

 

“Victor?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m gonna go back to Russia to prepare for Burghley.”

Victor looks up at him with wide eyes. “… really?”

“Yeah.” Yuuri smiles. “I’m gonna win for you.”


	42. Holding On To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri urges Eros into a canter again, but her movements are tense and quick under his seat. It takes too long for him to realize that he’s too stiff and Eros refuses the jump again. He sends her back into a canter before the other riders can say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up, babes? I missed ya'll! I have a fun little angsty-fluff chapter for you today! Well, it's not the most fun chapter, but it should be for my tiny Satan (love you, saffy!). Next chapter should go up on Sunday or Monday at 4pm EST.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

The annoying blare of an alarm jolts Yuuri awake, and he scrambles to grab his phone and turn it off. He rubs his hands over his face, trying to make sense of his blurry surroundings. He’s in the bed he and Victor share in their apartment, but his fiancé isn’t there with a tall cup of coffee for him. Then, he remembers.

Yuuri falls back into the pillows with a groan before rolling out of bed and forcing himself into the kitchen. He struggles with the coffee maker before giving up, putting clothes on to go to the café down the street. He sits at a window table with his drink and half a dozen piroshky, staring out at the city beyond the glass as he eats.

Halfway across the world, Yuuri’s soon-to-be husband is stuck in a hospital bed on life support… and he left him there. He got to spend another day with Victor in the hospital before he had to do back to their hotel room to pack and get ready for the flight. Yakov stayed behind with his student and Lilia will stand in for him as coach at the final Event.

His fiancé had held his hand and kissed him, telling him over and over, “Please don’t feel bad about leaving.”

Yuuri had forced a smile. “I’ll try.”

No matter how many times he thinks back to that moment, he can’t shake the guilt that churns in his stomach. This may be his job, but would any other job force him to be separated from his fiancé under these circumstances?

When Yuuri gets to the barn, Eros immediately presses her face to his chest. He wraps his arms around her, scratching under her mane. “I missed you too, girl.”

A soft nicker comes from the stall next door. Yuuri turns to find Makkachin looking at them through the bars of the window. He smiles at the gelding and scratches his muzzle. “I know, boy. I miss him too.”

Yuuri takes the champion horse walking through the orchard before training with Eros. The end of August day is cool, a sweet breeze rustling the leaves on their branches. The apples have yet to ripen, still green, small, and tough. Makkachin walks close to Yuuri’s side, keeping the rider’s slow pace. He kicks at the fallen apple buds, mind wandering once more.

It’s early morning in Rio, so he won’t hear from Yakov for a few more hours. When he left, Victor was fine and healing normally. Yet, as he knows now more than ever, things can change drastically within a fraction of a second. Yuuri hasn’t been able to stop fidgeting since he got back to Russia. Falling asleep last night had been nearly impossible, even with Victor’s pillow to snuggle against. He’s worried and nervous and tired and he hates it.

Something nudges his shoulder and Yuuri turns to find Makka look at him with concern in his big brown eyes. He sighs and scratches the horse’s neck as he leans into the rider’s side. “Thanks, boy. I’ll be okay.”

Yuuri picks some apples, giving a few to Makkachin and stuffing the rest in his pockets for Eros. He walks the gelding back to the barn and gets stopped in the aisle by Mila.

“Lilia’s busy today, so we don’t have a training session,” she explains. “Me and Georgi are gonna go out on the cross country course if you wanna come.”

“Sure.” Yuuri forces a smile.

“Awesome! We’re meeting at the back door in half an hour. See you there!” She jogs off towards Sala’s stall, leaving Yuuri alone.

Once Makkachin is settled in his stall, he begins tacking up Eros. She constantly turns to look and nudge at him while he brushes her down. She nibbles at his hair and clothes, and Yuuri eventually gives the mare the apples to distract her.

He’s used to horses being worried about him. It happened a lot with Niki and Vicchan whenever he was sad or frustrated. Lots of people think horses are scary and dangerous, which they are, but they’re really just giant, rideable dogs. They can sense when you’re sad or angry and need attention. They want to make sure you’re okay and do whatever they can to cheer you up. That aspect of the giant creatures is the thing Yuuri adores the most about them. They can give you the feeling of flight or the most amazing adrenaline rush, but nothing will ever be better than the comfort and love they give so willingly to those who need it.

He gives in eventually, hugging Eros’s big head close as she nuzzles into him. “Thanks, girl.” She blows a soft breath in his face, and he blows back.

The pair meet Georgi and Mila, and they ride out to the cross country course together. The Russian rider trots Sala beside Eros, looking to Yuuri with a soft smile. “Have you heard from Yakov or Victor?”

He sighs as he forces a similar grin. “Not yet, but it’s still pretty early in Rio. I don’t want to disturb them before they’d had the chance to wake up properly.”

Mila nods, her expression dropping slightly. “Right.”

They get to the course and canter the length of it a few times, letting their horses get warmed up before they start jumping. Yakov always has them go over the lower logs and hedges before doing harder and higher jumps. They take turns going over three fences set in a combination, each about seven strides from the next. The other two watch their riding mate jump and give feedback when they finish.

Mila goes first. Sala is an easy going mare, so her rider doesn’t need much to get her going or over the jumps. She keeps her legs steady where they’re pressed to the mare’s sides and keeps her well collected as they jump. Georgi’s gelding is a bit more stubborn, but he gets Carabosse moving pretty well, giving him his head as they jump.

Eros is giddy when it’s her turn to jump, picking up a gallop when Yuuri asks for a canter. He circles her a few times to steady the mare before pointing her at the first hedge. He keeps a firm feel for her mouth and a light press of his calves to her sides. When he and Victor would come out here alone to practice, Yuuri’s fiancé liked to act as an instructor, shouting at him like Yakov always does. It became a common practice method for them both, and they often turned it into a game by shouting stupid things at each other like-

Yuuri yelps as Eros comes to an abrupt stop before the hedge, scrambling to hold onto anything as the momentum hurtles him up onto her neck, his face ending up between her ears.

“Yuuri!” Georgi shouts at him. “Are you okay!?”

“I’m fine!” He yells back, climbing back into the saddle as Eros tilts her neck back to help him. “I just wasn’t concentrating!”

“It’s okay!” Mila reassures. “Try again and keep your eyes up!”

Yuuri urges Eros into a canter again, but her movements are tense and quick under his seat. It takes too long for him to realize that _he’s_ too stiff and Eros refuses the jump again. He sends her back into a canter before the other riders can say anything. They go around the jumps a few times, Yuuri trying to collect his mare and calm himself. He loosens his joints and relaxes his muscles and sits deeper into the saddle. He clears his mind and sends Eros to the hedge once more.

Yuuri’s hips rock in sync with the mare’s strides, his hands rest just above her withers, and he keeps his eyes up. He counts one, two, Eros faces the jump, one, two, she tightens her strides as she prepares to take off, one, two, almost there, one, two-

_“I love you!”_

Yuuri pulls back on the reins hard, Eros jerking underneath him in response. Her back legs slide to the side as she stops in front of the jump. The movement catapults her rider out of the saddle and over the hedge to roll into the grass on the other side.

Yuuri lies there for what feels like an eternity with the wind knocked out of his lungs. He gasps for air as Eros trots over to him and nuzzles at his face. He grabs hold of her reins as he sits up.

“Yuuri!”

He looks up. Georgi and Mila have appeared at his side still on their horses, faces wracked with worry. “Are you okay? Did you break anything?”

Yuuri shakes his head. “No, I’m alright.”

“Do you want a leg up?” Mila asks as he stands.

“No, I’m gonna take Eros back to the stable.”

“You sure?” Georgi calls as the pair begins their journey.

“Yeah, I can’t concentrate right now.”

Yuuri walks Eros back to the barn with his eyes glued to the ground. The mare nudges at his shoulder but he doesn’t respond to her worry. His anxiety is acting up too much for him to train. His mind keeps racing and the nerves boiling in his gut aren’t making it any easier to focus. Yuuri takes his time untacking and brushing Eros in her stall.

“Hey, pig.”

He turns to the teenager standing just outside the door, sighing as he does so. “I told you not to-”

“Why aren’t you out training with Mila and Georgi?” Yurio interrupts. “Isn’t that what you came back to do?”

Yuuri takes a deep breath. “I can’t focus, so I’m gonna go home early.”

Yurio raises an eyebrow. “You can’t focus without Victor here to babysit you?” Yuuri throws him a look and the teen rolls his eyes. “Be thankful you get to have him here with you most of the time. _Some of us_ don’t get to live with the people we love.”

Yuuri wants to snap at the boy so badly, wants to let out his anger and fear and make Yurio regret what he said. _Some of us don’t get to have the peace of mind that our loved ones are alright; Some of us have to worry that the person they want to spend the rest of their life with may be dying or in incredible pain; Some of us have to live with the guilt that comes with leaving the person they love halfway across the world to chase a stupid fucking dream that means nothing to them right now._ Yuuri wants to spill his guts onto the teenager, but he simply turns and continues to brush his mare.

Back at home, he doesn’t have any energy to even try to make himself an early dinner, so he orders takeout and flops onto the couch. He checks the time on his phone when he ends the call. _4:30._ It should be half past ten in Rio, Yakov and Victor must be awake by now. Yuuri goes into the Skype app and calls his fiancé.

It rings.

And rings.

And rings.

And rings and rings and rings.

That first call goes unanswered, and Yuuri’s exhausted mind tells him to give up. Just as he’s about to press the call button, a call notification pops up on his screen. It’s from Victor.

“Vitya?” Yuuri asks the moment he’s picked up the call.

The beautiful face of his fiancé appears on his screen and he nearly bursts into tears of joy. He’s alive, he’s safe, and he’s smiling right at Yuuri.

“моя любовь…” Victor says softly, grin widening. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too!” Yuuri chuckles in his relief. “Are you okay?”

Victor nods. “I’m fine. Sorry about missing your call; Yakov doesn’t know how phones work.” A grumble comes from off screen in response. “I was wondering when you would call, but I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. Shouldn’t you be at the barn?”

Yuuri swallows. “I couldn’t concentrate during training…”

“Oh.”

“Eros refused a couple jumps and I, uh… I fell off.”

“What?!” Victor’s face immediately becomes concerned. “Are you okay, are you hurt?”

“No, it was just a little tumble. It was my fault, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“What were you thinking about?”

Yuuri chuckles. “Those stupid things you’d yell out during training instead of counting strides like a normal person.”

Victor giggles. “Like ‘banana’ and ‘I love you’?”

“Exactly.” Yuuri’s fingers fidget on the couch cushion. “I miss you…”

“I know, моя любовь.” Victor’s smile becomes forced. “I’ll be home before you know it.”

“I just…” Yuuri sighs deeply. “It’s like Eros all over again but worse because it’s _you._ I don’t know if you’re okay or not and you can’t be updating me every second and I know you should be fine but my mind refuses to let me think the obvious and-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Victor interrupts soothingly before Yuuri can start crying. “Just breathe and remember that I’m in a top notch hospital with dozens of people watching over me who will do whatever it takes to keep me safe and sound. Okay?”

Yuuri smiles at his fiancé, running his fingers over the image of his face. “Okay.”

“And remember I-” The video suddenly stops, lingering on a single frame.

“Vitya?” Yuuri taps at the screen, heart skipping a beat when the call ends automatically. “Vitya?!”

Another call notification pops up on screen and Victor’s annoyed face appears when he answers it. “Порнозвезды lousey Skype connection.”

Yuuri bursts into hysterics.

They talk the rest of the evening, only taking breaks to eat in Yuuri’s case, get checked on in Victor’s, and charge their phones. The eventer promises to call him every day and reassures him multiple times that he’ll watch the Burghley event. Yuuri voices his concerns about training and concentrating, and they talk through it, planning for Victor to send his fiancé some texts before he sleeps so the rider will see them when he wakes up. They talk about everything and nothing, and it feels like they’re not separated at all… until Skype starts glitching again.

Yuuri falls asleep cuddled against Victor’s pillow, still talking to his fiancé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Порнозвезды - Russian for 'fucking'


	43. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright, Yuuri,” the coach begins, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Everyone is expecting Giacometti to win, but every rider here knows that this in an unpredictable sport. Just stay focused and relaxed. When you do that, you and Eros are near perfect.”  
> Yuuri nods. “Yes, coach.”  
> “And, Yuuri?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT UP BITCHES?! Gods, I really need to stop doing that.  
> Sorry this one took a little longer and might be shit, I've been really stressed and just all over the place recently. I'm trying to put more work into these latest updates to make them more enjoyable for all of you and for myself. Just please be patient and the next chapter should be up within a week.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Morning in Stamford, England is quiet and cool, a sweet mist floating over the pastures of the Burghley grounds. The only sounds are the soft nickers of the horses and the footsteps of their riders. They’re feeding the animals before they have to get ready for the first day of the event.

Yuri absentmindedly runs his fingers through Eros’s mane as she eats. His nerves keep his hands moving and trembling ever so slightly. It hasn’t been as bad as his first day back, but his anxiety still has him worrying constantly, and the hours of silence and isolation he had to live through every day didn’t help. He’s fallen into a routine of training, being comforted by Eros, waiting in a quiet apartment for his phone to ring, and then talking to Victor until he falls asleep.

This morning, Yuuri woke up to a video message from his fiancé. The Olympian’s face had been sleepy and his hair was messed up, but his smile was as wide as ever. “Good morning, моя любовь!” Victor had gotten back to St. Petersburg the evening the Classics riders had flown to England. The trophy wall was blurry in the background of the video. “I miss you. Everything smells like you in here and it’s not helping. If only our flights had overlapped… Yakov helped me settle in and I’m not in any pain. Just a little stiff and achy. Anyway, I wanted to remind you that I love you and that I’m so proud of you. I’m so excited to watch you ride today.” The eventer yawns. “I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna take a nap. I’ll call you when I wake up.”

Yuuri chuckles at the memory. He had put Victor’s pillowcase on his own pillow to bring the smell of fiancé with him. Now he falls asleep with a faceful of peppermint conditioner and the comfort of home. He forgot to consider that leaving behind something with his own scent would affect Victor. What does Yuuri even smell like?

Anyway, he felt much better after watching it, but the nerves are still there. He’ll get no good luck kiss from his lover, no advice during warm up, no one to cling to if his anxiety gets worse. He sighs against his mare’s side before straightening and walking out the stall door. There are only a couple hours before the event begins, so he needs to start getting Eros ready.

Yuuri pauses as he gathers his brushes. Down the aisle, Sara and Mila brush Sala together in the cross ties, and Otabek shows Yurio how to properly braid Beethoven’s mane, praising the teen when he does well. Rapsodie was rolling in the pasture when they arrived his morning, so Chris and Sam are washing the brown spots off her white coat. Phichit, Emil, and Mickey are joking a laughing as they get their horses ready, and Lilia talks with Georgi in the doorway of Carabosse’s stall.

Yuuri stands and goes back into Eros’s stall. His chest aches as he begins running the curry over her fur in small circles.

What is going on? This is so different from anything Yuuri’s experienced before. He’s not depressed or too anxious, just sort of… numb. He’s worried but only slightly because of the video. Even his last time being apart from Victor wasn’t like this. Yuuri had Niki to worry about and his family to keep him from being lonely-

Lonely.

Oh…

This is his first year in this competition level, he hardly knows any of the other riders, and it didn’t matter before because Victor was always there to keep him company. His fiancé made him comfortable enough to be around these new people and now… he’s an outsider in this community. Yuuri sighs against Eros once more. The mare turns her head to nibble at his side and he scratches her muzzle.

“I’m alright, g-”

“Yuuri.”

He turns to the familiar voice. Phichit-kun looks at him with mild worry. “We have to start warming up soon, are you done with her?”

Yuuri curses under his breath. “No. How long do we have?”

“Not long, but I can help you.” His best friend enters the mare’s stall and goes to her tail.

“You don’t have to,” Yuuri begins in protest.

“Don’t worry about it,” Phichit-kun reassures him as he begins braiding the Eros’s tail. “Terra is all ready. Besides, you’ve been alone in here for long enough.”

Yuuri smiles at his best friend and goes back to braiding his horse’s mane into little buttons. The friends chat as they work, remembering times they were running late and had to do this for each other in college. Once, Phichit-kun forgot his jacket and had to borrow Yuuri’s when he wasn’t riding. The jacket was much too big for the Thai rider, but he ended up with the best dressage score that day.

“Are you doing alright?” Phichit-kun asks as they pick and polish Eros’s hooves.

“Yeah,” Yuuri responds. “Just a bit…”

“Nervous? Worried?”

“Lonely.”

“Really?”

Yuuri nods. “Just a little… I miss him.”

“I bet you do. I can’t imagine watching my fiancé go through that sort of thing and stand being separated from them for a minute.” Phichit-kun gives him a sad smile. “He’s back home, right?”

“Yeah. Yakov’s taking care of him.”

“That’s good.” Phichit’s silent for a moment and then giggles. “It’s still crazy to me…”

“What?”

“That telling Victor about Yu-topia got you two together.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “That wasn’t the  _ only _ thing that got us together.”

“Correct! It was your devilish charms.”

“The charms you fell in love with?” Yuuri teases, batting his eyelashes at his friend.

“That was for two weeks! It got awkward after that…”

They finish getting Eros ready just in time for warm up and walk their horses out to the arena together. They separate to go to their respective coaches, promising to meet back up later. Lilia is waiting for him, already briefing Mila on what she needs to work on.

“Alright, Yuuri,” the coach begins, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Everyone is expecting Giacometti to win, but every rider here knows that this in an unpredictable sport. Just stay focused and relaxed. When you do that, you and Eros are near perfect.”

Yuuri nods. “Yes, coach.”

“And, Yuuri?” He looks back to her as he’s walking away. Lilia smiles. “I’m very proud of you. You’ve come much further than Yakov and I ever expected.”

Yuuri matches her smile. “Thank you, coach.”

Burghley has another grass arena, so he spends the first half of warm up just trotting and cantering Eros around the arena, getting her used to the terrain. He goes through pirouettes and all the other moves she struggles with, listening to and applying Lilia’s advice along the way. After an hour of warm up, it’s time for the event to begin.

Yuuri is one of the final riders of the day, so he hangs out in the barn with Phichit-kun and Chris and the other young riders. He stays mostly quiet, but it’s nice to be included in their group. He excuses himself when his phone rings, heart beginning to race.

Yuuri slips into a corner of the tack room and answers the call. “Vitya?”

_ “Yuuri!” _ His fiancé’s voice is so loud, he has to hold the phone away from his ear. “Oh, I missed your voice so much, моя любовь.”

He giggles. “We talked yesterday.”

“Exactly! It’s been  _ hours _ .”

Yuuri laughs a little more before he can speak properly. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, darling. Yakov helped get me settled into the living room so I can watch the event. You look amazing, although I have to say, that jacket is much more stunning in person.”

“I agree.” He’s wearing the navy blue, diamond studded jacket from the Japanese Nationals. “… I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, моя любовь.” Victor’s voice echoes Yuuri’s longing. “How are you feeling?”

“A little… lonely. It’s small but still there.”

“Anxious at all?”

“Somewhat,” Yuuri answers. “More lonely than anything.”

“Spend time with the other riders; they’ll make you feel better.”

“I have and they do… I just really miss you.”

“I know, моя любовь. This is the longest we’ve been separated for over two years.”

“It’s crazy to think about…” Yuuri smiles to himself. “How quickly everything seemed to move. You arrived and then a few months later we were dating, and then just a year after that we got engaged.”

“It didn’t feel fast at all to me…” Victor admits. “We spent every day of those months together. That’s more than other couples can claim.”

“Do you think our wedding will happen just as quickly?”

“With your mother and Phichit planning it? I have a feeling they’ll be forcing us into marriage before winter.”

Yuuri giggles. “Would you marry me on the spot if I won the Classics?”

“Absolutely.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you’ll have to wait a little longer.”

They talk for a little while longer before Yuuri has to head out to the arena. Victor wishes him luck and they share ‘I love you’s before hanging up. The edge of loneliness he felt all morning is gone. Now, more than ever, he’s determined.

Yuuri rides just after Phichit-kun. Chris is currently in the lead in terms of the dressage score and Classics rankings. He’d have to get lower than fourth place to lose the overall Event by the end of Burghley. Like Lilia said, it’s not impossible.

Yuuri’s name is called and he trots Eros into the arena. He waves to the crowd as they cheer before signaling for the music. They passage into the arena, Yuuri bows, and they begin.

Eros is calm and collected as her rider ushers her around the arena. Her movements are smooth, her head held proudly, and she is absolutely perfect as she dances. Yuuri applies every one of Lilia’s suggestions, but he hardly feels like he needs to do anything. The black mare woos and wows the crowd, and when Yuuri takes his finishing bow, they’ve leapt to their feet in applause. He leans over Eros’s neck to hug her close. His score is just one penalty point ahead of Chris’s, putting him in the lead.

That night, once everyone’s showered and relaxed, the young riders go out to dinner together. The English food is pretty crap, but the conversation is wonderful and Yuuri laughs the most he has in years. For the first time, he feels like a part of this small eventing community.


	44. Ms. Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not doing that right,” Yurio says.  
> Yuuri frowns. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for being so patient and understanding. After a week of not being able to write, I was finally able to start up again and I now bring you this. I hope it was worth waiting for. I don't know when the next chapter will go up, I'll be taking my time with these last few ones. Check as often as possible and I'll see you then.  
> Enjoy, my lovelies!

Yuuri is the first one in the barn the morning of cross country day. As he steps into the stable, all the horses stick their head out over their stall doors to nicker at him, just like the school horses at Yu-topia.

“Good morning to you all too,” he chuckles as he walks down the aisle to Eros’s stall and deposits his equipment bag outside the door.

The mare is nuzzling his hair before he can even get inside her stall to pet her. She snuggles her face into his chest and he hugs her close, smiling genuinely for the first time today. Yuuri woke up to an underwhelming amount of messages from Victor. They were more of the usual ‘I miss you’s and ‘Yakov is being annoying and won’t let me order takeout’s, but then there was a long gap between texts. The most recent was simple and hard to swallow.

__ _ Not feeling so well. Lots of pain. Don’t worry. Can’t talk for a while. I love you. _

Yuuri has been worrying since he first saw the message.  _ Pain.  _ What kind of pain?  _ Lots.  _ How much is ‘lots’? Can he move, is Yakov helping him?  _ Don’t worry.  _ Does Victor know who he’s going to marry? Of course he’s going to worry!  _ Can’t talk for a while.  _ How long? I need you…

Eros nudges him and Yuuri goes back to scratching her. “Sorry, girl. I’m just… worried.”

The other riders begin showing up at the stable as Yuuri feeds his mare and fills up her water bucket. As he starts grooming her, his worry grows as his mind races. What happened? Did something rupture? Did his stitches break? Shouldn’t they have dissolved into his body by now? Have Victor’s ribs broken again? Is that even possible?

A familiar set of voices have Yuuri turning to the stall door. The Russian riders walk by, their perfectly postured coach between them.

“Lilia!” Yuuri calls out as he scrambles to get out the door. She turns as he locks the stall behind him. “Have you heard from Yakov?”

“No,” the coach frowns. “Are you alright, Yuuri? What’s wrong?”

He pulls out his phone to show her the texts. “There’s something wrong with Victor, and I figured that Yakov would be there with him. I just… need to know if he’s okay.”

“Alright,” Lilia says, taking out her phone. “I’ll try calling him.”

Yuuri sighs with relief. “Thank you…”

Lilia puts her hand on his shoulder. “Relax, Моё золото. I’m sure Victor is alright. Focus on getting ready and warming up.”

He takes another deep breath. “Yes, coach.”

“Do you want help, Yuuri?” Georgi asks.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

He thanks Lilia once more who promises to tell him if she hears back from Yakov and starts back towards Eros’s stall. He’s stopped by more familiar voices.

“Yuuri!” Chris jogs down the aisle towards him, Sam on his heels. “What’s wrong with Victor? What’s happened!?” The Swiss rider takes his hands and clutches them tightly.

Yuuri trembles as he responds. “I don’t know. All I know is that he’s in some kind of pain and doesn’t want me to worry.”

Sam sighs sadly, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder as the rider turns away from his competitor. “I’m so sorry, Yuuri.” He says with an apologetic smile, then tucking an arm around his husband and ushering him away.

“I- I’m sorry!” Yuuri calls after them. His voice goes quiet as they disappear into a stall. “I wish I knew more…”

He rushes through getting Eros ready, needing to redo her mane buttons. He checks everything an extra time to make sure his fidgeting didn’t ruin anything else. Lilia called Yakov multiple times, unable to get an answer. She mumbled about him being unable to keep his phone charged and cursing in Russian before going off to help Mila with her polo wraps.

Yuuri now bites his lip to near bleeding as he dons his safety equipment. He ignores Eros’s nickers and compassionate eyes as he leads her to the warm up arena. Lilia is busy with her other students, so Yuuri focuses on flat work in the meantime.

He lets Eros walk as he adjusts his stirrups, urging her to trot before stopping her again to fix the right one. That happens every time; stirrups are so frustrating. Somehow, even though he never touched them, Victor’s stirrups would always be uneven when he mounted Makkachin. He’d mutter to himself as he corrected them. Sometimes, Yuuri does it just to mess with his fiancé. He once made them shorter than jockey stirrups and Victor was struggling with them for twenty minutes.

Eros’s smooth gaits and these happy memories have Yuuri smiling as they continue warming up. When they stop by the edge of the arena for water, Lilia places a hand on his leg.

“Yakov didn’t answer from his own phone, so I tried Victor’s. I got something back from Yakov then, but it only said that he couldn’t talk and not to worry.”

Yuuri sighs, heart jamming his throat, before urging Eros forward and cantering away.

By the time the event has begun, he’s no closer to knowing what’s wrong with his fiancé than he was when he first read that text. Yuuri stands beside his mare near the start gate, petting her muzzle and cooing as the vet looks her over. Ever since she healed from colic, Eros has been more skittish about people beside Yuuri touching her.

“Easy, girl,” he shushes her as the mare tosses her head and stomps as the vet moves to her legs. She picks up the leg being examined and kicks back, missing the vet by a meter.

“Eros,” Yuuri scolds her, giving a light tug on her reins.

“It’s alright,” the vet assures him with a chuckle. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

“Pig!”

Yuuri groans before turning. “Yurio.”

The teen walks towards him from where Otabek has mounted Beethoven and is getting ready for his turn. The boy’s face is cold and slightly furious. Yuuri takes a step back as he stops in front of him.

“You’re not doing that right,” Yurio says.

Yuuri frowns. “What?”

The teen rolls his eyes. “Here.” He grabs Yuuri’s hand and puts it in between Eros’s ears. “Pet her here. That’ll help her calm down.”

Yuuri scratches under his mare’s forelock and she relaxes, leaning into his touch and nickering. He smiles and turns to thank Yurio, but the teen has already gone back to Otabek’s side. He grins at Yurio from Beethoven’s back, reaching down to take his hand. The teen smiles back; the first smile Yuuri has ever seen from him. He watches as Otabek places a chaste kiss to Yurio’s hand before he sends his gelding towards the start gate. At the signal, the pair gallop away down the trail. As he watches Yurio watching his competitor, Yuuri can’t help but feel jealousy towards the boy and his admirer.

“Yuuri!” He turns to Lilia who stands with her other students, both already done with the course. “It’s almost your turn.”

The coach gives him a leg up onto Eros’s back and she checks the girth as Yuuri adjusts his stirrups. His heart is pounding again, the blood rushing through him making his fingers tremble.

“Моё золото.” Yuuri turns to Lilia at his side. She takes his hand between hers. “Victor is fine. If Yakov said not to worry, you shouldn’t be worried. He’s an old, balding buffoon, but he wouldn’t let one of his students be harmed.” Yuuri chuckles at her words. “Focus on Eros and the jumps. Everything will be fine.”

He nods and urges the more towards the start gate. She prances on her hooves as she waits for her rider’s go ahead. Yuuri takes a deep breath, hands clenching around the reins, not trying to make his heart slow. He listens to the rushing blood and percussious beating and lets it draw him to reality. He’s sitting atop a glorious creature, about to perform one of the most dangerous feats of athleticism, and adrenaline flows through his every vein.

The signal is given, Yuuri presses his heels into Eros’s gut, and she bursts forward into a sprint.

He’s aware of every tense and loose muscle in his body, every movement of the horse underneath him. A slight twitch of his fingers and lean of his seat and Eros slows to safely jump the first two hedges, a squeeze of his legs sending her back into a forward gallop. He keeps a feel for her mouth when approaching water and near drops the reins when they go up hills.

There’s no distinction between the beat of Yuuri’s heart and the beat of Eros’s hooves against the ground. Their muscles seem to meld together, the action of Yuuri’s hands and legs causing a perfect reaction in Eros. They seem to think as one, counting strides and making snap decisions. They’ve become a centaur.

When they reach the finish line, Yuuri collapses against Eros’s neck as she comes to a halt. She bends over to breathe deeply, her neck covered in sweat and buttons coming undone. The vet descends on them in seconds, checking the mare over as Lilia checks on Yuuri. He accepts the water bottle she hands him, drinking a little and pouring some into his palm to rub over Eros’s neck. The mare nickers as he does it again.

“She’s fine,” the vet says a she straightens. “Just hose her off well and give her a treat. She was amazing.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri says breathlessly.

“Моё золото.” He looks to Lilia, starting at her stern frown. “What were you thinking? You were going too fast, you could have exhausted her! Be thankful that she’s okay.”

“What’s our score?” He asks.

“The same as yesterday,” Lilia answers, motioning for him to dismount. “You were the only pair to stay inside the time limit.” She puts a hand on his shoulder as they begin walking back to the stable. “Christophe Giacometti had a refusal. He dropped from second to sixth.”

Yuuri is too tired to have a physical reaction to her words. Chris is in first in the overall rankings, but if Yuuri wins and the Swiss rider fails to stay in the top five… Yuuri will win the Classics.

 

He lies in the hotel bed that night, his room service dinner finished and left on the table. He’s reading, trying to distract himself, when his phone rings.

Yuuri scrambles to grab it from the other side of the bed, answering it without looking at who it is. “Hello?”

“моя любовь!” comes Victor’s sweet voice. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t talk to you today. Yakov lost the pain medication and it’s not something a pharmacy would have, so he had to go to a hospital to get more- Yuuri? Are you okay?”

He swallows the sob in his throat and removes his hand from his mouth to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. “I-I’m alright… How are you?”

“Fine now that the pain’s gone.” Victor’s tone turns concerned. “Were you worried?”

“Of course I was worried!” Yuuri near raises his voice. “Do you know who you’re marrying? I’m always worried about you.”

Victor chuckles. “I made sure Yakov included that in his text.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“You were amazing.”

“Thank you.”

They talk for an hour before Victor has to go to sleep. By then, Yuuri is happy and hungry again. He gets up and pauses just as the hotel room door closes behind him. Phichit-kun and Chris are walking down the hall towards him, both carry shopping bags in their hands.

“Yuuri!” Phichit jogs to him. “We were just about to come get you! We’re doing a sleepover with everyone in Chris and Sam’s room. Do you wanna join us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Моё золото - Russian for 'my gold'


	45. Last Friday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s more a man than any of you will ever be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya'll sexy bitches! Miss me? Probably not, it's only been five days. I have a lovely little chapter for you today! I hope you enjoy!

“A what?”

Phichit-kun chuckles at his best friend. “A sleepover! Everyone is already in the room and we have food!” He holds up the bags. “It’s sort of a tradition on the last night of the last event. So, are you coming?”

Yuuri’s eyes flick to Chris for an instant, taking in the blank face of his competitor before turning back to his best friend and nodding. Phichit-kun smiles widely and grabs his arm, dragging him down the hall, Chris following behind. They have to wait for the Swiss rider to unlock the door before they enter his and Sam’s room.

Phichit-kun wasn’t lying; everyone is here and it looks like they brought every pillow and blanket from their own rooms.

Yurio and Otabek sit on one side of the bed, the teenager showing the other rider how to braid hair, using Sam as a model while Mila jumps on the other side of the king-sized mattress. Sara jumps down from her girlfriend’s side to join Georgi in rummaging through the bags that Phichit-kun and Chris are holding. Emil and Mickey are taking the pillows and blankets and creating a huge ‘nest’ on the floor in front of the TV; blankets laid out on the floor and pillows set around it in a circle with a few extra scattered inside.

“Did you guys get  _ every single  _ nail polish color in the store?” Sara asks as she pulls the bottles out of the bag a handful at a time.

“You  _ said  _ to get as many as possible!” Phichit-kun retaliates. “And they were only a pound each.”

“Ooo, Sara, look at this.” Georgi holds out a huge eye shadow pallet with every color imaginable inside.

Chris sets down the other bags on a table in the corner of the room. He begins pulling tubs of ice cream and other snacks and treats out of them, and Yuuri goes to help him.

“I heard from Victor,” he says after a moment of awkward silence.

Chris slams a bottle onto the table, his head turning violently towards Yuuri. “ _ And? _ ”

“He’s fine.” Yuuri shares a sigh of relief with the Swiss rider. “Apparently Yakov lost his pain meds, so he had to go to a hospital to get more.”

“Thank god.” Chris pulls his competitor into a hug. “Thank you for looking out for him.”

Yuuri smiles as he returns the hug. “I’m glad to; it’s my job.”

“I hope you’re not planning on leaving me, Christophe,” comes Sam’s voice from the bed where his shoulder-length hair has been put into a gorgeous French braid. Otabek is trying to emulate the hairstyle on Yurio’s hair.

Chris laughs as he turns to his husband. “Depends on if you can best Yuuri on the dance floor.” He gives his competitor a sly look, holding up the bottle he’d slammed down before.

Yuuri recognizes it instantly. “Oh no, we are  _ not  _ recreating the 50th Anniversary party!”

“Please, Yuuri?” Phichit-kun begs. “We thought this could be like your bachelor party!”

“I’m not getting married for a while,” he backs away from Chris. “Besides, we have to compete tomorrow! You can’t ride hungover!”

“Says who?”

“Chris, no!”

“Chris, yes!”

Yuuri spends the next ten minutes hiding behind Sam and under the covers and using Mila as a shield because Chris and Phichit-kun are chasing him around the room, trying to get him to drink the whole bottle of champagne. He agrees to have some - no more than two glasses - and everyone settles into the nest on the floor with drinks and snacks, picking out a nail polish color.

“I really only need a touch up,” Yuuri says as Sara brings the bag of bottles to him.

He shows her his deep blue nails covered in a coat of glitter and she squeals in delight. “Did Victor do these for you?”

“He did my right hand, but I did the left,” Yuuri explains. “We do spa days over the weekends, so I’ve had practice.”

“You’re really good! And I  _ love _ that color.”

Yuuri blushes. “Thanks.”

He helps Sara and Georgi show the others how to paint their nails. Otabek takes to it right away and helps Yurio figure it out. Mickey gets frustrated easily as he constantly gets the purple polish on his skin, Emil laughing at his outbursts. Sam and Chris are naturals, and Sara sits in front of her girlfriend to do her nails, holding her hands with a gentle caress as if she’s afraid to break them. Georgi helps touch up Yuuri’s polish and he paints his friend’s toes. The champagne bottle is handed around as everyone talks and laughs.

“So, we gonna play ‘truth or dare’?” Emil asks after a few minutes.

“Oh,  _ yes _ !” Phichit-kun says with excitement.

“That’s a kid game,” Mickey complains.

“It’s classic sleepover protocol,” Mila snaps at him.

They decide to take turns, going around the circle and whoever’s turn it is gets to make the person sitting across from them do a dare or tell a secret. Emil gets to go first since he requested it and has Sam tell them explicit details about his and Chris’s wedding night. After a sentence, everyone covers their ears and several of them start screaming. Chris just stares at his husband with a loving look as he finishes.

Otabek has Phichit-kun chug half a bottle of champagne, which Yuuri grabs away from his best friend before he can down the whole thing. Yurio dares Mila to drink the toilet water, which she does amazingly. She takes an empty bottle of champagne, fills it up halfway, and chugs it. Half the group starts screaming while the other half watches in awe. Georgi dares Sara to kiss one of the men in the room to which she responds by kissing Mila.

“I said ‘man’!” Georgi exclaims.

“She’s more a man than any of you will ever be.”

By the time Chris asks him to pick truth or dare, Yuuri is giggly and tipsy from the champagne. He picks truth and waits for the Swiss rider to think of something.

“What’s your favorite thing about Vitenk’a?” He asks after a moment.

Yuuri goes bright red, ducking his head down and brushing his hair behind his ear. “I don’t… I don’t _ have _ a favorite thing about him. I…” He flushes deeper. “I love everything about him.”

“If you  _ had  _ to pick one,” Emil suggests.

Yuuri picks at the dried polish on his skin as he thinks. “ _ I don’t know _ . I love  _ everything _ about him. I love his eyes and the freckles he gets in the summer and how much he loves Makkachin. He drools in his sleep and makes amazing coffee and I love the food he cooks and I just…” He giggles, biting on his bottom lip. “I can’t wait to marry him.”

Everyone is silent for a moment.

“Wow…” Sara breathes.

“That’s beautiful,” Georgi adds.

“You must miss him.” Yuuri looks up to Emil, who has taken Mickey’s hand.

“Yeah.” He picks off a bit of nail polish and tosses it away. “I do.”

“Is this still your bachelor party?” Phichit-kun asks, his voice slurred. “Because if it is, this is the perfect time for a speech!”

“No!” Yuuri yells at his friend, but the Thai rider has already grabbed another bottle of champagne and pops it open to the cheers of the other young people in the room.

Phichit-kun takes a swig and jumps onto the bed, holding the bottle up. “Yuuri and I were put together as roommates in college. I was excited because we were both on the riding team and he had seemed really cool when we talked over the summer. He got settled into the room before I did, and the second I walked in for the first time, this is what I saw-”

“Oh, god.” Yuuri buries his head in his hands to hide his blush.

“The walls on Yuuri’s side of the room were completely covered in Victor’s face. Posters and cut outs from magazines and collages; every inch of the walls over his bed were covered in images of Victor. And there was Yuuri, lying beneath them, watching Victor’s training videos in his underwear.”

The room bursts into laughter and Yuuri curls in on himself in shame.

“He was obsessed!” Phichit-kun continues. “And he  _ still is _ , but for different reasons. Yuuri used to wake me up in the middle of the night because Victor had posted a new picture on Instagram and he needed to fawn over it with someone. Just a few years later, he called me in the middle of the night because Victor was drooling in his sleep and he needed to talk about how beautiful his boyfriend was.” Yuuri looks up to find his best friend smiling at him. “This is a dream come true for me, Yuuri, because I’ve never seen you so endlessly happy as you are now, and I’m so glad that I was able to play a part in it.”

The riders applaud their competitor as Phichit-kun takes another swig of champagne. Yuuri stands to hug his friend and take the bottle away from him. They all go back to playing truth or dare until Mila has tasted almost every substance in the bathroom and would poison herself if they went on. They then put on the  _ Harry Potter  _ franchise and watch it until people start falling asleep. It’s two in the morning when the fourth movie ends and almost everyone has passed out. Chris and Yuuri are left awake, Sam and Phichit-kun sleeping against either of them.

“You passed.”

“Hmm?” Yuuri turns to his competitor.

Chris smiles as he undoes his husband’s braid and untangles it with his fingers. “I wanted to see just how much you care for Vitenk’a. I can’t have just anyone marrying my best friend.”

“Hadn’t I proven myself enough?” Yuuri frowns.

“I just wanted to be sure.” Chris winks at him. “There are some things I want you to know.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve seen Victor change a lot,” Chris begins. “When we first met, he was the happiest, most social person you’d ever meet. He had lots of friends and was constantly dating. He excelled in school and found immense joy in riding.” His smile falters. “Two years after Yakov found him and put him in the Rolex, he had changed drastically. He was mostly silent and kept to himself, only really talking to Makkachin. A year after that, he cut all his hair off and at the first Classics event of that year, I found him crying in the hotel bathroom.

“From what Victor has told me and what I’ve seen, this is the happiest he’s ever been in a long time, maybe ever. And it’s all thanks to you and what you’ve brought to his life.” Chris sighs into a smile. “I don’t know what you did, but I’ve never seen him smile the way he does when he looks at you. Please keep taking care of him for me.”

Yuuri nods. “I will.”


	46. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri sighs and leans against Eros, the mare looking to him with curiosity and concern. She blows warm air into his face and he blows back.  
> “I’m alright, girl.” She snorts, as if sensing his bullshit. He chuckles. “I’m just a bit confused.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! SATAN IS BACK!!  
> I've missed you guys! I'm so sorry this took so long. Three weeks, I feel so bad! It's the end of the semester and I was really stressed and anxious and kinda depressed and I just couldn't write everything in time like I wanted to. Now it is done. THE CLIMAX IS HERE!!  
> Thank you to all of you who have been reading whether it's been since day one or since the most recent chapter's been uploaded. I hope this is to your satisfaction and that you enjoy the upcoming resolution.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

When Yuuri wakes up, there’s only one thought on his mind; he absolutely _hates_ his alarm tone. He misses waking up to coffee and kisses.

He rubs his eyes before putting on his glasses and opening his phone. The first thing he notices are the Instagram and Twitter icons in his notifications with numbers in the… _thousands?!_

Yuuri opens up his Instagram and immediately finds the culprit. Phichit-kun had taken pictures during the sleepover last night and must have posted them in his drunken stupor. Most of them are blurry or ultra close up, but a few came out all right and they are… spectacular.

They begin with Sara doing Mila’s nails and the others smiling while showing off their manicures. Another shows Emil stuffing as many marshmallows into his mouth as he can. Then come the photos of the truth or dare game. Phichit-kun seemed to have posted a video that got taken down just before images of Mila chugging toilet water, and Yuuri can only assume that was of Sam describing his wedding night with Chris. Aside from other pictures of couples kissing and Yuuri blushing deeply, the rest are blurry and out of focus.

Yuuri was tagged in every single picture and in hundreds more reposts and comments. The images migrated to Twitter, where he got tagged and tweeted at even more. When he finds the video, it’s thankfully of a part of the story _before_ Sam got into the real details.

As he’s scrolling through the posts, he gets a Skype call notification which he answers immediately.

“‘Morning, моя любовь,” comes Victor’s sweet voice the moment his face appears on Yuuri’s screen.

“Good morning, Vitya,” he smiles at his fiancé.

“Did you have fun last night?” the eventer asks with a smirk.

Yuuri groans and flops back onto the hotel pillows. “I had no idea Phichit-kun was taking pictures.”

“I’m glad he did; you looked so cute! What were you blushing about?”

Yuuri feels himself going pink. “We were playing truth or dare and Chris wanted to know… what my favorite thing about you is.”

“Ohh!” Victor’s voice turns high pitched in excitement. “What did you say? Is it my body?”

“No,” Yuuri chuckles. He tucks his hair behind his ear. “I… I don’t have a favorite thing; I love everything about you.”

Oh, _Yu-uri!_ ” Victor’s squeals in delight, followed by a string of sweet-sounding words and phrases in Russian. He knows that if his fiancé were in Burghley, he’d be smothering him in hugs and kisses.

“I have to start getting read soon,” Yuuri says once his fiancé has calmed down.

“Okay,” Victor replies. “Are you nervous?”

“As much as I usually am,” Yuuri shrugs. “Chris has dropped back.”

“I know. If he stays in sixth place, you could win the Classics.”

Yuuri’s heart jumps. “Even if I mess up?”

Victor frowns. “Well, no. I did the math and you’d have to win Burghley with Chris in at least sixth place for you to win overall.”

Yuuri’s heart stops. “So… a one in a million chance.”

“ _Yu_ -uri,” Victor scolds. “Show jumping is where you and Eros excel. There’s almost no doubt in my mind that you’ll win.”

“And when I do, you’ll meet me in the airport with a pastor and will marry me the moment I get to Russia?” Yuuri asks, raising an eyebrow as he does.

“Yes,” Victor answers with complete confidence. “I’ll get the papers and a dress.” Yuuri laughs. “We can set up the baggage area like a chapel and Yakov will walk you down the aisle.” Yuuri clutches at his stomach as he doubles over in a fit of giggles. “I’m serious, моя любовь.”

“I know!” Yuuri takes a deep breath, trying to control himself. “I know you are.”

They talk until Yuuri has to get ready for the event. They hang up, and he goes into the ensuite bathroom to shower. He struggles with tucking his shirt in and tying back his hair, his belt gets twisted as he loops it around his breeches and he puts on his tall boots for ten minutes.

When Yuuri finally gets to the barn, everyone is already there getting their horses ready. Eros nuzzles at his outstretched hands when he reaches her stall, looking for breakfast. He fills up her water and feed buckets and begins brushing the mare while she eats. Stray bits of fur and dust fly off into the air with every flick of the body brush, the particles catching the morning sunlight and turning the air into diamonds.

“‘Morning, Yuuri.”

He turns to find Chris standing on the other side of the stall door. “Hi.”

“Got a hangover from last night?” the Swiss rider asks.

Yuuri shakes his head. “What about Phichit?”

Chris chuckles. “He’s a bit out of it, but he’ll be fine.”

“That’s good.”

“Mhmm,” Chriss grins. “So, you have a chance to win your first ever Classics.”

Yuuri sighs. “Did you talk to Victor?”

“I less talked to him than I did listen to him ramble about you for fifteen minutes.”

Yuuri grumbles. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to win this year, I didn’t even think I would get this far or do this w-”

“Yuuri,” Chris cuts him off. “It’s fine. You’ve clearly worked hard to get here and I could only be proud of the person Victor has chosen.”

“Thank you…” Yuuri matches his competitor’s smiles.

Chris holds out his hand. “Victor and I place bets on the final day of the Classics every year.” He wiggles his fingers. “Care to try?”

Yuuri chuckles. “Okay.”

“If I win, I get to marry you and Victor.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I get to be the minister at your wedding.”

“ _Oh_. Alright.” Yuuri laughs at the thought that comes to mind. “If I win, you have to perform a pole dance at our reception.”

“Deal.”

They shake on it and go back to getting their horses ready.

After he’s walked the course and tacked up Eros, Yuuri joins the other riders at the warm up arena. He pauses by the gate, watching his competitors. Chris and Rapsodie, fluid, smooth, and powerful; Mila and Sala, graceful and strong; Phichit-kun and Terra, a perfect match; Otabek and Beethoven… if Yuuri makes a single mistake, those two will win Burghley and Chris will win the Classics. Does he care? This is his first Classics, while those two have worked for years to accomplish this, and with Victor out of the way, they finally have a chance. Yes, he’d make history but does he want to? What _does_ he want?

…

Yuuri wants to see Victor.

He wants to be back at home with his fiancé, wants to take care of him as he heals, wants to marry him the moment he can.

But he also wants to win.

Yuuri sighs and leans against Eros, the mare looking to him with curiosity and concern. She blows warm air into his face and he blows back.

“I’m alright, girl.” She snorts, as if sensing his bullshit. He chuckles. “I’m just a bit confused.”

“Yuuri!” He turns and there’s Lilia, marching towards him. “You need to get warmed up, the Event starts in half an hour.”

“Yes, coach.”

“I want you to focus on the triples,” she points to the two lines in the arena, at opposite ends of the ring.

Yuuri nods and leads his mare into the arena, mounting and getting her trotting immediately. Eros is alert as they move around the arena, ears flicking in awareness towards the jumps. Yuuri shifts his legs, inside one against the girth and outside one moved back. The mare responds immediately, jumping into a forward canter. Her rider collects her gait, relaxing his hips to rock with her motions.

With a turn of Yuuri’s head and soft tug on the reins, Eros turns to a simple vertical. She leaps the jump with ease, snorting happily as he ushers her to an oxar. One, two, one, two, three, they seem to pause in the air before landing safely on the other side.

“Easy, girl,” Yuuri coos as he presses his leg to her side to help her turn to one of the triples.

Eros collects her stride, holding back before the first jump. With a squeeze of her rider’s leg, she lets it go and propels them over the fence. Two strides later, she jumps again. Yuuri settles back into the saddle, ready to jump up again into two-point position. One-

_Victor’s unbalanced seat has caused him to fall to the gelding’s side…_

Two-

_He gets trapped under his horse as they both hit the dirt…_

Yuuri grabs hold of Eros’s mane as she jumps that last fence and canters away, slowing to a walk at the slight tug of the reins. She stops in a corner of the arena and turns to look at her rider, nudging his boot with her muzzle. After a moment, he reaches down to scratch her forelock.

“I’m fine, girl.” Yuuri swallows a sob. “I’ll be alright.”

He urges her to trot to where Lilia stands by the fence. He takes a drink of water, pouring some onto Eros’s neck.

His coach rests a hand on his knee, drawing his attention to her. “Are you alright? You looked shaken after the triple.”

“I’m fine,” Yuuri forces a smile before hiding behind his water bottle.

“Is it Victor?” Lilia persists. “Are you worried again? Should I call Yakov?”

“No, it’s fine,” Yuuri insists.

He turns Eros away from the fence and trots her back out onto the arena track. The mare snorts and tugs at his tight hold on her mouth and Yuuri loosens the reins, apologizing to her.

What’s wrong with him? Why was that triple so distressing? Is he _ever_ going to be able to get over what happened in Rio?

“Yuuri?”

He looks over to Phichit-kun who sits astride Terra, the sweet bay mare sweaty around her chest from the warm up. “Are you alright?”

Yuuri nods, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. What about you? Are you still hungover?”

Phichit-kun chuckles. “Champagne isn’t _that bad._ It’s only when you drink more than sixteen glasses that bad stuff starts happening.”

Yuuri makes a face at his best friend before trotting Eros away, Phichit-kun’s laughter accompanying his exit.

The event starts and Yuuri sponges down his mare’s chest while they wait for their turn. The course is in the small Burghley arena, another grass one which Eros has gotten well used to by now. The jumps are tall and a good majority of them are spreads of some sort, either oxars or diagonals. There are only four lines, three doubles and the final jump a triple set. It’s nothing Yuuri and Eros haven’t aced before, but something just feels off. It’s not anything he can name or understand, it’s just a wrongness that he cannot shake or ignore.

Lilia ushers her students out to the arena before their time to ride. Mila and Sala are the first of them to go, Georgi and Carabosse go later, after Otabek. He and Beethoven do very well, only knocking one rail. They’re just two penalty points behind Yuuri and Eros. If they have any faults, the Kazakhstani rider will win Burghley and Chris will win the Classics.

Georgi gives Yuuri a leg up into Eros’s saddle before his turn. Just like yesterday, he can feel his heartbeat in every pressure point on his body, the rushing pounds deafening. There’s so much blood flowing so fast that he can hardly think straight. His mare turns to look at him, nickering sweetly. He lies against her neck, drinking in her musty scent of fur and sawdust and allowing it to wash over him like a calming blanket.

Yuuri cannot let this strange emotion - this mixture of fear and nerves and stress - ruin his chances of doing well today. He’s worked for a year and a half to reach this point and he will not let three stupid fences ruin all that he’s done.

Yuuri sits up tall in the saddle after he scratches Eros’s muzzle, urging her forward towards the opening to the arena. Chris and Rapsodie come trotting by them, his competitor giving him a curt nod and a smile. He smiles back and walks his mare out into the arena when his name is called. She breaks into a canter at his command, circling and collecting before pointing herself at the first jump. The pair will have eighty seconds to clear twelve fences.

Yuuri counts Eros’s strides, they jump, land, and the clock officially begins.

The second jump is on the other end of the arena. The pair weaves through the fences they’ll jump later to reach it. Yuuri straightens his mare, guiding her focus to the vertical just strides before them. He holds her steady as she prepares to jump and they leap as one, landing and moving on to the next fence.

They canter around another set of jumps, Yuuri pressing his leg against Eros’s side to help her turn to the double line set before them. Her strides shorten, muscles building up the strength necessary to propel them over the fences. One, two, one, two, three, four, the mare jumps the first vertical and one, two, effortlessly clears the second one.

The audience is applauding with every fence they jump, but Yuuri doesn’t notice. He’s focusing on the movements of Eros’s body underneath his as they turn sharply before a vertical to face the water spread. For this one, he allows the mare to stretch out her strides. She jumps before the small fence and elongates her body to clear the two meter wide spread.

Their next fence is a double line almost immediately after the water jump. They turn sharply before the wall of the arena, Yuuri pulling Eros back to a collected canter as quickly as he can. The first jump is a vertical and three strides later, they leap the oxar and continue forward around a jump to find the sixth fence.

It’s the first triple bar spread, each pole higher than the one before it. Yuuri takes hold of Eros’s martingale as she leaps the fence, seeming to pause mid-air over the center pole. She lands but stumbles, her rider immediately loosening her reins so that she can find her balance. Once her canter is steady, he regains his feel on her mouth and urges her forward once more. They turn around a vertical and head towards the next oxar. Yuuri is counting strides the second Eros lands on the other side of it; one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, three, four, five, he presses his heels into her sides and springs up into two-point position, holding it as the mare takes off over the next vertical and lands in under a second.

The ninth fence is another double line quickly after the eighth one. Yuuri’s legs and eyes guide Eros to it, his heels telling her to jump, and his seat urging her past it to the tenth fence, the final single vertical. This jump is hardly another canter stride.

A press of his calf and the mare turns to another diagonal spread. He gives her a slightly longer bit of rein, allowing her to stretch her strides forward a touch more. She eats up the ground underneath them as each fall of her hooves brings them closer to the penultimate jump. One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, three, Yuuri brings his seat back and his arms forward, lifting himself out of the saddle to balance in seeming mid-air over the mare’s back. Eros jumps with his movements, her strong legs catapulting them over the poles. Her back arches and front hooves hit the dirt, her rider beginning to sit back into the saddle. Before he can, he hears a soft thump that echoes in his chest.

Yuuri doesn’t have time to think about what that thud means, because he has to send Eros to the final triple. He wants to urge her to fly over the jumps as quickly as possible, consequences be damned, but he forces himself to hold her back before each fence. One, two, three, jump, one, two, jump, one, two, three, four, jump.

And with a final thud as Eros’s hooves hit the dirt, it’s over. Yuuri turns to look at the spread as he slows the mare to a walk. The third pole is missing from its rungs and now lies in the arena dirt below. Every other rail is exactly where it should be.

It’s over. It’s done. There’s no going back. Otabek and Beethoven have won Burghley, Chris has won the Events overall.

And Yuuri has come in second place in his first ever Classics.


	47. Victor's POV #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is stiff where he sits in the saddle, sipping from his water bottle with Lilia at his side. The coach looks up at him with concern and a hand on his leg the same way Victor does when he’s worried about his fiancé. She’s saying something to him to which Yuuri responds simply and seemingly dismissive, setting down his water bottle and trotting Eros back out onto the arena track.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you sexy things! Did you miss me? Sorry to keep you waiting, but I've been moving out of college and back into my house and everything has been a major hassle, so I won't bore you with the details.  
> Instead, I'd like to make an announcement; these final four chapters will not be the last you see of On Horseback! I've learned from writing this fic that chapters should be done long in advance and I'd like time to plan and prepare the mermaid fic I have in the works. To hold you over until then, I've decided to write a dozen or so extra chapters that talk about relationships and characters we didn't get to see much of in the main story and some extra, pre and post-fic content. I have a lot of ideas but I need to whittle it down, so if you have ideas or suggestions that you'd love to hear about, please comment and I shall take it into consideration. Thank you very much if you do so, I really appreciate it.  
> For now, enjoy, lovelies!

“Блядь…” Victor mutters, grasping at his chest as the dull ache he’s been feeling for weeks sparks into a blaring pain. He stumbles and leans against the hallway wall, waiting for it to subside.

“Vitya?!” Comes Yakov’s voice, laced with concern and fear.

“I’m fine,” he calls back, managing to straighten and support himself with the crutch once more. “Are you getting the meds?”

“Yes, I just can’t find the cupboard!”

“It’s to the left of the fridge,” Victor says as he hobbles into the living room where the TV is set to a coverage of Burghley. “How do you forget that every day?”

“You won’t remember anything as an old man either!”

“I’ve labelled everything in the apartment!”

There are bright orange post-it notes scattered around the rooms, informing the aging coach of what everything is so he doesn’t get confused. He gets confused regardless.

“Do you want an ice pack?”

“Yes, please!”

Victor struggles as he sits in Yuuri’s usual armchair, using the back of the seat to help support himself. He has to pause a few times and hiss at his pain, but he eventually falls back into the plush cushions and puts his feet up on the ottoman. The crutch he rests against the arm of the chair.

The Burghley coverage is set on the warm up arena, horses and their riders running circles around each other as they jump the practice fences. Yuuri isn’t hard to spot, his diamond-studded jacket telling everyone of his glorious presence. He’s trotting Eros around the arena, passing in the background as the camera focuses on Chris and Rapsodie as they jump an oxar, the announcer talking about the Classic rankings and how the Swiss rider is the most likely winner of this year’s events.

Yakov enters the living room with Victor’s medicine, an ice pack, and a glass of water. The rider thanks him as he takes the pills and rests the cold bundle on his aching chest, immediately relaxing at the feeling. Yakov sits on the couch beside him, and they both give the television their full attention.

“While Giacometti is the most likely winner,- the reporter’s voice says. “-many here today are cheering for Katsuki Yuuri, the current leader in Burghley’s rankings and runner up in the overall Classics. Giacometti had a refusal yesterday, putting him back to sixth place. If Katsuki makes no mistakes and his competitor stays out of the top five, the rooky eventer will win his very first FEI Classics, making him the first to do so.”

Victor doesn’t pay attention to the rest of what the reporter says. Upon saying Yuuri’s name, the camera cut to his fiancé and Eros, and he doesn’t care about anything else. It takes all of five seconds for him to know that something is wrong.

Yuuri is stiff where he sits in the saddle, sipping from his water bottle with Lilia at his side. The coach looks up at him with concern and a hand on his leg the same way Victor does when he’s worried about his fiancé. She’s saying something to him to which Yuuri responds simply and seemingly dismissive, setting down his water bottle and trotting Eros back out onto the arena track. Looking closely at him, it’s clear that his stirrups are too far behind the balls of his feet and his grip on his mare’s mouth is too taught and she tosses her head at it, demanding for the reins to be loosened.

The camera cuts away to Otabek, and Victor finds that he’s holding his breath. He exhales and begins freaking out.

“Did you see that?” He asks Yakov frantically. “Yuuri looked nervous.”

“Vitya, he’s always nervous before a competition,” the coach responds with an exasperated sigh. “He’s fine.”

“But he looked really shaken,” Victor shoots back. “I haven’t seen him like that since-” He cuts off, unable to finish.

_ Since I told him I wouldn’t marry him if he didn’t win. _

Victor’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see a text from Phichit:  _ There’s something up with Yuuri but he won’t talk about it. Could you try talking to him? _

He responds immediately,  _ I will. _

_ He seemed distracted and scared of something. He stopped after practicing the triple and hugged Eros for several minutes. _

The triple. Блядь.

The event begins a half hour later, and Victor texts Yuuri no less than twenty times, not getting a single response. He starts with simple ‘hello’s and ‘can we talk?’s which develop into more frantic requests for his fiancé to pick up the phone and tell him what’s going on.  _ Is it the triple? Did it remind you of the accident?  _ His final text reads,  _ I’m fine, my love, this jump shouldn’t scare you. Nothing bad will happen. You’re going to be amazing. _

At that point, all Victor can do is sit and watch the show jumping anxiously. He’s hardly aware of the majority older riders who go, only ever paying attention when one of his friends is in the arena.

Mickey and Emil and Otabek ride gorgeously, the rider holding his breath as he watches the Kazakhstani eventer and Beethoven flawlessly perform the course, wishing for him to make one simple mistake to lighten the pressure on Yuuri’s shoulders. Phichit and Terra are marvelous together, as is Georgi and Carabosse. Mila trots Sala into the arena after Sara has ridden, kissing her girlfriend as they pass each other. The pair makes only two mistakes, putting them solidly in third place. She could come third in the overall rankings. Then come Chris and Rapsodie. As much as he would never want any harm to come to his best friend, Victor almost finds himself praying for more and more poles to go down, but they do not. The Swiss rider is stable in sixth place, no way for him to go up or down in status.

Yakov changes the ice in Victor’s pack, coming back with one freshly cold and wrapped in a clean towel. He thanks his coach and rests the pack on his chest, relaxing once more as the returning pain subsides again. Yakov turns to sit down once more and as he does, the television reveals Yuuri trotting Eros into the arena.

Victor sits up so fast that he nearly begins crying with pain and Yakov has to force him back again, getting him a pillow to rest his head on for a better angle with which to watch his fiancé ride.

Yuuri is relaxed as he collects his mare before the first jump, position perfect as always and eyes focused ahead. Eros has enough rein to easily keep a forward pace and in several powerful strides, she jumps the first fence and the clock officially begins.

He won’t realize it until the mare lands after the last fence, but Victor’s hands are clenched tightly, his knuckles white and long nails digging into the flesh of his palms. Yuuri is calm and sitting straight as he ushers Eros around the arena to each jump, easing her over each fence and urging her past them. Victor counts her strides and whispers ‘now’ as Yuuri tells her to takeoff. He gasps out loud as Eros stumbles after the first triple bar spread, relaxing a bit as she takes the next fence perfectly. The next triple bar spread is when it happens. Eros’s strides are too long and she takes off too soon. Her hind legs clip the last pole and it goes down, hitting the dirt. Ten seconds later, the pair end the course. Yuuri looks back at the fences as he smiles, tears streaming down his cheeks and hands scratching up and down Eros’s neck.

Yakov jumps up and starts cheering, but all Victor can do is stare in awe and begin to cry himself. A year and a half of training and preparation has lead to this. Eros, the perfect eventer that came from nowhere. Yuuri, able to face his grief and move on. They pushed past all that held them back and made it here.

Second place in their first ever Classics.

Victor bites his lip as it trembles and he smiles to match his fiancé's a dozen countries away. “моя любовь…” he mutters into the back of his hand. “I’m so proud of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a little special tidbit, the mermaid fic is going to be called "On the Riptide of Glass Hearts".


	48. We've Only Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other young riders left in the arena come crowding around them. Mila gives him another hug, Georgi taking them both into his arms and squeezing hard. Sara takes Mila’s hand once he lets go of her. Mickey and Emil offer their congratulations, petting Eros and Rapsodie and calling them ‘good girls,’ which they really are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, beautifuls! Miss me? Probably not, it's only been a few days.  
> We've made it! The last chapter, holy shit! This has been an amazing few months and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read and everyone who left a comment or a kudo, you guys have been amazing. It was because of you all that I continued writing in the first place and you are the reason I will gladly be creating many more fics for all of you in the future. Thank you again.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!  
> ("But Emory!" I hear you say. "There are supposed to be two more chapters! This is chapter 48, there are supposed to be 50!" "Yes, my dears, I know." My smile slips into a sly grin. "Have you ever heard of an epilogue?") ;) <3

Lots of technical stuff has to happen before anyone can go home.

First, the awards for this specific event. Mila finished in third, both in Burghley and in the overall Classics. She, Otabek, and Yuuri accept their ribbons and trophies atop their horses, posing and smiling for the cameras that take dozens of photos. The rest of the top ten are awarded ribbons of varying sizes and colors. Yuuri takes over Victor’s job of crowning the winner, resting a wreath of purple roses over Otabek’s helmet. The Kazakhstani rider smiles at him when he straightens, walking Beethoven off towards the side of the arena. Yurio is waiting there for him, throwing his arms around the older boy’s neck and hugging him close. Yuuri feels a slight pang in his heart as he watches Otabek pull back only to lean forward again and kiss him.  Next, the awards for the overall Classics. Yuuri stands at Eros’s side as he, Chris, and Mila are handed their trophies and cash winnings. More photos are taken, the three of them hug - Chris bragging about how he now gets to marry him and Victor - and finally come the interviews.

Most of the journalists crowd around Chris, congratulating him on finally winning the Classics, but several do come up to Yuuri who takes several deep breaths to calm his nerves.

“Mr. Katsuki, congratulations on coming in second in your first ever Classics,” one woman says to him.

“Thank you.” He offers her a smile.

“Are you disappointed that you didn’t win?” Another chimes in.

Yuuri shakes his head. “Not at all. Chris and Otabek and everyone else have been working for years to get these titles, so I’m honored to even have made it into the top three. I never imagined I’d get here.”

“Who do you want to thank for this achievement?”

“Definitely my coaches, both in St. Petersburg and back in Japan. They helped me fall in love with riding and get this far and I’m very thankful for them.” Yuuri turns to scratch at Eros’s mane. She looks at him and nuzzles his shoulder. “I also have this beautiful girl to thank.”

“And Victor Nikiforov?”

Yuuri feels himself blushing. “Yes. Vitya too.”

“Will you two be returning to eventing together soon?”

“I’m not sure quite yet.”

“Are you nervous about competing against the greatest eventer in recent history?”

“I-”

“Are you afraid you won’t be able to compete well due to your emotional connection?”

Chris suddenly comes barging in, Rapsodie following him to block the reporters. “Hey, Yuuri! Congrats on second place!” He puts an arm around his competitor and herds him away from the crowd. “Apparently Vitenk’a has been worried about you since this morning.”

“Really?” Yuuri feels himself relax as they move towards the other riders left in the arena. “Thank you so much.” He says once they’re out of the reporters’ earshot.

“That’s what friends are for,” Chris winks at him.

The other young riders left in the arena come crowding around them. Mila gives him another hug, Georgi taking them both into his arms and squeezing hard. Sara takes Mila’s hand once he lets go of her. Mickey and Emil offer their congratulations, petting Eros and Rapsodie and calling them ‘good girls,’ which they really are. Yurio offers his congratulations as well, calling Yuuri by his name and not 'pig.'

“Guys!” Sara’s voice breaks through the ambiance. Everyone goes silent. “I have something I’d like to do inspired by the incredible Katsuki Yuuri.” She takes a deep breath and turns to her girlfriend, holding her hands tightly. “Mila, the last few years with you have been amazing. You’re so smart and funny and wonderful and I love every day that I get to spend with you. I honestly can’t imagine not having you in my life.” She reaches into the pocket of her breeches. “So much so, that I don’t want you to ever leave it.”

Phichit-kun squeals as she gets down on one knee in the arena dirt. Mila’s jaw drops as Sara holds up a little box and opens it to reveal a pair of glittering diamond rings. “Mila, will you marry me?”

She screams yes around happy tears. They all clap for the two as they put the rings on each other’s fingers and kiss around their giggles and smiles. Georgi hugs them both close, lifting them off the ground to their delighted screams. Everyone goes up to offer their congratulations. Yuuri stays back, twisting his own engagement ring around his finger.

 

The Russian team is on an early morning flight the next day. Mila sits curled up in her seat, napping with her head resting on Yuuri’s shoulder. Sara’s surprises didn’t stop at the engagement ring. She later pulled out a lease for an apartment in St. Petersburg not far from where Yuuri and Victor live. They’re set to move in in a month.

Yuuri spends the flight going through his phone and reading the texts Victor sent him. He was too busy warming up and getting ready to ride to check his phone, but his fiancé flooded his phone with messages of concern and support. He reads them over and over, smiling to himself and missing Victor even more.

The drive from the airport to the stable feels like an eternity. Yuuri wants to go home immediately, but he has to get his horse settled in her stall first. They arrive and head around to the trailers to get the horses out. Eros nuzzles at him when he steps through the side door to reach her. He pets her and then leans against her, pushing her backwards towards the open trailer door.

She backs up at his push, stepping carefully until they step into the parking lot where Mila and Georgi are already leading their horses towards the barn. Yuuri pauses to look at the stable around him. The huge pastures past the parking lot scattered with horses in fly masks, the riding arenas where the sweet Danish dressage champion and her beautiful gelding are practicing in the cool afternoon, and countless equestrians walking between everything with tack and equipment and barrels of manure and buckets of feed. Yuuri takes a deep breath of the crisp St. Petersburg air and smiles.

It’s good to be home.

Eros tugs at the lead rope and eagerly follows Sala and Carabosse, practically dragging Yuuri along with her. He chuckles as he picks up his pace to fall into step beside her. Once inside, the Russian riders congratulate their returning barn mates as they walk to their stalls. Some give Yuuri a pat on the shoulder or pet Eros, many more ask to see Mila’s engagement ring.

Once the three separate to go to their own stalls down different aisles, things get quieter. The other riders still give their congrats, but most are simple words or come from behind stall doors. Some of them give Yuuri pointed- no… sly looks from where they tend to their horses, as if they know something he doesn’t.

Yuuri leads Eros around the corner to the aisle that leads to her stall and stops short. Makkachin is in the cross-ties down the way, Yakov running a curry comb in circles over his fur. Victor stands besides the gelding’s head, petting his cheek as he leans on a crutch. The eventer looks up to Eros’s hoofbeats, eyes widening as they find Yuuri at her side. His hold on her lead rope tightens as his heart swells.

Victor moves first, adjusting his crutch so it holds him up as he jogs towards the winning pair. Yuuri collects himself moments later, making up for the pace his fiancé lacks and dragging Eros alongside him at a trot. It feels like his heart has grown thrice its usual size and is pounding against the inside of his chest and every beat makes his body tremble. Victor’s smile is so wide it makes Yuuri forget about wanting to cry at the sight of him wobbling down the aisle.

Ten seconds from when they started running, they have their arms around each other. Yuuri clings to Victor’s chest, burying himself in the dark safe haven of his embrace. His fiancé’s arms are almost painfully tight around his shoulders and he presses kiss after kiss into his hair, muttering sweet phrases in Russian.

Yuuri pulls back to look Victor in the eye, caressing his cheeks and nearly crying this time. “W-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

“I didn’t want to wait any longer to see you.” Victor brushes a strand of Yuuri’s hair behind his ear. “I missed you too much.”

Yuuri chuckles. “I missed you too.”

He buries himself into Victor’s chest again, snaking his arms around the eventer’s neck to pull him closer. Victor folds himself over Yuuri, encasing him in a sweet cave of warmth and his scent.  _ God,  _ Yuuri’s missed him… he’s been so worried… the knots in his muscles finally loosen as waves of relief flow over him.

_ He’s alright… he’s not in pain anymore… he’s healing… he’s okay… he’s okay… he’s missed him so much. _

Victor’s body shifts and Yuuri looks up to him. His fiancé is looking to his side at Eros who has wrapped her head over his shoulder and around his back, giving him as close to a hug as she can. They look to each other and smile.

“She finally likes me!” Victor says happily.

“I think it’s just because  _ I  _ like you,” Yuuri teases, leaning up to press their foreheads together.

“I like you too.”

Victor’s breath is warm and summer freckles are sprinkled across his face and his blue eyes are more beautiful than they’ve ever been. He closes those eyes and presses himself closer to Yuuri, tears slipping silently down his cheeks.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He wipes the wet tracks away, leaving his hands on his fiancé’s face to rub his thumbs back and forth across his skin.

“Nothing, I just…” Victor chuckles around a soft sob, covering Yuuri’s hands with his own. “I’m so proud of you. Second place in your first…  _ ever  _ Classics. Th-that’s incredible, I still can’t believe it.”

Eros presses her muzzle into his hair, nuzzling and nibbling at him. Yuuri laughs as Victor pouts, pushing her face away and running his fingers through his fiancé’s silvery locks. “I didn’t do it alone. I had  _ this _ big baby to help me. And I had you too.”

Victor smiles wide and pulls him close. Yuuri leans up to let their lips meet and melts into the warmth of his fiancé. The familiar salty, sweet, and soft taste of his mouth brings him back to their first kiss forever ago, before all these crazy and wonderful things started happening. They break away to grin at each other like idiots. The Danish dressage rider and her horse - having just entered the aisle - smile at them out of the corner of Yuuri’s eye.

“What now?” Victor asks.

Yuuri bites his bottom lip as he thinks. “Should we…” He feels himself going pink. “… get married now?”

Victor nods rapidly, hugging him close. “Absolutely.”

***

My biggest thank you has to go to Saferion who has become a dear friend ever since she started reading. She's done such wonderful art for this fic and has been a huge inspiration and I love her a whole bunch. Please go give her all the love on Tumblr. Her and her amazing horse Waldi are an amazing pair and do fantastic photoshoots, it's honestly the cutest thing ever. (Also she's really pretty, but you didn't hear that from my gay ass)

They chase titans in their spare time

Waldi is a modeling master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's subtitle is "Find Saferion and Waldi." Can you spot them?  
> (Love you, tiny Satan! <3)


	49. Epilogue #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor takes it and Yuuri recognizes it immediately. It’s a white omamori, larger than usual. A beautiful pattern of flowers - pink and blue - decorates the silk. Yuuri runs his fingers over the stitching, smiling up at his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT UP, BITCHES? Miss me?!  
> I'm sorry it's been so long, lots of stuff has been happening and I haven't had enough time to give this chapter everything that it deserves. But, it's finally here! Our Victor and Yuuri are getting married!  
> The final epilogue will go up within a week and I'll have more info for you guys about the extra chapters then.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Twenty six years and he’s still being forcibly woken up by the sunlight streaming through his eastern facing window. Yuuri rolls over into the shadows, landing on a dip in the mattress that’s still warm from the body that slept next to him. He grins and buries his nose into the crinkled sheets that Victor has left his sweet scent on. After a moment, he reaches for his glasses on the bedside table and takes a look around the room.

Yuuri lies in his bed at Yu-topia, his and Victor’s clothes scattered across the floor and their luggage set in the corner by the closet. The door to the closet is open and inside, hung separate from the rest of the clothes, are a pair of suits; one simple and white, the other multi-pieced and a coffee black. On the shelf next to the closet rest a pink and blue tie, both neatly folded. On top of them, two boutonnieres of matching colors are set. Yuuri sits bolt upright in bed when the realization hits him.

He’s getting married today.

He’s getting married to  _ Victor Nikiforov  _ today.

Yuuri falls back down onto the mattress, curling into himself as his mind races. Eight year world eventing champion,  _ Olympian  _ Victor Nikiforov is going to willingly bond himself to the Japanese rider for the rest of their lives. By some amazing turn of events or design of fate, the man that Yuuri idolized and adored for years has  _ fallen in love with him  _ and is going to say ‘yes’ to spending the rest of their days together.

He starts giggling like a madman, covering his mouth with a fist. How does that fact still amaze him after three and a half years? Victor brings Yuuri coffee every morning and drools onto his pillow in his sleep and spends too much money on anything and everything and sometimes burns toast and still doesn’t understand the idea of Halloween and talks to his horse and yet… Yuuri’s still amazed by him every day.

Speak of the devil, the door to the bedroom creaks open and reveals Victor in his boxers, holding two cups of coffee. He smiles widely when his eyes meet his groom’s. “Good morning, моя любовь.” He sets the mugs on the bedside table as the door closes, kneeling down to be level with Yuuri’s face. “Sleep well?”

He nods as his grin widens. “We’re getting married today,” he says against his knuckles.

Victor giggles, matching his groom’s smile. “We are.” He leans his face close to Yuuri’s. “Are you excited?”

Yuuri presses his lips to the tip of his lover’s nose. “Very.”

Victor jumps up onto the bed, straddling his groom’s waist and leaning down to kiss him. The press of their lips dissolves into happy laughter, Yuuri wrapping his arms around his groom as the eventer giggles against his chest. Victor peppers kisses against the other rider’s neck before blowing several zerberts into his skin. Yuuri dissolves into hysterics and struggles under the weight of his groom on his chest.

“Stop it!” Yuuri shrieks, using all his strength to flip Victor onto his back and loom above him. He grabs his groom’s wrists and holds them down on the mattress, assaulting him with zerberts of his own that have the eventer wriggling and giggling under him.

“Okay,  _ okay! _ ” Victor squeals between his fits of laughter. “I’m sorry! I surrender!”

Yuuri stops his assault of his groom’s neck, letting his wrists go to caress his cheeks. Victor accepts his kisses with a smile, opening up at his request and humming against his tongue. After a minute or two, Yuuri pulls back to meet the eventer’s eyes.

“Can we have our coffee now?” Victor asks.

Yuuri rolls off of him with a laugh, still chuckling as he sits back against the pillows and accepts the cup from his groom. Victor sits beside him, their hips pressed together as they sip their drinks.

It’s almost a year after the Rio Olympics, the eventer’s ribs long since healed. Neither of them competed in this past year’s Classics, opting for the Longines Grand Prix and some National competitions throughout the year. They were able to work it out, wedding photoshoots helping to keep them financially stable while Phichit-kun and Mama Katsuki planned their ceremony.

Those two helped immensely when it came to knowing where to buy stuff and how to put it all together for Victor and Yuuri’s request of a simple ceremony. Both his best friend and mother wanted sole control over the planning and had come to a head in a heated discourse over it. They came to a compromise, but Yuuri will never look at either of them the same way ever again. The things said that day… 

Yuuri scratches at the lip of his mug with a fingernail.

“You nervous?” He looks to Victor, the eventer’s eyes worried.

“No, not at all,” Yuuri shrugs, lacing his voice with enough sarcasm to be poisonous. “I’ll just be bearing my heart and soul to several dozen people and performing lots of precise ceremonies that I better not screw up or else said people will look down upon me and consider our marriage cursed to fail.”

Victor blinks at him.

Yuuri makes a face. “Sorry.” He looks down at his mug. “Ceremonies always make me worried.”

“You were wonderful at the rehearsal yesterday.” Victor’s fingers come under his chin and turn his head so their eyes meet. “Just focus on m-”

His words are cut off as the bedroom door bangs open violently enough to scare Yuuri and make him jump. Thankfully, he’s drunk all his coffee, so he doesn’t splash it on his groom’s face. Phichit-kun comes barging into the room already in his suit, followed closely by Chris and the triplets. The three little girls jump up onto the bed, smothering the grooms and taking pictures.

“Get up, both of you!” Phichit-kun demands. “Breakfast is ready and we have a busy schedule. You should have gotten up by now!”

Yuuri and his groom look at him with annoyance. “We can’t have five minutes alone?”

“You’ve had  _ ten minutes  _ alone!” Phichit-kun near screams. “You two don’t need to be canoodling before the ceremony!”

“We weren’t-”

“I’ll give you two minutes to be in the dining room,” Phichit-kun interrupts him. Chris helps him herd the girls out of the bedroom. “And don’t be late!”

The door closes with a slam and Yuuri and Victor share a groan. “And I thought we were gonna have a nice, relaxing day,” the eventer says as he forces himself away from the other rider’s side.

“Welcome to my life in college,” Yuuri chuckles as he joins Victor in putting on plain clothes. “Phichit-kun is the most punctual person I know.”

“More so than me?” Victor asks.

Yuuri hums as he thinks. “It’s a tie.”

“Good.” Victor adjusts his shirt and holds out his hand. “You ready?”

Yuuri smiles and laces his fingers through his groom’s. “Yeah.”

They walk hand in hand out of the bedroom and down the hall to where everyone is already seated around the table. Mama Katsuki and Phichit-kun sit at one end, flipping through The Binder. Chris sits amidst the triplets, no doubt telling them wild stories that have them enraptured while Sam sits beside him. Mila, Sara, Mari, and Minako-sensei are going over how they’re going to do their hair, and Yurio and Otabek eat from the large plate of piroshky in the center of the table, the Russian boy smiling at his partner as he devours a pastry.

“Finally!” Phichit-kun exclaims as he notices Yuuri and Victor in the doorway. “The stars of the day have decided to join us.”

Mama Katsuki gets up to hug her son and future son-in-law. “Sit down and eat. Yurio helped me make these; they’re delicious.”

They do, taking the last open place in the corner of the table. Victor gets him and Yuuri a piroshky, starting to eat and unable to talk because Phichit-kun begins drilling them about the schedule.

“Okay, everyone will start arriving around three thirty, and the ceremony will begin an hour later. We’ll be getting everything ready beforehand.” He points at the grooms. “You both will be getting Eros and Makka ready for your ride down to the beach. We will be doing everything else.”

“Are you sure?” Yuuri asks. “We could help more-”

“No, the setup is a surprise.”

“We’ve helped you make all the decorations, we know what it’s gonna look like,” Victor points out.

“Well, you both have to get dressed,” Mama Katsuki chimes in. “And then there’s the sake ceremony.”

“Oh, right,” Yuuri says, taking another bite of his piroshky.

_ San san kudo  _ is a Japanese wedding tradition. The ceremony consists of the couple getting married and their parents sipping sake three times from three different stacked sake cups. The sake is poured into the cups three times, hence the name “three, three, nine times.” The three cups represent something different for each person that performs it. Some consider each one to represent heaven, earth, and mankind, others think they represent either the three humans flaws or the three virtues that grow over the course of a marriage. Yuuri’s parents believed that heaven, earth, and mankind each meant something specific so he and Victor will follow those beliefs.

“For that, it’ll just be you two, your father and I, and Victor’s guardians,” Mama Katsuki explains. “Mari will pour the sake for us. You did just want immediate family, right?”

Yuuri nods. “Yeah.”

“We want this to be just for us,” Victor adds, taking his groom’s hand.

“Right,” Phichit-kun chimes in. “So, we’ll get the ceremony and reception set up while you do so. You two will then ride down to the beach where we will all be waiting for you. You’ll walk down the aisle, Chris will go through the script and you’ll say your vows, and then we’ll do pictures on the beach before going back up to the reception.”

Phichit-kun keeps talking, but Yuuri’s mind has wandered elsewhere.

For the past few months that they’ve been planning everything, Yuuri and Victor have given their approval for certain layouts and ideas that Phichit-kun and Mama Katsuki brought to the table such as the sake ceremony and riding down to the beach. They also helped make all the decorations for the reception and ceremony, but mostly they worked on their vows separately and intensely. Yuuri hasn’t worked on anything like he has these vows ever before. He would ride Eros out to the overlook and sit facing the ocean, thinking about what he could possibly say to sum up his relationship with Victor. He asked Vicchan and Niki, said what he began writing out to Eros, but none of it ever felt right. Even now, he’s not positive that he’ll be saying everything he wants to.

But that’s not what’s worrying him. What worries Yuuri is that he has to say those vows - those deeply personal and exposing vows - in front of two dozen people. If Phichit-kun had his way, it would be three times as many. How on earth is he going to be able to bare his soul in front of that many people… if he can even keep his voice level the whole time. Yuuri’ll go bright red and trip over his words within seconds, he knows he will.

Oh, why did they agree to do this?

“Alright,” Phichit-kun’s voice breaks Yuuri’s train of thought. “Finish your food as quick as possible. We have a lot to do before three.”

Yuuri takes one more piroshky for the road, complimenting Yurio and his mother on his way out. He and Victor put their paddock boots on and head down to the stable hand in hand. He wonders if his groom can feel how hard his heart beats through his skin.

They put Eros and Makkachin in the cross ties and get their grooming supplies as well as the baskets of pink and blue roses that they left in the tack room overnight. They didn’t want the hassle of having actual floral arrangements for anything, so they ordered a shit ton of blue and pink roses, some fake but mostly real. The fake ones are for the horses and the real ones will have their petals ripped off and sprinkled up and down the aisle and on the reception tables.

They start by taking extra time to wash and groom their horses before parting their manes and beginning to braid each piece. The roses will go in the center of each braid, and they’ve added special decals to their bridles to go over the horses’ heads. The grooms talk while they work, eventually lulling into an easy silence as they braid and pin the fake roses in place, the only noises coming from the wedding party preparing the reception and ceremony outside.

The silence allows Yuuri’s mind to wander and within seconds he’s thinking about the small crowd that will soon be seated on the beach. They’ll listen to Chris talk about love and then he and Victor will talk about their relationship in the most personal way possible. It’s much too late to back out now and he’s too excited for what will come after to even think about suggesting it. He just has to get through this one stressful thing before endless bliss.

Once Eros and Makka have their manes and tails braided and filled with flowers, Yuuri and Victor go back to the house where everyone is eating lunch. They have a quick bite before Phichit-kun ushers them towards the bedroom to get dressed. The grooms take turns showering and then start getting into their suits.

They can hear Phichit-kun’s voice above all of the other noises from outside as their friends and family continue to set up the venues. The yells have Yuuri constantly twitching as he tucks in his shirt. His hands tremble as they do up the buttons and the collar feels impossibly tight around his throat. Of course, Victor notices, stepping close to his groom with concern written all over his face.

“моя любовь, what’s wrong?” Victor’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder. “You’re so tense.”

“I’m just nervous,” Yuuri tries to shrug him off. “You know I always get nervous.”

Victor’s fingertips squeeze into the muscles of his shoulders. “I do, it’s just that I’m nervous too.”

Yuuri turns to face his groom, eyebrows furrowing. “You are?”

“Of course,” Victor chuckles. “It’s my wedding day, I’ve been nervous about this ever since I was a kid.” He brushes a strand of Yuuri’s hair behind his ear. “I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I was just lying there, thinking about what I would be saying to you and in front of what people and what would be happening afterwards and I just… I lost my mind thinking about it. I hardly remember falling asleep…” He takes his groom’s hand. “When I woke up, it took me extra long to get out of bed. I couldn’t stop staring at your calm, sweet sleeping face that I knew would be twisted with anxiety soon. And then I thought, ‘what if I just focus on him? What if I listen to the waves and Chris’s voice and look only at Yuuri?’” Victor smiles at him. “So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to imagine that we’re the only people for miles and that I can bare my soul all I want because Chris already knows everything I’m going to say.”

Yuuri giggles, returning Victor’s smile. “Do you think that’ll work?”

His groom shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just what I’m going to try. Is there anything I can do to help you now?”

Yuuri thinks a moment. “Will you brush my hair?”

Victor smiles and nods, guiding him over to sit on the edge of the bed while he gets the comb they leave in the bedside drawer. Once his groom settles beside him and starts running the brush through his hair, Yuuri begins to calm down. The pull of Victor’s soft strokes eases the tension in his muscles.

“Will you run me through the sake ceremony again?” His groom asks.

“Of course, Vitya,” Yuuri responds. “It’ll be silent unless Mari decides to say a few words. She’ll pour the sake into each cup and you, me, my mother and father, Yakov, and Lilia will drink from it. We do that with the three different cups and then our two families will be joined.”

“Why three specifically?” Victor asks, parting Yuuri’s hair and starting to style it.

“Well, with each person sipping from three cup three times, it perfectly makes nine six times,” he explains. “And nine is a lucky number in Japan. That’s what the name of the ceremony -  _ san san kudo  _ \- means. ‘Three, three, nine times.’ Three can also not be divided in two evenly, which makes it a lucky number for weddings.”

“Ohh, I like it.” Yuuri can hear the smile in Victor’s voice.

His groom has him talk about other Japanese good and bad luck charms as they continue getting dressed, eventually having him explain the entire history of omamori. Yuuri’s interrupted by a knock at the door as Victor adjusts the boutonniere pinned to his lapel.

Mari cracks the door open. “We’re ready when you are.”

Yuuri’s heart picks up its pace. Victor smiles at his future sister-in-law. “We’ll be out in a moment.”

She nods and closes the door with a soft click.

Victor rubs his hands up and down Yuuri’s shoulders, telling him in a soft voice to breathe and relax which he does. His heart settles and he leans forward against his groom’s chest. He kisses up and down Yuuri’s cheek, arms snaking around his waist.

“Do you want one of your anxiety pills?” Victor asks against his ear.

Yuuri shakes his head against his groom’s shoulder. “I already took one. I’m just going to focus on you. That’s all I’ll need.”

They share a few quick, chaste kisses before joining hands and walking out the door together.

Yuuri’s parents, Lilia, Yakov, and Mari are waiting for them around the table when they enter the room. His older sister gestures for them to sit across from her and they do. In the center of the table are three sake cups stacked together beside a pot. Mama Katsuki reaches over and gives Yuuri’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before Mari begins.

His older sister takes the cup at the top and hands it to Victor who holds it up with both hands. She picks up the pot and tilts its spout one, two, three times and lets the sake fill the cup. Victor holds it to his lips and once, twice, thrice sips the drink and swallows. Next, Mari hands the cup to Yuuri and pours the sake. He closes his eyes as he drinks. This first cup is for the heavens, an honor to ancestors and those that came before them. He spares a thought, a thanks to the forces that laid out the path that brought he and Victor together.

Yuuri hands the cup back to Mari and watches it make its way around to the other pairs at the table. 

His older sister the sets aside the first cup in favor of the next in the stack. Yuuri watches Victor hold and drink from the second cup, meant to symbolize the earth and an a promise for the couple to care for each other. He watches the tilt of his groom’s head and the slight curl of his hair and he knows like so many times before that he’d do anything for him. This person with blue eyes and silver hair and the most wonderful mind hidden between them, hidden by them… there’s nothing that could keep Yuuri from caring for him.

Finally, Mari sets aside the cup of the earth and takes up the cup of mankind. This is meant to represent a wish for fertility for the marrying couple.

When he first heard this, Victor had laughed. He had leaned over to his fiancé and whispered, “But… but we can’t have children…”

Yuuri had taken a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “Yes, but this is an important tradition in my culture and I want to do it for our wedding.”

For them, the mankind cup symbolizes the simple wish for them to be successful parents if they decide to adopt. Victor looks to his groom and smiles as he sips from the cup. Yuuri matches that smile. How wonderful would it be to have little Victors running around their apartment? Teaching them to ride, watching them win their first show, buying them their first horse… maybe one day. The mankind cup makes rounds the table and Mari sets it aside with the others.

“Yuuri.” He looks up to his older sister. Her eyes are soft and full of pride. She turns to her brother’s groom. “Victor. I wish you both the happiest of marriages.” Mari reaches under the table and hands something across it to them.

Victor takes it and Yuuri recognizes it immediately. It’s a white omamori, larger than usual. A beautiful pattern of flowers - pink and blue - decorates the silk. Yuuri runs his fingers over the stitching, smiling up at his sister.

“What kind of omamori is it?” Victor asks.

“It’s for love in marriages,” Yuuri explains. He rises and walks over to hug Mari. “Thank you.”

Her arms tighten around him. “You’re welcome.”

They all head outside and - right on schedule - Phichit-kun and Mila have Eros and Makkachin bridled and waiting by the door. Mari gives a quick hug to her fellow maid of honor. Because Chris is the ‘minister’ and Phichit-kun is one of the planners  _ and  _ photographer, they went with their second choice for best men of the two most important young ladies in their lives.

Yuuri and Victor ride their horses while their friends and family walk beside them on their way to the beach where the rest of the wedding party is waiting. The grooms reach out to hold hands as Makka and Eros walk side by side. They enter the trails and it doesn’t take long for Yuuri to notice the decorations.

Hanging from the trees on long strings are laminated photographs, some at a rider’s level and others closer to the ground. He grabs one as Eros walks by and gasps as he sees what it is. It’s a simple selfie of him and Victor at Yu-topia. It wasn’t taken long after they first started dating. They’re both sweaty from a long day of training and covered in dust and fur, but they smile widely at the camera.

Yuuri looks across the way to Victor who has a picture of his own in his hand. Their eyes meet and he knows his groom feels just as elated as he does. The pictures continue down the trail in relative chronological order, starting in their days of dating in Japan and then moving to St. Petersburg. That summer of training before the Classics, then Paris and the engagement. Their wins and fights and celebrations and separations and wedding plans all culminating in a picture taken on the beach a week ago. It’s blown up to poster size and hung at the entrance to the trail to the cove. Yuuri and Victor hold hands in the photo, walking through the waves and smiling at each other as the sun sets behind them. Beneath the poster is a sign that reads, “The wedding of Yuuri and Victor this way.”

Yuuri looks down to Phichit-kun at Eros’s side, a sly smile on his best friend’s face. “How did you do all this?”

“We planned it for a while,” his friend begins as they start down the trail towards the beach. “The pictures all came from Instagram; yours, Victor’s, Chris’s, mine, and some other friends’. We just printed them out and laminated them.”

“How on earth did you get them on the trees?”

“Lots of patience.”

A moment later, the trees fade away and the cove appears before them. Simple folding chairs are laid out across the stretch of beach, only about fifteen on either side of the aisle. Pink and blue flower petals are scattered across the crude aisle, plain white ribbon roping the rows off on the inside. The rest of their friends sit in the seats, those at the front reserved for their parents and Phichit-kun. Minako-sensei, Takeshi, and the other young riders from Russia and the Classics are here as well as Minami-kun, Seung-gil, and their coaches. At the head of the aisle stands Chris on his apple box, patiently awaiting his friends. The triplets wait in the sand for them, Yuuko keeping them from getting their dresses dirty. The four of them perk up as the horses and those walking beside them draw close.

“Okay,” Phichit-kun motions for everyone to crowd around him and listen as he talks in a hushed voice. “Just like we practiced yesterday. You precious little girls will go first. All you have to do is toss the flowers around and then sit with your dad, okay?” He continues after the triplets give him an affirmative. “Then will be our lovely ladies of honor. You know where to stand? Excellent. Finally, the Katsukis will hold Eros’s reins and walk her to the head of the aisle, as will Victor’s guardians with Makkachin. You two will dismount, walk the rest of the way to the ‘altar’, and then the ceremony will begin. Everybody ready? Alright, let’s go.”

Phichit-kun and Yuuko quickly jog out to take their seats, Yuuri’s best friend readying his camera. Music starts up from who knows where and those seated rise, turning to where the trail opens onto the beach. The triplets skip out to the aisle with their baskets of flower petals, tossing the white roses along the walkway. Once they’re seated, Mari and Mila walk out, elegant in their white dresses. Sara takes pictures of her fiancée as she walks and takes her place at the altar.

Yuuri’s father reaches up and squeezes his son’s hand. He smiles down at him. Then, with Eros and Makkachin’s reins in hands, the four guardians walk out with their boys and their horses. Their friends smile and cry as they watch the eight of them walk towards the aisle across the sand. Yuuri nearly breaks down right then, but he swallows the happy sob and sits up straight. The horses are stopped at the head of the aisle where a chair just for their reins awaits. Mama Katsuki has her arms open and ready for a hug when Yuuri slides off of Eros’s back. He holds her tight and chuckles when his dad joins the embrace.

They let go and he turns to see Yakov clinging to Victor. Yuuri waits for his groom to be freed, grinning wide once he is. They take hands and begin down the aisle, going faster than Phichit-kun instructed them to. They reach the altar and Chris has the biggest smile of anyone in the party. The music stops and their minister speaks.

“You may all be seated.” There’s a rustling as the congregation does. “Thank you for coming today. It’s so wonderful to see so many friends here to witness and celebrate the wedding of Victor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri. My name is Christophe Giacometti, you may know me as the most recent victor of the FEI Classics and it is because of that win that I have the honor to officiate the wedding of two of my closest friends.” Yuuri rolls his eyes.

“As per tradition, I must ask that if anyone objects to these two being wed, please keep it to yourself.” The congregation laughs. “No one cares, they’re getting married no matter what your opinion may be.” There’s a quiet rustling from behind them and a grumble that sounds awfully Canadian.

“Victor and Yuuri met just over three years ago here at Yu-topia Stable,” Chris continues. “Since then, their relationship has blossomed into something everyone around them would call ‘perfect’. But they know it hasn’t been. There have been many trials and tribulations that they have had to face, but the important part is that they faced them together and triumphed.” Victor squeezes Yuuri’s hand.

Chris reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a folded up piece of paper. “I was asked to do a reading, and I believe that what I’ve chosen captures the essence of Victor and Yuuri’s relationship.” He unfolds the paper and begins. “‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.’” He pauses, looking up to the congregation. “‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.’

“To me, Yuuri and Victor are the embodiment of this kind of love. They are kind and patient and supportive of each other. They hate being separated, but endure when they need to be. And when they are reunited, you’d swear you had never seen happier people. No matter what they’re going through, they will find a way to overcome it together. They always apologize, always trust in each other, and above all; they love each other.” Chris finally looks down to the grooms. “You will now say your vows. Turn to each other and hold hands.”

Yuuri’s heart leaps into fast motion, sending blood rushing through his veins as he faces his groom and lets their hands lock. All the words he wrote and rewrote and practiced leave his mind when he sees the sweet smile on Victor’s face. His eyes are softer than they’ve ever been; his entire expression just emits pure bliss. Yuuri can’t help but stare into those endless blue eyes and wonder what he ever did to make the most amazing man in the world look at him like this.

“Victor, you may go first.”

Yuuri’s groom takes a big breath before beginning. “моя любовь, I don’t know if I’ll ever have enough time to say everything that I want to, and I definitely won’t be able to within the few minutes Phichit scheduled into the program for the vows-” Yuuri chuckles. “-but I’m going to try anyway.

“You know what my life was like before coming to Yu-topia and meeting you and your amazing family, but I’ve never told you just  _ how much  _ you made my life better. There were days when training was so taxing that I’d collapse the moment I got home, and it wasn’t much easier for Makkachin. When we came here, it was immediately clear as to how it was helping us. I was sleeping better than I had in years and Makka was happier than I’d ever seen him. But while the sleep and food and relaxing were amazing, there was nothing better than spending time with you.

“I hadn’t dated anyone in years, but I’d never wanted to be with someone as much as I did you. You made me smile and laugh, but above all, you cared about me. You made sure I went to bed on time and that I always ate enough. You were willing to listen whenever I needed to talk and noticed when something was wrong even if I didn’t say anything. You were open and honest and caring and you’re now more so than ever.

“Yuuri, ever since the first night we met, you’ve been bringing more love and life into my world than anyone ever has.” There are tears welling up in Victor’s glorious blue eyes. “Eventing had become my prison and you turned it back into the love of my life that it had been while I was growing up. More importantly, you gave me something to live for that wasn’t an image to uphold. You gave me morning coffee and evening couch cuddles and weekend rides through the orchard to look forward to, and I can’t wait to look forward to that and much more for the rest of my life.”

Yuuri covers his mouth with a fist to try and keep down the sobs caught in his throat. Victor has let a few tears slip from his eyes and he reaches out to brush them from his groom’s cheeks before taking his hands again.

“Yuuri,” Chris says. “You may say your vows.”

He takes a deep breath, meeting Victor’s excited and expecting eyes. “Vitya, I honestly don’t think I’m gonna be able to top that.” His groom and the wedding party laugh. “Horses and riding had been my life ever since I was little. The only reason I started taking lessons so early was because I begged my parents ever since I could talk. Despite those years of adoring being in the saddle, nothing made me fall in love with riding more than seeing you compete. You and Makkachin were so amazing… I never wanted to anything else since I first saw you ride. Eventing became my life. Then came Vicchan and me shamelessly naming him after you and everything was perfect for a while.

“… then he died. I thought my dreams were over, that I’d never be able to catch up to you as an eventer. I couldn’t ever imagine competing with another horse and in the middle of that crisis, you showed up with Makkachin in his stall. I had no idea how to react. Then we started spending time together and things got easier, but I still wasn’t ready to let Vicchan go. But you helped me move on. You were patient and listened and helped bring Eros into my life.

“You continued to help me reach my dreams and I fell more and more in love with you. Through Nationals and moving to St. Petersburg and the Classics, you were patient and understanding. Even when I kept my emotions to myself and hid how hurt I was, you were never angry when I eventually did tell you. You listened and helped me do what I needed to do, even when it meant that you’d be alone for a few weeks. I knew that I couldn’t let that go. I couldn’t let go of the first person who tried to understand and met me wherever I was. You learned and adapted because you cared about me, and I’d never felt something quite like it before.

“Thank you for everything. Thank you for opening up and accepting me for everything that I am. Thank you for giving yourself to me. Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t. Thank you for understanding and caring for me whenever I was upset. But most of all, thank you for showing me love so I could give mine to you.

Yuuri takes another deep breath. “Victor, you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to hold on to, and I’m never going to stop fighting to keep you in my life for as long as I live.”

His groom’s tears are flowing like rivers down his cheeks, catching in the crinkling of his eyes as he smiles. They take a moment to hold each other close and the wedding party applauds.

“I’m never going to let you live down naming your horse after me,” Victor murmurs in his ear.

Yuuri giggles, wrapping his arms tighter around his groom.

Chris clears his throat and they step apart. “Victor, Yuuri, I ask that you take the greatest care in maintaining this marriage the way that you have with your relationship thus far. The hardships that will inevitably shake your love at its very core must never cause that foundation to break. The decisions you may make, you must make together and your support of each other should never waver. When those difficulties come, let your love and devotion be the bright guiding point that helps you through them. Follow these promises and your life together will be marked by abundance and happiness.

“Do you have your rings?” Yuuri and Victor nod, reaching into their pockets. They each went out and bought rings for the other separately. They don’t know what their rings are going to look like. “Victor, take Yuuri’s hand.” He does, fingers brushing over the gold engagement band. “Slide the ring onto his finger halfway and repeat after me. ‘I, Victor Nikiforov - take you, Katsuki Yuuri - to be my husband. - To have and to hold - in sickness and in health - for richer or for poorer - in joy and sorrow - and I promise my love to you. - And with this ring - I take you as my husband, for as long as we both shall live.’ You may put the ring on his finger all the way.”

Victor pushes the wedding ring up against the engagement one, finally letting go so Yuuri can see it. The band is a little thicker than the one he proposed with and has a phrase in Russian engraved into the gold that he recognizes immediately:  _ моя любовь. _

“Yuuri, take Victor’s hand.” He does. “Put the ring halfway onto his finger and repeat after me. ‘I, Katsuki Yuuri - take you, Victor Nikiforov - to be my husband. - To have and to hold - in sickness and in health - for richer or for poorer - in joy and sorrow - and I promise my love to you. - And with this ring - I take you as my husband, for as long as we both shall live.’ You may put the ring on his finger all the way.”

Yuuri does, settling it snug against the engagement ring and lets go to see the band he picked out. It’s gold and encrusted with small square diamonds around the outside.

“Love is what makes every relationship thrive, and it is the core of why you are standing here today, pledging yourselves to each other,” Chris begins the final section of the program. “It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other. It will take dedication, to stay open to one another - and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today. I know you will do these things and everything else you must to stay together. I have never seen a love such as this and I am proud to be the one to wed you both.

“Now,” Chris raises his voice so his triumphant tone is heard by all. “By the power vested in me by the website WorldMarriageMinistries.org, I now pronounce you husbands! You may kiss your groom.”

Yuuri goes red and takes a deep breath but he doesn't have time to exhale before he’s forced to lean forward as Victor takes his face in his hands and brings their mouths together. His heart swells as the wedding party erupts into cheers and music begins up from somewhere. He relaxes into the kiss, throwing his arms around his husband to draw him closer. They pull away to look at each other, both bursting into laughter and tears.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Chris shouts over the cheers. “For the very first time, I present to you Mr. and Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov!”

They take hands and turn to the wedding party. Everyone is on their feet and applauding, many in tears of their own. Before Victor and Yuuri can even begin back down the aisle, their friends and families have left their seats to run up and congratulate them. Mama Katsuki and her husband embrace their son, the triplets clinging to his legs. He shakes so many hands and hugs so many people; Seung Gil and Min-soo and Minami-kun and Kanako and Yuuko and Takeshi and Mickey and Emil and Otabek and Georgi and  _ Yurio _ of all people. There’s such a frenzy that Yuuri doesn’t realize he’s been separated from his husband until Phichit-kun’s voice rings out to silence everyone.

“Hello, wedding party!” His best friend says from atop one of the front row chairs. “Everyone who is not one of the grooms must head back up the trail to the reception! Victor, Yuuri; we’re doing pictures now.”

Phichit-kun jumps down from the chair and Yuuri heads towards him. Victor meets him and they take hands once more, staring at each other completely enchanted.

“Hi, Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov,” Yuuri says after a moment of silent.

Victor giggles and steps closer, bringing their noses together. “Hello, Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov.”

They have their arms around each other seconds later. Yuuri snakes his arms tight around his husband’s waist while Victor buries his nose into the crook of his husband’s neck.

“Alright, love birds,” Phichit-kun’s voice cuts in. “Let’s head down to the water.”

They spend the next three quarters of an hour taking pictures in every different position Phichit can come up with. They stand, walk, run, and splash each other in the surf. They get on their horses and hold hands, race each other down the beach, and Yuuri nearly falls off from Eros excitedly galloping into the water. They end by sitting on Makkachin together, Yuuri holding Victor from behind.

The newlyweds are tired, sweaty, and hungry by the time Phichit-kun finally says that they’re done. Yuuri mounts Eros once more and he and Victor ride back up the trail together, his best friend lagging behind. They put the horses away in their stalls, taking off their bridles and beginning to undo the braids until Yuuri’s best friend herds them towards the reception.

The sun has begun setting behind the mountains as the three of them walk to the largest of the paddocks. Mama Katsuki suggested that they hold the reception in the grassy area and it was immediately agreed upon.

The fence of the paddock is wrapped in fairy lights, sending a warm glow across the grounds. Just past the gate is a semicircle of tables set with white table cloths and a scattering of rose petals across the tops. Two on either end of the semicircle are set up with large bowls and platters of food. Across a space for a dance floor is a long table setup with DJ equipment that Otabek brought with him. Tall posts have been set around the outside of the tables, strings of warm, bright lights strung between them.

Victor, Yuuri, and Phichit-kun enter the paddock and the wedding party stands to greet them, applauding as the couple walks to the head table and sits between their guardians. The next hour as the sun sets is devoted to dinner. The two tables at either end of the semicircle are buffets set with food from both Japan and Russia. Yurio and Mama Katsuki spent all day yesterday in the kitchen preparing all the food. They eat and talk and laugh, walking around to the other tables to see their friends. Sara and Mila start talking them up about weekend wine nights at their apartments, Yurio reluctantly congratulates them while holding Otabek’s hand, and JJ stands up abruptly to introduce them to his fiancée Isabella.

Takeshi brings out the cake once the buffet platters have been cleaned. Everyone snaps pictures and cheers as Yuuri and Victor hold the knife together and cut a slice of the cake that they then plate. Yuuri promises his husband that he won’t smash the cake into his face, but of course he does anyway. Victor makes a sad face around the cake smushed into it and his husband laughs at him before licking and kissing the sweet, chocolate frosting off his cheek.

Chris clinks his knife to his champagne glass, standing to announce the speeches that Mari and Mila will be giving. Mila goes first, telling several embarrassing stories about Victor, how he’s like her older brother at the stable, and how she is thankful to Yuuri for bringing joy back into her dear friend’s life. Mari stands and immediately begins an eloquent speech about how she was jealous of her younger brother when he was first born until she was put in charge of him one day while their parents were busy with the horses. It’s a story that Yuuri has heard countless times before but it’s somehow a million times more emotional than usual. He has to get up once she’s done to hug and thank her.

The night drags on and Otabek eventually gets behind the DJ table and people begin dancing. Sara and Mila dominate on the dance floor despite JJ and Isabella’s best attempts. Yuuri’s leaning against Victor’s shoulder, watching them when the music stops and Otabek speaks.

“I believe it’s that time of the night,” he begins, scattered applause following his voice. “It’s time for our newlywed couple to have their first dance.”

The cheers start up fully as a smooth guitar tune begins, Stevie’s voice quickly joining it and Yuuri blushes hard. He takes the hand Victor offers to him and they run out onto the now clear dance floor. They hold hands and whirl around in the grass, shimmying to the beat and laughing as they spin each other.

“I had no idea you were an old soul when it came to music,” Yuuri teases his husband.

“Yakov loves this stuff,” Victor explains. “His tastes rubbed off on me.”

The song ends and Yuuri is draw close to his husband’s chest as another one starts up right after. He frowns, confused until he recognizes the piano tune.

“Is- Vitya, is this your dressage song? Why on earth are we dancing to this?”

“Shh,” Victor presses their bodies close, his mouth against Yuuri’s ear. “You’ll see.”

They sway and then the voice begins. It’s an operatic aria piece sung in Italian that Yuuri knows well enough to sing in his sleep. However, when the singer starts his forlorn verses, Victor does something he refused to countless times in the past; he begins translating.

“‘I hear a voice weeping in the distance / Have you maybe been abandoned as well?’” He says slowly with the singer. “‘Come now, I'll quickly finish this glass of wine / I’ll start to get ready / Be quiet now.'”

Yuuri listens quietly to the sweet voice whispering in his ear, completely baffled. And then, the chorus begins.

“‘Stay close to me, don’t go away / I’m afraid of losing you.’” Victor murmurs as the singer’s voice surges with passion. “‘Your hands, your legs, / My hands, my legs, / And our heartbeats / Are blending together.’”

Yuuri pulls back to look at his husband, caressing his face and holding him close.

“Did you…?”

“Yeah. I commissioned someone to write the music for me,” Victor explains. “I wrote the words and they translated it into Italian.”

“You are…  _ incredible, _ ” Yuuri giggles, kissing his husband slow and soft.

They dance for the rest of the night, being joined by the other couples in the wedding party. Sara and Mila slowly spin each other across the grass, giggling as their skirts billow around their legs. Yurio is perfectly pressed against Otabek’s chest, their heads leaning together. Sam leads Chris in a slow waltz, finally having gotten him to stop trying to strip.

Yuuri smiles and leans against the chest of his own lover - now husband - feeling truly content for the first time in his life.

***

I never intended for the horses to look this beautiful, but Saffy strikes again. Go give her all the love on Tumblr (saferion.tumblr.com). You won't regret it.


	50. Epilogue #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “моя любовь, what’s-”  
> Yuuri stops Victor with a hard kiss, pulling back to smile up at him and present the letter and photo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, gorgeouses!  
> So, this is the final chapter of this fic, but it is not the end of the story! While I prepare the mermaid fic, I shall be writing 12 extra chapters that will be put into a separate fic. They'll range from stories about Victor and Yuuri before they met to some fluff with Mila and Sara to some lovely OtaYuri moments. Stay tuned for that new fic that should be coming within a week or two.  
> Until then, enjoy, my beauties!

Yuuri, arms laden with groceries, uses his hip to open the door to the apartment building. He stops by the Katsuki-Nikiforov mailbox to get what’s inside and heads up to the third floor in the elevator. He shuffles down the hallway when the elevator opens and knocks on his apartment door, waiting impatiently and adjusting the bags in his arms until it finally swings inward.

“Welcome back, моя любовь!” Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov exclaims with a flourish from the other side of the threshold.

Yuuri makes a face at his husband. “Pet names are not gonna get you out of having to put these away.” He drops the bags into the eventer’s arms and goes into the living room with the mail. “As the resident cook, _you_ should be buying the groceries.”

“I had to work on Aria’s training,” Victor says as he carries the bags into the kitchen. “I’d like to start basic dressage soon.”

“You sure she’ll be able to do it _now_?” Yuuri asks as he flips through the mail pile, setting the bills to the side. “She trips over her own feet.”

“I believe in her,” Victor responds. “She’s a fast learner.”

After competing in two more Olympics, winning half a dozen more FEI Classics, and remaining mostly undefeated in the World Equestrian Games, Makkachin retired and now spends his days being a lazy old man in the pastures of St. Petersburg. Eros is coming upon her final years as a competitor, and she seems to have gotten jealous of her barn mate. With the champion horse out of the way, Yuuri and Eros won the last two Classics and dominated at the World Equestrian Games. Victor has spent his newfound free time training Aria, his new mare.

The past ten years have seen the two eventers going back and forth between first and second place in every Event in which they compete. The other riders, specifically Yurio, have gotten tired of their competitive banter, but they love teasing each other. Victor won gold in the first Olympics they were rivals, Yuuri getting silver. In the next one four years later, Yuuri got gold and his husband stayed true to his word, polishing his medal every day for a month. Once Eros retires, Yuuri is planning on becoming a coach at the St. Petersburg stable. He might compete again later, but for now, he’d like to focus on training new riders.

Yuuri holds up a magazine he pulls out of the mail pile. “Vitya, _Equine Monthly_ is here.”

“Ooo! Is this the one where you had those cute breeches on?” Victor says excitedly as he takes the magazine from his hand.

Yuuri smiles. “I think it’s the one with the chestnut jodhpurs that made your ass pop.”

“Every pair of jodhpurs makes my ass pop.”

Yuuri giggles as he continues flipping through the mail. He stops when a particular return address and logo catches his eye. He rips open the envelope to find a letter and photo of a young girl with beautiful blue eyes and short blonde hair. He begins reading the note.

    _Dear Mr. and Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov,_

_We are happy to inform you that your adoption request has been accepted and you’ve been matched! Please call the number below to set up an appointment-”_

Yuuri stops reading after the word ‘accepted’, jumping to his feet and running to encase his husband in a hug.

“моя любовь, what’s-”

Yuuri stops Victor with a hard kiss, pulling back to smile up at him and present the letter and photo. “They accepted the adoption request! That’s our daughter!”

Victor’s smile at those words is the most beautiful thing Yuuri’s ever seen. He laughs with joy and lifts his husband into the air, spinning him around and hugging him close. Yuuri gives him the letter to read when he’s set back on the ground.

“‘… to set up an appointment in which you’ll fill out the final forms and pick up your child to take them home. Below is the information about the child you’ve been matched with-’, oh my god, Yuuri!”

“I know!” He kisses Victor again before taking the picture to stare at the girl in it. “We’ll have to go shopping this weekend and we can decorate the spare room.”

“Should we buy her a pony?”

Yuuri makes a face at his husband. “Victor, we’re not buying a pony for a one year old.”

“Why not?”

“Do you want to be denied a second child due to irresponsible parenting after out first one suffered terrible head trauma?”

“… good point.”

“What color do you want to do her room in?” Yuuri asks excitedly. “Yellow, green? My mom told me that bright colors help to reinforce positive emotions.”

“I like periwinkle blue.”

“We’re not doing periwinkle blue.”

“Why not?!”

 

Nika.

It’s the name Yuuri hasn’t been able to stop thinking about and what Victor has been singing over and over for two weeks. They spend a day painting her room a soft green, adjusting the furniture they bought to match. The small bookshelf in her room is filled with picture books in three languages, some of her fathers’ favorites. They’ve read her profile and looked at her pictures a dozen times every day.

Nika’s mother is a teenage girl whose parents refused to let get an abortion. The little girl has been passed from foster home to foster home for a year and a half and has now found parents willing to adopt her.

Well, incredibly willing in Victor and Yuuri’s case.

They’ve been married for a decade and have been trying to adopt a child for a year now. They figured this time would be perfect because Victor isn’t competing for the next few years while he trains Aria, and once the green mare is ready, Eros should be retired. This way, someone will always be home with the kids while the other is competing. After submitting to several agencies in Europe and being rejected due to distance, they finally found a place in St. Petersburg that seemed promising. Two months after submitting their application, they’re getting ready to meet their first child.

Yuuri cradles a little horse stuffed animal that they bought as he and Victor walk hand in hand into the adoption agency building. They sign in at the front desk and are ushered up to the office they’ll be meeting in. Yuuri’s toes tap anxiously as the elevator ascends, Victor’s hand squeezing his to help him calm down. His husband is definitely anxious as well because he practically drags Yuuri down the hallway once they reach the right floor. They’re welcomed into an office after a single knock from Victor.

The woman in the doorway smiles at them. “You must be Mr. and Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov.”

“That we are,” Yuuri answers, shaking her hand. “I’m Yuuri and this is my husband Victor.”

“I know,” she says, shaking Victor’s hand as well. “I watched you both in the Olympics. I was very excited when we received your adoption request.”

She ushers them inside and gestures for them to sit in the chairs across from her desk. She introduces herself as Kristina and strikes up small talk as she gets out the paperwork.

“Ah, here we are,” Kristina pulls out a manilla folder and sets it on her desk, opening it as she sits down. “Nika, one and a half years old. I’m glad she’s finally getting adopted. You two were such a perfect match, I thought it was a miracle when your adoption request and profile came in. You’re in the right area, your jobs work out for her to be taken care of, your personalities line up well… honestly, I think it might actually be a miracle.”

Victor chuckles and Yuuri smiles at her. “We’re just thankful that we finally got accepted. We’ve been searching for over a year.”

“I know, I read that on your profile,” Kristina says. “So, let’s get this stuff filled out so you can take Nika home.”

They spend the next half hour reading over the forms and signing them, Kristina walking them through the details and what each form is for. Once they’re all done, she makes a call. Five minutes later, there’s a knock on the door and Victor and Yuuri turn around to watch her open it.

A woman stands there holding the hand of a little girl. The girl is blonde with eyes the same color as Vitya’s, her hair tied up in little pigtails. She cowers behind the woman’s leg, holding onto her pant leg with her free hand. The woman holds the handle of a little suitcase in her other hand.

Yuuri slips out of his chair to kneel on the ground across from her. “Hi, Nika.”

She slips further behind the woman’s leg.

“It’s okay,” he holds up his hands. “I’m Yuuri and this is my husband Victor. We’re adopting you.”

“What?” comes her delicate voice.

“We’re gonna be your Dads,” Victor says, joining Yuuri on the floor.

Nika steps out from behind the woman’s leg.

“I have something for you,” Yuuri says, presenting the stuffed animal. “Do you like horses?” She nods. “Well, we ride horses for our job. You’ll get to meet them soon.”

“Would you like to walk to them?” The woman holding her hand asks.

Nika bites nervously on her finger, letting go of her hand and stepping towards Yuuri. He smiles at her and she gives him a little grin in return. She stops when she reaches his knees and Yuuri holds out the stuffed animal. She takes it and holds it close. Nika watches him for a moment and then steps forward once more, leaning into his chest and wrapping her tiny arm around him as best as she can. Yuuri’s heart melts as he hugs his daughter, looking over to Victor who smiles widely at him.

“May _I_ have a hug?” Vitya asks her.

Nika giggles as she wobbles over to her other dad, Victor folding himself over her the way he does with Yuuri. He picks her up and she giggles again. The woman at the door gives Yuuri her suitcase, and they bid her and Kristina a good day as the new family heads out of the building together. Nika and Victor are stuck in an intense conversation that has Yuuri laughing as they get in the car and head home.


	51. Announcement

Hey guys! This isn't a new chapter itself, but it _is_ an announcement to tell you guys that the extra chapters is being posted in a separate fic on my account! Go check it out! It's gonna be fun!

**Author's Note:**

> Horse trailer - an RV, but for horses.  
> Eventer - a competitive equestrian who takes part in three-day eventing  
> Mare - a full grown, female horse (if you didn't know that, I'm severely judging you)  
> Palomino - a color of horse: a creamy coat accompanied by a white mane and tail  
> Rolex Kentucky Event - an annual Olympic level three-day event held in Kentucky  
> Thoroughbred - a breed of horse known for their speed AKA racehorses  
> Off the track thoroughbred (OTT) - a retired racehorse  
> Jodhpurs - riding pants  
> Chaps - leather leg wrappings that allow for greater support of the leg against the saddle. Yuuri is wearing English half-chaps that end below the knee  
> Tack - collective term for the bridle, saddle, and blankets used for riding  
> Nicker - a soft rumbling sound made by a horse for greeting or affection  
> Chestnut - a horse color: red/orange coat, mane, and tail  
> Gelding - a castrated male horse (stallions are too aggressive for riding(duh))  
> Dapple gray - a horse color: a gray horse with silvery dapples (look it up, they're gorgeous)  
> Cross ties - a way to tie horses in the aisle of a barn  
> Frog - the triangle thing in the center of a horse's hoof. Very important as they absorb impact and help with circulation (horses technically have five hearts)  
> Barrel - the body of the horse consisting of the ribcage and organs  
> Whinny - a horse noise  
> Hands - the way we measure horses: from the floor to the bone at the base of their neck. Each hand is roughly four inches  
> Star - a white forehead marking  
> Blaze - a white face marking of a line down the front of the horse's face  
> Socks - leg markings that go from the hoof to the ankle  
> Liver chestnut - like a chestnut, but more purple  
> Three-day eventing - a horseback riding competition in which rider and horse compete in three different events over the course of three days; first dressage, then cross country, and finally show jumping


End file.
